Visions in the Dark

This is the second dream I had on April 29th, 2010.


Dream starts off with me and my friend Becky atop a mountain at night. It is night time and we are in a desolate mountain range as there are only forest covered mountains on either side of us as far as the eye can see in all directions. The full moon is our only illumination. There is an old Victorian style mansion halfway down the mountain so we walk there. Despite the remote location, the mansion is a popular destination for touists and the place is full of people. People come and go in and out of the building almost nonstop even though it is the middle of the night. The thing is though, that the sign advertising the mansion is considered cursed and no one will touch the fallen lettering on the outside of the building, even though everyone wants to see it restored. I think belief in curses is ridiculous so I go over and rehang the fallen lettering. Everyone, including my friend, now believes that I am now somehow cursed and will not come near me. In fact I am forced to leave by being chased off the property and have to wander the mountains alone.

The dream kind of changes. My physical appearance changes to that of a young man dressed in primitive animal furskins rags and though I am still in the vast mountain range in which this dream started, my friend and the mansion (and all the other people) have disappeared and I am in the post-apocalyptic world that the first dream took place in - except it is a few hundred years later and things have gotten so bad that humans have reverted into primitive warring tribes living off the land. I wander through the vast mountain for ages, hungry and alone until I come across a small tribe of people living in some caves on the side of a particularily steep mountain. They are initially suspicious of me and keep my at bay until I convince them that I am unarmed, lost and hungry. I find out by chatting to a few people that the tribe are Goddess worshippers who have exiled themselves from the rest of the world so that they could practice their faith in peace since most of the other tribes still ascribe to the "archaic" patriarchal Abrahamic religions and still violently war with each other because of it. The chief of this tribe, an elderly lady who looks as old as the mountains themselves, tells me that they have revived the Goddess religion of human pre-history because the fighting between the warlike patriarchal religions are why civillization collapsed and brought about the apocalypse in the first place. They live on the seculded mountain range to avoid persecution.

After talking to the chieftess I am welcomed to stay with the tribe and encouraged to participate in a competition of strength and skill between the men. The winner will be hailed as the Protector Hero of the tribe and be rewarded with the responsibilty of guarding the tribe's safety, which is a huge honour for them. I protest at first because even though my dream character has changed into someone other than the me of reality, I still think I am female even though I now have a male body. The tribe tease me for as a man it is appalling to them that I back down from a challange, but I have no idea how to explain to them that I have a girl spirit inside my male body. Someone suggests that I am a good candidate for Protector Hero because of my modesty (which is very Goddess-like) and every tribesperson seems to agree except for two. Amidst the men of the tribe a young, muscular man appears and challenges the tribe's eagerness to bless me without the trials of the competition. He seems a few years my elder, but is extremely handsome and my girlspirit instantly develops a crush on him. The other man is a shaman of the tribe who also happens to be the uncle of the challenger. I agree that it is not fair for any titles to be bestowed without testing the strength and skill of all competitors and insist that I am not participating in the challange anyway. The men scoff and say that I cannot refuse as it is the way of their tribe and as a new member I have no choice to comply lest I be expelled to survive on my own. The young man tells me his name is Atka and we set off immediately for the first challenge which is a deer hunt in a nearby forested valley.

Every man is successful in catching a deer for the tribe to eat except me, partly because I have no idea how to hunt with a bow and arrow and the deer I was about to shoot at is quickly shot first by Atka who was hiding in some nearby bushes. I stalk another deer but it too is claimed by quick and hidden Atka. I score a deer finally but I am not strong enough to carry it over my shoulder like all the other men and have to abandon it where it lay. Atka, carrying a deer over each shoulder, jeers at me. He considers me an intruder and a rival - for he was the favoured candidate to become the next Protector Hero of the tribe until I showed up. I am determined to win the next part of the challenge, just so he'll notice me in a good way because my girlspirit is still going gaga over him. I am the only one to return to the camp without a deer. After we have eaten and night has fallen I am sitting alone by the fire, unable to sleep, when Atka's shaman uncle approaches me and tempts me with magical gifts that would supposedly assist me in winning the competition. When I refuse the magical gifts (because the dubious and suspicious offer is way too obviously a trick) he then offers to make the most beautiful woman in the tribe fall in love with me if I throw the challenge. When I too refuse that he becomes enraged and summons some shadowy spirits from the surrounding forest to attack me. I grab my bow and shoot at the shadows, but they are hard to see in the flickering light of the dying fire, and being noncorporal spirits, the arrows go right through them (though somehow they are able to hurt me). I begin shooting arrows in a panic in all directions and the shadowy spirits suddenly retreat as one of my frantic shots strikes the shaman in the chest. He howls in pain then quickly retreats into the night. I am afraid that I will be driven from the tribe for injuring one of their reveared shamans, (and be forever hated by the heartthrob Atka for hurting his uncle) but no one emerges from the caves to investigate the ruckus.

