NyxCC

Jan 23

I find myself in my childhood school yard with high awareness. The scene is quite dark, but I nevertheless take the time to inspect in detail all of the dream characters that surround me. While some of them look quite ugly or even menacing, I live out the realization that all these people are just a reflection of my mind, they are all me. I spend some time happily shouting this and engaging the DCs.

A bit later, I recall I was planning to do the task of the month (basic ii). A wave of urgency hits me as I remember the month is drawing to end, and also the dream may be over quite soon too. As I walk down the street, I follow the plan in case I found myself outdoors, to look for a mirror on a nearby car.

The dream scene is quite dark, but I am still able to locate a car and move closer to examine my reflection. The image looks a bit smaller than it would in real life, so I lean even closer. I don't look quite like myself initially. The effect seems more like a dream quality issue - the image is quite distorted, although, as the mirror is slightly curved, one would actually expect it to be.

After gazing into the reflection for a while, it starts to resemble me more. My hair is a bit wavy though. Overall, the dream reflection is quite happy. I finally get to the task of making my hair longer, although this proves more challenging than expected. I try to will my hair to become longer, but dream control's not quite working. I then decide to take things into my own hands, literally, and gently pull my hair down to stretch it. This seems to do the trick and it increases in length. I enjoy the completion of the task for a brief moment, waking up shortly afterwards.

I have a short ld in between other dreams, so remember only parts of it. Once again I remember the totm and go find a mirror, this time look at the mirror but instead of myself see the reflection of the DC next to me (looking from an angle). I. Keep staring at the mirror for as long as possible and this time the face of the DC starts changing, it shifts from one DC to another DC, female to male features and vice versa. It goes on for a while, a very cool thing to watch.

Backlog: 28 Feb

On the whole had a very restless night, trouble falling asleep, followed by emotional nlds. Later got woken up and ended with insomnia.

My wakefulness increases to daily levels and I am ready to get up, seeing no point in being in bed anymore. Yet, I know how groggy I will feel later on so have one last effort to catch some sleep. I try the classical wild plus relaxation tips with the sole purpose of falling asleep at this point. There is a specific pleasant sensation in my stomach. I try not to move but have to change positions several times due slight discomfort.

Finally, a bright scene flashes in front of my eyes so I know sleep is near. I even concentrate and make another one appear, whilst still having awareness of my physical body. It's like being in two places at once. The scene is fanstastic. I find myself flying high above the sea and green lands. The water looks fantastic. I can feel my dream body flying while being in bed and as it floats and is about to flip over the scenery.

The sensation is cool but difficult to maintain and input from my physical body takes over and I find myself back.

I continue to do my best to fall asleep. I find myself in another dream looking at a mirror. I am happy to ascertain that I have made it to the dream. "I'm in", I tell myself out loud while looking at my reflection in the mirror. My reflection doesn't quite move in synch with my words so I make some efforts to synch, but not to much avail. Then I notice my breath and just feel the need to breathe as if I am having some difficulty doing so. I spend some more time breathing in and out and watching my reflection as the dream interrupts and I find myself in bed.

Asleep, some short nld part, then another dream scene on the playground.

On the playground, which bears resemblance to this real life place before it morphs. I climb onto a playground structure and look around. There are a number of DCs as well as dogs mostly immobile at this point. I slowly move my gaze from one DC to another and then from one dog to another examining them. Everytime I do so, they turn and pay attention to me to. It's like I can feel my attention as a gust of wind animating and being reflected in each DC. This is quite cool. At this moment, I also notice that there is a warmish wind that also connects all of us and is gently blowing from direction or another. It feels really pleasant.

I try to remember any tasks and recall the basic for March - find a house and get inside. I look over to the street and see an old entrance door to this building. It looks far away but I decide to give it a try despite having some doubts about dream stability at this point (due feeling). To reach it, I have to first get down from the playground thing I am on. I jump and try to slow down my fall not to cause extra instability. It works somewhat but also rotates my vision introducing slight instability. At this point a classmate comes down to help me, looking rather concerned. Her face is reddish on some places as if from mild sunburn.

I look ahead to where the street is, where I need to cross to get to the entrance gate. The place morphs and now I find myself on an elevated fence looking over the street, but the edge of the fence is out of reach due to there being trees in front and also lots of thorny shrubs. This infuriates me and I decide to cut straight through everything. I find myself in the midst of all the shrubs piercing me and causing overall pain as the twigs are everywhere. This looks super realistic and I take a moment to examine myself. It just doesn't feel right me pushing through all of this vegetation at all costs, seeing an old cardigan of mine being torn in the process and all this pain. I conclude it's against my philosophy and decide to take the side road to reach my goal.

