side notes

3.4.2023

Woke up at around 6:11 and did a WBTB [+ 2 points] . Recorded the following dreams:

Music, Ricky, and Lucy [+1]

I’m going up a set of stairs, whistling “The Lightning Tree”, or trying to. I come across my friend K from the lab, and we race to see who can get to the top of the steps first. She wants to get a good view of something. When we get there, there is a musical performance going on. Some kind of politician is playing, I think. The “Superintendent”, or something. It is also very windy. The wind is blowing so hard that a backdrop is wanting to blow over. I mess with it, and reinforce it with a nearby rope and piece of something. On the other side, I think, there is a dog house type thing. Someone might be living in it...Ricky Ricardo is lighting a candle to start a fire. It is Ricky and Lucy’s wedding night. They have a kerosene heater or something. Lucy is delighted to find out that Ricky is cheap – apparently they are saving money with this candle, or something.

Fragment [+0.5]

...In a house with a lot of dogs. I’m trying to go through some doors without letting the dogs out of the house...

The rough side of town [+1]

Talking to a weird man standing behind a bush. Something about parking. The area seems a bit dangerous to me. The guy we are talking to seems shady. Fortunately, a car drives up that belongs to a company that I have done business with (an insurance company or something). They give me a ride, since I did business with them, although they want to check my credentials. The car has heavily tinted windows, so it’s a nice place to hide in while driving away. As we drive away, we see that police cars are showing up. The Amish in the area are moving to the edge of the neighborhood, apparently to avoid whatever situation might arise. We continue on our way out of there, on foot now. We come to a golf course with some kind of earthworks on it I think. It is in a somewhat intricate shape, including a chili pepper.

Fragment 2 [+0.5]

Someone is trying to mimic fighting reptiles with robots. I wonder if the robots (or one of them, at least) can learn how to bite. They are learning through a neural net or some type of AI. The robots turn into a fly and a melon. The fly flies around looking for the melon. The melon extends some kind of tube and moves around somehow. The fly shows off how it can look at things – like a car.

Fragment 3 [+0.5]

A man at church wants 15 cents. My grandmother doesn’t think we should give him anything. Apparently they gave him money “last time” and they don’t want to keep on giving him money. I find a dime in the front seat of the car, and also have some pennies. I wonder if I should give the guy the money. I think about going back into the building, but I’m in the car as we leave the parking lot. I think about suggesting that we stop so I can go back inside, but my grandfather, who is driving, is talking and I don’t want to interrupt him.

Fragment 4 [+0.5]

...At a restaurant place to get food...

Fragment 6 [+0.5]

...The poinsettia in my apartment looks healthy. I give the other plants some water. I look for the bottle that I use to water plants...

Fragment 7 [+0.5]

...At my grandparents’ house. TV entertainment is not what it used to be. I think about getting some snacks...

Back to bed around 6:35.

Awake at 9:37

Play and Water Danger [+1]

Helping with a play. I’m doing music/technical stuff. At one point I think I’m playing music, or doing something along with the music, that involves tossing carrots around. There is a scene in which people bring a dead baby to Moses (?) to be brought back to life. They slide the dead baby prop under a table to me, which I then take and hide, while they bring out a live baby...I seem to be at Lakeside, a family vacation spot. The play is not over yet, but my part is done I guess and I can leave. As I go, they want me to sign a book. It also comes up that I had something to do with security, because I was trying to get into the town during the season (you have to pay to get in during the season) and was stopped at the gate. They then tell me about someone that either had a big parade float or were in a brawl that stretched across town.

Down at the lake, there are some people swimming. A family with a couple of kids. There is a small whirlpool in the water nearby. They don’t think it is very dangerous, but it worries me a little. Kids keep drifting toward the whirlpool and into it, and have to be kept out of it. I realize that this is a dreamsign, and do a reality check. But I don’t get lucid, apparently. I, or someone else, wonders why there isn’t technology to rescue people when they go underwater. I then go up onto the pier. I see a woman rising to the surface of the water and clinging onto a part of the pier’s foundation below me. I signal to her that I see her, and then clamber down to her to try and rescue her. I seem to be too late, however. She lets go or loses her grip on the pier and slips into the water. But she gives me a thumbs-up as she sinks, as though she appreciated the attempt. I stand there, wondering if I should dive in and try to find her. The water is dark and murky, and I’m afraid to go in. But I do (and I seem to kind of half realize this is a dream or something like it). I let myself sink down to the bottom of the water and feel around, but I don’t feel the woman.

