Thread: Why do people look ugly when they cry?

-stares- ...

@ Paragon: That's my opinion on the subject. It's not the crying that makes someone unattractive, but the distortion of the face, and the unnatural colors it can bring, as though they are ill or malformed. If someone is absolutely bawling, or trying to stop but still has their face all "scrunched up," as you call it, it is ugly, but someone who is just weeping tears and breathing raggedly rarely evokes anything but sympathy (Alice Cooper eyeliner is one of the exceptions that reduce the sympathy felt).

But doesn't scrunching up the face while crying make someone ugly or simply less appealing? It's not like they stay like that after they're done crying... or at least I'd hope not.

Originally Posted by JET73L

@ Paragon: That's my opinion on the subject. It's not the crying that makes someone unattractive, but the distortion of the face

Actually that wasn't Paragon, it was me, Goldney.

Indeed, there is no way that I, Paragon, would make a fatuous remark like that. That is obviously something the likes of Goldney would say.

I'm thobbing all becauth all the people are arguing & it thaddens me tho much

*ugly crier, with snot and puffy eyes*

I blame onions.


srsly,

I am curious to what ppl think of it. I do not have a discursive strategy designed to sway others to my perspective.

Just an invitational mood to posting your response & opinions - that I may be open to possibilities for looking at things in new ways.

For me, it has to do with the intensity. Somehow crying "their eyes out" is unattractive to me- the scrunched face, the snot, the gasping for breath.
If someone is "stoically (sp!) crying, or fighting their tears, my heart goes out to them and I see them in a more dignified light.
People who abuse crying get on my very last nerve. I can't be around people who are constantly pessimistic or "drama kings and/or queens". They sap my energy. I call those people psychic vampires. They include anyone who seems to thrive off of agony (their own and/or others).

When I was about 17 years old, I was dating a guy who was part Phillipino (sp!). He had gorgeous dark brown eyes. One day, he had the bright idea of "let's see other people"... which meant, HE wanted to see other people but didn't want me to. I met someone else, fell in love, and ended my relationship completely with the first guy. I was absolutely amazed when he pulled his car over to me to talk, a few days later, and I saw he was crying and his eyes had become a most awesome shade of blue. I didn't think anyone in the world was as beautiful as he was at that moment.

MysteryHunter

Originally Posted by paragon

Any man who is afraid to cry is a nancy.

That said, a man differs from a woman in that he should only cry about important things, and should maintain his composure whenever possible. So, crying about broken fingernails is probably out for us. And sport.

Sport? Come on, when your team you've followed for 20 years lifts the Champions League, that's a moment you're allowed to cry!! 10+ beers add to that ha-ha!

Oh god that reminds me, why is it alcohol always makes men more amotional? Jeeez I've seen a lot of men crying when drunk lol

Those may not be ugly tears, but they're pretty damned ridiculous.

Originally Posted by Adam

Sport? Come on, when your team you've followed for 20 years lifts the Champions League, that's a moment you're allowed to cry!! 10+ beers add to that ha-ha!

NO. OK, losing The Ashes maybe, but generally NO.

Oh god that reminds me, why is it alcohol always makes men more amotional? Jeeez I've seen a lot of men crying when drunk lol

When you're drunk you forget briefly that being a man means being made of stone, having absolutely no emotion, compassion nor desires (other than for sex and more beer).

It serves as an evolutionary function. When people cry, they look ugly so people stay the fuck away! stay the fuck away I'm crying!

Originally Posted by paragon

Actually that wasn't Paragon, it was me, Goldney.

Sorry Paragon, Goldney. Misread the page.
...Wait.

Originally Posted by JET73L

[QUOTE =paragon;1044101]Actually that wasn't Paragon, it was me, Goldney.[/QUOTE ]

What?

People also look unattractive when they're laughing so hard they look like they've been crying a lot. It could be such intense reactions mean "something's not right with this situation, I'm not at full capacity, get away!" to the viewer.

In social interaction,
facial emotion and vocal emotion have prominent positions,
and the face and voice can alone convey the same information about a person's emotional state.

But what happens when the the visual cues are taken away.
Without Tears, Is There Still Sadness?



It seems then it may just be an individual's reaction to the crying, is impacted by the presence of tears (or absence of them). Viewers perceive the digitally removed tear photos as less sad.

That person above does not appear to be properly crying. They appear to be faking it to produce a good camera shot. So when the tears are removed, all you are left with is someone who is not sad.

