Lydia's Game of Dreams

2019, 12-09

Skyrim: A Fus for a Fus

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am at a toy show. I am there by myself, but that doesn't seem odd. I am looking at classic toys. I find a model of the God-Phoenix from G-Force anime. I always liked that ship so I look closer to see how much it is. I notice there are some pieces missing, but they look like pieces I could make myself out of clay. And the price is way discounted because of the damage! I pick it up and see part of it slides open to reveal the interior. This is cool. There are little figures sitting inside the ship. I take the ship to the cashier to buy it. The cashier looks at the model, then at the price, then calls his assistant over. He gets angry at the assistant, saying he labeled the God Phoenix wrong. He reveals to me that the price is somewhere around ten times what it was marked. After briefly arguing I give up and leave without the model. I wonder if he priced it wrong on purpose to get people wanting it and unwilling to let it go when they find out the real price. I am angry and I walk outside, not paying much attention to those around me. Our of the corner of my eye I see a woman trying to hold a sick looking man up. My anger fades and I go to help her. When she looks up I see she is an elf... it's Suvaris from Skyrim! She asked where I'd gone, leaving my friend to her. I look and see the man is Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books. I look around and I realize I'm not in Tucson anymore. It looks more like Windhelm. I help Suvaris support Roland to take him... I don't remember where we're taking him, but I hope he can get help.

Suvaris, Roland, and I arrive at the Palace of the Kings. Suvaris says she won’t go inside. I tell her there is no reason not to help me get Roland inside. She says there is a good reason, but continues helping me as I get Roland inside. Ulfric is in there and asks who Roland is? Ulfric sees Suvaris even though she is trying to stay hidden behind Roland and me. Ulfric looks annoyed and asks what she’s doing here. I say she’s helping with my friend, who has been poisoned. Ulfric says he wants Suvaris out now. I tell Ulfric not to make me fus him. Ulfric says he will agree to a lot of things but he will not… I don’t want to hear another rude word so I turn and fus Ulfric in the face. FUS-RO-DAH! He flies into the wall. Suvaris looks shocked and asks what I’ve done. I say it's no big deal, all I did was fus Ulfr… I lose my hold on Roland as I get fus’d. I am thrown against a wall, now I’m fighting uncontrollable laughter. The fact I got fus’d back seems hilarious. Now I want to try something. I get up and ask if Ulfric calls that a fus, that wasn’t a fus, it was a gentle breeze. I annoy him into fus’ing me again, but I respond with Whiplash by Metallica. The force of the fus reflects back at Ulfric. I tell Roland I’ve learned something new… it IS possible to fus yourself! Then I crack up laughing.

I take hold of Roland again and my laughter dies instantly. He’s burning up with fever. The poison has come back with a vengeance. Suvaris says to stop this nonsense, she’s leaving. She pushes Roland onto me and leaves. Roland is barely conscious. He calls me Susan and tries to kiss me. He is delirious. I tell him I’m not Susan… I’m Raven. It looks like Ulfric wants to be pissed but is more curious. He asks how I did that; how did I turn his shout back on him? It’s the whiplash effect, which will reflect any energy-based attack back at the attacker. To be honest I’d been unsure if it would work on a fus. Roland passes out. Ulfric motions to a couple guards (who surprisingly stayed out of our fus exchange) and they take Roland. I tell them no, leave Roland alone, I’m the one who attacked Ulfric, Roland did nothing… let him go or I'll fus your asses straight to... Ulfric interrupts and says they will take Roland to the court mage, Wuunferth, to get healing. He says a guard told him one of the elves was helping me catch a slave trader? Crap… I’m supposed to meet Ambarys to stop that orc! I look at Roland as the guards take him from the room. I hesitate. Ulfric insists Roland will be fine. I say I have to stop the orc and leave, only to wake up just outside the doors.

2019, 11-06

Skyrim: Unknown Challenger Part 2

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am back in the dream and lucid now. Hiei says he’s glad I got back before he had to kill Ulfric. I look and see Ulfric is still bound to the throne, but clearly alive. Now Hiei and I start fighting for real. I can hear Disturbed playing… “Need to get psycho, wanna hear you scream! Tell me to take you, scare you, fuck you, after we finish the show! It's not enough, you hunger for more? You're one twisted little fuck, and now you wanna get psycho with me!” I use Battery to call a bolt of lightning, Hiei teleports just before getting hit. He appears behind me and uses more of those tendrils, I cut through them with my blade. I use Enter Sandman by Metallica to create a vortex of light and dark energy that explode around Hiei… Hiei is gone and behind me just before it goes off. Hiei uses a dark energy blade to attack me, I block with my Alex Mercer blade. There is a dark energy explosion between us that forces both of us apart. Hiei looks like he’s having fun. He teleports again then I find the dark energy tendrils closing from all directions. I form my Alex Mercer blade into a ring around me with edges still as sharp as the blade. The circle cuts through all the tendrils before they reach me. Hiei is just too fast to hit!

