Thread: Toltec way of life (Dreaming, Stalking, etc.)

I think what he was saying was like when some people give up smoking they make a big drama about it and fail repeatedly, others just stop.
Have you read the books?

Originally Posted by Vortex

I think what he was saying was like when some people give up smoking they make a big drama about it and fail repeatedly, others just stop.
Have you read the books?

Ah, okay. Just making sure. No, like I said above this is really the first I've heard of it, so I was checking out the links in here about it.

I think it's pretty interesting on the surface, but it seems...I dunno, a little egocentric perhaps? As in, everything's all about yourself? But maybe I'm reading into it too much? There's just something about it that irks me that way and I can't figure out what the deal is.

Like...what's the main "goal"? What are the most important things in life and spirituality according to him? Is it truth/wisdom, is it becoming the perfect warrior, is it salvation, is it love, ect.?

(I'm not trying to be a dick or anything, I'm actually ignorant about it, so I'm not fishing for debate material.)

well, I just read the art of dreaming and I can't for the life of me figure out why so many people hold it up as the lucid dreaming book. or even why the back of the book claims the book holds universal peace

the entire book was more like "how to not get fucked by the devil". all he does is talk about these inorganics who seem hell bent on ensnaring our souls if we lucid dream for all eternity in a spongy world with nothing but....living tunnels? and then, not only do you have to avoid being trapped by them *FOR ALL ETERNITY*, but also have to figure out how to use them.

sure, there were bits and pieces that reminded me of tibetan dream yoga. but mostly, the entire book was fear based. live off of fear, and fear every moment of your life, THE INORGANICS WILL GET YOU. like the pathetic deaf defier, living centuries in fear of these beings every moment. ENLIGHTENED BEINGS DON'T LIVE IN FEAR!!

this tells me that the path is not enlightened and is more of 'witchcraft'. how to control other entities. rather than universal love, peace, and overcoming the human ego.

the book disgusts me

I'll stick to the tibetan dream yoga, which is more enlightening and mind blowing anyways

Originally Posted by Naiya

But most spiritual masters will stress or talk about universal love.

I've never encountered anyone who was a "spiritual master". I see many self-acclaimed "spiritual masters", however.. but I am extremely suspicious of anyone who sets themselves on a pedestal and proclaims themselves as master/teacher/guru/tutor etc etc.

CC never said anything about himself being a "master". Quite the opposite. His books are as replete with failure as they are with any "success". Also, the very idea of "spirituality" is anathema to the "Nuevo Vidente" way of life. Practicality is their watchword, and they'll run to the hills to escape a "spiritual" person, as they aver that such people are just indulging in being "blissed-out".

Originally Posted by Naiya

This guy says to remember that anything or anyone can be cut out of your life in the blink of an eye. Does he mean by you or by life?

He means by you yourself, and IMO he's right.

Originally Posted by Naiya

I think it's pretty interesting on the surface, but it seems...I dunno, a little egocentric perhaps? As in, everything's all about yourself? But maybe I'm reading into it too much?

Well.. one of the ongoing tasks of "being a warrior" is to try to eradicate self-importance.. the ego.. which DJ avers is Man's greatest enemy, responsible for all the problems that we humans have. We hear something we don't like, we get "offended".. we lose our tempers etc etc.

It's just occurred to me that you probably won't know who "DJ" is.. DJ is short for Don Juan, who was CC's benefactor. (I hesitate to use the word "teacher").

Originally Posted by Naiya

There's just something about it that irks me that way and I can't figure out what the deal is.

Okay. Pure hypothesis: perhaps it's because his ideas threaten your own personal status quo? Your own ethos/credo?

Originally Posted by Naiya

Like...what's the main "goal"?

Heh. The million dollar question. Without going into too much detail, the goal is to keep one's awareness intact after the death of the physical body: to transcend the physical and retain one's awareness after death..

..but..

DJ avers that the only way that that is possible is by breaking out of the sphere of control of the creator being, who they call variously "The Eagle" or "The Tyrant". He avers that the reason for life is solely to "feed the Eagle's awareness".. that, when we die, this creator being devours our energy, lock, stock and barrel, and we die with no afterlife, unless we successfully perform certain rituals whilst alive. Then, and only then, the Eagle will let us pass into a new sphere outside of His control, and we continue to exist.

