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    Thread: How to get rid of fear for Sleep Paralysis/Hallu

    1. #1
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      How to get rid of fear for Sleep Paralysis/Hallu

      Hello everyone, I hope this is the right place to put this. I've been a lurker on this forum for quite a few weeks, waiting for my account to get approved. And thus, this is my first post.

      I've been fascinated with lucid dreams for a few months now. Kept a dream journal for 2 months (stopped doing that a bit, because I've been really tired lately), and have been doing reality checks, not as much as I used to these days. But I still do them regularly I'd say. Anyways, I want to start doing WILD. And while I've read the big thread about Sleep Paralysis and think I understand it (I'm going to refer to Hypnagogic Hallucinations as SP for comfort but I know the difference), I'm still a bit scared for it, and yes I know it's not required for WILD but I suppose I want to assume it'll happen for me for some reason if that makes sense. I know it's not real, and that it's just my subconscious, and I think the idea of it is pretty fascinating and on the other hand I suppose I also want to experience it just so I know what it's like. But on the other hand, I can't imagine something more frightening than SP. And that's for two reasons: You're still awake: opposed to a lucid dream, you're still in the real world or so to speak. Which seems more scary to me than a dream world. And two, I don't think you have any control do you? Like if something scary happens in a lucid dream you can just make it disappear, kill it, destroy it, replace it, but if you hear or see scary things in SP you can't like close your ears (I suppose that if you don't open your eyes you won't see anything).

      I've tried laying completely still when I go to bed (without WBTB) and for some reason I can swear that sometimes I get this weird sensation in my head as if it's working. Not that I'm going through SP but that it's close if that makes sense. That if I'll just lay still for a few more minutes it'll happen. But then I get freaked out, and turn around and just go to sleep (the fear is also then spiraling a bit, so let's say I'll get afraid of seeing/hearing demons. Then I realize that (I think) if you expect scary stuff to happen, the scary stuff will happen. And then I get even more freaked out because I'm thinking about the scary things, etc etc., something about having nothing to fear but fear itself am I right)

      But yeah like I said in the beginning. I do really want to do WILD, and even for some reason want to experience SP just so I know what it's really like. But does anyone have any tips on how to get over that fear?

      Let me know if I should put this in another forum!
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      It would be nice if other members could chip in who have had SP, as I've never had a single SP experience that I can recall, but I've had fever "dream" experiences, which are just... weird. And if it weren't for the fact that a fever is not something you'd willingly want upon yourself, I wouldn't mind having that weird experience more often. In any case, I think with this type of experience you can learn to deal with the weirdness in a relaxed way as long as you are willing to accept it. To me, it sounds like you are open to this, so I honestly can't see what you'd have to fear from finding yourself experiencing SP or something else that has weirdness like it.

      This is all just my opinion, of course.

      And as well, you may find that if you're focusing solely on this fear and don't let go of it, you might not find enjoyment in the rest of what you're trying to do. Fear is irrational of course, so letting go of it can come with some difficulty if you're not feeling particularly confident in yourself, which can just lead to a cycle of panicky obsession, as you describe yourself, you fear the fear. The best way I know to overcome fears, really, is with being confident (but not overly so) and taking them on bit by bit, so you can gradually get used to them.

      I have some recent experience of learning to deal with some of my own long-standing fears and phobias and it's not really something easy to put into words for someone else, a bit like the experience of LDing in itself. I'm trying to think of an appropriate analogy here... It's a bit like you are learning to do something new that you REALLY need to know for, say your next job or project. It can be stressful and make you feel like you can't handle it at all, but usually this comes from feeling overwhelmed with too much at once. Being afraid of something is not so different and the thoughts about the fear itself are a part of what might cause that feeling of being overwhelmed. Another element to dealing with fear is control, maybe obviously, maybe not. This is where confidence comes in because in many situations of fear we probably feel out of control because we can exaggerate the threat. In a sense, you can feel control when in a state of something like SP by simply acknowledging that it can't harm you directly or that it can't cause lasting damage of any kind, especially because it's a natural body function.

      If you've ever been in enough pain to wish that it would just kill you, you know that it really just can't do that, because the primary purpose of pretty much every function of our body is geared towards existing and surviving.

      Personally I'd be excited to see/hear demons, but that's probably just me. What might be useful to remember is that anything your mind produces is just... You, on some level. Even if it's something really unpleasant to deal with consciously, there will likely be a reason it's appearing, even if it's just a symbolic and abstract reason, and you can always try to analyse why that is. Doing that in the moment can place you outside of your own panic and allow you to adjust your perspective and also let you feel some emotional control. Rejecting that an imagined image is part of you in some sense will possibly only work the same way as obsessing about a fear, reinforcing any negative feelings in a cycle.

