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This dream has three layers.
In the first I am a man, a soldier, wearing a battered colonial uniform. Out of the corner of my eye I see the small weathered row boat that will take me across the water to the island. I know the kind people there will hide me. I have an old book open, laying page down across my knees. There's one last bit of evidence to link my name to this place. The spine (and one inch to either side) is covered in white leather with gold writing.
I glance up before I take my knife to the back of the book and see the calm ocean and clear sky, an island crowned with trees, then to my right a narrow strip of beach. I press my blade into the cover and where the sharp edge meets its surface the dusty red cover begins to fray. My own self has a moment of worry. I can see the fibers beneath the leather separating. I'm damaging a valuable artifact!
Then the character's personality supersedes my own. I realize it doesn't matter if I damage it, as it will never leave the island. Now I just have to destroy the leather...

It has been 14 years since I went into hiding. I married an island woman and together we raised a daughter named Antila. Soon she will be initiated into the tribe. She is small-framed, like her mother, but with my coloring. Pale, flawless skin, gold-brown hair and eyes. She could be a self-centered snot.
I see her now, some of her hair up in a gold-cross wire cage, a gold choker and an ankle-length white dress.
I become Antila, running alongside a stone wall. It used to be a tunnel but now there's a jagged hole in the ceiling, as I pass I see a flash of vivid green foliage and a lacework of sky. I rush to the end and turn into the courtyard. This place has no roof, all the same stone with tree visible at every side. I see my father standing by the far wall with several others, the tribe elders. This is the Ritual of Choosing. On the wall behind him are engraved three animals, all in peaked stone windows. In one is a mammoth, the middle one I don't remember, and the last looks like a combination of a lion and a wolf. In the engraving of the lion-wolf a bright blue stone glimmers in the sun. I know he has chosen me.
There's a lapse and I'm sitting on a stone bench, a dark haired muscular man settles down next to me. He washed ashore a few weeks ago and has yet to leave. In truth , the elders want to keep him here if he can't be judged honest. The last thing my father needs after 14 years of hiding is to be exposed by this man. We have a conversation, my father interrupts and calls the man away. I'm a little annoyed when I realize what he's saying. I'll talk to whoever a please!
"What did I say to you? I warned you to stay away from my daughter."

I rise into another layer of sleep but I believe I have woken up. The house is larger than it should be, and my sister is living with me. I try to tell my sister about the dream I'd been having. Being the soldier, then his daughter, then describing the tunnel and the engraved animals.
"Do you know what plateaus are?" I ask her, but she just gives me a blank look. I try to describe where part of the village sits, and how the top of the plateau is subtly tiered, and covered in moss instead of grass.

The dream slips and I am myself, back in the village. I'm standing in the tunnel and there are small rugs rolled up and piled together against the wall. A young man walks by and says something to tease me when the rugs roll from the careful pyramid I've been crafting. I glance at him, unamused. When he and his friends see that I'm not taking their good natured teasing as it is meant, they stop to help me pick up the rugs, smiling to show they meant nothing.
As I see this scene the soldier from before is speaking about how I was forced to leave the island.
"See what you made her leave? How different it is where you made her go? And you call me unkind for confining my family to this place. There is no cruelty here."
The whole thing sends a ripple of grief through my chest, and with it I flip back to my house, I cover my face and cry.

There's a third layer, but I don't remember this one very well, it was right before I woke up. All the people from the island, have come here to this place of cruelty. Some have found themselves imprisoned like they are animals, but I'm the only one that can see who they really are. A young man with shoulder-length white hair and a woman with long black hair huddle naked in a roofless cage, thick metal collars around their necks with chains bolted into the concrete.
One second I think that this man looks exactly like Wolf. A DC I encounter often. I try to realize how untrue that opinion is, he really looks nothing like Wolf, but the dream takes hold of me and I cannot argue. It's nice, everything in the city is glistening with the recent rain. I see other people from the island, from one angle they look like lion-wolves, but from another they look like people. They are beginning their revolt, breaking free.
I wander over to a grey building that reminds me of a barn. A man kneels on the threshold. He notices me, looking terrified.
"Tell me you can see the dead." He says.
I shake my head, confused, but then something catches my notice at the corner of my vision. An impossibly tall woman with a weathered-dead face and no eyes looming over him. I back away and leave him to his fate. Then I see them everywhere, standing at the cage where Wolf and the woman are chained, down the street stalking one of the lion-wolves...

SP
Non-Lucid
Lucid
I haven't had sleep paralysis at night in a long time, which is good because SP at night always produced nightmares even if it was just about my bedroom. This time I feel it coming and it doesn't scare me. It's faint, I know I can choose to go with it or to shake myself out of it. I consider SP a rare opportunity for a partial lucid dream, so I take it.
There's a distant buzzing and my body feels heavy. I tilt my head back slowly, and the more I tilt it back the louder the buzzing gets. I actually see myself for a split second, the crown of my head burrowed back into the edge of my pillow. Then I see my room, my eyes fix on the bookcase across from the bed. Everything still looks normal, which is a plus.
For one I actually remember that I've always wanted to try singing while I'm Lucid, and this is as close as I can get to it. I feel like I've slipped between the layers of the world and found a good...transmitting spot. I start to hum ascending notes. It resonates in my head, I can feel the vibration of the notes in my teeth like I'm humming with my jaw clenched except it doesn't -feel- clenched.
I wonder if I'm actually making noise, or if it's all in my head. So I will my mouth to move and issue the beginning of words. Definitely a difference, the singing is all in my head.
I sing Liam's name and wonder if he can hear me, midday is the best time for dreams like this.



