memorable

Harry Potter fragment
The dream started out in my flat. I'm not sure what happened there, but eventually, the whole scene and story of the dream changed. I was apparently at Hogwarts, and a death eater applied the cruciatus curse on me, which, as expected, caused a lot of pain. I don't remember much else.

Strange fire dream
I am a different person. Something happened before this, but in retrospect, I don't quite remember. I am in a room, possibly a hotel room, which seems like it is quite luxurious. A fire starts at a table behind the bed I am laying in, which I see, but apparently I am so tired that I don't even really notice the danger, or maybe I don't care. A woman notices this and drags me out of bed. She seems like a friend of mine or maybe a colleague. She holds me up as we walk out of the room, it seems I am hurt or something else which impairs my movement.

Subnautica dream
I am in some Subnautica-like world. Most things are blurry in retrospect, but I know it was interesting, and evoked emotions I can't describe. All I can say is that it wasn't bad. At some point there was something with ghost leviathans and other massive creatures, which was pretty scary.

---

So, I'm finally back. This dream actually got me back, since until that I didn't really remember how fun dreams can be. Would've been a dream I would've liked to be lucid in.

Creepy red creature
I am a spectator of a woman living on a sort of high tower. She did something that will make some sort of demon monster come and run up the tower to kill her. She waits and it's suddenly there and throws her against a wall with rather whacky physics, like in a video game, and blood splatters everywhere. The creature looks somewhat like an enemy from SUPERHOT. Then suddenly it's like real and I am now on the tower and did something. I watch it in terror, it's running up the stairs to the tower and is there soon. Then suddenly it's in front of me and also throws me against the wall and kills me. Then I am at home, and my mother did something that made me think it will make it come up. I complain to her and she tells me she doesn't believe it. I think about how it even gets into houses, and I tell my mother to properly lock the door, but she takes her time and keeps telling me things, and when she finally goes to lock the door, it seems to be too late. But then nothing happened and for some reason my mother is gone. Then the dream fades a bit and apparently I'm lying in bed. I get a bit aware that I am dreaming and try to open my real eyes to wake up, but it doesn't really work and I can only open my dream eyes, so I build up confidence since I think that the creature might be right in front of me. But it isn't there, so I stand up to see the brightly lit, but way too silent room. Outside, it is very dark. Then I hear very loud breathing, coming from everywhere at once. It had to do something with my mother, and I really wanted to wake up. And, as I wished, it worked this time. At some point, there was also some game title screen with the title "Worry - The game".

---

That was creepy. Quite a cool dream. Also good that I got a bit aware at the end there, but not aware enough to remember that I could change the scene instead of waking up. Sad that I lost the opportunity. Also, that "Worry - The game" part might be a pretty funnily obvious reference to how I feel every day.

Reviewing life moments after death
I am in complete darkness, and the only thing that I can still sense are my memories. There is a sort of sad music, but it has a happy and ethereal to it, like I was done now and no longer had to worry about anything, but now it is all over in exchange. It was some sort of synth instrument maybe, but there was definitely piano. I relive the memory of when I was 4 and apparently a cousin and his mother were coming up to visit us. I came to see them. Then, probably a few years later, apparently the house of them were now right next to ours, only about 8 meters needed to walk to the other's house entrance. It was night, and the cousin was visiting. At some point later we apparently flooded their house, which was extremely big, with phosgene for some reason and left to my house. At some point I looked to the window and it was pitch black outside. My mother smelled something weird at some point, and I suggested it might be the phosgene, so I closed our windows. Had problems closing the left one, though, and it had a weird design. Back in the black, I kept thinking how I really wished that you could just turn back time. At some point I also thought about my borther.

---

That was deep.. also, that phosgene part was weird.

Weird game fragment
It was about some sort of Mario party-esque game, but in real life and as such pretty dangerous. It might have involved later mentioned Skype and in real life friends. There might have been other things that happened.

Distance fragment
I was making a Distance level, using some quite advanced level editor tricks to achieve a specific, pretty trippy effect. I showed this to the aforementioned Skype and in real life friends. There might have been other things that happened as well.