      Finally, I'll just say that I personally believe expectation is a double-edged blade. Generally, yes, expectation can make things happen but from my experience, conscious expectation does not always produce direct effects on what happens for me in dreams. There are elements of expectation that are under the threshold of consciousness, as far as I can observe. Sometimes my conscious expectations, even about fear, might not materialise, but I guess like so much, this probably varies from person to person.
      Singled out from some of my favourite quotes from Sid Meier's Alpha Centauri: "Risks of [Planet] flowering: considerable. But rewards of godhood: who can measure? - Usurper Judaa'Maar: Courage: to question."

    3. #3
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      It's confusing to me that you're forcing the sleep paralysis narrative on yourself. Just drop it, I think.


      As a kid, I had vivid hypnagogic hallucinations on a daily basis. Most were not so scary. But sometimes it was spiders. If I could feel them all over my skin, I would also see them in the thousands. Sometimes it was just one big one and whether I closed my eyes or open them, it would remain. Like you said, I couldn't turn off my sight. The only thing that ever solved it was to go see my parents. As I ran to their bedroom all sorts of creatures would come out of corners and from behind various objects. Until I got to my parents and it would all be gone. It was scary but harmless. Much scarier was visiting the basement at night haha (no hallucinations there, just terrifying af).

      Like a kid scared of their own basement still venturing there at night for the thrill, if you are scared of dreams and you still want to go. Enjoy it as long as there's a thrill. Eventually, you'll realize it's the same basement as during the day, and the same mind as during the day.

      My suggestions is look into visualization. There's a course by Sivason at the DV Academy if you're interested. You might learn to direct your mind. Personally, as I go to bed, I sometimes just do that before falling asleep. I sometimes get some pretty cool visuals. For example, I might visualize a recent dream and replay it with some more lucidity. Or I just go on a trip.

      (Sidenote: without fear, there cannot be courage)
      Last edited by Occipitalred; 04-14-2021 at 06:25 PM.

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      You've had difficulty getting rid of this fear because this fear is based on beliefs that you think are rational and we have difficulty getting rid of beliefs that we think are rational. To get rid of fear, you have to consider the beliefs the fear is based on to be irrational.

      You may think that some beliefs are rational because you have not seriously considered the reasoning behind those beliefs. For example, for what reason do you believe seeing/hearing demons would be scary?

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      You don't have to be too afraid of SP. I don't think it's all that common. More likely, if you're on your way to a WILD, you will experience vibrations all over your body, it's sort of like SP. But, the main difference is that you're not stuck, you could wake up at any time. The vibrations may be accompanied by strange visuals or sounds, and for me, I often get a pinching pain on my left side. Whatever happens, lean into it. Don't fight it, don't panic. Just accept and embrace, even if it's uncomfortable. It will be over within a minute, and you will be inside a lucid dream.

      I don't know what causes SP or the best way to handle it, as I don't have that experience (maybe one time). I would recommend trying to relax your mind as much as possible if it does happen, reasserting that this is illusion. Know that it will pass, and no real harm will come from it.

      Good luck and welcome to DV!
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      Thank you, this actually helps a lot. I haven't thought about it like that yet. But it's why I love dreams, and even don't mind nightmares, because mostly it tells me something about myself and I love dissecting that. So if I ever do get SP why not just try and analyze that as well (the goal is to LD ofc, but maybe it's a good state of mind to have instead of being scared)
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      Quote Originally Posted by Occipitalred View Post
      It's confusing to me that you're forcing the sleep paralysis narrative on yourself. Just drop it, I think.


      As a kid, I had vivid hypnagogic hallucinations on a daily basis. Most were not so scary. But sometimes it was spiders. If I could feel them all over my skin, I would also see them in the thousands. Sometimes it was just one big one and whether I closed my eyes or open them, it would remain. Like you said, I couldn't turn off my sight. The only thing that ever solved it was to go see my parents. As I ran to their bedroom all sorts of creatures would come out of corners and from behind various objects. Until I got to my parents and it would all be gone. It was scary but harmless. Much scarier was visiting the basement at night haha (no hallucinations there, just terrifying af).

      Like a kid scared of their own basement still venturing there at night for the thrill, if you are scared of dreams and you still want to go. Enjoy it as long as there's a thrill. Eventually, you'll realize it's the same basement as during the day, and the same mind as during the day.

      My suggestions is look into visualization. There's a course by Sivason at the DV Academy if you're interested. You might learn to direct your mind. Personally, as I go to bed, I sometimes just do that before falling asleep. I sometimes get some pretty cool visuals. For example, I might visualize a recent dream and replay it with some more lucidity. Or I just go on a trip.

      (Sidenote: without fear, there cannot be courage)
      Thanks, I will do that as well. I do try to visualize a dream, I've got this dreamworld of a beach, I've never dreamt of being there. But if I ever get the chance to while WILDing or while actually being lucid I want to go there. And when I try to visualize it, I think about the 5 senses and what I'd feel/see/hear, etc.

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      Quote Originally Posted by dolphin View Post
      You've had difficulty getting rid of this fear because this fear is based on beliefs that you think are rational and we have difficulty getting rid of beliefs that we think are rational. To get rid of fear, you have to consider the beliefs the fear is based on to be irrational.