Originally Posted by Naiya

What are the most important things in life and spirituality according to him? Is it truth/wisdom, is it becoming the perfect warrior, is it salvation, is it love, ect.?

The most important thing in life is to "perfect the energy body", according to DJ. As for "spirituality", they all hated the idea.

Hmmm.. maybe "hate" is the wrong verb. Maybe I should have written that they all avoided "spirituality" and "spiritual people" like the plague. To them, it's just another form of egocentric indulgence.

As far as CC's later-life actions go, it would appear that the most important thing to him was to have sex with different women.. a sybaritic lifestyle.. but then he was just a "crappy human being", like we all are, so I can't blame him IF that is true.

Originally Posted by juroara

well, I just read the art of dreaming and I can't for the life of me figure out why so many people hold it up as the lucid dreaming book. or even why the back of the book claims the book holds universal peace

It's well-respected by some because it gives specific instructions on what to do (and why) in LDing. Some of those who have actually tried it (and that's very few IMO) report that the guy had it spot-on. There are even those who tried the "looking at one's hands" RC after this info was first published in the late 60s/early 70s (some 20-odd years before the publication of TAOD) and went on to report the early "Gates of Dreaming" years before CC ever wrote about them. So.. how does that happen?

As for the blurb on the back of your copy, it sounds like a "spiritual" person's comment.

Originally Posted by juroara

the entire book was more like "how to not get fucked by the devil". all he does is talk about these inorganics who seem hell bent on ensnaring our souls if we lucid dream for all eternity in a spongy world with nothing but....living tunnels? and then, not only do you have to avoid being trapped by them *FOR ALL ETERNITY*, but also have to figure out how to use them.

If you mean all the warnings about the dangers of LDing, then I agree. It can be construed as being "dark", although I have to say that I didn't get that impression myself.

Originally Posted by juroara

sure, there were bits and pieces that reminded me of tibetan dream yoga. but mostly, the entire book was fear based. live off of fear, and fear every moment of your life, THE INORGANICS WILL GET YOU.

Yes, a lot of it was about CC's battle with fear, which is "The first enemy of a man of knowledge".. the first hurdle to be surmounted.

Originally Posted by juroara

like the pathetic deaf defier..

Heh! The "deaf defier".. You mean the "Death Defier".. but I quite like "Deaf Defier".. heh..

Pardon?

Originally Posted by juroara

ENLIGHTENED BEINGS DON'T LIVE IN FEAR!!

Well, I would hope not.. but whoever said that CC was "enlightened"? He certainly never did.. and many belief systems across the world mention fear as an initial obstacle on the way to "enlightenment", (whatever that is).

Originally Posted by juroara

this tells me that the path is not enlightened and is more of 'witchcraft'. how to control other entities..

No, I disagree. It's got nothing to do with controlling other entities. You're missing the point. It's all about learning self-control, which will help you to survive the inevitable onslaught that will assail you on the path.

Originally Posted by juroara

rather than universal love, peace..

Sheesh. "Spirituality" rears its ugly head again.

Originally Posted by juroara

and overcoming the human ego.

You've completely missed the point. One of the tenets of this so-called "Toltecism" IS to overcome the ego. This idea is replete throughout the CC books.

Originally Posted by juroara

I'll stick to the tibetan dream yoga, which is more enlightening and mind blowing anyways

I completely disagree, but that's just my opinion.

All the best to you.

Originally Posted by juroara

sure, there were bits and pieces that reminded me of tibetan dream yoga. but mostly, the entire book was fear based. live off of fear, and fear every moment of your life, THE INORGANICS WILL GET YOU. like the pathetic deaf defier, living centuries in fear of these beings every moment. ENLIGHTENED BEINGS DON'T LIVE IN FEAR!!

this tells me that the path is not enlightened and is more of 'witchcraft'. how to control other entities. rather than universal love, peace, and overcoming the human ego.

On the one hand, I have to agree that running around in other planes of existence isn't entirely safe. Not every being you encounter has your best interest in mind.

But yeah...I hope that it doesn't go into the extreme of telling you to live in fear of manipulation and destruction. There should be more of a goal to our existence than merely survival, imo.

Originally Posted by Oneiro

He means by you yourself, and IMO he's right.