The next challenge occurs the next day at dawn. The remaining shamans of the group (Atka's uncle is no where to be found, but equally no one save Atka seems to miss him and I am still too scared of being driven from the tribe to confess the events of the night) demand that all participants perform a miraculous event saying that if we are favoured by the Goddess that nothing is impossible. One by one all of the participants fail to do anything special and are eliminated from the competition until only Atka and I are left. I am to go first so I will myself into the shape of a fish and plonk myself into a nearby stream and start swimming around. Atka tries to one up me by transforming himself into an otter, leaping into the same stream and catching me in his teeth. He surfaces and shows off to the men who appaud wildly because not only am I trapped in his mouth as a fish, but I am also trapped in the body of the fish whilst he has a hold of me and he is yet able to revert back to his human form. He tosses me around in the air a few times to make his point before throwing me back into the stream, where I am able to finally revert to normal. The men all have a good laugh at my expense. Point to Atka.

The next challange consists of Atka and I having to climb down the steep side of the mountain with no protective gear or ropes, pick a rare red flower that grows in the valley below and then returning up the mountain again. It is a race as well as a test of physical endurance. It is midday and the sun glaring down upon the bare mountain side feels like it is going to bake me alive because unlike Atka, I did not strip off my furskin top before beginning the challenge - add this to the extreme physical exertion needed to cling to the rockface I begin sweating like crazy. Though Atka is older and more muscular than I, he is under no stress whatsoever, even though I am ahead at first. Eventually my hands are sweating too much and my body too tired for me to carry on and I silently conceed defeat and start climbing back up the mountain.

As I pass Atka, he strikes out with a hearty fist and knocks my block off, and knocks me right off the block. I am pretty sure I am falling to my death and though I am not scared I resign myself to my fate. I don't feel any anger towards Atka, though I do ponder the contradiction between the peacefullness of the tribe and his overly aggressive competitiveness. It is a long drop but when I hit the bottom I kind of bounce off something soft and coushy. I have landed on the rare red flower that I am supposed to retrieve except I have a new dilemma now because the flower is absolutely massive, being the size of a VW Microbus. I lay on my rose bed and contemplate for a moment what to do next (and enjoy the cool breeze while I catch my breath). Atka is still a ways up the mountain so I know I have time. Remembering how I transformed into the fish I climb off the giant rose and will myself to grow in size so that I am as tall as the mountains. I mearly have to pluck the rose from the ground (which is now the size of the nail on my pinkyfinger) and place it on the mountain ledge where the tribe is waiting.

Atka is not yet completely down the mountain but he decides to copy me and lets himself fall off. Before he is able to grow himself large and copy my feat I am able to revert back to my normal size and land on the ledge where the rose is, which also shrinks to a normal rose size. The tribe welcomes my return and Atka begrudgingly follows shortly after. This round to me, but we are not done yet as there is one more challenge apparently. Before it can be explained Atka's uncle returns and accuses me of asking him to help me cheat as well as trying to kill him the night before. I don't have any proof that reality is the reverse and figure that the tribe will take the word of a respected shaman over the word of an outsider anyway. I also don't have proof that Atka punched me in the face and knocked me off the mountainside and my girlspirit is heartbroken because of what he did. I meet the accusations with bitter silence because I am angry, frustrated and despondant. Just as I expect, the tribe asks me to leave when I cannot refute the allegations. Still clinging the rose I retreived at the bottom of the mountain I am escorted by the men of the tribe to a path that leads away from the tribal camp and told never to return.

Atka looks on without saying anything, his facial expression stern and unreadable. My girlspirt surges up one more time and I shyly offer him the rose, not sure how he'll respond to what looks like a guy offering him a flower. After a brief and almost akward silence, he accepts the gift and even smiles at me. Suddenly the mountain begins to shake violently and everyone is thrown to the ground. The shaking stops after a few moments and I stand and put my head literaly into a cloud. The mountain has doubled in size and now towers over all others in the entire mountain range. Everyone starts jumping up and down and cheers. Apparently I just passed the final challenge by allowing my heart to reugn over my mind, and thus elevated the entire tribe to Nirvana or something. It is revealed that the whole tribe knows about Atka and his uncle attacking me and the test was about forgiveness or something, which I did in the end and magically I am transformed back into a woman. The end of the dream becomes distorted and fragmented and I cannot remember anymore.