Then I remember I am in Skyrim VR, so I use a different shout… the Slow Time shout. “TIID-KLO-UL!” Everything around me slows down, which just means Hiei is moving at a more normal speed. “Hear me now! Feel my blade! There is no more time for apologies. Malevolent emotions take hold of me! Are you ready to begin your trip to the other side? Death is an old friend of mine!” Just because Hiei is moving a normal speed doesn’t make him easy to hit. We trade attacks for a bit longer until I send my Alex Mercer tendrils down into the stone floor to have them erupt behind Hiei. As that is happening, I attack head on with my blade to keep him focused on me. He dodges my blade attack but gets hit with the tendrils as they erupt from the floor. It looks like the tendrils tear him apart, but then he reforms right in front of me with a big grin on his face. He says it’s been fun, but he’s got to go. Don’t worry, Ulfric can live. He calls the bindings off of Ulfric and absorbs them. He then says he wasn’t using his full power, but he knows I wasn’t, either. He disappears from sight.

Ulfric has come down to me and wants to know who that was. I tell him I’m not certain. Ulfric wants to know what’s to keep him from coming back. I say if he is who he looks like, he will honor his word. Ulfric seems to be trying to hide the fact he is worried that Hiei might come back to kill him. I tell Ulfric I don’t think Hiei will be back. Just to prove me wrong, Hiei appears. Ulfric backs away before he can stop himself, then holds his ground. Hiei laughs and tells Ulfric to relax, he’ll keep his word. He looks at me and says he just wanted to say I was right, killing Thalmor is loads of fun! Elven supremacy, such arrogance! And they are pathetic when they beg for mercy! He says they have scattered into the forest and now he’s going hunting. He disappears. Ulfric doesn’t seem convinced Hiei won’t be back. I give Ulfric a Witchblade with a light and dark energy shard. I say it can form armor, weapons, the energy crystals mean it can protect him from Hiei’s energy. He puts the Witchblade on and starts trying out the weapons and armor. The dark energy crystal absorbs the dark force fields, allowing everyone in. Everyone wants to know what happened, I wake before having to deal with any of them.

2019, 11-06

Skyrim: Unknown Challenger Part 1

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am at my home. It looks like it is Thanksgiving. My mom is preparing a big meal and there are a bunch of people around that I don’t know. I also see my brother and my grandmother, who are both dead. There is not much to be done to prepare dinner, so I go outside to wait. There are numerous vehicles parked in our yard. As I am standing there a really old Cadillac enters and parks carelessly behind another car. The door opens and my ex-boyfriend James steps out. Who invited him? I am thinking my mom invited him, though I can’t imagine why. James gets out of the car and heads towards the house without seeming to notice me. I decide that’s fine and I also go inside. My mom now says dinner is not almost ready and we will have to wait a couple more hours. I don’t want to talk to anyone around me so I go put on my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR.

When the game starts I find I’m in the Palace of the Kings standing near Ulfric Stormcloak. Ulfric is sitting on his throne looking at me. I can’t remember why I came in here. Ulfric says he’s glad I’m here. I think he’s going to say something else when I see someone behind me. The visitor smiles. He looks like Hiei from the YuYu Hakusho anime. He looks at Ulfric, then back at me. He asks if I’m here to kill Ulfric or should he go ahead and do it? Ulfric asks who in Oblivion Hiei thinks he is. I sense dark energy in Hiei, so I get between Ulfric and Hiei. I tell Hiei no one is going to kill Ulfric… now what does he want here? He says that sounds good. He will try to kill Ulfric and I will defend him. I see Ulfric looking more annoyed. Hiei says he hates escort missions, so let’s make it a straight fight instead. He and I will fight. If he wins, he will kill Ulfric. If I win, he will leave Ulfric alone. So will I accept that challenge?

I say ok, Hiei against me, one on one. Ulfric asks Hiei what makes him think he can walk in here and… I interrupt and tell Ulfric to stay out of it. Ulfric starts to object again, but Hiei fires black tendrils from his hand and they effectively bind Ulfric to the throne. He says he agrees, Ulfric should stay out of it. Galmar tries to come into the room but Hiei blocks all of the doors into the room with a dark energy force field. He says now no one will interrupt us. There is a sound like thunder as Ulfric lets off a fus in Hiei’s general direction. Hiei holds his nose and says he should kill the idiot for raising such a stink. He throws a blob of black stuff that covers Ulfric’s mouth. He tells Ulfric to shut up, then he tells me let’s get on with it!

Since I’m playing Skyrim VR, the first thing I try to do is fus Hiei. That does nothing at all. Hiei makes fun of it, he says I’d better be able to do something better than send my bad breath his way or he’s going to have to level this whole city to make the trip here worthwhile. He sends out a bunch of tendrils like spears that actually punch right through my body, but I feel nothing but slight irritation as I look at the holes he made in my Assassin’s Creed robes. In an irritated way I tell Hiei that he ruined my robes… that’s just rude. And I decide to go full Alex Mercer on his ass. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and cut his tendrils off. I absorb the part that has penetrated my body like Alex Mercer would in order to get a sampling of Hiei’s energy. The wounds heal instantly. I am about to make another move but instead I wake up. I don’t like how I left the dream so I roll over and focus on getting back into the dream, I manage a DEILD!

2019, 11-04

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

2019, 11-04

Skyrim: Déjà Vu

I am going down the street on my way to Windhelm in my game of Skyrim VR. I spot some special friends ahead. There are three Thalmor escorting a prisoner. I walk over to them. The lead Thalmor tells me to go away. I cut the prisoner free and give him my electric sword that I got from Balgruuf. I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade. As the Thalmor attack I start with a fus, though since it’s only one word it just staggers them. The prisoner and I still make quick work of the Thalmor. I set to looting the dead Thalmor. One of them was a woman about my size, so her elven armor is now mine. It’s too bad I damaged it… The prisoner and I he will head for Windhelm.