I'm dropped into the middle of a dream. I'm Clary Fray from the Mortal Instruments series. She's at a hospital, waiting in the office. She's grilling the receptionist about some event, sure that the woman knows about the person she's looking for.
The receptionist is a pretty black woman, dressed in a blue skirt and jacket. Clary exits via a door behind the receptionist but my subconscious stays to witness the next part of the story. I notice the bluish-white walls and dark blue commercial carpet. The woman picks up the phone and dials a number. She looks terrified. I can only hear her half of the conversation.
"No, I didn't say anythin---please don't! You can't! I promise I didn't say---"
The sleep paralysis has warped the dream, I can only see part of her face and the longer I look at it the stranger she becomes. She begins to gain the appearance of a stuffed doll. The eye I can see blinks furiously, warding off tears. Each time she blinks and squeezes her eye shut it gets smaller until it is an oblong black bead.
This really disturbs me. What happens next is worse. She shakes her head and begins to choke, phone still at her ear. Her head separates violently from her shoulders, twists off and lands in the corner, spraying the room with bright red blood.
I stare at this in disbelief. I know I need to get help. I no longer remember why, but I go into the corner of the room. I look myself over to make sure I'm not covered in blood, there's a little bit of spatter on my shoes.
Out of the corner of my eye I notice a black kitten wandering over the threshold. Before she can track through the blood I pick her up and leave the room to notify someone of what has happened.

The hallway outside is wide and carpeted in that same commercial grade blue. The doors are all blonde wood with silver handles. I start checking rooms for hospital staff. The first room on the right stands open. The cat starts to freak out, flailing wildly and clawing the hell out of my arm. I hold on to her, when I look into the room I understand her distress. There are two large, collared lynxes standing at the foot of the bed. One is black, the other is a kind of white/cream/grey calico with a red collar. This room is brightly lit. I can see the foot of a big hospital bed.
The next room on the right is dark and has three big black dogs.
I begin to understand that I'm in the supernatural wing of the hospital. I set the cat down and she follows me. I see the mouth of the stairs at the end of the hallway. The female cat has become a male dog and runs ahead of me to the stairs. He looks back to see if I'm following and then darts down the stairs.
When I reach the stairs I hesitate. I know from previous dream experience that stairs give me trouble.
"There's no guard rail." I think, frowning at the wide, curving, steep stairway. The steps are long and shallow, covered with raised dark grey circles. "I hate stairs. Well...won't know if I can do it until I try." I try to keep my hand on the inside wall as I descend, but the sharp decline of the stairs gives me a bad case of vertigo. I trip, and fall down them like they are a slide. I tumble out by glass double doors and try not to be embarrassed about my inability to traverse a set of stairs.
There's a woman dressed in blue scrubs with her hair tied back in a ponytail. She's at a vending machine, I call to her.
"Hey, do you know who this dog belongs to?"
She looks surprised. "He's mine. I wonder how he got out, must have jumped his wall."
For some reason I'm defensive, "I don't know I just found him wandering around in the hallway." I hesitate, wondering how I should tell her that the receptionist upstairs has met a terrible end. Will she blame me? How much time did it take me to get down here? If it's been hours will I look guilty that I've waited.
"I thought I'd get something from the vending machine while it was still slow. "
I glance down at the dog, he has a long plastic wrapped stick of nutterbutters in his mouth. "I guess we know what -he- wants."
"Hey, I don't know who to tell..." I say finally, I don't actually tell her aloud what happened to the receptionist and I don't get to hear her response. She runs past me to phone upstairs, the phone is bright red.They want me to meet back in the office so I can tell them what I saw.

I appear back upstairs and I'm walking with Clary to the office. I turn to face her and one second I'm thinking she looks exactly as I imagined her and then I think "What are you talkin' about? She doesn't look anything like Clary." As soon as I think it, she begins to look different.
For one her hair is a dull wispy blonde instead of red. I stare at her, mentally shouting at it to change, while actually flailing my hands at her. "red." nothing. "Change!" nope. "YOU. ORANGE. NOW." Nothing. The dream-Clary is looking at me with mild amusement.
"What are you doing?" She asks.
For a split second I'm not myself, I'm her mother. I take her face in my hands and lean down. She smiles at me. Her face changes, because with SP dreams nothing is really fixed, she almost looks deformed.

There's a lapse. I'm in a van, in the middle row of seats. Another character from the book, Simon, is driving. He says he has no idea where we're going. I offer to take over because, you know, you can totally switch drivers while still moving. I climb over the seat in front of me, leaving three people sitting in the back by the rear doors. I see Simon with his light grey hoodie. I make my way over the next row of seats to where Simon is and he takes my place in the back of the van.
That's when I realize he was somehow driving from the second row instead of the driver's seat. I frown at it. The driver's seat is pushed really close to the dash. I squeeze myself between it and the wheel.
"How were you even driving from back there?"
"Just talented I guess."
"That is NOT an answer."
He laughs at me.
I really want to move the seat back but I'm afraid of crushing the knees of the people behind me. Besides, I have to concentrate on driving. I turn right at the intersection...

I don't really remember the rest. Something about parking on a road in a patch of woods bordering a farm.

When the dream picks up I'm on a giant plane with a white haired man. He points down at a football field surrounded by a corn field. Even from here I can tell the football field is full of people. There's a designated spot for him to land, but he lands where the people are standing. They run out of the way, all the while cheering for his return.
We're off the plane. He takes my arm and leads me forward, explaining his town to me. I'm not really listening, this place freaks me out. It's completely isolated, I remember my view from the plane and wonder where all these people live. He tells me that I'll be integrated into the community if God wills it. He has submitted my name to the marriage lottery and if I come up then, obviously, I'll marry the person God has chosen for me.
All their activities are the Will of God, I think how perfect it must be for him. He could orchestrate everything and pretend it's the God's will. While I wasn't paying attention night has fallen. He leads me over to the ballot on the right side of the field where a wide wooden fence separates the playing area from the corn.
"Let's take a look, see what God intends for you." He has his hand on the back of my neck. It's more of a threatening gesture than something that hurts. To everyone else it looks different, somehow that he's taking a fatherly interest in my future. There are scraps of paper with names on them beside a weathered slotted box. Someone has combined them on a list in black sharpie. I notice other people sitting around, they are a part of the community but also isolated. I recognize them as other captives, but they look dull eyed and complacent.
I remember what the raid had been like. Our village of small wooden houses, how the mud felt underfoot as I tried to run, the creatures attacking us in the street. The buildings being on fire, all the smoke. Someone looming over me.
The white haired man is talking to me about other towns he has taken, how many people he has integrated into his community.
He pushes me forward to fence edge and makes me turn over the pages with names on them.
I'm relieved to not see my name.
"It seems God has other plans for you, my dear."
I can't decide if the man has set it up this way, or if he truly submitted my name to the lottery and I was not chosen. I choose to see it as the latter. That Fate has saved me from the fell machinations of this man's faith.
A woman comes up to us and tells him that THEY are here. He releases me and I move along the fence away from the creepy converts. Then I notice that 'they' are the press. They've set up cameras, all facing away from the converts/abducted and toward his community.
I pretend I'm going to rejoin the others and run across the line of the cameras hoping that my family will see my face on the news and know that I didn't die in the raid.
I return to the fence and nervously lean on it, hoping no one questions me. They don't. As I'm sitting there I lean back a little and it's like the corn was an illusion. I can see the wall of corn, but just beyond that is a city street. Almost like he wanted us to believe it was isolated so we wouldn't try to escape.

