Wandering in Dream Debris.

This took place a few days ago, but I forgot to record it. I had an interesting WILD experience that took me in and out of the dream world as I struggled to stay lucid, it went like this:

I wake up and look around my room with a great sense of heavy sleepiness. I decide I'll try to WILD, so I close my eyes and in seconds I feel a huge rush and hear a loud wave of white noise consume me.

I see nothing but darkness but know I've entered the dreamworld, so I breathe gently and relax and wait for the dream to form. I hear my dad in the distance, he's calling on my brother and his wife to come over to the living room because dinner was ready.

I begin to feel the dream... space... but I try to open my dream eyes, because it feels like I have them closed.I open my actual eyes very slowly and see my room and quickly shut them. I try again but again I keep opening my real eyes, so I decide to keep them closed again.

His wife says "aren't you coming?" and he says "no not yet, I'm waiting". He didn't specify he was waiting for me but I knew that's what he meant. She leaves the room, not that I can see anything, I just hear them and feel their presence.

I decide to try one more time to open my eyes and suddenly visuals come in and my brother sees me, "Hey there you are!" he says. I'm stunned at how this is unfolding, because although I was lucid, it was odd to see how he reacted to my entering into the world.

"Hey! I'm lucid dreaming, how cool is this?!" I say, and he just nods his head agreeing with me, but doesn't seem entirely convinced. I describe further "I mean, you aren't real! This is just a dream, but man it feels real" I remember to try to enhance my lucidity by touching the carpet and feeling the walls, to enhance my senses.

When I look up at my brother he looks disappointed, and I know why. "Wait, I didn't mean it like that! You're still real... I mean you have a real version of you in waking life, but you're like a duplicate! We can still fly around and stuff!" I was saddened a bit too that I hurt my brother's feelings even though I knew he was a DC, it made me upset because he was the one who told me about LDing in the first place.

The more I try to explain to him he just seems to lose interest and become more and more depressed of his only virtual existence. And before I know it my words begin to slur and mix up, while he barely seems to be listening, and the dream fades and I wake up.

It was very interesting going in and out of the dream and waking reality, it's a fascinating feeling. I'm glad for once I tried a new technique to stabilize the dream, but was quickly outwitted by my subconscious to spend too much time convincing DC's that I was in a dream. Oh well, good experience all around.

So this was disturbing. It was a nightmare not in a fearful sense, but the contents of the dream caused me great discomfort, even upon waking.

I had a dream that for reasons unknown to me, I was supposed to move a dog and 2 cats from a cage they were in, to a blanket outside on the grass. It was horrific because they were sliced in half, yet still ALIVE AND BREATHING, their two halves only hanging on by their spine, which was not cut. So as I'm holding the cats i feel their two halves in various weights shifting up and down in my grasp but they're light so I kept them pretty steady. At one point when I returned for the dog, one of the cats got up and was trying to walk and his guts were slowly drooping out. The dog, being heavier was insanely disturbing and depressing to move because I couldn't seem to find a balance in his two halves, they just kept shifting up and down between my arms and his wiggling was not helping.

I wanted nothing more than to kill them to put them out of their misery, but I just couldn't sum up the ability to do it. I woke up feeling nauseous and with a greater sense and urge for living with a vegetarian or vegan diet. The dogs whimpers still haunt me.