We reach Windhelm with no problems. I find the blacksmith. I ask if he can repair the armor and he says yes. I leave it with him. I have to talk to Viola Giordano, but first I have to turn subtitles on. I can’t figure out how to do that. I am distracted by Rolff harassing Suvaris. Rolff breaks off his verbal assault on Suvaris to ask what I’m staring at. He calls me an elf lover. I call him dickless. He tries to get in my face so I fus him. The loser calls for a guard and says I assaulted him. I call him dickless again. The guard asks if it’s true. I respond, “It is true… this man has no dick.” Rolff says his dick is huge. I say I’m sure it is… for a grain of rice. He tells me to take that back. The guard says we should go in opposite directions, he wants no trouble.

I head to the Palace of the Kings. Ulfric is talking to Galmar about Whiterun, He says he would like to take the city with no bloodshed. He sits down on the throne. I approach Ulfric. He says he remembers me. I say yes, I was at Helgen. He says no, he remembers me from before that… or after? It’s unclear to him. He asks how many times this makes. I am quite confused now. I ask how many times for what? He asks how many times have I repeated this? He says he remembers enough to know we’ve done this before, but in Helgen I said I have done it “sooooo many times” so he is asking how many times. This has taken me by surprise, how can Ulfric remember a past game? I finally say I’ve lost count.

Now things get back on track. Ulfric says I should talk to Galmar about joining the Stormcloaks. I have barely gotten out, “I can’t…” when Ulfric goes off script again. He says he remembers I won’t join unless he gives his word that all races in Skyrim will be treated equally, especially the Dunmer in the Gray Quarter. But he has heard rumors that someone there is capturing citizens of Skyrim and sending them… somewhere… to be used as slaves. Ulfric knows the Project AHO mod?! How?! He says if I investigate and find the rumor false or if I find the rumor true and put a stop to it, he will see to improvements in the Gray Quarter, he knows Brunwulf would be glad to take on the project. But he will NOT do so if there’s a chance those blasted elves are sending Skyrim citizens into slavery. He says he doesn’t have the people to investigate, but he will trust my findings. I am still trying to figure out how Ulfric can be reacting to a mod that shouldn’t affect him. A mod I don’t even have active! I tell Ulfric I don’t think anyone in the Gray Quarter is involved, there’s an Orc kidnapping people near Mixwater Mill… but if it will help things move forward then I will check.

I leave the Palace of the Kings. The next normal stop I would make is High Hrothgar to see the Graybeards. But this is going strangely. I am trying to figure out what is going on when Rolff tells me to get the fuck out of his city. I tell him to cram it up his ass. I wonder what I have to do to prove that no one in the Gray Quarter is involved with slavery. Then I wonder about the guy at the Corner Club, he has clearly expressed that he doesn’t care about anyone unless they’re a Dunmer. Should I investigate that? Well I said I would… Rolff says I should get my worthless elf-loving… His interference has pissed me off. I turn around and, without thinking about it, hit him with a full three-word fus. FUS-RO-DAH! Rolff goes flying and crashes into a wall. He collapses, stunned. I am also stunned… I did a full fus! The glitch just happened a bit late! Do I still need to go to High Hrothgar? Probably. It’s getting late and I’m tired. I go to Candlehearth Hall and rent a room. I go to the room and lie down on the bed, falling asleep there and waking up here.

2019, 10-22

Skyrim: The Endless Loop

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am on my computer, sitting in my own living room. I am reading a web comic called Cookie and Rose by Cobi van Leeuwen which follows the adventures of two Pusheen sisters named Cookie and Rose and their friends and family. This episode starts out with the ladies entering into an Egyptian pyramid to explore. It is night and the headlights of their jeep provide the only light revealing the entrance. The ladies and a couple other Sheens enter the pyramid. One of them has a map showing the layout of an expansive series of passages and chambers in the pyramid. Shortly after they have entered the main corridor there is a loud noise and the ground disappears from underneath Cookie’s feet. Cookie drops out of sight along with the torch she is carrying. Everysheen gasps and Rose reaches for her sister, but it is too late. Cookie is gone and nosheen knows where to. This is where the episode ends. I leave a comment that says, “COOKIE! NO!” with a shocked emoji. Well that’s enough Facebook for now, I take out my VR headset and start up Skyrim VR.

The game starts up and goes directly to the beginning sequence. I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. This stupid thing has looped again! I quietly curse at the Thalmor, who I blame for the loop. Then I find myself singing a song from Silent Hill 4 called Tender Sugar… “Not again, not again, not again, this dream I can't awake. What is real, what is real, what is real? It's getting hard for me to take. What I need, what I need, what I need, a little something I rely. And the white sugar gently hides me. Oh the sweet sugar saves me, it's the room that confines me…” The driver of the carriage calls back to stop that singing. I stop singing and I realize Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric are all staring at me. Can they hear me? This game wasn’t supposed to have voice recognition… Ralof tells me to go ahead and keep singing… what are they going to do? Execute me twice? This sets Lokir off, he says it’s all Ralof’s and Ulfric’s fault that he got captured and if he had his way he would see both of them burned alive over a low fire so it would take a nice long time for them to die. Then he emphasizes that he doesn’t include me in that, he knows I’m no foul Stormcloak and… I tell him to cram it. He does a double take, but then for a wonder, he shuts up.

