Xanous' Dream Journal

#287 - WILD - 4:30AM

After a good hour plus of wakefulness I manage to calm myself to WILD. Strong HI starts. I see a woman handing me a cube with a long erect wire like an impossibly thin blade. I think of the Variable Sword from Ringworld. The woman wants me to follow her and I was supposed to do something but the vision fades.

Suddenly I am gripped with SP sensations. The gravity has shifted and I feel like I am in OBE mode. Everytime I try to transition, I hear a loud indescribable, sci-fi sucking sound with the feeling of being pulled back into my body. My vision of the dream room is blurred and it seems like I can see part of the room being warped with the suction. I feel a type of mental exhaustion with the effort and let it take me back. I am determined to get out and I try again, but to the same effect, though I think this time I last a little longer. I experience lots of G-forces and acceleration each time. I continue trying to escape each time a little farther. At one point, I reach the window and begin to phase. I feel myself pass through, but my vision is as though I am only pressed against it. This causes confusion and I feel like my physical eyes are opening (they weren't). I realize that I can feel something at my belly button and see the infamous "silver cord" for the first time. I find this astonishing and give into the suction taking back to my body.

I open my actual eyes feeling fully wake. I decide it's time change tactics and stop focusing on my body and start focusing on HI.

Within what feels like only a few seconds I see a woman running. I grab at the waist and holding on tightly. The dream feels thin and I am desperate to lock myself in. I say, "Help me." I get a view of large breast under a grayish blue shirt and white undershirt or tank-top. She has a hold of me as well dragging me along. I am pulled into an elevator and I stand up.

I look at the woman more closely and she turns from brunette to blonde and then looks like my ex. I feel like I need to get physical stability so I kiss her neck without sexual intent. In fact, I worry this may cause unwanted dream sex. She pulls back wordlessly disgusted. I decide that was the wrong action and turn away embarrassed. when I do, I see the elevator door has opened and we exit.

I look around and see that I am in a hospital. Maybe now I can finally figure out what all these hospital dreams have been about. I decide this is my goal for this dream. I get the feeling that this woman, who doesn't look much like my ex anymore, wants me to follow her to the left but I feel like I am supposed to go right. It doesn't make sense and I hesitate. I feel a strong need to go right, but decide I should go with the woman since she was helping me. As soon as I make the chose to go left, I wake.

I DEILD easily and now I am coming to a dead end in a branch of the hospital. There is a patient's room with an open door. I see an old and dying man lying in a hospital bed. It's slightly elevated and a lamp on the other side of him casts a sharp silhouette on the curtain. this feels wrong so I turn around. I wake.

DEILD. I see the blonde going another direction in the hospital. I start to follow her but I see the elevator I came from down a hallway to the left. I am drawn that way again. I should have listened to my instinct. This is why I keep waking up. I forget about the woman and head the way I should have went all along.

I pass the elevator and come to a nurses station. A red headed nurse in an old style uniform and hat is standing there. She seems to recognize me and hurriedly points farther down. Saying, "It's Brett Barside. In there!" I feel the need to hurry and rush into the only room I see in the direction she is pointing. I pause at the door and double check the name.
BRETT BARSIDE
I am not sure what I am supposed to do, so I quickly enter the room unprepared. I see a small boy lying unconscious on a bed on his left side. I feel love, pity, compassion, and anxiety for the sick child. I don't know him, but I have some sort of emotional connection to him like I should know who he is. I lay next to him and hug him, telling how much I love him. I tell him that I am here for him, but he never stirs or responds in anyway. I shake the emotion off and decide this child must be in some kind of coma.

I take a moment to notice my environment. The room looks more like a colorful child's bedroom than a hospital room, but it's definitely a hospital room. This is typical for the pediatric wing, I suppose, but for some reason I think, Children's Hosptial. I look down and see several sticker labels on his bed. I focus on one and it reads [My Last Name] and then something like "filter". The characters of the last word are shifty and hard to hold shape enough to read very well. I decide this is unimportant and note the others. They are too blurry to make out so I leave it. Curious, I decide to wonder into the hallway, but this dream finally ends as I step out of the room.