      You may think that some beliefs are rational because you have not seriously considered the reasoning behind those beliefs. For example, for what reason do you believe seeing/hearing demons would be scary?
      Hm, that's a very good question. I wouldn't know the answer to that to be honest, I suppose because they'd be 'demonic' creatures. While demonic creatures is something I don't think is scary in movies or games (I'm more afraid of ghosts in movies haha), I think it would be scary seeing it because it'd be so surreal. I suppose that the reason I'm not scared for demons in movies is because in my mind they're like not real at all. I suppose I'm more afraid of ghosts in movies, because I kind of believe in ghosts (so evil ghosts would be scary). But if that reason (they not being real), gets like taken away, by me seeing them (ofc they'd still be not real, but they'd look real I suppose) I think that would be scary. But also very interesting in a way. But yeah why then seeing the demons themselves would be scary I don't know. I suppose because they're scary haha but that's a stupid answer

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      Quote Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream View Post
      You don't have to be too afraid of SP. I don't think it's all that common. More likely, if you're on your way to a WILD, you will experience vibrations all over your body, it's sort of like SP. But, the main difference is that you're not stuck, you could wake up at any time. The vibrations may be accompanied by strange visuals or sounds, and for me, I often get a pinching pain on my left side. Whatever happens, lean into it. Don't fight it, don't panic. Just accept and embrace, even if it's uncomfortable. It will be over within a minute, and you will be inside a lucid dream.

      I don't know what causes SP or the best way to handle it, as I don't have that experience (maybe one time). I would recommend trying to relax your mind as much as possible if it does happen, reasserting that this is illusion. Know that it will pass, and no real harm will come from it.

      Good luck and welcome to DV!
      Thank you! I'll remember that. I'm not too scared for vibrations to be honest. But just to be sure, the only thing you do with WILD is lay still right? I've read many tutorials a few weeks ago, but that's like the 'main' thing if I'm not mistaken right?

    10. #10
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      Quote Originally Posted by danielprime9 View Post
      Thank you! I'll remember that. I'm not too scared for vibrations to be honest. But just to be sure, the only thing you do with WILD is lay still right? I've read many tutorials a few weeks ago, but that's like the 'main' thing if I'm not mistaken right?
      Well, you want to achieve a state where your body is super relaxed, but your mind is still somewhat alert. A relaxation technique / meditation (like the 61 point technique) while laying in bed can help get you there. You definitely want to do a WBTB - for me, I need to be awake for at least 1 hour, it may vary for you.

      Um, something you can try.. I read something about an interesting technique once, and it worked for me once. Wait until your body is asleep - you will know this because when you try to wiggle your toe, it won't move unless you put a lot of mental energy into it. Practice breathing in your belly while you wait for this state. Then, magic trick, flick your closed eyes really fast side to side a few times, then up and down about 10 times. It worked for me once, it's kind of weird, immediately I was thrown into the vibrations state. It didn't work other times I tried, though. *shrug* YMMV
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      Quote Originally Posted by MoonageDaydream View Post
      Well, you want to achieve a state where your body is super relaxed, but your mind is still somewhat alert. A relaxation technique / meditation (like the 61 point technique) while laying in bed can help get you there. You definitely want to do a WBTB - for me, I need to be awake for at least 1 hour, it may vary for you.

      Um, something you can try.. I read something about an interesting technique once, and it worked for me once. Wait until your body is asleep - you will know this because when you try to wiggle your toe, it won't move unless you put a lot of mental energy into it. Practice breathing in your belly while you wait for this state. Then, magic trick, flick your closed eyes really fast side to side a few times, then up and down about 10 times. It worked for me once, it's kind of weird, immediately I was thrown into the vibrations state. It didn't work other times I tried, though. *shrug* YMMV

      Oh wow that sounds interesting. I think I've had that state of only being able to move with a lot of effort some time. Is that SP? Either way, I'll try it out. Also I've been trying it when I go to bed instead of WBTB. Because it helps with the fear for some reason, and I don't know it feels better. And I've been trying it the last couple of nights, and I think I'm noticing some kind of progression if that is possible. I feel new things almost every night, not stuff like vibrations I think. But sometimes it'll feel like my head is spinning, or tingling feelings in my hands (this actually freaked me out earlier this week. I thought there was something wrong. I was laying on my back, with my arms besides me and my arms went numb, and my hands. And I thought my blood wasn't going well or something. I don't suppose there's anything wrong medically then right? I realized later that the whole point of SP might be going numb, and that I was kinda close. Would you say that I was?).

      Writing this down makes me remember what happened last night. So usually, when I close my eyes and try to sleep it's just straight blackness right. But yesterday at a certain point, it felt like there was depth to it. Like it was a void, or something I could see the blackness through. As if it was a big ball that I was standing in if that makes sense. But it still felt as if it wasn't anything related to a dream, but just the back of my eyes. I tried to visualize things in case it was a dream void. But nothing happened, nor did I really feel like I was somewhere, but just that the 2d blackness became 3d. I hope this makes some sense. thanks for your replies again!

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