Interesting about the woman. In the dream, I thought she had gone underwater and was resurfacing and clinging to the pier trying to stay up. I kind of wonder if this was another appearance of a Subaquatic woman though. She didn't seem too upset when she went back under, and I didn't find her when I dove in myself.

Migraines and Money [+1]

Talking with my mother about my nephew. In the dream, he has some kind of disorder (that has to do with his knee or leg?) that can be taken care of if someone who used to have migraines but is now better donates something (like plasma). My mother has migraines, but she still gets them so she can’t donate. I mention that my grandmother used to. My mother says something about how she doesn’t think my grandmother will donate because she doesn’t like someone...I look for money, and dig up a decent amount either from my pockets or the back of a car, or something. My grandmother comes along and gives me some money as well...driving into a park(?). I look for a place to turn around, rolling down my window to say goodbye to whomever I was with (my dad and some other people?) as I leave...Looking around Nairobi, I think. I notice how there is a slum in a kind of low-lying area, but nice buildings around. If you look at the cityscape at a certain angle, you don’t see the slum. Someone seems to find a nearby house amusing in some way. I think it’s kind of a nice house.

I wrote this during the night, so I mostly just recorded the lucid part in detail. I might elaborate more on the non-lucid later. The child-man-ape things were rather creepy, and might be worth sharing.
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Up kind of late. It’s about 1:00 now. I took about 2mg of melatonin a bit ago.

2:30-2:48

WBTB, read some scripture, went to the bathroom, tried a bit of meditation.

4:30am

Dream Guide (Lucid)

Apes, and those four child-man-ape things. They want to attack me, bite me with their teeth. A monument that I think is not well constructed. Trying to sleep in the monument, then worrying about the cops waking me up. Guitar dog. Machine, which is my friend. It takes off down the road, and wrecks. I worry about someone or something being hurt. I go to see, and find that a couple of little animals seem to have been wounded. I feel it’s my responsibility to shoot them.
...I decide to hold off on shooting the animals until I look up whether or not they feel pain. Heading back out of the barn, I decide that I should do a RC for some reason. I do a nose pinch, and can still breathe. I’m dreaming! I think about how this is worth 10 points (possibly forgetting that the competition hasn’t started yet), and then think I should work on a task. What task? At first I think I try to find a place – I don’t remember what exactly. Having a bit of trouble finding it, and then I decide to try to find my dream guide. I start asking for the guide, or possibly saying something like “the guide is around the next corner”. Now I’m no longer in the barn, but in a larger building. I see someone up ahead. There is a short, but wide, flight of stairs leading to a corridor that runs perpendicular, and this is where the man is. I start chasing after him (there is something for a moment or two where there is someone else with him but I don’t know what becomes of the other guy) and catch up to him. He is a somewhat heavyset man, with a somewhat thin, sandy-colored beard. He is wearing some kind of shirt or jacket, I think, with words on the back. He has a kind of archaeologist feel to him, a bit of a cross between a couple of archaeologists I know in waking life and “Nigel” from the Jumanji movie.

“Are you my dream guide?” I ask.

“Yes, I guess so,” he replies.

My memory is a bit fuzzy here, and I might lose lucidity for a bit. I have a couple of business cards that I try to fish out of my pocket and give to him. He is looking for a site to do some archaeological work, and seems interested in a place where I worked once. I seem to regain some lucidity, I think I want the guide to teach me something. He responds by pushing me down a set of stairs. I get the feeling that there is something he wants me to learn on my own, and at this point he isn’t going to help me (at least in a micro-managing sort of way). I remember thinking that he got me out of somewhere (a backrooms type situation, or something).

Now I’m in a basement area. I seem to lose lucidity again. Someone is messing with an explosive – there is some chemical that makes people do weird things. I try to hide (with someone else?) while he sets off the explosive. Then there is something about going back in time, or trying again, to stop him. The solution is not to do something with the match as the man tries to light it. This makes him try to light it with a match that isn’t working as well (otherwise he would just start rubbing the now wood with his hand until it caught fire). Then I am able to stop him, although I think his hand and arm now look like a glowing, charred piece of wood. There is a large freezer nearby, and we go in. There is some conversation about whether or not I remember smells and such (maybe – the memory is kind of fuzzy). He seems to be hallucinating. He is also a reflection in a large mirror now, and is naked. I take the mirror out of the freezer, and out to where the burning stuff was. I think maybe the transition from the cold to the heat might cause the glass to crack, which it does. I think I drop the mirror. It falls backwards to the ground, and shatters. I worry that this might have been the only way to access my dream guide, but someone nearby says something about that not being the case.