We arrive in Helgen and go in. I see Elenwen on a horse not far off. I mutter to myself that I will definitely fus her straight to Oblivion this time. A fus, a ro, and a dah and she will go flying off of the highest cliff I can find into the endless abyss. Then I realize I’m thinking aloud and Ulfric is looking at me and I shut up. Now I am in front of the Imperial captain who orders my unjust execution and the lyrics of Metallica come out… “Die, die, die, my darling! Don't utter a single word! Die, die, die, my darling! Just shut your pretty mouth, I'll be seeing you again. I'll be seeing you in Hell!” Then General Tullius is giving his monologue. Ulfric is completely ignoring him and looking at me. This seems to frustrate Tullius a bit, his monologue seems less confident and he finally walks off. Ulfric keeps staring at me. Now Evanescence lyrics from the song Taking Over Me come out, I don’t seem to be able to stop myself… “You don't remember me, but I remember you. I lie awake and try so hard not to think of you. But who can decide what they dream? And dream I do…” The lyrics trail off as I ask if Ulfric somehow DOES remember me… no, that’s impossible. This is another loop.

Everything goes normally from there. They try to have my head off and then Alduin attacks. I follow Ralof and the other Stormcloaks into the tower. But then it hits me that I’ve lost all of the progress I’d made in my previous game. This feels extremely depressing and I just drop to my knees under the weight of the depression. I ignore Ulfric when he says we need to move now, he’s not talking about me. Ralof tells me to get up the tower, but I ignore him, too. I say I think I’ll sit this one out. Ulfric asks what I’m waiting for. I look up, wondering why Ulfric would be addressing me when there are Stormcloaks who need to get away safely, including a wounded Stormcloak near me. I focus healing energy and he recovers. It must have been him Ulfric was talking to. I return to waiting to see what happens if I just sit here. Then someone is pulling me to my feet. I look and see Ulfric. He says he doesn’t know why I have decided to give up so easily… I say I have done this sooooo many times… Ulfric continues and says there’s no way the Dragonborn would give up, we’re leaving now. Then Ralof is also pulling me up. If I don’t go I’ll probably get Ralof and Ulfric killed… but how does Ulfric know I’m Dragonborn? That hasn’t been discovered yet…

I get up and go along with Ulfric and Ralof. Aside from Ulfric being with us everything is following the normal course. I get separated for a bit and have to follow Hadvar until I find Ralof again. I don’t see Ulfric. Ralof says they got separated. The rest of the intro quest goes normally. I take too much pleasure in setting the Imperial captain on fire, the one who ordered my execution even though I wasn’t on the list. Ralof and I get out of Helgen just as Alduin is flying away. Ralof wants to get my promise that there will be no more talk of giving up. I realize my depression has lifted some and I no longer feel like giving this cycle up. I tell Ralof it was a passing depression, and it has passed now. I thank him for helping me. He says we are both safe, that’s what counts. We make our way to Riverwood before I wake up.

2019, 08-29

Regular Dream - Video Game - Lucid Dream - Notes

Dark Tower of Skyrim: Between Two Worlds

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am starting over yet again though I don’t know why. I am in the cart with Ralof, Ulfric, and Lokir. We go through the gate into Helgen. I see Elenwen and I know she and the Thalmor are responsible for my repeating this so many times. I call to her that their plan will fail! The tower will stand, the rose will be preserved, the gunslinger will finish his quest. And I don’t care how many times they make me repeat this timeline! Elenwen looks a bit alarmed, like I wasn’t supposed to realize I’ve been repeating this time period or that their target is the tower. We get off the cart, Lokir runs and gets killed, my name isn’t on the list but the captain says I should die anyway. Then Tullius starts his monologue. Elenwen interrupts and says she wants me executed first. I tell her that won’t do any good. Tullius gets angry and says he’s in charge here, and the traitor will be the first to… then Alduin arrives and torches the building behind Tullius. Everyone runs for cover. I yell after Elenwen that I will find her and I will fus her with a full FUS-RO-DAH! I am surprised when the fus works and Elenwen is blasted from her horse. Ulfric stares at me, then our path to the tower is cut off by Alduin’s flame. So Ulfric and I go into the inn.

I hurry through the door into the inn and run into Ulfric, who has stopped. I see we are in the lobby of an apartment building or hotel. Ulfric is completely confused by the modern looking setting. I look for the door back to Helgen, but it is gone. The only door leads out onto a busy modern street. I am thinking this must be one of my mods, but it has started too soon! And Ulfric isn’t supposed to be here! I distract Ulfric from looking outside to the busy street teeming with cars, I tell him I will get him back to Skyrim. But I’m not even sure what is happening, though I don’t tell him that. I follow the sound of voices into a dining room that is filled with a black mist that makes it look like Silent Hill. Father Callahan is in the room holding up the scrimshaw turtle. At least dozens of people are looking at the turtle, enraptured. Many of them have purple auras, others have animal heads, and others have red pulsing holes in their foreheads. Vampires, Taheen, and Can-Toi. I quickly tell Ulfric not to look at the object Callahan is holding or he will be entranced as well. I resist an urge to turn my own gaze on the turtle that emits so much light. I say the vampires are about to attack, I have to help Callahan. He won’t die in this instance!