I gently move away from the thorns that block the way and turn to the other side, which has once again changed and is now a nicely looking forest. It's a dark green vivid color and the trees are close together as not to allow any sunlight through. I notice some interesting looking plants to the side and wonder whether to investigate. Still having my goal to find an alternative road to the house though, I look around the forest. "I almost lost myself in a forest in a dream", I think. The forest now reveals an invitingly looking path that stretches all the way ahead. I examine it with curiosity and excitement, trying to see what is at the very end - looks like a castle very far away. At this point I recall CL and how it could be a good moment to zoom in right over there, but before I could do anything, the dream ends.

I stay still and deild.

Find myself inside a house and a store at the same time. There is some political scenario going on and posters on the counter in front of me. The lady DC behind the counter is unhappy with the actions of the local supermarket.

While walking around I try to recall some of the totm tasks. I wonder if having ended up in a house now would count for the basic but I discard the idea and struggle to remember other tasks. After some effort, the mirror task finally comes to mind. Ok, need to find a mirror, didn't I just pass one by? I go back to where I was a moment ago and face a man-sized mirror. It changes from being clear to being covered in vapour just like it would in the bathroom (first time this happens in a dream, probably because I am trying to do a task!). This irritates me, but I go ahead and wipe it up a bit to at least see my face clearly.

Then I stand in front of it and slowly prepare to move inside. Being a bit apprehensive due to wall phasing experiences ending up in the void, I keep my eyes open and keep staring at its surface as I take a plunge in. The moment I do so, the mirror swallows me letting out a loud underwater like sound "Blop". It's pure liquid and shows no resistance. I quickly emerge on the other side, looking around to see where it has taken me. It's overly dark but I can make out the contours of objects around me and they become clearer to finally reveal that I am in a pantry sized room. It looks exactly like a pantry with shelves and all sorts of objects being stored around. I make a mental note of it, soon the dream fades.

Date: 03 Jan

Late bed and ealy wake, no time to wbtb

I find myself in a large room, looks like a mix between a shop and a bar. My awareness gradually goes up and I know I'm dreaming. I recall the task with the crystal ball and head over to the guy behind the counter. There are a few crystal balls that look like empty snow globes, but they are in the distance so I have to walk around a labyrinth of counters. I tell the DC working there to bring me the crystal ball, so that I don't have to maneuver myself all the way there. He is very uncooperative and refuses to do so. By the time I reach the counter those particular crystal balls pop out of existence.

The dream becomes very dynamic, I almost lose all lucidity while some DCs next to me fight over which cakes they want to eat. There are a number of delicious cakes everyone wants to try. I get hold of one very tasty and start eating with my hands. I contemplate on that and my awareness goes up again, after all it's a dream, so I'm free to eat any way I want. I remember the crystall ball task again, this time the (same?) DC leaves a large crystal sphere next to me and I examine it. It's a very beautiful crystal ball with no stand, and little lines and cracks in star-like shapes can be seen inside. I make a mental note about those, then proceed to see the future. I look inside but it doesn't show anything, just becomes a little blurry. I decide to cover it with my hands, concentrate and then reveal it again.

On and beyond the blurry surface, some objects become slightly more visible. I am still unable to fully understand what exactly it is showing but now it's almost as good as becoming part of another scene, while still being here in the bar/shop. Finally, I see a number of objects neatly arranged, like they are put on sale, on a sunny bright day on the street. Pretty much what I make out of the scene is that it shows some kind of a street stand with souvenirs or so. The zooming in almost transports me to the scene, but not quite. I interrupt the action and stop to contemplate on it for a while and review the task.

Frag: Another later part of the dream/other dream where I once again think about completing the task and not doing a wbtb, and about using this techique as a teleport.

Also, looking at my image in a mirror, dream ends soon after.

Date: 28 June

Both of us had indigestion that led to early wake and insomnia. After a long time of discomfort, I finally fall asleep for a bit.

Funny HI: there was this really strange crazy camel monkey face that was shaved like Hulk Hogan.

LD: Don't quite remember the beginning of the dream, but in the earliest part I find myself on the floor in the same position I was sleeping, topless and staring into a mirror. My torso is that of a ripped man though and I marvel the amount of muscle on the abs.

