non-lucid

I am in an office, speaking to a woman named Esmeralda. She is an extremely sexy woman who resembles Olivia Munn. Our conversation is centered on the planning of some unknown function. My brother suddenly manifests in the office, dressed in a suit. We begin fighting for reasons I cannot recall. The fighting escalates to the point where my brother removes his shoes and throws them at me. I duck down as they hit the wall. We punch and kick each other in blind fury. I use loud profanity and order him to get out of the office. Esmeralda calmly watches this from her desk. My brother leaves and goes upstairs (there is a hotel above the office). As he leaves, another lady enters the office. Her name is Maria. She is the office "project manager", and she is also very attractive. I go outside to make sure my brother is gone from the premises. I am still out of breath from all the punching and kicking and it feels like my face is bleeding.

As I wander outside, I see a concrete hexagonal chute and decide to look inside it for my brother. But I get stuck when I turn around and try to exit it, and I can't return to the office. I see a fat woman pass by, heading towards to office door. I call to her from inside the chute for assistance. She pauses and looks stupidly at me. I tell her to go inside and get Esmeralda. She runs in the building, but soon comes back to tell me Esmeralda is gone. She then begins to flirt with me by crossing her legs and twirling her hair and smiling. I ask her to please go try to find someone -- I am stuck. She sticks her head in the door and calls for Maria. I tell her, "No! We need to find Esmeralda!" Recall fades. Dreamt 1/14/2017

I am working at an old funeral home in New Braunfels, Texas -- my old place of employment IRL. I am back on call with the other funeral directors and embalmers, rotating the nightly death calls. I am in the prep room (the place where all the embalming and cosmetic restoration goes on) talking with my co-workers and they are glad to have me back. I too am glad to be back. I am looking forward to embalming again (embalming was very relaxing and even therapeutic for me IRL). One thing keeps nagging at me: my embalming and funeral director licenses are all expired. I never renewed them after I left the industry three years ago. I now regret letting them expire.

I leave the funeral home on a motorcycle. This motorcycle has manifested before in other dreams (I do not drive a motorcycle IRL). I drive out to the country to be by the water. I roll up to a gothic-style iron fence. The fence has sharp spears on the rails and it surrounds a heavily-wooded estate. The mansion of the estate is located deep within the woods somewhere. A man suddenly appears at the fence. He is a brown-skinned Latino guy who reminds me of Paco Hewlette, a Puerto Rican kid who once lived next door to me. He is the neighbor of whoever lives behind the iron gate. He invites me over to his place. I park the motorbike beside the iron gate and walk over to his house, which is right on the water. He has a dirty swimming pool in the back of his house next to the lake. He invites me into the pool. As I sit across from him in his dirty pool, I see that the water in the pool is actually crystal-clear; it only looks dirty because there are strange dark objects floating in it. I am not able to define what these "things" are, but they do not defile the water. We are safe, and the water is clean. I am very relaxed. We are drinking good beer from glass bottles and smoking Cuban cigars.

I hear a noise and look over to see a city parade going down the road where I had parked my motorbike. There are all kinds of exotic animals in this parade: horses, llamas, goats, bears, elephants. The animals are dressed up in brilliant gold costumes and march down the road in obedient precision. I realize this is Paco's parade (or whatever the name of this dream character in the pool with me is). The house, the land, the gate, the animals all belong to Paco's father. There are people gathering along the sides of the road with cameras, and spectators are stopping their cars to get a glimpse of the parade. Suddenly, people are everywhere. This parade, it turns out, is a big event and it happens at this time every year. It's a famous parade, a staple of the community. Looking at all the exotic animals march down the road, I turn to my friend in the pool and say, "I guess this what you can do when you have more money than you know what to do with." Fade recall.