I'm sorry you feel that way. The reason it bothers me is, from what I'm studied about sociopaths, that is one of the red flags...yeah it's true that people whine too much when they should just act. But if he really thinks you can easily cut any person out of your life and feel nothing, then that's a serious problem.

I meant egocentric as in "my life is about me and only me." I don't really see much about, I dunno...helping other people...love...trying to make the world a better place; things that most spiritualists or religions (I know you don't like me calling DJ that but it's still a religious or spiritual philosophy no matter how you look at it, sorry).

I feel that there's a lack of what I think is most important in life in his philosophy from what I'm reading so far. Is that fair? Salvation of the consciousness is a good goal to be sure, and one that many paths are geared towards.

As for his ideas threatening my staus quo...I doubt that, other than the lack of ideas of love. Unlike most people, I don't see the spirit world as a carbon copy of heaven, so I agree with the guy on a few things. I'm just questioning some of the other things. Questioning is good, isn't it?

It's supposed to have nothing do do with spirituality, and the guy isn't enlightened...that kinda comes off as a cop-out, doesn't it? I mean it sounds just like any other spiritual philosophy I've ever read about, and the author claims to know how things work, so how is it different (aside from being removed from love blah blah blah)? What am I supposed to call it?

I've been reading through the string and there's some great thoughts and ideas in here. Some really BAD ones too along with some misinterpretations and misinformation.

I am a Student of the Nagual and have been for some time. My own teacher was taught directly by Carlos Castaneda and is a contemporary of don Miguel Ruiz.

I like don Miguel Ruiz's writings much better than Castaneda's. They always felt more "accessible" to me. I noted that others have struggled with Castaneda's vocabulary. Me too.

Of all the posters in this thread, oneironaut seems to have the greatest grasp of the philosophies and directions of the Toltec Path of the Warrior.

Impeccability above all. Honor, Respect, Humility, Perseverance, Love, Sacrifice, Truth, Compassion, Bravery, Fortitude, Generosity and Wisdom; these are the attributes of a Warrior. These are the traits that make up a Person of Wisdom.

Whatever else you practice; whatever spiritual Path you follow, these are the things that make one a Warrior.

One note of caution; when reading Castaneda, do not assume that he uses different words for the same thing. This is not the case. An Ally is different than a Benefactor is different than a Spirit, and don Juan Mattus was NOT Carlos Castaneda's Benefactor. A "Benefactor" is a Spiritual Being whose purpose is to direct you to your original purpose and protect you while you get there. They have a direct line to the Nagual and are supremely powerful as far as you are concerned - don Juan was a Sorcerer, not a Benefactor.

Originally Posted by Naiya

On the one hand, I have to agree that running around in other planes of existence isn't entirely safe. Not every being you encounter has your best interest in mind.

But yeah...I hope that it doesn't go into the extreme of telling you to live in fear of manipulation and destruction.

No, it doesn't. Yet.. one of the overt messages that comes over is to always exercise extreme caution when dealing with any aspect of the path, but particularly with the "2nd Attention", of which Toltec-style LDing is a part.

But it is stressed that you must learn not to succomb to fear.. you must learn to suppress it.

Originally Posted by Naiya

I'm sorry you feel that way. The reason it bothers me is, from what I'm studied about sociopaths, that is one of the red flags...yeah it's true that people whine too much when they should just act. But if he really thinks you can easily cut any person out of your life and feel nothing, then that's a serious problem.

I don't understand. Why is that a problem?

Originally Posted by Naiya

I meant egocentric as in "my life is about me and only me." I don't really see much about, I dunno...helping other people...love...trying to make the world a better place..

Well.. throughout CC's books, there are many examples of such things.. but.. there is always (or should be) an energetic reason for doing everything. A warrior is supposed to consider carefully his acts, and not to do anything that would be wasteful in an energetic sense: this is termed "Impeccability", the parsimonious scrimping and saving of one's personal energy. So.. one can be alternately kind and then ruthless, as long as in doing such acts, one is "impeccable". Just to add, a warrior would never be cruel.. ruthless, yes, like I wrote, but never cruel.

Originally Posted by Naiya

It's supposed to have nothing do do with spirituality, and the guy isn't enlightened...that kinda comes off as a cop-out, doesn't it?

Again, I don't understand. Why is that a cop-out?

Originally Posted by Naiya

I mean it sounds just like any other spiritual philosophy I've ever read about..