There's a lapse in the dream and I'm driving. I've stolen a car. I know it won't be long before they discover I'm missing. There are very clear turn lanes and signs that are supposed to lead out of the town. I take the right hand turn, noticing the body of a man in the street that no one has bothered to move. He's clearly dead. I keep driving, taking the suggested turns. I find myself back on the street with the dead man.
This obliterates my hope for escape, I realize I would just have to drive around until I found the way out, and I don't have the time.

They've found me. They put me with the white haired man's son. He's meant to watch me. I don't know what they intend for me, but the man's son doesn't seem so bad. He doesn't crowd me, and the only rule is that I stay where he can see me and don't leave the apartment alone.
"I'm sure you want to shower and change."
I agree. He hands me a pile of clothing and a towel. It has a rainbow colored criss-crossing design.

There's another lapse and I'm standing in a cool dark hallway in the apartment. From here I can see my the son, my watch dog. I look at a painting. It matches the towel.
Except that it doesn't seem like a design choice. The repeated patterns makes me think there aren't any pattern -choices-, that is all there is. I think it's because this man decides who makes the art, it isn't about creativity anymore. The thought makes me sad.
"Hey, you almost done?" The son asks me. I smile at him. I'm only wearing a red tank top and panties. They took my other clothes and didn't supply a pair of jeans.
I ring my hair out and instead of drying my hand on the towel draped over my arm I go to the pile of towels by the sink and start to do it there. The son's face makes me stop, reminding me I have my own. He makes me feel...wasteful somehow.

I've forgotten about escaping. I live in a house with the white haired man's son. When he's not looking I use a square post in the center of the living room to do some sort of arm exercise, it runs from ceiling to floor. I wrap my hands around the post and lift myself off the ground, knees to either side of the post. I think about how I'm not really the person I was when I was brought here.

I'm at work but the building looks different. On the left end, instead of selling Lumber, we have furniture. I go to help a customer with the couch that they spent $1400 on. They're pissed because there's a stain about the size of a silver dollar in the middle cushion. I look over the couch. It's kind of ugly. I wonder why anyone would buy such an ugly couch. I tell her we can't take returns on special order items and she has a huge fit. With an inward sigh I take a look at the couch, wondering what I can do to fix her problem. Somehow the thing looks bigger, and there's a weird space between the back cushions and the seat cushions that's framed in wood. I realize there's a big wad of strawberry jelly there, smeared from the wood piece across the cushion.
There's also a random glob on the floor ten feet away, leading me to believe these entirely shameless hicks brought the couch here and THEN damaged it. I'm annoyed, I know I can't return it, but I really don't feel like listening to this woman yell at me.
"Okay, here's what I'm going to do. I'm going to store use some carpet and upholstery cleaner, and some scrubbing cloths. I'll see what I can do to get the stain out, will that satisfy you."
They say yes. I sense a trap, but I can't do anything about it. Cynically I think that I'll go through all the trouble trying to clean the stains and they'll throw another fit. I turn to leave and the woman points behind me at a large glass mixing bowl on the floor. It's half full of dark red liquid with a towel hanging out of it.
"Don't forget that."
"Right... of course." I pause, "Do you want to come back in a few hours?"
"No, we'll wait."
Of course they're going to wait. Nothing more annoying than having someone stare at you while you're trying to work.

I head off to the other side of the store, carrying the bowl and towel. There's some sort of washing facility on the far end where I can dump out the bowl. On my way there I pick up a spray bottle of carpet cleaner (when I do, I get a visual on how the chemical is supposed to push the stain up out of the fabric), drape a yellow towel across my shoulders and cast about for gloves. I find some at the paint desk, and I put them on, but there's a tear from wrist to tip of thumb. I frown at it, but think it'll do. I go over to the 'cleaning facility' which is kind of like an empty concrete tub set into the floor. It's painted dark yellow, with a black iron bar to keep people from falling in. I lean against the guard rail, it's a little too tall for me to do this comfortably. (Not surprising, in RL I'm 4'11 and have trouble reaching things at work)
Somehow the towel around my neck hangs over the rail, and as I pour out the thick red liquid I keep thinking is blood, I accidentally drip it on the towel. I finish with the bowl and set it on the floor then ring out the towel that was in it. It's actually several towels. Somehow they don't separate when I shake them out. They're still stained...maybe I can use the washing machine in the break room.

I run over to the break room and toss the towels in a washer. I watch the red tinged water splash against the glass.
It's unclear what happens next...
Suddenly I'm sitting on the floor with the bowl in my lap. It's full of wet towels. I pick one up and take a bite out of it. It's easier than you would think, the material separates easily. I chew and swallow. I take several more bites. I'm amazed I don't feel full yet. I keep eating.

1/15/13
I become aware. I'm laying on my back, on a mattress on the floor. The first thing I see when I open my eyes is a skylight. Something about the glow of the day outside is incredibly soothing. I sit up and say to my dad who is standing nearby "I've never thought about how comforting it is to wake up with a window overhead."
He keeps looking in my direction when he thinks I'm not looking in his. I realize that this is not a regular house, but a ward. I've been brought here because I'm crazy.
I frown a little, then the skylight catches my eye and I decide I don't care. The worry that I'm no longer sane slips away. I am comforted.