Other isolated fragments from the night include:

(1) I am with a friend walking around in the "underground district" of some unknown city. We are trying to get into a mysterious club after hours. The outer walls are made of stone, and the archway entrance resembles a Mediterranean garden (2) I am driving around the same city with a short-haired pug dog on my lap. I love the dog. He feels good and warm on my lap and he really enjoys me petting him. (3) I am in an apartment on a military base somewhere. Suddenly, from out in the distance, I hear a loud "Oorah!" as someone guns an engine and a car peels away. Marines are here on the post, apparently, and there is a party going on somewhere. Dreamt 1/09/2017

I am at a bowling alley/pool hall with family and in-laws and friends. A Hispanic couple is sitting across the table from me and my daughter. They do not talk to us. I've seen them before, perhaps in other dreams. They brought a transistor radio with them. It is under the table. When they get up from the table to go great someone, my daughter accidentally hits the "play" button with her leg and the radio starts blaring Tejano music.

I notice the couple turning around to look back at our table while shaking someone's hand. I am embarrassed. As the man returns to the table to turn off his radio, I try to apologize to him in Spanish and explain how my daughter's leg hit the play button by accident. But the only thing I could manage in Spanish is "La pierna de mi hija" (my daughter's leg), and point apologetically to her foot and then to the radio. He stares at me with a confused expression and says nothing. I ask another man sitting next to us to please help translate what happened. He leans forward and explains to the man with the radio in Spanish what I was trying to convey. The man nods and then understands it was an accident. He goes back to his wife. The man who translated now wants to engage me in conversation, but I am not interested in talking to him. Fade recall. Dreamt 1/09/2017

I am looking into a special monitor that tracks people via a hidden camera as they enter and exit a room. As I look into the monitor I suddenly see a couple of Mexican girls enter a hospital room from a camera underneath a bed. As I continue to watch the girls, they begin to morph into my own children. Fade recall.

I am given a gift of a solid 24 ounce gold bar by a black man who resembles the Rev. Jesse Jackson. He tells me that in time I can use the gold bar to insert myself into a FPS video game as the hero-shooter, but, as he says, "You'll have to work up to it." With the bar in my hand, I walk out on a balcony to see my children using it (the gold bar teleported from my hand to theirs) for a carnival game. They fasten it to the "Hit the Bell with the Hammer" game, as the metal piece that slides up to bang the bell when they hit the pad with the hammer. Fade recall.

I am observing a lady sitting by a lake who wants to be alone with a book. A friend soon joins her, and they both walk out on the frozen lake and sit on the ice. I decide to join them. I've brought a ball with me. I kick it hard and it sails far away. The lady with the book gets up to retrieve the ball. Fade recall.

Dreamt 1/06/2017

I am flying in an airplane, way up above South Florida, and I can see the coastline of the Atlantic Ocean below me. The terrain lines keep changing every time I look out the window. Almost as if the land beneath me is alive and morphing and moving like some kind of wide, flat monster. I decide to land the plane and investigate. When I get out of the plane, I am joined by a minister of a Pentecostal church. As we both look down at the dream representation of the Florida coastline, the minister proceeds in "straightening out" and manipulating the terrain, as though the shape of the coastline were liquid or made of hair. He uses a knife to cut off and trim unneeded portions of the coastline. The unneeded portions are then swept away, like hair clippings on the floor of a barbershop. At this point, my recall fades but I do remember Cake's rendition of Gloria Gaynor's "I Will Survive" playing in my subconscious (and I awaken with this tune playing in my dream ears).

Now, I am with my wife and our two nieces. We are wading in the water inside a little roped-off section of a canal near the pier. It seems we are waiting for someone, and as we wait, we swim. My nieces in the dream are young -- toddler size. IRL they are both in their mid-twenties, but this is how they looked back when they were babies. One of them -- the youngest -- has a floatie and she is kicking around in the water like a duck. My subconscious measures the depth of the water to be 10 ft. My other niece suddenly transforms back to her mature body and goes underwater. My vision underwater is clear and exact. Observing her, I sense she is in danger, and I come to her rescue. I bring her to the side of the pier. As she turns her back to me and lifts herself out of the water, I marvel at her body and think of how she's become sexually active and has already had children. I ruminate this as I think of her younger sister in a floatie beside her, who is still the symbol of innocence. It is a bittersweet, sentimental feeling.

