Okay. I'd been wearing braces for almost three years.

Went to the ortho three days ago and got them off.

Went to get my retainers today.

"Wear them full-time for 6 months." Okay, gotcha.

"After the 6 months, use them at night only for 6 months." Fine by me.

Then - what the fuck?!

I have to continue wearing them at least once a week for the rest of my life?!

What is this crap they're telling me? REALLY?

I'm gonna have to take care of, and keep track of, these damn things for the rest of my life?!