There's a door to my left, I know it leads to the garage, it slams open and a woman bursts in. Her face is bloody. Her eyes search the room, she doesn't find what she's looking for so she leaves calling to someone outside.
"I remember this." I think. "This is an episode of Supernatural." ((It's not actually)) I know what's going to happen. The Winchesters and their friend (the woman) go to live in a house out in the country. The place is infested with pests, raccoons, rabbits, rats. They kill them and only later realize that all the animals they killed were actually shapeshifters. They're remorseful about it, which even in the dream seems odd to me. My subconscious doesn't even try to come up with a plot hole filler like it usually does.
I see them do all this, I think I may have tried to talk to them about it. The scenes I see are at night, but when I actually leave the house to find them it's mid-morning.
I run out of the house and look back at it. It's narrow but wide, a flat-faced 3 story blue colonial with windows on each floor. The back of the house faces vividly green rolling hills, and just past the house I notice another line of buildings. It looks lovely, sitting there on a hill. All the windows are open, with each gust of wind white/yellow striped curtains billow outward.

1/16/13 (dream fragment)
I'm sitting at a round dinner table. Across from me is Liam. It's like a snapshot, the space between breaths, the break in a conversation. We had been talking, but we have since stopped. He's how I saw him in the first dream, wearing a loose white shirt. His hair looks a little more shaggy. He stares hard at the table, head tilted down and a little to the side. He clenches his hand then opens it. He seems frustrated.

1/18/13
I'm in the house again. This time I become aware while standing in the bathroom. The house doesn't have any furniture, the bathroom is bare. Behind me is an elevated tub. The bathroom itself is in the corner of the house, joining two bedrooms. The walls are a pale warm yellow.
"This is the house I was in before." I think, smiling. I walk into the master bedroom. The walls are blue, the trim white. The window to my left is open, and the day outside is bright and cheerful. I become entranced by the wood floors, they're a blonde wood but the grain almost looks like scratches. In a way I'm lucid for this, because I'm aware that the floor doesn't look quite right. The more I focus on it the more realistic it becomes.

1/19/13
I've returned to the house. I become aware while standing in the living room. Just like in the other dreams I'm standing in a spot where I can see into a couple other rooms. To my left I can see the entry hall and a small room right next to it. In front of me is a short hallway and en exit door. I can also see the side of the stairs going up to the second floor. I know that across from the stairs to the left is the kitchen, but I haven't been in there yet.
"I'm here again." I think. My return makes me happy, but I can't quite say why.
It's no house I have ever actually been to. I turn around to look out the window behind me...

I'm in a sort of hotel. All the shelves, trim, and tables are deep walnut and almost look black. I turn to put something in one of the mail cubbies and I hear a voice. There are two maids standing at the counter, intercepting a message. The man standing on the other side of the counter reminds me, achingly, of Liam. His face structure doesn't seem right, but his personality fits. He is sharply dressed, a black vest over a white shirt and black slacks. I try to get his attention, I can actually FEEL myself turning into a moron. (Well...not literally)
The women keep getting in the way, they think he's attractive and don't want me to talk to him. I stand off to the side, frowning. I see myself as though I'm standing right behind myself, so the side of my face, and the way my hair is pinned up. The fact that it's curly and black and not really my own anymore. While he's talking to them I doubt that he looks like Liam at all. I give up trying to get his attention, which just seems to get his attention.
"Sorry, I've got other messages to run. I'll come back by before I leave town." His eyes slide from the other two women to me as he's turning to leave and gives me a crooked smile. The familiarity of it strikes me hard, he's gone before I can react.

(I don't know why I bothered making this a thread, I should've just done a Dream Journal entry =/ oh well)
Okay so I dream that I'm leaving work. It's raining outside, and it's really dark. I come to a four way stop and then I realize I'm not in a car, and that if I want I can just run through traffic to get where I want to go. I look left and then right. There's a semi-truck turning very slowly and across from me a car arrives at the stop sign there. I'm afraid he'll just cut through traffic so I turn right and run down the street. I decide I can run where I want, so I leap up onto the sidewalk and ignore the light, since I'm not in a car I don't have to obey traffic laws. As I'm running I can feel the rain soaking through my clothes.
I come to an alley, and on the ground I find the book I'm reading IRL. I pick it up, I have no idea how long it's been sitting in the rain, but it's soggy. I hope it's not entirely ruined. I climb up a fire escape a little ways down the alley. It's then I realize I'm not myself, I'm a teenage boy. I wonder briefly why I would be leaving work so late, or even if I'd be allowed to work at my age. My subconscious comes up with a plot hole filler: the world has become so expensive to live in that they lowered the age requirement for most places. A girl I work with lives in the house I'm climbing in to.
I worry because I know her parents wouldn't be happy if they found a boy in her room. I go through the window, open her door and see a flight of stairs immediately outside. I can see the front door from here. I make a run for it. The girl comes around the corner and gasps in shock.
"What are you doing here? You can't be here!"
"I know, I'm sorry. It's just that--"
Her mom shows up. She looks over my shoulder and I know she's looking at the open door to her daughter's room.
"Were you hiding a boy in your room?"
"No momma."
"Really?"
I cut in, "I'm sorry, I just left work and it was raining and--"
The woman narrows her eyes at me.
"What's in your backpack?"
I hand it to her. She starts rifling through it, I have no idea what she expects to find. She pulls out my lunch, it's a peanut butter and jelly sandwich still in the ziploc bag. She makes fun of it, poking at it and squeezing it until the peanut butter comes out. She brushes past me and goes up to her daughter's room. I try to follow her to explain what I was doing here, but by the time I get there she's playing the piano under the open window. She's singing in a high pitched voice:
"Liiiiiiiittttttlllleee sandwiiiich! Littttttllllleeee PEAAAAAANNUUUUT SAAAAAAAANDUWIIIIIIICH!!!"
Somehow I know she's making fun of me. I turn away to talk to my friend.
"Don't mind her, she gets like that sometimes...quick! Leave while she's still distracted!"