Naiya.. it certainly isn't anything like "other spiritual philosophy" whatsoever. If you were to read the whole CC story, I am sure that you would concur with that.

Originally Posted by Naiya

and the author claims to know how things work,

Well.. actually, I would never say that CC claimed to know how things work.. what he did was to report what DJ explained about the world, the way that things work according to DJ... but "how" they work? Not really..

Originally Posted by Naiya

so how is it different (aside from being removed from love blah blah blah)?

Naiya.. you'll have to read the books for yourself. I can't answer that question in a few short words.. but different it most certainly is.

Originally Posted by Naiya

What am I supposed to call it?

You mean the CC/DJ/Toltec belief system? They too had some problems with nomenclature. They weren't 100% happy with any of the names they used. At the time of CC's writing, they had settled on the term "sorcery", (from the spanish "brujeria"), but knew that it wasn't the "perfect" name, having, as it does, overtones of black magic, which should be far removed from what a Nuevo Vidente does... but "sorcery" it became.

All the best.

Originally Posted by saxonharp

Impeccability above all. Honor, Respect, Humility, Perseverance, Love, Sacrifice, Truth, Compassion, Bravery, Fortitude, Generosity and Wisdom; these are the attributes of a Warrior. These are the traits that make up a Person of Wisdom.

Hmmmm. "Person of Wisdom"? (Capitalised).

Is this Ruiz's alternate name for "Man of Knowledge"?

Because, if so, it's not what DJ (allegedly) told CC. As I understand it, you first become a "warrior", but you only become a "Man of Knowledge" when you learn to be able to move your assemblage point under your own volition.

Does Ruiz have a take on this?

Originally Posted by saxonharp

and don Juan Mattus was NOT Carlos Castaneda's Benefactor.

Huh? All the Naguals of the DJ/CC lineage were always described as their apprentices' benefactors.

I don't understand your comment here.

Originally Posted by saxonharp

A "Benefactor" is a Spiritual Being whose purpose is to direct you to your original purpose and protect you while you get there.

Is this from Ruiz?

..and..

What is a "spiritual being"? Is this a Ruizism for "Inorganic Being"?

Originally Posted by saxonharp

don Juan was a Sorcerer, not a Benefactor.

I don't understand this comment.

He was a sorceror Nagual, with a group of apprentices. Such people are always described as their apprentices' benefactors in CC books. It's a fairly common term used by CC.

Anyways..

Originally Posted by Oneiro

A warrior is supposed to consider carefully his acts, and not to do anything that would be wasteful in an energetic sense: this is termed "Impeccability", the parsimonious scrimping and saving of one's personal energy.

Sorry. REALLY have to disagree with this statement. And don Miguel Ruiz disagrees as well:
"Impeccability means 'without sin'.... Religions talk about sin and sinners, but let's look at what it really means to sin. A sin is anything that you do which goes against yourself. ... When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.

Being impeccable has only ancilliary connection to the energy we use, it is certainly NOT "...the parsimonius scrimping and saving of one's energy." Being impeccable means ALWAYS doing the right thing; the right thing by yourself as well as others. Impeccability means NEVER doing something intentionally that you would apologize to someone for.

You cannot be ruthless and be impeccable. If you are ruthless with someone, you generate hate and anger in that person. That hate and anger is energy that is directed against you. Therefore, you are creating a negative force against not only others, but yourself as well. This is the antithesis of impeccable.

I believe that you are confusing Impeccable with "Authentic". One can certainly be authentic and be ruthless, but the two are in no way the same.

Originally Posted by saxonharp

Sorry. REALLY have to disagree with this statement. And don Miguel Ruiz disagrees as well:
"Impeccability means 'without sin'...."

Don't apologise..

That is the western dictionary definition of the word... which has nothing whatsoever to do with the DJ definition of what he termed "Impeccability".

If you're confused, I suggest you go back and reread CC. DJ's "impeccability" IS the scrimping and saving of one's personal energy.. an impeccable act in the CC sense has nothing whatsoever to do with your posted definition. It's all about saving "energy".

Originally Posted by saxonharp

Being impeccable has only ancilliary connection to the energy we use, it is certainly NOT "...the parsimonius scrimping and saving of one's energy."

Well.. I'm just paraphrasing CC. That's what he wrote about it.