As I focus on the abs, they slowly turn into the image of a fortress as my mind zooms in and transforms the scene. Here I have awareness that this is a dream, but no spike in awareness or aha moment. The castle turns into the doors of a fortress and I mentally open them. It looks much like playing a game now and I feel excited, move forward as if playing an rpg game and not moving bodily initially. The doors reveal a tunnel that splits in two sections. I am bodily present now and decide to take the right fork and enter a room. There is an ancient chest inside. This is so exciting, I'm thinking, my awareness gradually going up. I open the chest where there are two pieces of a broken Persian tablet. Lots of false memories come with the stuff - you have to gather the pieces, which fit by some sort of magnetic attraction. Two pieces are missing and I examine the rest of the chest although I know they have to be in the other room.

At this point, the DC of this person from real life comes. She hasn't featured in many lds, but is usually an irritating DC in non-lds. Now she begins to mess with the chest and stuff and I totally dislike her being around. I try to get her to leave, telling her she has no place here and that this is my dream. She doesn't like it and produces a knife and after a bit of struggle stabs me with it. If I'm not mistaken it's in my palm. This is outrageous, and I decide to use the lucid dreamer's weapon "You are not real, the pain doesn't exist, I'm ok". She just stands there but alas I feel terrible pain. The sensation is so strong and overwhelming, I'm afraid I'm going to go into dream trance (which happened once after an intense bout of fear). Nothing against that, but I wanted to act more in the dream and now one of the effects is that everything becomes blurry and out of focus. This angers me and I tell her "See what you did, you ruined the dream".

Not quite sure what exactly happened, but I decide to move on and continue walking around and things return to normal. It's a nice apartment now that I perceive as my parents' place. There are lots of DCs here and I interact with them but don't remember all of it. Went from one room to the other and also had some sexy thoughts but then I got annoyed with myself and dropped the matter.

I go to the kitchen and see a classmate and think this is a good opportunity to talk to his DC and ask him why he behaves like he does. But by the time I reach him, his features change and it's another person. We still exchange a few words. There are about 6-7 DCs in the kitchen I interact with them. The first thing that makes an impression is that after saying something funny, they all start laughing in exactly the same manner, making the exact same movement. I make them laugh some more and then shout out loud to get their attention, they all look at me in the same way. One final attempt, I raise my hand to get their attention as if making a speech and now all of them do this at the same time. I find if weird that all of them do this and think about asking on DV.

In the living room, I do the raise your hands and shout thing again and get echo replies from the DCs again. This makes me want to have a music experience where all of them sing & shout in the same enthusiastic fashion and decide that it will be cool to play "take a look around" for this effect. Not quite sure if there was previously music playing in the background or false memories, also more false memories about me preparing the place beforehand so that you can use it as desired in an ld. In this case it is possible to leave a device with a song from real life and play it in the dream. But I didn't prepare it, so I have to improvise.

While I play the song in my mind to check if I know it correctly, I'm not confident that I will be able to fully produce it by singing so would rather rely on an external device. There's a TV nearby and I get the remote and begin searching channels for MTV. The first thing that appears on the screen once the TV turns on is a manga channel, the series they are showing is called Sensei and the whole channel is dedicated to it. I get a false memory that this channel only shows the Sensei series and the series are named after the main character. It makes sense to me now that Boss chose the name of the main character in this series. I continue changing channels, looking for MTV and shortly come across it, but the TV switches back to the Sensei channel. (It doesn't dawn to me at all that I am supposed to look for him even after seeing this! )

A bit later I decide to give up and go near the window where there is DC. We engage in a conversation but I lose my lucidity. Soon after wake up.

It's been quite a while, since I've updated here, so there we go.

Date: 13 Feb

Pre bed: 3 mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

I have a non-ld at my grandma's, then another one at an unidentified place that resembles our old place, where I'm trying to ld while family members are walking around.

Mini-LD: I have a short ld that feels like a dream from scratch where I suddenly find myself in this dream scene. I examine myself in the mirror. Memory gap.

LD:Now I am at our old place and remember to do breathing exercises. This goes on for a while until the dream collapses.

LD: I'm on the street now facing this mexican looking DC, he seems quite lively and says something that's in line with what I was thinking/saying. This leads me to initially believe that he's a smart DC. I start a conversation with him, asking him about stuff of interest.

As I talk to the DC, I start noticing that the background kind of flickers (the light in the entire scene), it gradually becomes thicker with this additional layer of light. In the meantime, it seems there is nothing to be learned from this DC as he keeps on coming up with random words.

I start paying less attention to him, continue expressing my thoughts and desires. I pay more attention to what's going on, don't analyze the situation, just witness and feel this energy. The dream layer of energy and light becomes brighter and more dense, it's like I can feel the entire field of dense energy that is over everything and there's a slight hue towards the very light blue to it. It's somewhat pleasant but I totally get the feel and worry that the dream might be coming to an end, while this is happening.