Elaboration on the Child-Man-Apes

There were some people, possibly scientists. Actually, Charles Darwin might have been there. I get the idea that they may have been discussing evolution. They were going to do some test with an ape, involving it putting boards/shingles up against the wall of a cabin. I seem to be involved in some way. I think the ape attacks me. It is as though I've done something wrong, and as a consequence I'm now under attack not only by the ape, but by four creatures. These creatures look like a cross between large children, or sickly adults, and chimpanzees. They come after me, trying to bite at me. I seem to recall the thought of their teeth biting me was specifically repulsive. I think I go hide somewhere, also trying to sleep, possibly. But there is still that creepy thought that the creatures will find me. This might be where I come across the guitar dog - which is a sort of cross between a guitar and a dog. I really like this dog, and lay there petting it. It has some weird gelatinous thing lining the outside of its stomach. This eventually becomes a machine, I think, about the size of an automobile and with a couple doll-like pieces. I treat this like it is living. When I turn around and go back to where I had been laying, it moves away on its own and starts off down the street. I chase after, worrying that it might hurt someone. It does, in fact, wreck. When I show up to the scene, it appears that it has injured some small deer or rabbit-like things. I feel responsible for putting them out of their misery, and have a shotgun with me. I don't want to, but I feel like I should put them down. I try to catch, them, and go into a barn looking for them. This leads into the dream above...

I had just typed this entry, but lost what I wrote. I don't have a lot of time, but I feel like this dream is worth recording so here I go again. This is just a part of the dream, I think, and I have approximated the dialogue as best as I can remember:

The subaquatic people take their seats in their vessel. They are seated around the outside perimeter of a circle, facing inward toward each other. Someone, a main character of the dream, is offered the chance to join them. In the end, he refuses, because it would mean becoming one of them and living underwater for the rest of his life. One of the people, a lady I think, looks at me and says:

"This one might join us."

I think about this. The scene has the bittersweet feeling to it that happens sometimes at the end of a story where people have come to love one another but now for some reason have to part. But I think to myself that maybe I actually could go with them.

"What about my family?" I ask. "Would I ever be able to see them again?"

It is explained that although I will become subaquatic like them, I could still visit the surface world wearing a type of 'diving' apparatus. So, I decide to join them.

The vessel starts to descend into the water. There is a somewhat maniacal seeming captain, who, I think, expects me to drown. The rest of the people are cheering me on, seemingly happy at my 'rebellion'. I have been promised an oxygen tank, but in the meantime I have to hold my breath. It might be a long time of not breathing, and I count the seconds as I hold my nose closed. I get up to somewhere around 30 seconds, I think. Then I either wake up, or dream that I wake up, wondering if I have been holding my breath all this time.

Side note: I had a dream in October of last year with a similar theme. A subaquatic woman wanted me to join her, possibly making me subaquatic as well. In that dream it seemed like it was supposed to be frightening, but I wasn't frightened. I felt an attraction to the woman, and thought that it might be worth the transformation.

I have been dabbling with trying to build or find a persistent realm for a while now. I have visited worlds that either I or others have "invented" (or not, depending on your theory about that kind of thing). I suspect that these might be persistent realms, and returning to one of these might be an obvious route to find a PR. I'm also thinking of focusing on finding locations that I would like to revisit.

Last night I decided that I would observe my dreams and see if there were any locations that might make a nice PR. I proceeded to dream about a series of rather nasty places. A world where people have virtually unlimited access to their favorite food - but no willpower so that they pretty much can't help but eat until they explode. A world where prisoners are kept naked and abused by the authorities. A "doctor's office" that looked more like a medieval torture chamber (nicknamed "the Spider Lab" - didn't stick around to find out why)...I think I'll keep looking.

01/19/22

I woke up around 5:00 with some indigestion. I had hoped to go back to sleep, but the indigestion kept me awake for around 45 minutes to an hour. During this time I looked at some memes and read the Bible.

Looking for the Dream Base Library

I think I might be getting better at WILDing, because I don't know if I ever lost my awareness from being awake. I think, maybe (vague memory) what I have been doing is imagining myself doing a nose pinch RC, and at some point find myself doing one. Anyway, at some point I find myself aware, and possibly do a nose pinch RC. I'm dreaming, or close to it anyway. I sit up in my "dream body", continuing to do a nose pinch RC now and then. I make my way to the front door so I can get outside and do something. I find that I don't have to worry about unlocking the door, I can just open it. I walk outside. At first I think to myself that I should try to go to Synthos again, but then I remember that I had a different plan. It seems to be a bit difficult to remember at first, but then I recall the Task of the Year, to build the Dream Base!

