Thread: Tell me how to get laid

If a guy who I was just getting to know suddenly started making sexual jokes, and I could sense he was basically just trying to get a feel for whether or not I want to date him or whatever, I'd be really bothered.

I don't have a problem with sexual jokes in general, it's really a matter of how casual the relationship is, and who it is making the joke.

Some guys just cannot pull this off without coming off as creeps, even accidentally, so I think it's terrible advice to suggest that they give it a try, especially to test a girl to see if she's interested. I would assume if someone is asking people on the Internet for advice on the matter, they're not particularly practiced in interacting with girls, so they'd probably not be experts at judging what's appropriate. If starting a relationship with this girl is important to the OP I think he should try not to do anything that might scare her off.

Making jokes like this may work out for some people, but it won't work for everyone. There are too many unknown variables to put your confidence in it.

This was just a response with regards to the idea of making sexual jokes and flirting with a new girl, not aimed at you specifically, tommo.

You're probably correct. One should have confidence first also.

|:<

Spoiler for How to hook up with hot chicks:

I prefer a more direct approach, such as:

"Hi! Nice shoes, wanna f*ck?"

Originally Posted by anderj101

I prefer a more direct approach, such as:

"Hi! Nice shoes, wanna f*ck?"

How often does that work?

Dave, you confused everybody with your title!!

I once knew a bartender who said his approach was to just walk up to a girl and put his hand on her ass. He said that way he's either gonna get laid or slapped, but either way he knows right away. If all a person is looking for is to get laid, there's a certain admirable simplicity to this approach.

When you talk. Look them in the eyes. But don't give them a bad look. Or a perverted creepy look. Just an understanding kind look. And when they talk. Listen..... like really listen

Just get a giant paper area map, unfold it, and put your penis on top of it and go around asking for directions, pointing to places right next to your penis.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Dave, you confused everybody with your title!!

I once knew a bartender who said his approach was to just walk up to a girl and put his hand on her ass. He said that way he's either gonna get laid or slapped, but either way he knows right away. If all a person is looking for is to get laid, there's a certain admirable simplicity to this approach.

Sexual harassment suit?

Originally Posted by dave1701

Just kidding. However, I have a huge crush on this girl and I barely know her name.

Listen kid, never kid.

Just kidding

Originally Posted by Squishdiboo

Sexual harassment suit?

Pretty sure that kind of puritanical harassment only applies in the workplace. You wouldn't get sued for touching a girls ass in a club.

Originally Posted by Squishdiboo

If a guy who I was just getting to know suddenly started making sexual jokes, and I could sense he was basically just trying to get a feel for whether or not I want to date him or whatever, I'd be really bothered.

I don't have a problem with sexual jokes in general, it's really a matter of how casual the relationship is, and who it is making the joke.

Some guys just cannot pull this off without coming off as creeps, even accidentally, so I think it's terrible advice to suggest that they give it a try, especially to test a girl to see if she's interested. I would assume if someone is asking people on the Internet for advice on the matter, they're not particularly practiced in interacting with girls, so they'd probably not be experts at judging what's appropriate. If starting a relationship with this girl is important to the OP I think he should try not to do anything that might scare her off.

Making jokes like this may work out for some people, but it won't work for everyone. There are too many unknown variables to put your confidence in it.

This was just a response with regards to the idea of making sexual jokes and flirting with a new girl, not aimed at you specifically, tommo.

Bah! I'm not big on the "sexual jokes" thing.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Dave, you confused everybody with your title!!

Huh?

Originally Posted by dave1701

How often does that work?

Every time. ...but, I only ever use it on someone I've known for long enough to get away with such a thing.

Originally Posted by tommo

Pretty sure that kind of puritanical harassment only applies in the workplace. You wouldn't get sued for touching a girls ass in a club.

Might get your ass kicked, though.

Originally Posted by dave1701

Huh?

The title makes it sound like you just wanna get laid, but then the thread's about all this touchy/feely romantic stuff. So you're getting some oddly mixed answers.

When I say to tell sexual jokes, That's like after you've gotten past the stage where you wouldn't be considered a freak for telling them. If she tells sexual jokes back, you may have gotten somewhere. Also another thing i forget to mention, share secrets with her. You need to build up trust, after all, your partner is meant to be one of the most closest people in your life. If she shares secrets with you, you may have also gotten somewhere.