I am walking through the neighbouring backyards towards my parent's house. As I get closer to my parent's backyard I see that there is a large, suspended wooden and rope bride that goes back into a vast forest behind their house. The forest is like the one that existed there when I was a kid but this one isn't small and continues far out into horizon, what would in reality the rest of the city, now untouched wilderness. The day is bright and warm and their is a clear blue sky. It is close to the end of summer and some of the trees are starting to change colour and drop their leaves.

At the foot of the bridge is a pack of wolves play fighting with each other. They are not small but seem not quite adults yet. There are about five or six wolves and they are wide varieties of colours. One wolf is almost completely white except for a patch of black on his face and left side. One wolf is completely black. One wolf is kind of brownish grey and the rest were grey and white. I have the sense that there are several species of wovles present, but they run and play together as if they were one pack, one family.

A few of the wolves take notice of me but do not approach or make any hostile gestures but seem nervous. I think that it is so cool that not only is there an endless forest behind my parent's house but there are wolves living in it. The wolves stop playing and gather into a circle with their heads pointing in. I hear one of them say something in a strange mix of wolf growls and human speech, but the sound wasn't horrible nor hard on the ears. It was almost musical. When he is done talking all the wolves look up at me, then back at themselves, then back at me (which kind of freaks me out a little) before suddenly turning towards the bridge and running along it into the forest.

Almost at the same time many people arrive with cameras and binoculors, from around front of my parent's house, and ask where they can find a newly released pack of wolves. They are tourists and they want to see the wolves in their new home. I suddenly feel very protective of the wolves and demand that the people get out of my backyard. I feel that they will not be able to survive if tourists are allowed to disturb their privacy all year round. I have the overpowering urge to run down the bridge and try to catch up with the wolf pack. I do not get on the bridge right away but wait until all the tourists are gone. I do not want any one to follow me.

When it is safe I start running along the bridge and it twists and turns through the thick forest. I run for some time but do not seem to get tired no matter how fast or far I run, but running on the bridge is difficult because it sways and rocks quite a bit and I do not want to fall off of it (even though it is suspended, it actually is not that far off the ground). After a while a small clearing appears and the suspended bridge comes to and end at a small wooden stair that leads down to the ground and to a wooden boardwalk that continues on into the forest. My unlimited endurance disappears and it is now very tiring to follow this path. I continue on along the boardwalk anyway and as I walk I pass or am passed by all sorts of people dressed for autumn hiking.

I suddenly become aware this forest is a national park. The wolves being reintroduced is a big deal or something because it is the first project of it's time (to reintroduce wolves into the wild so far south in Ontario) but the reason why most of my home town has disappeared and been replaced with a forest is not revealed in the dream and I am confused as to why the edge of the national park is literally in my backyard. Why is it so close to the edge of the city? I walk for a while and the boardwalk comes to an end. A well worn path in the earth continues on for a bit before splitting into two directions at the bottom of a steep hill. The path leading right circles around the hill along a marshy lake or pond. The left path is straight up the steep hill and over. I choose the path on the left because there are less people on it and it seems to lead back into the nature reserve. I am still hoping that I can find the wolves, though I start to feel that I am doing exactly what I want to save them from: constant disurbance of their privacy. I come to at what I first thought was a clearing but turned out to be the sudden end of the forest. I walk out into a parking lot for visitors to the national park. The sun is begining to set.

The parking lot circles around the north park of the park and comes to an octangular tower, beyond which is a soccer field and a rose garden combination. There are many people standing around a fountain in the right side of the field. The fountain is covered with a rose bush that has large, bright red roses on it. The vividness and beauty of the roses seems to contrast the unusually large black thorns hiding underneath the flowers. I walk through the feild and on the other side is a street with houses along it. I see the pack of wolves running up the street towards an overpass that has a large drainage pipe that leads along the ground back into the nature reserve.

I try to catch up with the wolves but they run into the drainage pipe. The wolf that is white with black patches watches me for a moment, like he is waiting for me to catch up before taking off into the pipe as well. I reach and enter the drainage pipe and find that there is ankle deep water and debris. I cannot see the end of the tunnel but parts of it are lit up by light shining through sewer grates along the top. The dream becomes fuzzy and I do not remember exiting the pipe but somehow I end up in the forest behind my parent's house near the suspended wood and rope bridge.

I run along it again, and when it reverts to a path through the forest, this time it leads to an field beside a large cliff. On the side of the cliff is a glass display case containing a minature representation of a city which is labelled "Old London" and I know it is refering to my hometown of London, Ontario.


I cannot remember anymore of this dream.