I then recall my restaurant task and look around. The street is rather deserted, just warehouses and no restaurant nearby. The energy effect gradually diminishes as I concentrate on my task. I get the feeling that it might be difficult to change things in this dream, it seems realistically stable when I look at the warehouses, but then get an idea to think about McD. I think about finding a McD around and sure enough, I see the familiar M (or something close to it) over one of the places at the warehouse.

It's closed though, I can see that it's empty and the lights are off. But no problem, I instinctively cover the place with my hand and think about it being open and working/full of people. I move my hand away and it is! I head in its direction, happy about the summon. There are large pictures of burgers all over. But wait, do I really want to eat McD in a dream? I continue inside the store, which feels like some part of mall now. There's this undetermined place that kind of looks like a supermarket section or a convenience store, whatever, it is adjusting to my thoughts/expectations as I come closer.

In the end as I reach the shelves, wondering what to pick up to eat, it becomes a sushi place. I examine the food, wondering what my subcon will come up with, trying not to influence it too much. There's delicious looking sushi with red caviar and also another box that I can't recall in detail. I grab those two and head towards the cashier. Here, I want to play around some more.

There are two female DCs working there and a number of DCs queueing to pay. I go to the counter and expect to be immediately served. They direct their attention towards me and take the boxes, giving me a slight look of discontent. I feel like I don't have any money with me, but instead of summoning them, I decide it will be more fun to pretend that I am paying and everything is fine. This is exactly what what I do - after the old Chinese lady tells me the price, I make a movement to hand her some invisible banknotes which she takes and gives me back a receipt and semi-existing sort of change (a coin or so). She also hurts me a bit with her finger nail and gives me a somewhat angry look (as if she knows what I'm doing). I take the stuff and get ready to leave but the dream fades and I find myself in bed. I briefly wait to resume, but it doesn't immediately happen, and possibly better for journaling.

Right. I am way behind with journalling. In the meantime, got mostly short lds and finally a long one today (will post separately).

Date: 1 Nov

Combo: SJW, B6, p.oil cap, latte

It's been around two months since the last time I took this combo. This time, I found the dreams before the wbtb very emotionally charged and not with pleasant emotions. It was mentally exhausting.

I do a quick wbtb and go back to bed repeating the mantras. An hour passes by where I thought I was awake but actually I was in some sort of deep sleep. Can't recall thinking or dreaming anything. I take a couple mins to concentrate on having an ld and fall asleep.

LD: From the darkness, the scene begins to form around me and I start walking briskly to allow myself to get in properly. I am on the street in some neighborhood. As I examine the surroundings, I see a chimp in the yard across the street. Cool! I remember that I was supposed to turn into a gorilla for the NY task, so having a point of reference for the transition is very welcome. My thoughts and emotions make the chimp stand on its feet and beat its chest or something like that.

The dream is kind of unstable and as I look around, I see the chimp suddenly vanish in front of my eyes. It quickly fades away to become transparent, where only the contours can be seen, then these disappear as well. I want the chimp to reappear and look in another direction. Behind the fence of a close by yard, there are now a number of bear cubs and as I am staring at them they quickly increase in numbers. The whole yard is now filled with bear cubs, maybe 15-20 of them. I look towards what I feel is the city center, hoping to see a tall building, but there are only 5- story blocks here. There's this gut feeling that I shouldn't have started changing the dream so early on as this is causing too much instability, but it's already too late. I wake up.

I do another quick and rather sloppy attempt to have an ld, but it seems that I fall into unmemorable sleep again.

4 Nov

From scratch short ld in the living room. High instability, decided to do yoga - handstand but lost the feel of my hands and dream collapsed.

5 Nov

Stable, vivid, somewhat unpleasant atmosphere. Recognized frequency of objects (toilets) as DS. Decided to leave the place by phasing through a mirror. Imagined Egypt behind and phased but ended in the void. Shortly felt warmth and some sand around but then continued floating forwards in the dark void. Minor dream paralysis (in the void) while trying to rub hands.

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Early dreamlet: A guy tells me that whenever cheese is involved he is also there?

Dream1 DILD after WBTB: Me and bf are queuing to enquire about financial help. A DC woman is behind me and she disapproves of me being there. The scene transforms and we are on some kind of platform that is taking us someplace. I see a strange theme park that reminds me of the island Pinocchio went to. We arrive at the destination, the DC woman is still behind me, I feel her body press on me, so I decide to sit on the platform’s stone steps. I look where we have arrived. This is something like a prison that a sect has, and they keep girls with strange clothes there.