Originally Posted by saxonharp

Being impeccable means ALWAYS doing the right thing;

No it doesn't.. not in the way that you mean. It means not wasting energy, according to DJ.

Originally Posted by saxonharp

Impeccability means NEVER doing something intentionally that you would apologize to someone for.

You're talking in the western dictionary definition sense.. definitely not in the DJ sense.

Originally Posted by saxonharp

You cannot be ruthless and be impeccable.

I disagree. I would say of course you can.. but then I have a different understanding of the term than you.

Originally Posted by saxonharp

If you are ruthless with someone, you generate hate and anger in that person.

Now come on. DJ was, at times, completely ruthless with CC.. and CC's ultimate reaction? Absolute adoration and thanks to his benefactor for so being.

DJ's benefactor was also completely ruthless with DJ. DJ's ultimate reaction? Absolute adoration and thanks to his benefactor for so being.

DJ also did one ruthless act with Taisha Abelar. Her ultimate reaction? Absolute adoration and thanks for so doing.

You also seem to have forgotten "The 4 Principles of Stalking" of which ruthlessness is the 4th.

You want more examples? CC has plenty more.

Originally Posted by saxonharp

I believe that you are confusing Impeccable with "Authentic". One can certainly be authentic and be ruthless, but the two are in no way the same.

Don't listen to the voices in your head that tell you things. It's that that leads to confusion..

Because it appears to me that it's not me who is the confused one.

Saxonharp.. may I ask you a personal question? Please feel free not to reply if you don't want to..

Did you volunteer?

Volunteer for what?

DJ: "We aren't going to do anything. That is, you and I will only be the witnesses. Your benefactor is Genaro."
I thought I had misunderstood him in my eagerness to take notes. At the beginning stages of my apprenticeship, don Juan himself had introduced the term "benefactor." My impression had always been that he himself was my benefactor.
Don Juan had stopped talking and was staring at me. I made a quick assessment and my conclusion was that he must have meant that don Genaro was something like the star performer on that occasion. Don Juan giggled, as if he were reading my thoughts. "Genaro is your benefactor," he repeated. "But you are, aren't you?" I asked in a frantic tone.
"I'm the one who helped you sweep the island of the tonal" he said. "Genaro has two apprentices, Pablito and Nestor. He is helping them sweep the island; but I will show them the nagual. I will be their benefactor. Genaro is only their teacher. In these matters one can either talk or act; one cannot do both with the same person. One either takes the island of the tonal or one takes the nagual. In your case my duty has been to work with your tonal.''

V.

Originally Posted by Oneiro

But it is stressed that you must learn not to succomb to fear.. you must learn to suppress it.

Fair enough.

Originally Posted by Oneiro

I don't understand. Why is that a problem?

Well, if someone really believed that, it would probably mean that they're a sociopath, since the emotional ties they had to other human beings would have been shallow. That's why it turns me off.

Originally Posted by Oneiro

Again, I don't understand. Why is that a cop-out?

On the one hand, he goes "this how the world is," but at the same time, you're saying that it's not spirituality in any sense? I mean...it's a view of how the universe works (religion is a belief that all things are connected), and spirituality...doesn't it deal with spirits? I'm still not clear on that. Does he want his readers to believe that his view/beliefs/whatever is real/true/whatever, or not? If he does, then he's making a "claim" that he knows how things work and he knows a "right" path and how to get to it. The views might be very different from other stuff, but the structure sounds the same to me.

Originally Posted by Oneiro

Naiya.. you'll have to read the books for yourself. I can't answer that question in a few short words.. but different it most certainly is.

I agree. I think I may just do that. Some of it sounds iffy but I think it's worth a look.

Naiya, I think you should trust your gut on this one and not waste your time. I've read some Castaneda here and there over the years, and been turned off by it also. Mostly for the same reasons you already mentioned. It is plastic shamanism at its worst.

If you need more reason to avoid it, just do a general internet search on "Castaneda hoax" "Castaneda fiction" or "Richard Jennings". There are a lot of people out there who hate him.

I wonder how one would go about finding a real shaman to study under.

Originally Posted by Neeros

I wonder how one would go about finding a real shaman to study under.

Go to where the Shamen are and ask to be taught. Maybe they will and maybe they won't. But you don't know until you ask. That's what I did.