The place where we are swimming is divided into sections designated by color. We are in the "blue" section. This "blue" water area somehow corresponds with the airplane trip and terrain manipulation I dreamt about earlier. The surrounding climate is sub-tropical. I look down and see a mapped coastline similar to the one the Pentecostal minister had manipulated earlier with a knife. Only this one was color-coded. I see different "blue" and "red" designated areas, and I find our "blue" swimming area on it.

I teleport to another section of Florida, this time back to my old childhood home (a dream sign). A pregnant girl is there with me, and we are waiting for someone. With us are three other guys. They are sitting at a table between my old bedroom and the laundry room. I am restless, walking back and forth, to the laundry room, back to my bedroom, back to the laundry room and around the table, over and over again. I tell everyone that while we wait, I'll start drinking. In the dream, I drink beer. Two of the guys at the table are hugging each other, and the other one is now standing behind them. They are friends with the pregnant girl, and although the girl is familiar to me, I do not know who the guys are. Dreamt 1/06/2017

I am inside an airport, watching security people accost Magnus Carlsen, the current world champion of chess. At every turn they are pulling at his shirt and wrestling him against the wall. He is trying to leave the airport to get to his limo. I am told they are attacking him because he is the world champion. The scene at the airport fades and I am teleported to a sports stadium with Garry Kasparov. We are sitting in the front row and watching a chess match take place inside a boxing ring. I hear the announcer say, "Max Dlugy" and it appears Max is a coach for one of the fighters. One of the fighters is sitting on the ground with pink-dyed hair. His native language is German. In turn, this pink-haired fighter is himself a coach -- and he is coaching a female player.

Apparently, this is a match where the coaches are directly involved in the competition. The players fight the players, and the coaches fight the coaches. And each player has a coach and each coach is coached by someone else. It reminds me of an onion, unfolding more and more layers. Or those bulbous Russian Matrioshka dolls, where one doll fits inside another, which fits inside another, which fits inside another, et cetera. Kasparov is standing next to me and I am thinking of joining in the competition, even though I am nowhere near the strength of the other players. But I figure I'll still have a fighting chance, since Garry Kasparov is my coach. Dreamt 1/05/2017

I am at my uncle Dominic's house in West Palm Beach, Florida. The house has long, dimly-lit corridors in the dream -- corridors which do not look like this in reality. There are rooms off these corridors which are also unfamiliar. Guests are over for dinner. I don't know who these people are. I excuse myself to use the downstairs bathroom (there is no "downstairs" in his actual home). There are scorpions crawling around everywhere in the bathroom: all over the floor, on the shower curtain, in the bath tub. There is also a leak in the plumbing and water is pooling up on the ground. I am afraid that if I use the toilet, the bathroom is going to flood even more after I flush it.

I decide to go back upstairs to use the toilet there. On the way upstairs, however, I get sidetracked and venture outside where I run into his neighbor, an African-American lady sleeping on a hammock on her front porch. I awaken her to ask if she would like to have a new roof put on her house. The back of her house sports a beautiful Spanish-style tile roof; the front, however, is missing shingles and has no decking. It looks as though a tornado had destroyed it years ago and it was never fixed. She tells me she is interested. At that point, I remember I had to use the bathroom, so I tell her I can help her get a new roof, but first there was something I needed to do. As I head back over to uncle Dominic's, I notice I am completely nude (a missed dream sign). I am determined now to do two things: use the bathroom, and find my clothes.

As I enter into the house, I pass an Italian-looking guy who looks like he's in the mob. He is talking to my uncle in the kitchen, using his hands to gesticulate. An attractive older woman is standing next to him. I go upstairs and use the bathroom. While sitting on the toilet, I look around and notice all different kinds of clothes hanging from the walls: jeans, slacks, shirts, etc. All the articles of clothing are of the same color and pattern -- red and black striped -- and all the clothing is in pairs. As I am wondering what this means, a young kid enters and says he needs to get his clothes. His clothes are in very close proximity to me; some of the articles are even touching my legs and arms as I sit on the commode. As he collects his clothes, I try to help him by reaching out to the articles nearest to me. As I do this, other people begin entering the bathroom, including the Italian guy. He pulls up a chair opposite from me and tries to engage in conversation. Other men join in, and suddenly it seems all my uncle's guests are up here in the bathroom with me. I want to get up and flush, but am too embarrassed to do so, given the circumstances. My hands are covering my groin and I feel trapped. Fade out.

