Thread: Ask me about being Transgender

Sexually I would tend to say I'm akin to a lesbian, in the sense that I am only really attracted to women, and I've never felt any kinship with stereotypical male desires. I don't care about sex in a physical sense; I don't seek out sexual encounters. I have desire for intimate emotional relationships. Of course, it's debatable how accurately this represents the female psyche.

But I am fine with my body and would be averse to changing it. What's the difference between us?

Originally Posted by Xei

Sexually I would tend to say I'm akin to a lesbian, in the sense that I am only really attracted to women, and I've never felt any kinship with stereotypical male desires. I don't care about sex in a physical sense; I don't seek out sexual encounters. I have desire for intimate emotional relationships. Of course, it's debatable how accurately this represents the female psyche.

But I am fine with my body and would be averse to changing it. What's the difference between us?

Have you also felt that you wanted to be a girl since a young age?

Originally Posted by Mario92

Labels are fine with me. I'm a lesbian. I'm transgender and transsexual. I'm a girl.

Mario92, meet seroquel.

Question:

Have you ever been ridiculed by people you know or don't know? And are you scared or excited about this entire process?

Also, congratulations! Definitely think you made the right choice. I used to know someone that went under gender transformation and it was hard for him at first but in the end it made him much happier knowing he was who he should be.

Good Luck!

Originally Posted by Xei

Sexually I would tend to say I'm akin to a lesbian, in the sense that I am only really attracted to women, and I've never felt any kinship with stereotypical male desires. I don't care about sex in a physical sense; I don't seek out sexual encounters. I have desire for intimate emotional relationships. Of course, it's debatable how accurately this represents the female psyche.

But I am fine with my body and would be averse to changing it. What's the difference between us?

Sexuality and gender are two separate variables. What you describe isn't atypical among men, especially "beta males." Where we differ is that I am not fine with my body and I want to change it with all my heart. It isn't just that I lack kinship with male desires and the male social role...they repulse me. At the same time, the vast majority of stereotypical female desires and gender roles is immensely appealing. The thought of acting, looking, being a woman feels right. It isn't sexual excitement or arousal. It's correcting a long held gender dysphoria.

Originally Posted by Quantiq

Question:

Have you ever been ridiculed by people you know or don't know? And are you scared or excited about this entire process?

Also, congratulations! Definitely think you made the right choice. I used to know someone that went under gender transformation and it was hard for him at first but in the end it made him much happier knowing he was who he should be.

Good Luck!

Ah, I've been ridiculed once, by a notorious troll. Years of being on the internet has given me a thick skin, though, so not much bothers me. I was branded "that weird shy kid" in school way back when, so nobody bothered me after they realized I didn't give two shits.

Thank you.

What about makeup and shaving? Are you going to be all natural or what?

Whatever you do, don't have that stupid little "landing strip" thing. God damn, that thing annoys me like you wouldn't beleive. What the fuck is the point of that? Either shave, trim, or leave it alone; don't shave half and then leave the rest because you got bored. God damn.

/nonsensical rant

Originally Posted by Auron

What about makeup and shaving? Are you going to be all natural or what?

I'm not going to be into heavy makeup, but I'm already shaving. Arms, legs, face, the recreational funpark, etc. Essentially, Alopecia from the neck down. Makeup will be light after I transition. A little foundation, maybe some light blush and very light mascara (not the stupid-looking raccoon thing). Not a whole lot, and probably not every day. My sister doesn't use much or any and still looks fantastic every day, so I'll shoot for something like that.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Whatever you do, don't have that stupid little "landing strip" thing. God damn, that thing annoys me like you wouldn't beleive. What the fuck is the point of that? Either shave, trim, or leave it alone; don't shave half and then leave the rest because you got bored. God damn.

/nonsensical rant

That was the first thing I shaved. XP I'm going to see about getting the whole area lasered. At least nice and thin. ...although for some reason I'm now tempted to trim a little heart in it just to annoy people. XD

Would you ever date a male to female post-op girl?

Originally Posted by Auron

Would you ever date a male to female post-op girl?

If she's cute, yeah.

Mario92, were you nervous to come out as a transgendered person? Also, do you have an accepting special someone in your life right now?

Originally Posted by Squishdiboo

What makes someone a "girl" though?

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Squishy boobs

^Girl?

I'd tap that.

That sir, was definitely something I did not want to see today.

Originally Posted by Jeff777

Mario92, were you nervous to come out as a transgendered person? Also, do you have an accepting special someone in your life right now?

Ah, I was a bit nervous. I'm not really sure why...I was never really worried that my parents wouldn't be accepting. Maybe just because it was so huge and so far outside the norm that I wanted to be absolutely positive before saying anything. As for a girlfriend, I don't have one yet. I've never been in the dating scene before...never had so much as a kiss, even. Part of that stems back to my discomfort with myself and how that impacts my relationship skills. I don't think I'll really be looking for anyone until after I transition (which will be easier on both myself and my partner).