I only ever see a part of the city I live in. It's huge, with wild swaths of forest around residential areas, and divided by a wide river. I follow Sam into his apartment, in the dream he's my co-worker but in the waking world I haven't seen him in years. We gather here after work sometimes, but this time I see many people I don't know. I round a corner and Sam is lifting pizzas from delivery boxes and laying them out on platters.
"There's enough for everyone." He says. For some reason I feel unwelcome. A narrow room runs alongside the kitchen, like it's the top bar in the letter T. I step into the kitchen feeling uncertain. The kitchen is dimly lit, with white tile floors and two short lengths of cabinets, all white. On the left is a set of cabinets with the sink, on the right is the stove.
There's a man in there, he reminds me vaguely of a guy I knew back when I knew Sam IRL. The resemblance does not please me at all. It's something in the shape of his nose and the way he speaks. He's dressed all in black too, just like Jason, but his hair is cut short.
"What are you doing?" He asks me rudely.
"Um...he said there's--"
"He didn't mean YOU." He shoves a serving tool into a plastic container with a couple inches of water, under a slice of pizza. It looks odd, like it's not fully baked and there are no toppings. He smears what looks like chocolate over the top. The whole thing grosses me out.
"I didn't realize..." I decide to leave, the food isn't appealing anyway. I brush past him out the door on the other side of the kitchen. Apparently he can't just let me leave, he has to follow me, all the while making comments.
"People like you, it's unbelievable! How you just worm your way in anywhere, no matter what anyone else thinks."
I walk a little more quickly but he keeps pace with me, and I don't want to actually run.
"This is a gathering for his CLOSE friends and family. His sister, and ME who is her fiance. Do you see where you fit in there?" He asks, chuckling meanly. "Because I don't." He pauses. "Really, I want to know."
I run the last few steps to the door, someone is on their way in so I pretend I'm trying to catch it before it swings shut. I do. I even almost make it out with my pride, but I turn to him and I do something. I can't even remember what it is, some sort of insult that sounded better in my head, a petty jibe, or a slap, maybe I shove the door at him. I don't know, but it makes me feel childish and unjustified.

I leave, feeling like I'm going to cry. The city is built in tiers, outside this level of the apartment is a wide pale cement walkway with a curved metal rail. Behind me the walk slopes downward. I'm heading toward the bridge though. Sam and several of my co-workers have followed me out, there are maybe 5 of them, including his sister who looks nothing like him. Sam has dark hair and eyes and olive-toned skin. He's wearing a grey t-shirt that has a smiley face on the front. His sister, is more pale and has shining blonde hair pulled back into a pony-tail.
It makes me happy that they cared enough to come after me. For a second I doubt that notion, I wonder: are they here to ask how or why I've upset Richard?
"Hey, you heading out?" He asks, it's not like me to leave without saying goodbye.
"Yeah, it's just..."
"We heard, we're going to have a talk with Rich about how he interacts with people." Sam says, glancing over his shoulder, hands on his hips.
"We just wanted to make sure you're okay." His sister says, smiling at me.
"Yes, thank you. I just wasn't prepared for other people to be there." I'm tempted to tell him his brother-in-law reminds me of Jason, but I don't want him to think (in any way whatsoever) that I spend any of my time thinking about him so I keep it to myself.
"We'll get together again later."
"Okay."
They go back to the apartment, I continue on my way to the bridge, feeling better.
The bridge descends, becoming a set of stairs. It lets out into a park of sorts, more like a plaza. There are many of these around the city. This level is a little closer to the water (though we are one above the bottom level), the plaza is filled with tables and benches where people have gathered to relax. There's a wall across from me with wavy metal bars from end to end. There are 8 sections of bars, none of the bars line up with the bars in the section to either side. There are places where they hug the wall closely, and others where they bow out. They're painted white, pink, and yellow. I see what the others are doing, storyline dictates that I've played the game before, I only have a moment where I don't remember how.
The wall sits at the center of the plaza, there are curved ramps on either side, connecting the bottom tier with the tables, to the top tier with benches sheltered by trees. Many people lean on this wall, the bars are a couple feet below the lip, though at each end (the starting points) the wave of the bars is level with it. I take a moment to enjoy the view. From here you can see an entire level of switch-back city. It's beautiful.
I climb over the top of the wall and drop down at the center of the bars. I can feel them under my hands. You have to dodge all the other people playing but you must move constantly, as much to keep up the rules as to avoid getting hit. There's a girl heading my way, I drop down a couple bars and sidle over a step. A man appears next to me, so I leap up a few bars as he's taking the spot I just occupied. I can actually feel my muscles, the bars under my shoes and in my hands, the air moving around me, and each breath of cool air I draw into my lungs. I make it to the left side without hitting anyone and start to make my way to the right.


There's a lapse, I become aware again, I'm laying on my side sandwiched between two people. I don't remember how I got here, and I'm afraid. Especially once I hear them talking. The man pressed to my front, the top of his head level with my chest, sounds like Spike from Buffy, I can even make out his leather trench coat and the peroxide blonde hair...he doesn't have a face though. His head is a blob with hair, given a little structure by his skull. He's talking to his wife, the woman pressed to my back. My arms are pinned to my sides, and their legs are twined through mine. I can't move.
"Darling, I think I'm turning." He says, sounding excited.
I get an image of the woman as she begins to speak, like I'm seeing one of his memories. She's standing in a doorway, wearing a sexy nurse costume complete with nurse hat, she's wearing her blonde hair in pigtails. I realize somehow that she is Sam's sister. She's like an ugly Harley Quinn without makeup. She kinda looks undead. There's bruising around her mouth and eyes, the inside of her mouth past her teeth looks dark and oily. Her skin has an unhealthy purplish cast.
"Good," she begins, in this image I see. They've had this conversation before. "You can turn, and then you'll turn me and I'll be healed!"
"Yes dear, but first, I have to feed."
"Well, we have your meal right here don't we?"
I struggle against them and they laugh. "Good, she's awake."
I have a frustrating moment where I know I'm dreaming but I don't think I can do anything about my situation, like there's no feasible way for me to break free so I can't implement my lucidity. He presses his featureless face to my throat, and somehow bites me, though he doesn't have a mouth. He seems to be having trouble. Before I can hurt him, he needs a face I think, and his face gains features. I somehow wrestle my arms free as he's shifting to get a better biting angle, and I box his ears as hard as I can. He screams in pain. The woman seems to be too undead to do anything to me.
As I'm fleeing from the bed, Spike sicks one of his friends on me. It's a cat about the size of a fox, it snarls at me. It looks vicious. It stands between me and the sliding door on the north wall. I run across the room, striding across the mattress to do it, and head for a railing that overlooks the tunnel. Each floor has one of these, where you can lean over and look down the stairway tunnel. I dive headlong over the polished wood rail. They had crafted this for easy traversing, there are polished wood bars running from the top floor to the bottom. Not all one bar, but sections of them. I right myself as I grab one of these bars and start sliding. The game I played earlier helps me here, it makes my instincts sharp. Before one bar can end I leap to another, and another.
"Well, GET HER!" I hear him yell.
I smirk to myself. The cat creature is catching up with me, it even tries to grab me by leaping from one side of the stair tunnel to the other, but I'm too fast. Instead of taking the bars on the last ten foot drop, I let go. I land in a crouch then make for the door. I run outside and slam the door in the cat's face, laughing just to rankle her. Since she's a cat, it's not like she can open it, she'll have to wait on the vampire to get it for her. I flee. I'm not really concerned, I know she's as vicious as they come, but I'm faster...and if she catches me, well, I'll just have to find a way to deal with it.