In this next fragment, I am seated in a restaurant with a group of friends. We are planning our night out on the town. A nagging thought keeps hitting me: My time would be better spent studying and preparing for my exams so I can fulfill the requirements needed to graduate (another missed dream sign). Two geeky guys are sitting across from me. They lean over and whisper in my ear that I if play some jazz guitar tonight, they'll hook me up with some girls looking for action. Dream recall fades. Dreamt 1/04/2017

I am at the zoo with my wife and son. The zoo is indoors and it is empty. We wander the silent corridors peering into the glass animal cages, but all the animals are either absent or asleep. We reach a glass cage filled with water that has two tigers deflated under the water. They look like twin neglected floatation toys sitting on the bottom of a pool. Upon closer look, it appears the door to the cage is damaged. I carefully open the door, expecting a wave of water to gush out, but nothing happens. As I open the door wider to look inside the cage, I suddenly see a HUGE Bengal tiger walk out of his cage. He turns his massive head and looks at me. He begins walking towards me, and I step away in panic and turn to my wife and son. They are asleep on the floor in front of the cage. I desperately try to awaken them, but they are unresponsive.

The tiger emerges from the door and snarls at me. I turn away to run and he chases me. We are in a rotunda and we go round and round and round. The walls and doors of the rotunda are white. I see an opening in the wall up by the ceiling and leap into it and escape his jaws just in time. I now visualize the tiger returning to my sleeping wife and son to devour them. In a panic I run to the zoo's administration offices and burst in shouting, "A tiger's escaped!"

There is a black lady at the information booth, and she quickly gathers a group of people to go and investigate. As we walk back across the zoo grounds, I am unable to remember where the rotunda was located. She keeps asking me which rotunda the tiger was in, and all I can answer is, "The white one." To my great consternation, she tells me she doesn't know of any white rotunda. She then asks me about my family. I tell her the tiger is "guarding" my family. We continue walking until at last we arrive at a red circular building. She tells me this is the only rotunda the zoo has that she knows of. I say in a fury, "But it is red!" She shrugs and says she doesn't know what else she can do. I tell her that if it were her family, she would be in hysterics. This makes her angry, and I abandon her to go search for my wife and son myself.

I crawl up a steep hill on my belly, though some high grass and snow and stumble through several different buildings in my quest to find my family. One building looks like a deserted concert hall. I tell myself that I will always despise tigers from now on. When I exit the concert hall, it is evening outside and I am completely lost. I see some strange highway I do not recognize in the distance, with lights from the cars and trucks whizzing by. I reach for my cellphone to activate my GPS, but the battery is dead. As absolute dread sweeps over me, I suddenly realize I am dreaming. I look up to the dark sky, raise my arms above my head and shout, "Oh Paul! Wake up from this dream now!"

I awaken in my bed and sit up, breathless and terrified. This nightmare was extremely vivid, as I had taken Huperzine-A and Valerian Root extract together in an effort to get past a dry spell. In retrospect, it wasn't very wise and I won't be combining these two herbal supplements again. Dreamt 1/3/2017

I am staying at an old seaside mansion in the antebellum section of a historic city (New Orleans, perhaps), and I am there with a group of people. A man is fencing in white breeches behind the mansion, down by the seashore. He is by himself, practicing his parries and thrusts. He is not wearing a mask. He has thick black hair and is in excellent physique. He is very graceful and very handsome and moves as smooth as a ballet dancer. I walk up to him when he stops and tell him that Paul Morphy was an expert fencer too, and that he never lost a match -- in fencing or in chess.

Note: Paul Morphy (1837-1884) was an extraordinary chess genius who became the unofficial world chess champion at age 21. After which, he retired from competitive chess and went insane. In this dream it appears I am staying at his mansion, which would account for the odd statement made by my subconscious to the DC fencer.