Warehouse 13 and old man sacrifice fragment
There might have been something about a friend dying, maybe something other than human that became a friend to the team. Then it was sort of like a spaceship like in The Orville, but like in a previous dream, where a whale creature was saved. Something was about to destroy the ship, and the only thing that could save it and everyone on it was the sacrifice of a very nice old man who wasn't supposed to die yet. He understandably got a bit depressed and didn't want to talk to anyone, so he just went to the elevator and went all the way to the top, where he'd die and thus save the ship.
Suddenly, the dream starts again, but I have the memory of before. I tell the first officer that I had the memory of the future, and thus they apparently sent someone different. But then I watched the old man also going to the elevator and I shouted "Wait! They sent someone different!", but he didn't hear it. I ran to the elevator and at first wanted to send an elevator up to the old man to signal that they sent someone different, but noticed that it wouldn't work. Even though I had already selected a floor, I hammered the button on my floor, but then I pressed the door button and it opened, even though I had already sent the command to send it away. I selected the floor right under the deadly top floor, and my elevator quickly caught up with his. Both elevators had glass walls at at least one direction. I hammered on the walls and shouted "They sent someone different! Wait!" and he noticed me. He was sitting on the floor of his elevator, said. We met on the floor right under the top floor. I ran to his elevator door and as it opened I told him "They sent someone different already! You don't have to go anymore!" but he just told me "No.. they sent someone different already, but it did not work, I have to go anyway...". I was
quite sad and shocked now. "Oh.. o-okay.. goodbye..." I had no idea what to even say. His doors closed, and his elevator went away, sending him to his death.

Fleeing from Rumpelstiltskin
I was at home, and there was a Skype friend and an old primary school friend. It was not in the past though, and thus, the primary school friend had aged. I was doing some chemical experiment involving chlorine for some reason on the floor without any protection. Then the skype friend brought me something and I poured it into the experiment. But suddenly I had forgotten what I was even pouring into what and panicked slightly. But then I noticed that it didn't smell like chlorine, so it was fine, so I just let it be and stood up and went into a corridor, where you can go into the kitchen and the living room, as well as at the far left end out of the house. My friends asked me what I was doing, and I showed them a bag of magic items. They were amazed. I said that we'd revive the magic again. I asked my skype friend to bring me something again, and he took a school bag of items and unpacked it, for some reason in the living room. My mother asked what it is, and I said some excuse that worked out well. So we left the house with all the items. Then at some point we were at a house. In between something relating to Rumpelstiltskin happened and we were fleeing, along with like 7 other people. We came to a building and went in. At some point we wanted to leave, but the entrance collapsed for some reason, but I told them we could get through, but everyone except for me ran back into the house. Luckily, only the entrance collapsed a bit. I went out, though, in fear of the building collapsing. I then ran around outside and spotted Rumpelstiltskin, disguised as a worker, since there was sort of like a large runway, maybe for an airport, directly adjacent to the house. After 20 minutes I accidentally came really close to Rumpelstiltskin, and he mumbled "When's he going to go in again...", but I actually thought it might be good to come in. I went in and went up to a high floor and told everyone where Rumpelstiltskin was. A few girls were browsing eBay, and listed some things we needed, including glass. But I said that we need it in borosilicate, since we need lab items to ease our survival, since we were planning to go to the enchanted forest like from Once Upon a Time. They said it is a stupid idea. One of us had like a dog-like face, which was apparently normal, but one made a joke if I could build a gun with a name something related to dogs which he could should the dog person with, which was just a very morbid joke. I answered by just saying I can't build guns, just fuel. Then we decided to leave and all went out. A lot of people jumped from like 10 meters high up down without hurting themselves, but I took the stairs, as any sane person would. Only one other guy came with me to the stairs, but it was full of spider webs and I asked him to remove them a bit with his feet, and he did it and I came down as well.

Monk dream
There was something about the crime series Monk.

Thunderstorm dream
There was some quite cool storm. It was really dark and a cool atmosphere.

---

That was a VERY long dream and lots of recall. That was really cool. No lucids, though. Maybe tomorrow.

Strange creepy gaster dream
It was sort of about Undertale, but not really. The only real character from Undertale was Gaster. They were sort of travelling worlds, but I don't know if it'd be permanent or not. I was happy for them, though. But then Gaster told me something unsettling. He said that the darkness was coming. My happiness faded away immediately. I tried asking him what he meant, but he didn't reply, and then they were gone. I saw that they were flying away, but something was wrong, they were only flying into a void, everything around them was the blackest it could have been. I tried warning them, but they disappeared. In the evening in my home, with my parents doing stuff around the house, I heard some documentary saying "Imagine if it was entirely dark and you couldn't see anything." or something, since apparently this darkness is like a natural disaster. I looked out the window, and no light was there. I was afraid of the window not being closed, and I didn't remember how the handle of it looked when it was closed, so I thought about opening the window and closing it again, but then I thought that'd be a bad idea. I don't remember anything else.

---

This time I remembered to do my mantra when I went to sleep. Now I just have to keep it up and I'll have some lucids again.