I'm on the top tier of the city. It's high enough that there are clouds drifting by. I hear the door open behind me. Oops, better get going. I look over the wall. There are trees that have grown so tall, their crowns press against the bottom of each layer, the branches grow toward the sun, hugging the wall. Well, I guess that's my way down. This next part is kind of a blur. I remember dropping over the side, and using the vines (I can feel the texture of them and the smooth coolness under my palms) and tree branches to descend. At one point I slip and fall, I'm caught in the arms of a massive cherry blossom tree. The limbs are about as wide as I am, with the tiny beginnings for flowers for the season. It creaks in the wind, but my weight is not enough to bother it. I can even smell the flowers. I consider trying to jump to the other massive branch to my right, and then realize just how high up I am. The wind is sweet, I hug the branch and relax a moment. The clouds clear and the river far below is hazy. Nope. I am NOT jumping.
You'll be fine. My subconscious whispers. Logic tells me I will not, so I climb back to the base of the tree.

There's another lapse. I'm almost to the bottom tier. The river is on a hill, the only way to get to the heart of the city is to swim or take a boat. I can hear the cat behind me, I know now that she's a shapeshifter. I slip into the water hoping that will deter her. She follows me without hesitation. I climb out on the slightly lower level and the people there gasp in horror at the creature. They have never seen one before.
"Stay in line beside me, she will not harm you. I'm her target."
The people line up by a wall. People ahead see what is happening where I am and they line up on either side. The streets, I notice, are cobbled.
Whispers meet me as I run, "She's here." they say, "She's leading the Beast.", "Make the way ready." I can see a stone archway, the people have made a human barrier, and before that there is an...obstruction. I'm not sure how to describe it. It's actually an offering, I know I'm supposed to walk on the top of it. The people take my hands and help me hop on top of it, since the thing is about chest high. The base is made of loose pink stone bricks, the top has pastries on plates. A woman, I know she's a tour guide for the city, hands me a piece of pastry as I walk. I pop it into my mouth.
Something strikes me, a think I know the people will see as very symbolic. As I reach the end of the walkway, I grab a raspberry and cream cheese pastry. I tear it in half, I wait until the Shapeshifter is at the end of the walkway, she sniffs at it but does not get onto it. She eyes me uncertainly. I hold out half of the pastry. When she takes it and eats it, I eat my half. She almost looks more dog-like, with a brown/black brindled coat, and narrow muzzle.
Together we pass under the arch into a tiny courtyard. There's a house wedged between all the other houses with a robin's egg blue door. I go inside, she follows.
Once she passes the threshold, she becomes human. I don't know if she's forced to, or if she has a choice. but I have not seen her yet.
"Of course you would lead me here."
"Of course." I agree.
"Why?"
"Why not? I need to know the story, from your lips. You've murdered people for your master, here we will determine your fate." I reply.
She looks a little smug as I turn to face her. She has some sort of white garment with big pockets all over it. Kittens leap down from several of them, I know they are her children. She removes the carrier. Kind of like a tabard. She's willowy, has a tiny frame, with long bronze-brown hair.
"So arrogant, all of you."
"Maybe, but I don't murder people."
"What exactly do you think they'll do to me once they've heard my story?"
"Prison, probably. We'll decide that once we know your...caliber."
"Fine. My husband and I have the ability to shift for a day each year. This year we spent as animals. He shifted first and said to me, 'let's have children', so I said 'why not' and followed suit. My master put us into service, keeping my husband and children hostage if we did not do his bidding. But I won't lie, mostly because I can't at the heart of the city, I enjoyed every moment of it. I'd kill you all if I thought I could get away with it."
Two people appear and lead her (and her children) through a bright red door at the back of the property...

AAAAAAND my phone rings, waking me up.

In the beginning of the dream I'm driving. The highway is pressed up against the foot of a cliff, we stop at a stoplight and the street sign overhead says "Disneyland". We talk about how they can't believe they built a park here, in the middle of nowhere, and wonder what it'll be like.

I'm running across a frozen beach, heading toward the water. I'm rushing to catch the boat to the amusement park. I have to wade through the water and it's ridiculously cold. There's a small lapse and I'm on the boat. The people running the boat don't seem human. There's a woman explaining to me that they live out on the ice, that it's so cold they can no longer keep their children. I see a crying blue baby left out by the water. They hope that someday the cruelty of the Northern Gods will allow them to return to the known world and once more have children.
I look past her and see a woman, I know she's a queen by her bearing, when I first see her she is finely dressed. I glance away and look at her again and she's wearing a crown. The others eye her distrustfully, she had picked up one of the babies from the ice and is holding it. They believe she's defying the will of the gods.

We reach the park. Like many dreams, this place feels like it's inside and outside at once. There are walls and a floor, but the sky is open. There are tables everywhere, and a wrought-iron fence bordering the activities area. I know I'm supposed to meet my family. I don't see dad anywhere, but he's the only one who doesn't know about my misfortune and I wanted to tell him before we all sat down to dinner. I go into the dining area and find my sister sitting at a table. I try to explain that I need to find dad but she's having trouble hearing me.