In the dream, I continue bragging on Morphy, my hero, but the people with me -- including the fencer -- seem uninterested. I cannot determine if the mansion belonged to his family, or if he lived elsewhere. I look at the sea and wonder if this was where he used to walk out on the sand. As I ponder these things, I am translocated from the seashore to a dank industrial building, akin to a warehouse where an attractive foreign woman is sitting at a table and staring at me. In my hand is a WWII German Luger pistol. As I continue to examine the pistol, the woman gets up to leave the room. Without thinking, I raise the pistol and fire at her back as she walks out the door. Nothing happens; it appears the gun wasn't loaded. The reason I tried to shoot her was because I wanted to hear how the gun sounded. Dreamt 12/31/2016

I am at my mother's beach condo in Boca Raton, Florida. I just bought a new classical guitar and I'm very excited about playing it. It is in a plush, hardwood case and it gives off a wonderful smell. But for some reason, I am playing my old, crappy guitar. I can't stop playing it. I want to play the new one, but all I can do is look at it, smell it. I am playing The Animals' "House of the Rising Sun" on my old guitar, over and over again. I say the chords out loud as I finger them: "A minor", "F major", "C major" etc. Someone is in the room with me as I play the song, and me saying the chords aloud lends itself to me giving this person a lesson. I suddenly will myself to remember I have a NEW GUITAR; why the hell am I still playing my old guitar? I am finally able to put it down and open the case for the new guitar. I look at it, smell it and reminisce all the old, wonderful memories of me playing it. I see all the dings and blemishes and scratches in the wood and remember how I got them.

It suddenly dawns on me I am looking again at my old guitar; I do not have a new guitar. It is my old guitar and I realize I love it. It smells great and even looks great with its dark walnut stock and craftsmanship -- even with all the dings and scratches. Dreamt 12/20/2016

I am with a friend in a place where there are lots of people coming and going, like at a mall. The person I am with is a young and heavy-set guy with glasses who works with me. He looks like Mark David Chapman, the guy who shot John Lennon. We see two young blonde girls walk by us, and I challenge him to go pick them up. As he does this, I go and look for some clothes to wear on the date. I can't decide on anything appropriate; I decide to wear a pair of overalls (wtf?). Then I have trouble styling my hair. Meanwhile, the girls are still waiting and I am getting anxious. When I finally get myself ready, I discover the girls are gone. I go outside and see the road the girls supposedly walked down. This road is foggy in my dream recall. My father then appears, with Suzie, his new wife. They pull up beside me in an SUV. The two of them offer to drive me to the girls. I get in their vehicle. As we travel down the road in the direction the girls went, we discover a British police investigator has died mysteriously in an outside stairwell of building. My father and Suzie stop the car by the crime scene and offer to help the other detectives solve the mystery. I am frustrated, as I know the girls are still waiting for me.

At this point, I look over to see two British girls being interviewed. They are saying to the camera that they were with the investigator when he met his doom in the stairwell. According to them, his death was accidental. I realize these were probably the girls we picked up in the mall, who got tired of waiting for me and left. It is not clear to me how or when they became involved in the investigator's death. In the dream I am not trying to pick up these girls, and I have seemingly forgotten of my pursuit of the original two blondes at the mall. A homicide detective suddenly approaches me, my father and Suzie and asks us to follow him. The detective's face is discolored (a missed dream sign).

We follow him through several rooms and across several stages and stairwells. We end up inside an empty theatre. The detective is moving quickly and I am trying to keep up. I lose sight of him as he disappears through a door on the other side of a stage. As I begin to run across the stage I suddenly hear, "No running, Paul" from the seats in front of me. It is the detective's voice, and he is now standing there with my parents. His admonishment of "stop running" really pissed me off in the dream: it debased me and made me feel like a child being disciplined. Dreamt 12/19/2016

It is a very cold day in Texas. I am at a park, hiking with a group of people. We run into my old pastor who is diving into a crystal-clear lake to retrieve a ball. When he comes out of the lake with the ball he tells us what we already know: the water is freezing. I then translocate to my office, where I'm being accused of doing cocaine by some woman who is interviewing me. I admit to doing other things in the office during the interrogation, but never coke. The woman keeps asking me different questions, but I am still waiting for the specific question about the coke. When it doesn't come, I storm out of the office. As I walk outside, I see two buildings separated by a walkway. A man bumps into me on the walkway and asks where a certain office is located in the plaza. He is late for an appointment, but I cannot help him for I myself am lost and confused (the outside of my office building looks nothing like this in WL). And all I can tell him is, "I don't know, sir. It's a crap shoot." I know I need to record this occurrence, but I can't seem to find my DJ (a missed dream sign). Fade out