Originally Posted by saxonharp

Go to where the Shamen are and ask to be taught. Maybe they will and maybe they won't. But you don't know until you ask. That's what I did.

That seems like the best way but I have no clue where to go to find shamans.

Originally Posted by Neeros

That seems like the best way but I have no clue where to go to find shamans.

Then that would be your first task wouldn't it?

Sorry for bumping this old thread, but it has been a great read. I felt that a few things have yet to be worked out here. Now I am no expert on Toltec Sorcery as a system, but I can relate from personal experience to some of the stuff spoken of here.

Firstly, many of us have preconceived notions of what "spirituality" means. Religions are belief systems, with morals, etc.... Sorcery is a path or a technique to achieve control of the energy body. Science is also a technique or method and is not concerned with morals. Many eastern religions speak of enlightenment, but this is not a concept that is shared with all cultures. Many so-called "enlightened" people do not have full control of their energy bodies. It is easy to speak of peace and love, but the battle with the self to achieve impeccability is anything but peaceful and lovely. One must be ruthless with oneself if one is to get over one's self importance. This requires energy and a dedicated effort of will and most often the help of a benefactor or an ally. These concepts may seem alien or impersonal to someone familiar with the Eastern teachings. But remember this: the Eastern teachings like Buddhism also seem alien and impersonal to many people who don't understand them. They might think that Buddhism says that "Nothing is real, nothing matters, everything is suffering, the only way out is to become one with nothingness." This is a misunderstanding of Buddhism, it is not the Buddha's fault or lack of insight into reality. The teachings to be ruthless with yourself and others who are on the path of self knowledge is necessary because there are obstacles that have to be dealt with. It is not a search for power for power's sake, it is not to be cruel or emotionless, but dedicated. Sorcerers are nice people, authentic ones anyway, but they are not nice to injustice, self-importance, lies, etc...

Another point I would like to make is that Carlos was not entirely honest, and he did misrepresent the teachings. He did give in to self importance and he didn't have a thorough understanding of what he was talking about. He was ultimately destroyed because of this, and he didn't complete his mission. The problems some may have with Carlos is not to be mistaken for problems with Toltec Sorcery.

To say that Buddhism is more enlightened than Toltec sorcery is to use a Buddhist concept to judge Toltec sorcery. Just because a method doesn't use the concept of enlightenment doesn't mean that it is less than a method that does. Sorcery definitely travels over just as much terrain.

If we have personal problems with a teaching, but are curious to understand it more, then perhaps we can synthesize it with something we prefer. For example: if you like Buddhism, and are curious about sorcery, remember that Tibetan Buddhism is a synthesis of Tibetan Bon sorcery and the teachings of the Buddha. Just because you don't see the peace and love and enlightenment in the Toltec sorcery doesn't mean you have to give all that up to pursue sorcery. Just add the 4 noble truths and the 8fold path to sorcery. This will be seen as redundant by sorcerers, but if it is who you are then it is impeccable.

Another point: enlightenment doesn't mean that you know how the world works. If anything, a sorcerer would know more about how the world works. Or a scientist. I would ask an enlightened person how to be happy, how to heal karmaic anguish in my heart, how to make peace with death, how to be free, etc.... And they would tell me to meditate and maybe chant. Any method that they would give me that works would be sorcery. But most "enlightened" people seem impotent as far as helping other people. Except for rare ones like the Buddha, or Padmasambhava, etc in history. It is more like a cult of personality, and there are always skeletons in the closet.

Many "enlightened" people are actually sorcerers. We think of sorcerers as people who do witchcraft or spells but a true sorcerer's ambition is just as great as a soon-to-be Buddha.

Originally Posted by saxonharp

Sorry. REALLY have to disagree with this statement. And don Miguel Ruiz disagrees as well:
"Impeccability means 'without sin'.... Religions talk about sin and sinners, but let's look at what it really means to sin. A sin is anything that you do which goes against yourself. ... When you are impeccable, you take responsibility for your actions, but you do not judge or blame yourself.

Being impeccable has only ancilliary connection to the energy we use, it is certainly NOT "...the parsimonius scrimping and saving of one's energy." Being impeccable means ALWAYS doing the right thing; the right thing by yourself as well as others. Impeccability means NEVER doing something intentionally that you would apologize to someone for.