As I approach Callahan the tapestry on the wall is torn down and the ugliest vampires I have ever seen enter the room. It looks like their fangs have grown wild, they have too many teeth to fit in their mouths! Callahan holds a glowing cross towards them and that keeps them at bay. This shift of focus allows a fat Taheen to lunge at Callahan and knock the turtle from his hand. Now several Can-Toi and Taheen move towards Callahan, their leader seems to be a malformed version of Big Bird. I am too far away to attack directly, but not too far away to fus. FUS-RO-DAH! I fus the enemies coming at Callahan, sending them flying across the room. The fus distracts Callahan, however, and the vampires make their move. They all get fus’d by Ulfric as they attack, throwing them against the far wall. Now everyone attacks. At first I am cutting down enemies with my Alex Mercer blade but then I see the dark clouds close around some of the enemies and I think that can be healed. I call up a crescent moon wand like in Sailor Moon and use a moon healing effect to fill the room with light energy. I telepathically tell those healed to get out since Callahan and Ulfric won’t be able to tell them apart from the other enemies. I don’t see details of what is going on, but I hear more fus’ing and quite a bit of gunfire. I know Callahan had a gun, did someone else join in? Soon all of the enemies are either dead or have fled.

Now the fight is over, or I thought it was over. I hear a gunshot from out in the black fog and the shot hits Ulfric right between the eyes. Shit! That will break too many quests! It’s a good thing I’d placed a quicksave when I thought the fighting was done. At first I’m not sure how to load that save game, but somehow I make it happen. So this time I am able to throw up a Witchblade shield just in time to block the bullet that would have killed him. I look into the fog but I can’t see who fired the shot. I call out, asking who is out there. But then I feel I am almost out of time. I have to get Ulfric back to Skyrim. But how? I need to find a door… but a door to Skyrim? Is there such a door? But I’m about to wake up. Wake up? Is this a dream instead of a game? No time to consider. I open a portal to Windhelm and I go to push Ulfric through it, no time to explain what is happening. There is another gunshot and this time I can feel the bullet pass between Ulfric and me as I push him towards the portal, but I wake up before I get him through it.

2019, 08-13

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

The Dark Tower: Ulfric Dreaming

I am playing Skyrim VR, I have a Dark Tower mod. I am standing on a dirt road outside of Calla Bryn Sturges. Jake and three other kids leave before I get a chance to approach them. They are creating a false trail for the wolves to follow. I approach Roland, Eddie, and Susanna. I see Susanna is using a Witchblade for legs. Roland says he’s glad I could make it. He asks who my friend is. My first thought is that MoSh is here, but when I turn around I see Ulfric Stormcloak. That was silly for me to think… how would MoSh get in my modded Skyrim VR game? But Ulfric is not supposed to show up in this mod! I am now thinking I’ll be unable to use this mod because it’s broken, including characters that don’t belong here. Well I’ll give it a try anyhow.

Roland says there’s no time for introductions, they’re coming. He points towards the horizon where there is a cloud of dust indicating the approach of the wolves. Ulfric wants to know what that is. I tell him they’re evil robots… think Dwemer constructs… who are coming to kidnap the children of Calla Bryn Sturges and use them to try to destroy the tower that holds space-time together… it’s the same ultimate goal that the Thalmor have in wanting to break the tower on top of the Throat of the World. That must be another aspect of the Dark Tower, just like the rose in New York is…

I see Susanna, Eddie, and the others have gotten into a trench to ambush the wolves. Roland is watching for Jake and the other kids. Something is wrong. I tell Roland I’ll check on them. Ulfric is just looking at me, probably when trying to explain things I said both too much and not enough, just enough to sound confusing and more than a bit nuts. I quickly say those enemies are attacking a peaceful town and I’m helping defend that town, so he can either help or just get out of the way. I head in the direction Jake and the three other children went. After a brief pause I hear Ulfric coming behind me.

I get a short way down the road when I see the four kids. One of them has stepped in a hole and they can’t get him out! I go over to them and try to help. But then the wolves are on us! It’s too soon! The cloaked robots are coming on their robot horses, and they have seen all of us standing out in the open on the road. I tell the kids to keep trying to get the boy free, I have to deal with the wolves. As several are heading straight for us, they are wielding something that looks like light sabers, I fus them. FUS-RO-DAH! The horses don’t go down, but it is effective in blasting the riders off.

Now the fight starts. There is a lot of gunfire. I think if Ulfric is helping I should tell him to target the dish on the top of their heads, but his axe is charged with electricity so I figure that should short the things out as if they were struck by lightning. Speaking of lightning… I use a lightning spell to strike some of the wolves with bolts of lightning. Their “thinking caps” are like lightning rods! The lightning is also drawn directly to the sneetches. Three of the kids have gotten to safety, Jake is still out and firing at enemies. I hear the whistle of the plates as they’re thrown and I see a couple cut through the top of the hoods of the enemies, severing the “thinking cap” right off. I hear a fus from off to my right.

It doesn’t take long before all of the wolves are nothing more than scrap metal… with no losses on our side! My lightning struck down the sneetch that had been about to explode Jake’s friend Benny and the wolf that had been about to cut the woman’s head off found itself getting fus’d by Ulfric and then shot by Roland. I see Ulfric is still here. It looks like he is about to say something but then he fades from existence right before my eyes. Roland sees it, too. Roland asks if that’s normal? I say not really, but I think I’m about to do it as well. Then I wake up.