Therefore your argument about tears is invalid.



See. There's someone doing some good scrunching of the face, hence, real tears.

^^
Again for all I know in that photo she is really just cutting onions, or around someone cutting onions.
I blame onions. Your argument regarding real tears is invalid.

Originally Posted by Goldney

That person above does not appear to be properly crying....

whether a photo captures some tears that are honest or not

, there's no real way to cry properly.

Originally Posted by paragon

Any man who is afraid to cry is a nancy.

That said, a man differs from a woman in that he should only cry about important things, and should maintain his composure whenever possible. So, crying about broken fingernails is probably out for us. And sport.

So you're basically saying that females are just ditsy little insignificant creatures who have nothing legitimate and important to cry about, as opposed to males, who are FAR more important than females? Textbook definition chauvinist.

Originally Posted by paragon

When you're drunk you forget briefly that being a man means being made of stone, having absolutely no emotion, compassion nor desires (other than for sex and more beer).

Now you're contradicting yourself (unless you're being sarcastic, which I really, really REALLY hope you are). You say that any man afraid to cry is a nancy, and yet you've been brainwashed to believe that men aren't human beings and have to PRETEND that they don't have emotion. It takes more strength to admit that you care about things. I feel sorry for you. I really do. You're a slave to the fear of not looking like a so-called "real man".

[no-name] 5:23 pm: In before ban
[Goldney] 5:24 pm: Is that me?
[Idolfan] 5:24 pm: lol
[Abra] 5:24 pm: Ha~
[Goldney] 5:24 pm: Yes.
[Goldney] 5:24 pm: Yes it is.
*********[suttsman] 5:24 pm: oh noes
[Abra] 5:24 pm: I tried telling them they were being asses.
[Goldney] 5:24 pm: It's only 7 days guys.
[Lucid Dreaming]: sugafoot420 has entered at 5:24 pm
[Abra] 5:24 pm: You're most likely going to get permabanned.
[Abra] 5:24 pm: No, Goldney.
[Goldney] 5:24 pm: You'll barely have time to miss me.
[Goldney] 5:24 pm: It was worth it for the lulz.
[Abra] 5:25 pm: ClouD posted that the next person who does that gets perma.
[Idolfan] 5:25 pm: I need to go and wash my smelly body. I return in a
[Goldney] 5:25 pm: Fuck really?

That's not ugly.

Originally Posted by WakataDreamer

That's not ugly.

If you analyze that face, you can't actually see sadness.

I'd say, there's more disgust than any other emotion in that expression. Disgust is one of the six basic emotions...

Also, pic kind of says "please slit my throat."

Now you're contradicting yourself (unless you're being sarcastic, which I really, really REALLY hope you are). You say that any man afraid to cry is a nancy, and yet you've been brainwashed to believe that men aren't human beings and have to PRETEND that they don't have emotion. It takes more strength to admit that you care about things. I feel sorry for you. I really do. You're a slave to the fear of not looking like a so-called "real man".

It's the internet. Lighten up. Yes, of course I was being sarcastic - I thought that was obvious. I was taking the pee out of modern erroneous perceptions of manhood, just as I take the pee out of the modern feminist perceptions of womanhood which state that women have to be exactly the same as men.*

* Not being sarcastic now, either.

Ok, thanks for clearing that up.

I get what you mean.. we instinctually see crying as 'unattractive' because, like Jeff777 said, it's one of those rare moments we take off our masks. From a poetic standpoint, it's seen as beautiful. Especially nowadays because it's more socially acceptable to show one's emotions, due to the progression of psychology and it's integration into the media and art and life in general yadda yadda.

I look hot when I cry.. my son looks like a little doughnut when he cries. But we don't wear mascara. (note mask/mascara)

The picture posted by MysteryHunter is actually an excellent one. In my opinion, she was not staging an emotion. Look at her nose- it's red in both pictures.
When I am DEEPLY upset about something and hold back my tears, if I do it long enough my eyes still become a little red as does my nose.

To me, the blonde looks fake- but it may be because the photo seems to be portraying her in a more romantic light.

I don't like overboard happiness either. I'm uncomfortable with it because 1) it's an uncontrolled emotion and my personal baggage dictates that a person should always contain themselves somewhat 2) it seems unstable to me 3) when it comes from an extrovert who is prone to such outbursts it is simply draining on me. I envy their ability to be so expressive, but I also want to flee because I'm repelled by chaos- even happy chaos.