Mario and Peach(?)
I'm watching a scene from above. Mario (full-on cartoon Mario) walks around a corner, he's looking for his wife. Peach is standing there but she's a brunette and she's dressed all in red. As Mario walks his appearance changes, and becomes more like a real person. He's not Mario at all but a king, and his wife is the queen from the boat. She tells him she's pregnant but she's worried about his reaction because they haven't been intimate in a long time. She's afraid he'll think she's cheated.
Her worries are unfounded, he believes her immediately and supplies a new theory. Now they're standing in a cave etched with glyphs and lit by torches.
"Have you considered that maybe this is the will of the Northern Gods? You crossed their waters, and while they are cruel to the Ice Dwellers, they have always first been gods of fertility."

non-lucid
sleep paralysis

I've gone back to the medical center, it's Monday morning. I can't remember if they need me to get blood drawn in the morning or if they were just going to do it at the appointment that evening. I figure going anyway can't hurt, so I go. When I get there, people are gathering for a hallowing costume contest. A scary and annoying woman that I recognize from work (not really) is wearing a dark green robe with bright green-yellow stars on it, there are flames on the arms, and she has a cardboard box on her head with a picture of a witch's face on the front.
"I'm sure I'll win!"
Another costume goes by, for a second it makes complete sense then it doesn't make any. Two people dressed as Dracula are carrying a tall cardboard booth. It's height is even with theirs, the top of the booth has a cutout with a red velvet curtain fringed in gold. There's a face there, some politician. When they duck their heads into the flaps on the sides, the politician looks terrified and then starts to bleed. They talk about how genius their costume prop is.

I start to get a headache. I go upstairs where they're supposed to be drawing my blood. I briefly talk to the girl at the end of the hall, she tells me I'll have to come back in a few hours, but if I want I can rest in the room to my right.
"Do you have anything for this headache?"
"Sure, take this." she hands me a syringe full of opaque bright green liquid. I wonder if it'll even work on me.
"It should also help you sleep."
"Alright, thank you."

I walk into the resting room, which looks like my parent's room from the house I grew up in. Sort of how I saw it as a kid, that the bed takes up almost the entire floor and has a thin red velvet cover. I lay down as far from the door as I can get and I wonder if I should even take what's in the syringe. While I'm thinking, the ugly witch comes in and lays down. She says she doesn't have long before the costume party starts, but she wants to rest.
I start to feel strange, my abdomen is cramping then turns into a sharp pain, my head feels heavy. I start to worry that I'm having a miscarriage. I'm laying on the bed and I can only move sluggishly. I turn my head, wondering if the witch will notice I'm distressed, since I can't speak.
She does, she leaves yelling for help.
A man comes in, he's dressed in too-small clothes, he's overweight and has greasy curling black hair.
"I heard someone like you was in here. You're my favorite, all helpless. The best part about you is your spine." He climbs onto the bed and straddles me, pinning me down. He makes a grab for my wrists and I start fighting, as slow as I feel he's even slower. I claw at his face but he sits back out of my reach.
Then I remember the syringe. I fumble for it and find it under the covers. I pull it out and make to stab him but he slaps it from my hand.
"You stay right there...I'll be back for you."
He disappears out the door.
I struggle to move and only manage to roll over. I crawl out of bed and find the syringe, the needle has popped off. I find it and twist it back on. I can hear him coming back so I go and hide under the covers with the syringe in my hand....

The dream breaks off into another kind. I'm shopping, my boyfriend is with me. I glance down and realize I somehow have words imprinted on the crook of my left arm.
"I love Liam"
I'm afraid my boyfriend will see, I cover the imprint with my right hand and cross my arms.

non-lucid
lucid


The dream picks up and I'm in a mall, I know the stores are about to close. There are three across from me, one on the far left has strange bright colored dresses on display high in the window, the store in the middle looks empty and is already dark, the one on the right has mannequins on the floor in vibrant blue and green shirts. I can't imagine myself wearing anything they have there, but I know time is short and I need to look anyway.
I go into the store on the right, the floor, ceiling and walls are all blinding white. I can't find anything I want to wear, everything looks strangely shaped. I don't recall going into the other store, but somehow I know that both stores have the same clothing just in different colors.

In the next dream I'm buying Olympic Maximum Solid Deck Stain ((I don't know, I work for Lowe's in the paint department but I haven't mixed that in a long time....and I don't have a deck.)), I've shared a blue flat cart with another customer and for a minute I'm afraid that I'll get charged for what they have on the cart. It seems my worry is needless, the cashier at the next register takes the other customer's stuff from my cart. For some reason they mix the stain at the register, there's a paint dispenser and everything right underneath the monitor. Unfortunately the cashier can't figure out how to mix it even though I have a 5 gallon lid with the formula on it. I show him the lid, it also has a sheet of paper with my boyfriend's name written on it in sharpie. I have no trouble reading it. The guy dispenses the formula but as he's about to charge me for it he 'accidentally' dispenses 96 shots of white, somehow turning the red I wanted into a grey.
"Why did you do that?"
"The machine made me." He says, but I saw how he had just hit keys and instead of it taking him to checkout it took him to the dispense screen. While I'm standing there waiting I look doubtfully down at the 5gal containers, I wonder if I should be lifting them. Maybe I can get someone to do it for me....?
A guy I used to work with comes up to talk to me. He looks sad, behind him the daylight coming in through the exit doors is bright and warm. The store itself is dark, like it's about to close...but it's the middle of the day.
"I guess you've heard the news?"
"Yes," I lie because I feel like I should have heard it. "I was going to call you..."
"It's alright, I didn't expect you to."
I'm reminded of an event that happened just after I left that job, how his girlfriend died along with the baby she was carrying because of pneumonia.
"Things will get better." I say, patting him on the back.
"They already have."
I look at the cashier, he's frowning at the bucket of stain. I'm really annoyed, the trip shouldn't have taken this long. I decide I'll go and get another of the base I need. I think I'll only need one, but then he somehow screws up the second 5gal. I leave, cutting back through the store.