Skyrim: Dream of the Gunslinger

2019, 07-29

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR. For some reason I am starting over yet again. I am thinking I have started over so many times but I can’t think why. And here I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. I look at them and Ralof says the usual stuff, so does Lokir. I ask no one in particular how many times I have to repeat this. Well there’s nothing to do but wait for the dragon. Ulfric is staring at me. I don’t remember noticing him staring at me here before. I look around the cart and I see numerous Imperial soldiers riding around us, more than I remember noticing in past times I played this. But other than that it seems to be going normally… until we arrive at Helgen at the same time as a group of bandits.

The cart comes to a stop near Helgen because there are bandits between us and the main gate. They’re fighting someone. I hear the crash of a gun firing. The bandits freeze, not sure what to make of that noise. A mage throws a fireball at someone near the gate. There is another gunshot and the bandit mage falls. More start attacking, and more gunshots ring out. Bandits fall, one for each shot fired. The bandits actually show intelligence as they scatter from the unknown threat. As the bandits scatter I see a familiar face. It’s Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books by Stephen King! The guards are trying to arrest Roland, so much for showing some gratitude for defending Helgen from bandits. It seems they’re assuming Roland is also a bandit.

The fact we were delayed at the entrance to Helgen does not delay Alduin’s arrival. The huge black dragon soars over Helgen, bathing everything in his path in fire. He saves a blast of flame for those of us outside the gate. The explosion flips the cart end over end, dumping all four of us out. I have an image of the cart landing on top of me and I try to get up only to be knocked back down when Ulfric lands on top of me. The flaming cart lands several feet away with a crash. I look to the side and see Alduin grab Lokir for a snack. That guy just can’t catch a break! Ulfric gets off of me so I can get up now. I see Roland staring at Alduin in amazement. When the dragon circles for another pass Roland starts shooting, though the shots have no apparent effect.

There is now chaos. People are running through the gate and into the surrounding wilderness to try to escape Alduin, many don’t make it. There’s an explosion near the gate and I lose sight of Roland. I head in his direction, I have to be sure he’s ok. Someone grabs my arm and pulls me towards the cover of the trees. I look and see it’s Ralof, I pull away from him and head for the remains of the gate. Roland comes out of the smoke, he looks unharmed. The Imperial captain that I hate so much is coming at us with several guards. I want to fus her. So I do. FUS-RO-DAH! The captain and the guards all go flying backwards from the force of it. If I have to repeat this, at least this cool glitch repeated!

Someone has grabbed my arm again. I look and see Ulfric this time. He says we have to move now, I won’t go anywhere until I know Roland is ok. Roland isn’t even supposed to be here, I’m not leaving him. I pull away from Ulfric and go to Roland. Roland is staring at Alduin, who is over Helgen and torching everything. I grab Roland and tell him we have to get to cover. Roland turns to me but then becomes transparent and disappears. What the fus?! I am looking where Roland disappeared. My arm is grabbed again and this time I go without even looking to see who is pulling me. I am soon in the trees with Ralof and Ulfric and a couple other Stormcloaks. I am wondering what happened to Roland. Ulfric wants to know where I learned to shout, but when Alduin roars, Ulfric says that will have to wait. I am about to follow Ralof and Ulfric into the trees but I wake up. After I wake up I wonder if I disappeared just like Roland did…

2019, 07-11

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR, starting at the beginning. Ralof is across from me, Ulfric is to my right, Lokir is across from Ulfric. Lokir is being extremely rude. He won’t shut and two out of every three words is an expletive. He is directing his torrent of obscenity at Ulfric, who is completely ignoring him. Ralof tries to tell Lokir not to talk to the rightful high king of Skyrim like that, but gives up. Lokir sees me staring at him and takes a break from Ulfric to curse at me. I ask if he talks to his mother with that filthy mouth. He gives me one final, “Fuck you!” before going back to cursing at Ulfric.

We arrive in Helgen and stop. I see the Imperial Captain and say to no one in particular that I really wish I could fus her ass. I look at Ulfric. He could fus her. I say I’ll get that gag off of him if he’ll fus the Captain. He looks at me strangely. Did he hear me? But other characters can’t hear what I say, they only hear the dialog choices I make… But then Lokir had seemed to hear me, too… wtf? Did I add a mod that includes voice recognition and explicit language?

Ulfric and Ralof are on the list, then Lokir insists he’s not a (expletives) Stormcloak and he hates that (expletives) traitor Ulfric. The Captain doesn’t believe him so he then turns his expletives on her, calling her a list of rude names I won’t repeat even though I agree with them. He then makes a run for it and is shot in the back by an archer. Hadvar says my name isn’t on the list, but the Captain says I should be killed anyway. Lokir used every expletive in the book, so I settle with telling the Captain to go fus herself. I would love to be able to fus her right off of a cliff.

Alduin swoops over the town, bathing everything in fire. I follow Ralof into the closest tower. Ralof and Ulfric and a few other Stormcloaks come out the hole in the wall, though after a blast of fire from Alduin the other Stormcloaks are either killed or separated leaving Ralof, Ulfric, and me. Hadvar and the Captain attack Ulfric specifically, saying he’s not getting away. I get to see the Captain get fus’d after all. Ulfric fus’s her right as Alduin makes another pass, so she gets fus’d and then toasted! I exclaim, “That was AWESOME!” Ulfric looks at me like he thinks I’m insane. He can hear me! I’d better watch what I say or everyone in Skyrim will think I’m a total psycho.