This method has worked twice for me, out of two times

Originally Posted by AustralianFire

When I say to tell sexual jokes, That's like after you've gotten past the stage where you wouldn't be considered a freak for telling them. If she tells sexual jokes back, you may have gotten somewhere. Also another thing i forget to mention, share secrets with her. You need to build up trust, after all, your partner is meant to be one of the most closest people in your life. If she shares secrets with you, you may have also gotten somewhere.

This method has worked twice for me, out of two times

Again, I thought that was the case too. It doesn't always mean you're in.

Just refer to the "Pleasing Women" manual and follow each step in order. It's a sure-fire WIN!

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

The title makes it sound like you just wanna get laid, but then the thread's about all this touchy/feely romantic stuff. So you're getting some oddly mixed answers.

All that touchy feely crap is borne out of emotional desperation and fear of lonliness. Women aren't interested in real romance. Truthfully, what a woman likes and what she finds attractive are not the same thing. You want to be somebody's boyfriend, don't be their lapdog. Women are attracted to firm confidence, a man who knows who he is and doesn't need anyone to help him figure it out. Sensitive men have a harder time at this because they actually care what the woman thinks of them. This is foolish. Be courteous, obviously, but depend on no one for your own self-assurance. If you want to choose your spouse out of a handful of fine options, drop your balls and let them hang. If you want to cling to the one bitch nice enough to give you her number that one time, keep thinking about things "romantically."

Very un-PC, but it has the harsh ring of truth. Take it from the guy girls would cry to about how badly their boyfriends treat them.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Very un-PC, but it has the harsh ring of truth. Take it from the guy girls would cry to about how badly their boyfriends treat them.

If a mod wants to change the word Bitch then go for it but I'm just trying to talk some sense into these kids before they walk down the same road I did, thinking you could some how please a woman or earn her love. Women are attracted to that which retreats from them. Women are so insecure they need a guy who's secure and self-assured enough for them to follow. But sensitive guys are always repulsing them by refusing to take the lead. Why? Because they get that sensation of resistance and they turn into cowards. They put too much weight on the girl in front of them as if soul-mates were a scientific law. The fact is, your chances are greater at being with a total stranger than with a girl you faltered in front of.

Keep in mind there's a difference between confidence and being a jerk. Don't start treating women like crap just because somebody told you that they like it. Any girl you get that way probably doesn't deserve to be respected, and probably isn't worth pursuing, unless you are literally just looking to get laid.

Also, confidence isn't really a choice so much as something you either have or you don't - or I guess it's fair to say we all have different levels of it. There are some guys who might be right on the borderline and can step up without trying to be somebody they're not, but most of us either have that kind of confidence or we don't.

**EDIT**

Crap. This just made me remember - a couple years ago I read a bunch of books by Carl Sagan, and in one of them there was this section about testosterone as studied in rats. This is sort of common sense, but incredibly enlightening to see it backed up by scientific studies. I'll paraphrase as well as I can remember it:

Male rats with low testosterone were much smarter than those with high testosterone, and were also able to cooperate well with others in tests designed to evaluate group cooperation, where none of them get food unless they all do their part. When a rat with high testosterone was admitted into the group the whole group dynamics change instantly. The alpha rat would engage in typical slacker behavior - refusing to do his part and even going around intimidating all the beta rats until they froze in place and stopped doing anything. Then he'd go around and sex up all the females. These groups never completed the cooperation tasks. If several alpha rats were included, predictably it would just be fighting all the time. Beta males are able to mate if there are no alphas in the group, but if one is present, they aren't. The alphas spend all their time ensuring their position of authority and fighting all challengers.

Interesting thing about testosterone, and this took me completely by surprise - a young rat can be stopped from producing it in sufficient amounts if he's intimidated enough, usually by the mother. once this happens his testosterone production is permanently lowered.

Other rats, male and female, are able to detect levels of testosterone through subtle clues, probably mostly smell and visual indicators like stance and aggressiveness etc, and always treat a rat according to the actual level he has.

As Sagan wrote repeatedly (and ironically) throughout the article - thank god people are not rats.

Most people are rats.