I had decided to work on the library. But how am I going to find it? I'm in a city. I think I just start walking with the idea in my mind of the Dream Base library. I might repeat "Dream Base library" to myself as I do so. At some point I begin to lose the dream (things go black anyway). I wait it out for a few moments, and the dream returns with me standing with my face against some obstruction hanging down from above. Someone is talking to me about how we aren't allowed to stand there staring at historic buildings (which is what I look like I'm doing, I guess). I continue my search.

I think I go into a building looking for the Dream Base library. It is some kind of a store. There are a lot of interesting things there, but it isn't the library. There is a small staircase to my left. I walk up this thinking maybe it will take me there. It seems to me it just ends after a couple of steps. I find a mirror, and think maybe I can use that as a portal. But I just keep seeing my reflection in it. Then I try to envision a portal below me and try to jump through it. Nope. I think about spinning, but I'm a bit worried I'll lose the dream if I do that. I find a blank space on the wall next to me, and try to imagine the Dream Base. Then I imagine that there is a door to my left that will lead me there.

I look to my left, and there is indeed a door. It's not quite like I imagined, but it's a door anyway. Behind it is a closet. Still not the library! Oh well, the door was supposedly going to take me to the Dream Base, so I look in the closet. There are two people with me now, possibly my nieces. We start rummaging around in all the things in the closet. Someone mentions that maybe we shouldn't mess with someone else's things, but I (or someone else) point out that it's my dream so it's all my stuff (it seems like I or they mentioned me in the third person - "All Sam's stuff").

I push some things aside, and just find a wall. There are some protrusions on the wall, like something was nailed there. I find a squarish one, and pretend that it is a button that will activate something (maybe an elevator?) to take us to the Dream Base library. It gives a little, acting like a button, and then the shelves that I have been searching start to detach from the wall. The shelves and floor that we have been standing on detach from their surroundings, and become part of a hidden elevator suspended in a somewhat darkened shaft.

The elevator can be controlled by cords that are hanging down next to us. We start descending, and somehow are aware that we are going deep into the Earth (I think), on the scale of miles (or possibly "years"). Somehow I increase the speed, and now it's possibly on the scale of hundreds of miles. Also, I lose the cord, and for a moment we don't have control of the elevator. But I think I will it to come back, or somehow get ahold of it (or a new one). I stop the elevator and wrap the cord around some sculpture-like thing next to us...

Here the dream recall is a little fuzzy, or else the dream itself skipped or something. We're on the elevator platform, and someone who has joined us is trying to get back on. There is a gap between where he is standing and where we are, and it seems that in order for him to cross this gap successfully there is a specific sequence of actions that we have to do. This involves him doing something, and me pushing on a protrusion in the sculpture next to me. It takes a couple of tries to get it right. But finally he's back on board, and we are reascending the elevator.

Here is the somewhat frustrating part - I seem to think at this point that I found the library. I thought I had in the dream, but now that I'm awake I don't remember it! But in the dream, I think to myself that I could just wake up now having succeeded in my mission. Instead though, I think it would be nice to go back to where I started, because there are people waiting for us there (or something like that) and it would be fun to return and tell them what happened. We ride the elevator upwards, and the kids turn around to see the scenery below us as we go up. There seem to be animals (monkeys?) off to the sides that are throwing things at us. We reach the top of the shaft, or at least the level of the closet. I think it would be interesting to see if the elevator would keep going up, but I get off at the closet.

I'm trying to get back to my starting point. I have an idea of which direction it is, and find that I can just force my way through doors and walls to head there. I don't quite recall what happened at this point...


Grocery Store Lucid

This might be part of the Dream Base dream, but I don't exactly remember.I'm in a grocery store now, lucid I guess. Someone is making an announcement about the lucid store, I don't remember exactly what it was. One difference between the dream store and waking stores is that the food is all in plastic bags instead of other packaging. Some other things happened, which may or may not have been lucid. At some point my mother was pointing out that it was "fish season", and I could get some catfish if I wanted. I had eaten too much fish earlier though, and fish didn't sound that good to me...Some time after this, I'm discussing this dream store with someone else. One thing I like about it is that I can eat all I want and never get filled up, since it's all dream food!