You cannot be ruthless and be impeccable. If you are ruthless with someone, you generate hate and anger in that person. That hate and anger is energy that is directed against you. Therefore, you are creating a negative force against not only others, but yourself as well. This is the antithesis of impeccable.

I believe that you are confusing Impeccable with "Authentic". One can certainly be authentic and be ruthless, but the two are in no way the same.

This thread is pretty epic. I want to read over it. So, what I've realized recently is well, for a a long time I had many thoughts of hate towards myself and my situation in life. These thoughts manifested as emotions. these emotions built up throughout my lifetime into all this pain. I started to realize that my own thought were causing me suffering. I began to quiet my mind. it took a long time and was a gnarly process but pretty much I don't create thoughts anymore unconsciously. I listen to my emotions. But then there is all this gnarly feelings of pain in my heart. I didn't even understand where these feelings came from, then I realized all these feelings came from my own negative thoughts earlier in my life. I wanted healing but I felt hopeless because I felt the only way way to get healing from someone else through love. Now I want to heal myself though, which is much harder but I really don't want o depend on anybody for healing. A couple nights ago though I was brought to a dream world, in an ancient looking city with red buildings where a man with long dread lockes casted a spell on my telling me that over the next week large amounts of dark energy would be released from me, then after that whatever was left I would have to heal myself through meditation or find someone else to heal me. So ya, my intentions are to heal now. I want to end my suffering.

This is a nice thread. Basically i agree with what Dannon Oneironaut says even though i have a different understanding/view on Castaneda's books. I dont want to comment on them cos i like them even though some of it is fiction. But this doesnt matter.

But i would like to comment on Saltyseedog's post. Yeeah that, the self-healing of internal wounds, was bothering my mind for a while as well. No one can fill in the whole inside out hearts. That is our task. We have to learn to love ourselves as we are and to realize that we make our world. I had/have really difficult time realizing that but lately i see evidence that is true and i feel happy cos i see and the changes happening inside of me. There is a song by Megadeath "A tout le mond" where it says:
"Don't remember where I was
I realized life was a game
The more seriously I took things
The harder the rules became..."

It speaks for itself. So lately i am trying to learn to be more happy by myself and smile and have fun with life. And the life provides me with more fun and the communication with people is getting better. And i feel better. Becoming happier person then i was. I also try to learn how not to get attached and just follow the signs of life, take actions and their consequences. It seems that im getting detached from the world but in fact i am connecting more. It is a bit like smoking MJ. I mean that. People tell me that smoking is just running away from reality but for me is not. It is removing me for a while from the reality as we know it in normal state of mind. But because under MJ i see it in a different way after when im sober i love it even more.
I dunno if i made myself clear if not please tell.

Originally Posted by saltyseedog

This thread is pretty epic. I want to read over it. So, what I've realized recently is well, for a a long time I had many thoughts of hate towards myself and my situation in life. These thoughts manifested as emotions. these emotions built up throughout my lifetime into all this pain. I started to realize that my own thought were causing me suffering. I began to quiet my mind. it took a long time and was a gnarly process but pretty much I don't create thoughts anymore unconsciously. I listen to my emotions. But then there is all this gnarly feelings of pain in my heart. I didn't even understand where these feelings came from, then I realized all these feelings came from my own negative thoughts earlier in my life. I wanted healing but I felt hopeless because I felt the only way way to get healing from someone else through love. Now I want to heal myself though, which is much harder but I really don't want o depend on anybody for healing. A couple nights ago though I was brought to a dream world, in an ancient looking city with red buildings where a man with long dread lockes casted a spell on my telling me that over the next week large amounts of dark energy would be released from me, then after that whatever was left I would have to heal myself through meditation or find someone else to heal me. So ya, my intentions are to heal now. I want to end my suffering.

To heal yourself, you must love yourself. To love yourself, you must have compassion on yourself.

Suffering is hell. Hell is suffering. We will always suffer. We are always in Hell. But, we are also always in Heaven. Alter your perception, change your world. Be grateful for the small things, and let the dark energy flow through you, for it is part of all.

I have been there.

Sounds like you met a cool fucker in your dream.

***

As far as Castaneda's books... Well, I met don Juan on the Dream Plane after reading 1 1/2 of Castaneda's books. And that is why I don't read them anymore.