I enter the place and it turns into an ordinary apartment. I look around and it feels familiar, as if I had been here before. In the first room I see a girl that is kept there and she is clearly sad about her fate. She is naked and I feel her silky skin, and then hug her to console her. She is very thin and I cannot tell her back from her front, it actually gets distorted but I think it is because she is skinny and I tell her that…I move on. There is no one in the apartment and that gives me a strange feeling. Soon I discover another room where a girl is kept. This time it is an extremely dangerous girl. I try to peek through the keyhole but there is some metal in it. Of course, the door to this dangerous girl is not locked, so she starts moving the door trying to escape, while I am trying to close the door. She is stronger than me so she manages to escape and I face her. She is outright scary, because she is a vampire. Some game-like status bar that looks like a play paper card is there. I understand that I won’t be able to fight her, so decide to flee.

I leave the apartment as fast as I can, and as I get to the stairs I run into Brendan Hines, who I recognize in the dream as a friend of mine and not the actor. I tell him we should get out of there and glide/jump on the handrails as fast as I can. We leave the building and I am on the street lucid. My first thought is that I don’t need to run away any more, but just to be on the safe side, I decide to increase the distance between me and the vampire girl, so I fly forward a bit. I am very happy that this guy (Brendan) is here and have some strange memory that this is the second time I am dreaming him? I want to use him as a partner during the lucid.

I remember 3 of the TOTM (although I decided yesterday to do only two this month), and have a great clarity of mind. This worries me because I feel that this is end of the REM and I am going to wake up soon, so I go to do the tasks. I approach Brendan, but he has transformed into some ugly older dude, who is being engaged by two other DCs on a bench. That irritates me and I try to get his attention, with little success. I notice a small puddle on the floor and decide to look at my image there. At the same time, while walking towards the puddle I consider if I should take my clothes off, and I stretch my T-shirt a bit. I think that not being able to see for a while will disconnect me from the dream, so I abandon the task and concentrate on my image in the water. I am pleasantly surprised to see that it is actually me there, looking quite nice, and smiling. Normal clothes and hair. It seems that I am talking as I am thinking this because as I do, I see the image’s mouth move exactly in accordance with my thoughts/words. I find this fascinating, but soon I feel my real lips moving and I am back in my bed.

I am on my right side, eyes closed and decide to risk and go for a DEILD. I wait quite a while and nothing happens, I am quite awake so decide to go to the restroom and take some key notes. I then go back with the intention of falling asleep and having another lucid. (Yes, that greed!)

As is usually the case with me, this doesn’t work too well, so I spend about 50 mins doing all kinds of stuff trying to fall asleep. I got very sceptical about having another ld towards the end of this insomnia chunk and began contemplating whether I should get up and do something more productive, but I finally fell asleep.

Dreamlet: some plant leaves

Dream2 DILD: I am in what initially looks like my parents place and there is a rat-like creature on the floor. It is white, and has no eyes, so a bit creepy. It later becomes three smaller creatures. There was some kind of story about these but it is hard to remember. We also own some creature in my mind a horse, but then a dog/creature steals our horse and runs down the building. This is my grandma’s place for a while. I chase the dog to get back whatever is ours, which turns into my new handbag from real life.

This person/entity goes down some stairs which lead into the underworld. It is scary. The underworld entrance is a subway station, where the escalators don’t work, so there is no turning back. I consider checking whether the elevator works but enter in a restroom instead. There are two people making out there, I chase them away. I look in front of me, and become lucid.

Once again my brain is working full power. There is a mirror just in front of me, so I take advantage of the opportunity and check my appearance. My hair is a bit darker and my image makes grimaces. I think that I don’t want to be stuck here too long to avoid waking up, so I leave the restroom. The station is still there, and I want to talk gibberish to a DC, so I turn to a DC guy and say the sentence “I am talking gibberish”, but muffle the sound so it becomes something like “Mmm tokah gee-ummmsh” and look for his reaction. He doesn’t seem to understand what I am saying and I am disappointed with his reaction, so I repeat it two more times. He shyly smiles and looks away. Ah, he’s shy, I conclude, satisfied with the result.

Then I decide to go with the next task, get naked. I look around and proudly announce to the surrounding DCs “I am going to get naked!” and watch faces of dismay. I concentrate on taking my clothes off, but it seems I have two layers, one fitting really tight. As I struggle to take them off, the dream fades away and I am back in bed, left side this time.