The rest of the opening quest goes pretty normal except for Ulfric is with Ralof and me. Then we are out and Ulfric wants to know if I know what fus means. “Of course I do, it means force. Ro means balance, dah means push. Now if I can just kill a few dragons I can do my own fus’ing…” Alduin flies overhead. “But not that one… I’m not ready for that one yet.” So the sooner I head off the Whiterun the sooner I will get the first word! I head down the path then wake up.

2019, 05-29

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in Windhelm. I see one of my least favorite people, Rolff, following a Dunmer and saying rude things. The Dunmer is Suvaris, she’s just ignoring him. I walk over and get his attention. I tell him stop harassing people. He calls me an elf lover and says people like me are as bad as they are. I tell him he is the scum that even bottom feeders won’t touch and he is good only for fus’ing practice. Suvaris turns around and starts to say Rolff isn’t worth getting in trouble over, but before she finishes her sentence I fus Rolff. FUS-RO-DAH! Rolff flies through the air and slams into the stone wall of Candlehearth Hall then falls to the ground in a heap. He isn’t moving. Suvaris asks if I killed him. I say no, it was just a fus. But I’m unsure… did the idiot go and die? I try to remember when I last saved, wondering if I should just leave him dead. Skyrim would be slightly better without him. But I see him moving when I go over to him. He groans and picks himself up. He says I’m crazy and was trying to kill him. I say if I wanted to kill him he would be dead, but if he stops being an asshole I won’t bother him. He says fine, he’ll leave the gray-skins… er… elves alone if I promise not to kill him. Before I can answer he disappears into Candlehearth Hall.

I’m not sure what I was in the middle of doing before I saw Rolff being an asshole. Why am I in Windhelm? I go into the Palace of the Kings. Did I need to talk to someone in here? I see Galmar and Rolff in the back of the room, apparently Rolff snuck out the back door of Candlehearth Hall. From what I hear Galmar isn’t being too sympathetic with Rolff. He says he told Rolff if he kept up his behavior eventually he would get his ass kicked. Rolff sees me and starts insisting I’m there to finish the job. Galmar asks if I’m trying to kill his brother. I say no, if I was trying to kill Rolff he would already be dead. It was only a fus for Rolff being an ass. The fus is done, so unless I see him being an ass again… The doors open and a guard runs in looking panicked. He says they’re here, they’re at the gates! Without even thinking about it I ask who, but he ignores me. Galmar goes over to the guard, the dispute between Rolff and me clearly pushed aside. The guard goes to Galmar and tells him the Thalmor are here, and they have the black crystal. Black crystal? That doesn’t sound good… so I head out to see.

Note: I wake up here, but I use a DEILD technique I read about and somehow manage to get back into the dream…

I am in Windhelm again, now fully lucid. I remember there are Thalmor at the main gate. I make my way through Windhelm, which seems considerably larger than it is in the Skyrim video game. I come to the main gate, which is closed and barred. There are guards who say no one enters or leaves, the city is under siege so they can’t open the gates. I say I don’t need gates. I jump up to the top of the wall, ignoring the stunned looks of the guards. I look out and I see an army of weird spectral black things. They look sort of like Thalmor, but all in black. I see one normal looking Thalmor near the back, there is a black orb floating over her head like a miniature black sun. The scene is quite disturbing. How many are there? Hundreds? A thousand? I don’t care, this is a dream and they can’t touch me. And even if they can, the worst that can happen is I wake up! And I have a plan that’s going to be awesome!

I jump down off of the wall and come face to face with a Thalmor. There actually are a few normal looking Thalmor in the group, the others all look like some form of solid shadow. I tell the Thalmor I am there to negotiate with their leader, and he doesn’t question it… he takes me through the ranks of shadow Thalmor to a woman I recognize is Elenwen. She says obviously there will be no negotiations, just a complete surrender or we will all be annihilated. I say I was about to say the same thing, but she and her shadow puppets will be the ones annihilated. She laughs at me and asks if I think the Stormcloaks stand a chance against her army. I say I never said anything about any Stormcloaks, it will just take me. So am I to assume she is refusing? Then kiss the army goodbye. She looks at me and says she can see I really believe I can do it, well no matter. I tell Elenwen I have one final thing to say, she says I had better say it fast then.

I am thinking back to an anime I watched called Slayers. There was a spell used in it called Dragon Slave, but Dragonslave uses dark energy and that will surely do no good against shadow warriors. For a bit I think I will be unable to remember the spell, but then I do remember, and I modify it as I say the words to make it use the power of the light instead of dark. “Sunlight beyond twilight, pure light is the power that flows. Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows…” The shadow Thalmor are attacking with black fire, it doesn’t burn but it seems to suck my energy out. I continue my spell, gathering my energy around me… “… In thy great name, I pledge myself to conquer, all the foes who stand, before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand. Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed, by the power you and I possess… Dragon Slave!” The resultant explosion is a blinding light that makes it impossible for me to see what is happening, but when it fades all that I see around me is a handful of dazed looking Thalmor and Elenwen staring in stunned silence. The black orb hovering above shatters like glass and turns to dust that blows away. I hope any dark energy in it was fully neutralized…

Elenwen is staring in stunned silence, I feel like I might pass out, which would most likely lead to me waking up. I guess it’s the dark energy draining my energy then the energy focused into the Dragon Slave. But I can’t look weak in front of these remaining Thalmor. I go with a video game power, I change my right arm into a sword like Alex Mercer on Prototype. I turn to the remaining Thalmor, preparing to fight with my Alex Mercer blade. They’ve had enough, however, and they take off. Elenwen is already gone, that sucks… I’d really like to fus her off of a cliff. I’m too tired to chase. Some Stormcloaks come out of the gates and chase after the Thalmor. Galmar comes out and pauses briefly, then seems convinced I’m fine and continues. So I’m alone? No one to see if I pass out. I’m about to pass out when I see I’m not alone. More Stormcloaks? I see Ulfric… I won’t pass out where anyone can see. The group that followed the Thalmor return, saying Elenwen and the Thalmor disappeared through a portal. Ulfric is staring at me as if I have grown a second head. Has he never seen a Dragon Slave? Oh, right… probably not. So I will go somewhere I can pass out and wake up in peace. I am walking away like a drunk, I almost walk into twin Ulfrics. This time I really do fall over, right on Ulfric, he holds me up for the brief moment before I wake.

