Reevaluating My Experiences Again

[DawnEye11]

Purpose It may sound cliche but as a 5yr old I thought there was something waiting to be discovered in dreams. Just looking at the bed gave me goosebumps but if there was a hidden gem It would be worth it. What did that gem entail for me at the time? Purpose. Maybe not the whole purpose of the life I was living but a good enough part of it. Alone You soon have to fall asleep. I knew that. However, even if my brothers slept with me side by side or in the very room, I was weary of closing my eyes and being surrounded. Surrounded by that dark moment when you slip into the dream unaware.So what made me follow through with it? Knowing that I was going to be aware, brave, experience, discover and flow with whatever came my way.The darkness did end up surrounding me but it was calm and so was I, for a good amount of time till I felt fear tickle my feet with uncertainty. *You will run into a moment where you find yourself scared within the dream someday. But face your fear and know that your safe when lucid dreaming no matter what happens. When you remind yourself that it is like an unbreakable shield. Symbolism That green eye on my father's lower leg. He lay on an icy bed/table as my family surrounded him and told me to get closer. Was he dead? Thought's such as that followed me because of my 5yr old lucid dream and importance of it began to die down a bit after turning 13.This was a part of my dream I don't think I wrote down here or excluded details but it was as memorable as the day I got my first parakeet. (I was five) I admit I probably didn't write it because I didn't feel it was necessary if i already recalled a good chunk of it. I think I doubted myself after reading a memory thread too. But for sure it was important. It meant something to me. Not just that I loved my dad but that life has its mysteries and to not let go of puzzles that were there for a purpose. *Some more information about that specific time, is the only family member I knew that died when I was baby was my mom's father. It's possible It could have been him than changed to the form of my dad. Or this could have just popped up into my mind when I saw the body at first. Recall Is what I'm remembering battered memory or arbitrary? It's been years since I was five so how is it that I have faith in my words? The answer is I attached those memorable memories and dreams to a string, wrapped it around myself, my age, the photos my mom took of us and our house, I wrapped it around my old house, my new dreams, the cartoons that talked about being aware in a dream, the conversations I had with my childhood friends and brothers and reminded myself of the details so that I could solve the mystery someday. I don't doubt there are certain things I forgot though. Like how I can't remember if it was a bed/table but I'm 100% sure It was small, had no vibrant bed sheets,and was narrow . *I also made a mind list of dream elements. Here is an example of one of them. -Dark Hallway -Light in middle -Flowing through it as if I'm being shown something -Picture in middle -Guy with long white hair in picture *Another Example -Sun like cartoon character -Spanish commercial with kids and mom -Chasing me around -Scared but not giving up -wake up and tell mom about it -T.V. was on Letting Go Of The Mystery After talking about those mysterious dreams with those from dream views and whom I know in rl, I decided to let go of remembering it and it's importance. But even now I find myself remembering a good chunk of it, despite losing some more memory. Also, knowing that I remember it inspires me to keep up with my renewed goals. I want to continue writing more but I'll write on another time. This is good for reflection.