The only one who has nothing. Nothing to celebrate, to give,to receive, to share. The only one who has to feel the anger I feel. I try very hard to avoid places where people gather and share their thoughts and pictures (like Facebook, and here) during the Christmas season because I am not in on it for financial and painfully harsh reasons. But I also feel very lonely, so I go online to get some small hint of a familiar face, a friend or relative, and what happens? WHAM - the sickness of family gatherings, presents, christmas trees, warm fuzzy feelings of love and material wealth shoved in the face of the world. Its enough to make me want to go to sleep and not wake up til January. I wish it would all end. Go away. And take the pain and hopelessness with it! I have had enough. Tonight I'm unplugging the computer because tomorrow is Christmas Eve, and I know the next 48 hours will be extremely sad. I'm so tired of the constant sadness. And I'm tired of being the only one who feels this way. Rant off.