Link to a video showing Dragon Slave: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QINNMT9TWIk

2019, 05-02

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

Note: When I have video game dreams they tend to be long and detailed, which is one thing I like about them. I also seem to be very slow to realize it's a dream and not a game, which is frustrating.

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am starting a new game, I am riding in the back of the cart with Ralof across from me and Ulfric to my right, but I look to where I expect Lokir to be and instead of him there is a woman. The woman is glaring at Ulfric like she would really enjoy gouging his eyes out and feeding them to him. I am surprised to see the difference, I think there must be some random factor to the fourth person in the cart when starting a new game. She tells Ulfric she won’t kill him until he begs her to. Ulfric completely ignores her, not even looking at her. Ralof tells her to watch her mouth when speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak.

The woman briefly glares at him, then she sees I’m staring at her. She turns her glare on me. I return her glare, giving my best effort at a Vegeta (Dragonball Z) glare. She says if I even think about getting in her way she’ll rip off my face and wipe her ass with it. This strikes me as funny and I start laughing. She looks confused. I ask what her name is, she says her name is Varlin, and I’d better not forget it. I tell her she wins, and as soon as I learn the three word fus, she has won herself a place on the top of my list of people to fus off of a cliff. She looks at me strangely again, she clearly does not know what a fus is. Ulfric, on the other hand, is now looking over at me, but he can’t say anything because he is gagged.

Varlin returns her glare to Ulfric, who is still staring at me. I say that knowing my luck Alduin will eat Varlin, denying me my fus. And then Alduin will probably die from eating something that nasty. This earns another brief glare from Varlin and Ulfric’s eyes get wider. It sounds like he tries to say something, but then looks frustrated and growls, still staring at me. I want to know what he has to say so I stand up, and even though my hands are tied in front of me, I reach to take the gag off. A guard riding beside the cart gets closer and uses the blunt end of his spear to push me away from Ulfric, making me fall on the floor of the cart on my ass. He says if I try that again it won’t be the blunt end he strikes me with.

We get to Helgen and everyone gets out of the cart. Varlin immediately takes action. She has somehow freed her hands. She moves lightning fast and snatches a sword from a guard, and before he can even look her way she has run it through his chest from behind. She says she came to kill Ulfric, but now she wants to kill me first. She seems to think that will be easy since I’m still tied. I really want to fus her. So I do. I let out a full three word fus, “FUS-RO-DAH!” right in her face. And it works! She is launched backwards into the stone wall that surrounds Helgen. I have surprised myself, I didn’t think I could do that yet! A glitch? Nice glitch!

General Tullius arrives with Elenwen riding a horse close behind. Tullius asks what in Oblivion is going on, some people say Varlin killed a guard, more say Ulfric shouted at Varlin, and others say I shouted at Varlin. Tullius looks to where Varlin landed, but she is gone. He then looks at Ulfric, then at me. My cool down for shouting has finished, so I tell Tullius I have a message from Thorald Gray-Mane, and the message is, “Fus you.” He looks puzzled, then I fus him in the face. Now Tullius flies through the air and crashes into Elenwen, knocking her off of her horse. The two fall to the ground in a heap, they land in a pile of poop just dropped by Elenwen’s horse. I start laughing. This glitch is too fun!

These changes don’t delay Alduin’s arrival. He swoops over the tower and breathes fire. People start running, my ability to shout is no longer important. Tullius gets up and starts organizing a defense, all unarmed and bound prisoners make a run for cover. I turn towards Alduin and let out a fus. It does little more than surprise him, and he replies with a blast of fire. Ulfric grabs me and pulls me towards cover, his hands are free and his gag is off. He says if that’s really the World Eater, Unrelenting Force will do nothing to him. I think Ralof is the one who is supposed to come back for me, not Ulfric, and I ask where Ralof is. Ralof is on my other side, he says he’s right there and all three of us go into the tower.

Now things follow the normal path from Skyrim, notable differences being Ulfric says he has to make sure the other Stormcloaks get out safely, but Ralof will make sure I get out ok. And he wants to talk to me more, but that will have to wait. If we don’t see each other again here he will be in Windhelm. Ralof comes out the hole in the wall with me, at no time did I follow Hadvar or even see him. On the way through the tunnels under Helgen and out the back way I am completely fus-happy, these are people I’ve never gotten to fus before. The Imperial Captain who orders the player be executed even though their name isn’t on the list got fus’d repeatedly until dead. I follow Ralof to Riverwood and into his sister’s house where I collapse on a bed. That start was new, now to take off my VR headset… I’m not wearing one? Does that mean I’m dreaming? I never even get to RC before I wake.