The store is bigger than it should be and when I turn the corner on one of the aisles I realize I'm not just in Lowe's, I'm in a mall. I forget what I'm looking for, I know I've come to this place before in other mall dreams. I stare down one of the vast halls, past all the stores, trying to remember what I was doing. I realize if I just keep going the hallways will circle around to where I started, maybe I'll just explore until I remember why I was here. I see a bookstore, I pass it. I keep walking until I find a wide stone tunnel ending in a domed circular room. The walls are all rough black stone with electric blue sigils carved deeply into them. The only light is a fire next to a muscular dark-skinned man stripped to the waist, wearing black leather bracers, sharpening a sword.
Straight across from doorway is a stone wall that bows toward me, on either side of it are deep alcoves. Neither of them have doorways. I examine the alcove to the left of the bowed wall. I'm extremely annoyed.
"Come all this way and there's a dead end?"
I say this and realize I'm directing it at the man.
"It's not a dead end, look closely at that wall and you'll see the truth of it."
I go back to the wall and I notice a hairline crack running from top to bottom. I lightly push on one side and it swings open. It wasn't a wall, it was a door. I step into the room, I decide I want to take off my shoes. I try to do this without looking but even though I complete the motion the shoe won't leave my foot.
I look down at my feet and see I'm wearing a white dress with tiny bouquets of rainbow colored flowers all over it along with pink beaded slippers. Once I look at them, the action is easy. I peel the slippers from my feet leaving behind hot pink lint, on one of my feet this has also removed a coat of nail polish from the middle toe on my left foot. I know this should concern me, but I decide not to follow the dream. I toss the slippers aside.
There's a small button shaped like an egg cut in half and sticking out of the wall. It's made of pieces of plastic. I twist the pieces into place so it forms a whole egg top and I push it. A section of wall slides away and disappears, revealing a curving staircase. I can't see what's at the bottom. I know that this is the way to the Room.
Then I wake up.

In the dream I was recounting a dream I had to some other people, but it wasn't a dream I've actually had. In the dream I'm describing, moon priests dressed all in white sit me down at a table. When they think I'm not looking they shoot each other looks, like everything is going exactly as planned. They know (I don't) that I've been infected with a deadly virus, but I'm just a carrier. A woman comes into the room to talk to me, she sits down at the table and I take her hand and read her future. She gets up and leaves, around the corner and out of my sight she collapses in fits. In less than a minute she is covered in thick green foul-smelling lesions. She screams and tries to claw at the priests but they have her by the upper arms and wrists, then drag her away.
"It was like they wanted me to infect people, but I can't say why they'd want that. They're priests, shouldn't they want to contain the virus? Had I know, I never would have stayed."

I'm at my boyfriend's mother's house watching the dog for her while she's away. I fall asleep on the couch.
There's a a faint buzzing that grows louder when I tilt my head back. I recognize the noise and the heaviness in my limbs for sleep paralysis. I wonder what it would be like if I couldn't control it and remember how frightening it used to be. I entertain the thought that I can convince myself I really can't move and that it will lock me in the dream. Out of the corner of my eye I see a large spider on the top of the couch. It's red and blends in with the throw on the back cushions.
I jar myself awake, then allow myself to drift off. Then I fight it and twitch my hand. I snap briefly into awareness and then fall asleep again.
The buzzing gets louder. I get stuck, thinking I've fallen asleep with one eye open, and that is a doorway into letting my spirit walk from my body, I try to grasp the feeling. It feels pointed. Precise. Small. Like knowing that if I can still see the world, I will dream into it instead of into my head. I lose track of the thought and I close my eyes, now they are both open and I'm dreaming. I realize it's a dream when I see that my boyfriend's mother is home and making dinner in the living room, there are three ovens in there and she confuses me by putting plates of sandwiches in each one.
I hear the dog's claws clicking on the floor as he gets up and leaves the room. My limbs still feel heavy.
More buzzing. I think I can hear music but when I try to focus on it the sound loses distinction.

I'm in a church. I rush into the bathroom, thinking I have time to freshen up before it begins. The bathroom is narrow and dim with red and gold carpet. There are accent plants on either side of the wide vanity that takes up one wall. I stare into the mirror, thankful in one breath that I have recently trimmed my hair, and then annoyed that one layer of it refuses to stop cow-licking up no matter what I do to it. I lean close to the mirror, examining my face. It looks a little different but the differences please me. I start to worry about my clothes. I'm wearing a long black strapless dress, and I'm afraid that it won't fit the occasion. I'm attending my own wedding, after all.

I feel like someone has surprised me with the event, or that it slipped my mind, or that I thought I was at the church for another reason. I worry that I don't have any dress shoes, then remember some ugly black ones that I have in my car that will have to do.
(http://ak1.ostkcdn.com/images/produc.../P14797327.jpg kind of like those, except the elastic band is twice that width.)

Someone knocks on the door to tell me everything is ready, by the time I open the door they've gone ahead of me. I trail after them into the sanctuary. All the preparations for my wedding were done without me, none of it feels real. The sanctuary reminds me of one of the churches I went to when I was a kid, except more compact. They have hung crystals from the light fixtures and run white and black ribbon across the pews. It's pretty, I guess. I worry again that my dress is too plain. The left side of the room is just a wide walkway, so that there's only one length of pews. There are twelve bridesmaids, and they are all my boyfriend's female cousins/spouses of cousins. It bothers me that none of my family is there. They are all dressed more extravagantly than myself, in ankle length white tulle dresses with a black sash around the waist. The black sashes make me think maybe my dress isn't so out of place.

There's a guy named Rio talking, I don't know why he's here and I hate him. He's talking loudly to my boyfriend's family, alluding that since we have been together so long (seven years in real life), the marriage will begin without purity, and is ill-fated. It annoys me, because it isn't any of his business. I don't tell him that though, I just walk from the front of the aisle to the back, between the bridesmaids. I notice a woman laying in one of the pews, she's the only one not dressed for a wedding. At first it looks like one of my boyfriend's family, but the closer I get the more she looks like my friend Laura. She's very pregnant, and she says she just wanted to see me once before the baby is born. I lean down and hug her, then leave the sanctuary.

I'm suddenly back in the bathroom. I've willed myself there. I'm still worried about my shoes, and think I might have time to go get more suitable ones from home. I close my eyes and concentrate on home, then clap my hands once sharply. I open my eyes and find myself standing in a parking garage (definitely nowhere near home). A faded dark blue car pulls up next to me, and the driver orders me to get in. I'm being kidnapped by strangers.
When I get into the back seat there's a man there, I don't know him either. I close my eyes and concentrate and clap my hands, but nothing happens.
"What's wrong with you?" he asks rudely.
"The clap-teleport isn't working."
"The what?" He looks at me like I'm nuts.
"You know, where you concentrate on your destination and clap to teleport there."
"Sure, whatever sweetheart."

Then I woke up.