I am now with my childhood neighbor, Meghan and her deceased brother, Rob. Rob is sitting on a sofa and petting a little dog who keeps pestering him. Rob's face is grotesquely disfigured with advanced stages of decomposition. I miss this obvious dream sign and translocate to another scenario where I am suddenly in an old truck -- a 1983 Ford or Chevy model. The truck belongs to Eric, my business partner. I am in an underground parking lot trying to back out of a space. I am blocked in and stuck (another missed dream sign). Up ahead, a black man is also trying to back out of a space but he is partially blocked in by a large motionless bus. He reaches out the window and pushes the bus. The bus topples over and a big fight ensues. People start climbing out of the bus and angry motorists start getting out of their cars. Some of them have knives, others have huge fork-like weapons. People yell and scream as they stab each other in the head and neck. I see massive amounts of blood spurting into the air and flowing on the ground as I sit and watch from inside my truck. Fade out

Now I am at Eric's house, and he is offended with me because I stormed out of the office earlier (see first fragment). He feels I've betrayed him. His mother is there, and she is grabbing me and trying to pull me close to her. I am trying to write something while she does this. She is not wearing panties and I can see and smell her hairy, unclean genitalia. I look at Eric and notice his hair is different; it is short and neat, as though he just walked out of a barbershop. His mother is still clutching me. I am wearing only a tee shirt and boxers (yet another missed dream sign) and I am embarrassed that his mother and I are acting like this. I turn to Eric and give him a sheepish look, as if to say, "I am sorry she is grabbing me like this. It's not my fault." He turns to his mother and barks, "Dee! Stop it!" (Dee is not her name in WL), and she immediately stops. He gives her a stern look and then turns back to me. He asks me what I'm doing, and I tell him I'm very busy writing something. I show him the notepad, but notice with alarm that it's just a blank page. Again, I sense embarrassment. Eric gets distracted, and suddenly his mother is back on me again, this time with her genitalia cleanly shaven and freshly-scented. Eric's dad appears (her ex-husband) and he saves me from her by calling, "Dee!" He is wearing a neatly-pressed suit and tie. She goes to him, and I notice she is wearing jeans now. He puts her over his lap and begins spanking her. As he spanks her, I can't help but notice how well her jeans fit. I decide she is not as overweight as I once thought she was. Dreamt 12/19/2016

I am on a military base observing three fighter jets (ala Blue Angels) sail through the skies in perfect formation. The jets are white. One of the jets lands and the pilot comes out and introduces himself to me. His name is Paco, and he resembles an old US Army friend of mine, Ramon Ramos. Paco tells me he is a master pilot who has been flying a long time. I tell him that I loved watching him fly in formation. I ask him many other questions. One of them is, "How much do the jets cost?" He tells me he doesn't know. I tell him that I have ten million dollars and would like to buy one. I say that although I wouldn't know how to fly it, I think they are so beautiful and would love to have one. But Paco honestly doesn't know how much they cost. Paco is not originally from this area; I don't know where he is from. But he is of Hispanic origin. The other two pilots are just as masterful, but Paco is the only one I get to meet.

I am suddenly transported from standing on an airstrip at a military base to sitting on a couch next to a Jewish-looking woman. The woman resembles my stepsister, Aimee. She also reminds me of an old substitute teacher I have not seen in thirty-plus years, Ms. Taub. We have had an affair in the past, and her husband is in the room with us. He is a weak man -- short and balding. He seems to know he's been cuckolded, but doesn't care. He reminds me of an uncle I have in Florida. The Jewish-looking woman is writing something down in a notepad. Suddenly, I am in bed with her and I am taking her bra off. She has tiny breasts. Next to us is a man on a telephone. He knows both of us.