So are you going to try to look like your sister and do you and her have a good relationship?

Originally Posted by ooflendoodle

So are you going to try to look like your sister and do you and her have a good relationship?

My sis and I are on great terms, but I don't want to look like her. She's got her own unique look, and I've got to find mine. I'll still probably end up raiding her closet for fashion ideas and tricks, but I don't plan on copying her.

lol my sisters never stopped fighting about cloths until one moved to Texas and even when she came back they had a fight about it lol.

Also your green circle is off what's up with that?

Do you have man-boobs?

Are you annoyed when people ask you if you are a guy or gal?

I don't understand it. You have a male body and you are attracted to women , but you want to be a lady? why?

Originally Posted by dave1701

Do you have man-boobs?

Are you annoyed when people ask you if you are a guy or gal?

I don't understand it. You have a male body and you are attracted to women , but you want to be a lady? why?

As an aspiring psychologist, I can tell you that gender identity is a [I]little[I] more complicated than that.

Mario, good to hear your family is being cool about this; there's plenty of people out there that would be unnecessarily weirded out by the situation. Can't exactly say I've been in a similar position, but I've been through some rough patches and it's always good to be able to look at the people around you and know they're on your side.

Originally Posted by ooflendoodle

lol my sisters never stopped fighting about cloths until one moved to Texas and even when she came back they had a fight about it lol.

Also your green circle is off what's up with that?

Hahaha, I don't think my sis and I will have too many problems. The light is off because I'm a paranoid parrot.

Originally Posted by dave1701

Do you have man-boobs?

Are you annoyed when people ask you if you are a guy or gal?

I don't understand it. You have a male body and you are attracted to women , but you want to be a lady? why?

I don't have man-boobs. In fact, I'm quite slim and small. Petite is a good word.

People haven't asked if I'm a guy or a gal, as I'm still presenting as male. After I switch, getting spotted or "clocked" comes with the territory at first, so I'll be pretty darn used to it.

Supernova is right. Gender identity is a complex issue. For me, being male doesn't bring me any joy. It isn't just a neutral indifference to it, either. I find being in a guy's body to be repulsive and wholly uncomfortable. Even the prospect of getting laid more frequently can't offset the massive mountain of negatives that come with it. In fact, it actually hurts my chances of ever having sex. If I'm not comfortable with myself, how can I expect to be comfortable with anyone else? How can I expect them to be comfortable with me? It essentially demolishes my ability to create and maintain healthy interpersonal relationships. Gender and sex are two separate variables.

Originally Posted by Supernova

As an aspiring psychologist, I can tell you that gender identity is a [I]little[I] more complicated than that.

Mario, good to hear your family is being cool about this; there's plenty of people out there that would be unnecessarily weirded out by the situation. Can't exactly say I've been in a similar position, but I've been through some rough patches and it's always good to be able to look at the people around you and know they're on your side.

Thank you. There's an immense shortage of psychologists with actual training or even knowledge of this field. May you do much good in this world.

Family is important. From the transsexuals I've talked to, not having parental support is devastating and all too frequent. I'm very fortunate and thankful to have so many allies.

On a more serious note, what if you wake up in a cold sweat 20 years from now and question what you have done. How would you feel about yourself and your life? And how do you think your loved ones would feel about you and how you have lived your life?

I am more curious about the feelings / emotions than the specifics.

Then, how would you feel 20 years from now if you changed your plan this very day; went to the gym every other day, studied martial arts, married the woman of your dreams and perhaps started a family?

Originally Posted by IAmCoder

On a more serious note, what if you wake up in a cold sweat 20 years from now and question what you have done. How would you feel about yourself and your life? And how do you think your loved ones would feel about you and how you have lived your life?

For some people, gender is fluid. They drift in and out of phases. In my entire life, I've done no such drifting, and the odds of it happening in the future are remarkably slim. If that day ever does come, there is a reverse. I can go back to presenting male. However, just like people don't randomly wake up gay, I doubt I'll ever wake up male. As for my loved ones, I know they'll support me in whatever I do.

Then, how would you feel 20 years from now if you changed your plan this very day; went to the gym every other day, studied martial arts, married the woman of your dreams and perhaps started a family?

I doubt I'd ever get that far. I've been denying and hiding who I am for years. I can't imagine going back to that. More likely, I'd enter a spiraling depression with suicide the only escape. If I were to suddenly snap and just go all-out macho man, it wouldn't be me.

It's why he needs letters of req and counseling

Thanks for the answers!

Please allow me a final attempt at debugging: since you are attracted to women - what if you fall in love with a straight girl?

Have you been in love before?