I decide not to have sex with her, but instead we start talking. As we talk, her face changes into that of my pastor's daughter from my old church in San Marcos. We start discussing dreams. It turns out she knows who Paco the Pilot is. Only she doesn't know him as a pilot; she knows him as an unemployed guitar teacher. She claims she was in my dream when I met him. I ask her how she was able to intercept my dream, and she says cryptically, "It is because we are two peas in a pod." Dreamt 12/18/2016

I am being driven around in a pink car by a woman I do not recognize from WL. She is an attractive MILF. There are hills around us, resembling the hills you see around Moreno Valley in southern California. There are distant houses nestled in the hills. I am cognizant of being married to my wife in the dream, but I work with this lady and this is the final time we will be together. We are headed to a party.

I feel uneasy, knowing my wife would not approve of me being alone in a car with this lady. In the dream, I imagine my wife pulling up beside us at a light in her minivan and looking over to see me with her (note: this didn't actually happen in the dream, it was visualized within the dream). I figure this would be extremely awkward, and I'd have some serious explaining to do! Or would I be able to slip down to hide on the floorboard before she saw me? These were the options I pondered within the visualization. After I snap back into the reality of the dream, I notice there is a child in the backseat of the car. And at that point I realize this woman does not respect me. Nor do I respect her. Most of all, I do not respect myself in this dream.

I begin to feel sad. There is lots of room to stretch my legs out in her car; it is very spacious for a convertible. As she drives me around, I grow more and more pensive. I experience a great withdrawal, and a sense of failure and doom. A betrayal of my marriage vows, even though the woman and I never touch. The most predominant emotion, however, is abject loneliness. I feel so utterly lonely in the dream. I think about my kids and how much I miss them. Dreamt 12/16/2016

I am in a room with my sister-in-law, perhaps in a hotel room or apartment. There is a new ceiling fan installed over the bed. She bought the fan and had it installed. She is laying on the bed looking at the fan. As I walk over to the bed, she says to someone behind me, "Look at his neck." I turn around and see that my wife is also in the room with us. Surprised, I wonder what she meant by "looking at my neck". I suddenly look up to see the fan spinning exactly at my head level, threatening to decapitate me. A moment ago it seemed much higher. As I instinctively jump back, I see my sister-in-law is holding a remote control which moves the fan up and down. There is a pile of boxes at the foot of the bed stacked on top of each other. She lowers the fan blades into the pile of boxes. A chopping noise fills the room. Fade out.

I am now in bed with an unknown woman with blonde hair. She is giving me oral sex and I am smiling at how good it feels. There are people in the room watching us. The bed linens are glowing with a white phosphorescence. I do not orgasm and she disappears and I am left alone with the onlookers in the room who are commenting: "I'll bet he feels good now!" Shortly afterwards, I am joined in bed by my wife and daughter and mother. My daughter has short hair in the dream (she has long hair in WL) and her skin resembles a sickly paste color (she has a natural tan in WL). My wife and mother both say, "Isn't she pretty?" But I remark with horror, "Her hair is short; she looks like a cow."

My daughter's face then begins to elongate into a freak show. As I reach out to manipulate her disfigured lips I say, "Moooo-mooooo," to mimic cow sounds. Her face morphs into something hideous before my eyes (It wasn't until several days later in WL that I realized her face had morphed into the image of her speech instructor's -- an abstraction of the features of an ugly 65 year old woman on the body of a 5 year old girl). I think with horror, "She really does look like a sick cow!" I sit staring at her face, marveling at what happened to all her beautiful, innocent features. I say to myself, "She used to have all my best features, but now she is so ugly and disfigured." I feel ashamed to be her father.

When I look at her again, her hair is suddenly much longer in certain areas. In the dream, this seemed odd to me. As I continue to look at her hair length, I hear footsteps approaching. Embarrassed by her appearance, and not wanting anyone to see her like this, I take comfort in that her hair is growing quickly. I reckon that longer hair is generally more attractive on girls than short hair. As the footsteps grow louder, I frantically reach out and toss her bangs to and fro, trying to make her prettier. Dreamt 12/16/2016