Walking around the city for magic
I am walking around the city with my mother for some reason. We go through houses, and in the dream that confuses me, and I also had problems recalling how we even got into the house every time we entered one (I should've gotten lucid right there, ugh). At some point, it might have had something to do with the series Charmed. In some house I saw a girl play animal crossing, and her parents watched. They also seemed to like the game. My mother told me that they're filming the trailer. In an adjacent room or maybe adjacent house they're preparing to film some trailer about animal crossing that seems to be horror-themed for some reason. I remember already seeing the trailer. A girl sits on a couch and she just bends her head backwards as if she fell unconscious or something, and they'd zoom into her face and behind her is a TV playing a video on loop. It would be framed so that it would look like her unconscious face is floating in front of the images zapping by as creepy and intense music played, like House of Leaves from Kevin MacLeod. At the end I met my friend Steven on a sidewalk
and he looked pretty different. We were happy to see each other. My mother told us something. At some point I also got home with my father, half-naked for some reason. There were also some personal parts at some point.

---

Got a bit closer to doing a mantra, but still forgot. I guess I am just too stressed, and will be for a long time, so I'll just try to do something.

Talking to an old discord friend
I am on Discord, sad about the fact that a friend left a discord server of friends for reasons I don't know. I then got the idea that I might still have them in my direct message bar. I look and find them. I then talk to them and ask them if they want to come back. And they do. Everyone on the server is happy, but I don't remember what exactly they were saying.

Scene change to all server members standing in my room, apparently. The friend doesn't really feel comfortable with meeting everyone again yet, but they would give it a try. We are then apparently in some freaky ghost house thing, but really, it's more of a ghost world. Various like very demonic things attack us and we often flee. I don't remember any details except that the beginning was many sort of white blankets hung up and it being very tight so that you have to immediately go up a staircase when you get in, which is the only way. There was also like some weird hallway. To the right was some really bright room, maybe an operating room, and in front was darkness. I might have been alone. Then it got brighter behind me and some demon came, it might have been related to Super Mario for some reason. When I started waking up I started realizing that it was a dream and got very sad and frustrated since I miss my friend.

Dream about a dream
I thought that the last dream had ended, and that this was now definitely reality. I was on Discord again, and now found the friend again and wanted to talk to them. But then I started waking up again and was sad to see that this was also a dream.

---

Hm. I had really hoped I'd wake up to see it wasn't a dream. In reality it probably wouldn't really be as easy as talking to them and asking them nicely. I think they had a fight with someone. But maybe I can do it, but I doubt it. It must have been bad if they just left by saying "Bye." Eh, let me stop venting.

I'll class that second dream as a false awakening,

oh, and that ghost mansion was fun.

LEGEND:
Black = non-lucid
Grey = awake
Blue = lucid

---

Lucid fragment
I reality check and get lucid, but either don't remember what came after it or the dream faded.

Great false awakening lucid!
Discouraged from my failed lucid that I just woke up from, I decide to do an especially aware reality check and then go to sleep with the mantra "When I see my hands I will remember I am dreaming and I will remember my body isn't real." The last part of the mantra is to make me more lucid and aware, so that I'm not just a zombie.

I then heard a noise my father made (maybe be dropped something) and got startled by it, and was disappointed. But I did a reality check, and, to my surprise, I breathed right through my plugged nose and was in a lucid dream. I immediately stood up and decided to leave my home. I tried looking away and back, imagining there'd be a door. I wanted to go to a specific place, but I ended up going into a mall. For some reason I suddenly had a VR headset on my head and my lucidity slipped a bit and things started getting unclear, both since that's something that happens if you don't have your VR headset on correctly and because the dream was fading, but as I took it off it caught itself. For a few seconds, I was somewhere else, but returned to the mall without really noticing. The place might have been full of brownish sand and sort of boxed in somehow.

Now, back in the mall, I run around and explore, excited, although not as aware as in the beginning anymore, but still better than any other lucid dream I've had. I see a small (100ml volume?) box of sodium iodide and think about trying to blow something up (that's hard with sodium iodide, but, again, I had lost awareness in the VR headset segment), but I ended up not trying, both because I didn't know if they'd have any chemical that'd work out with it (forgot that you could summon things since my awareness was shit) and because I didn't want to anymore. As I thought about it, I had actually tried to grab the box of it, but I only had the lid in my hands since it slipped off, and somebody was mad at me since I grabbed it (I had a small fear that someone would notice, but I didn't really care since I was sure I could just flee). And thus, I fled.

I then decided to try some shapeshifting again. I looked at my hands and saw that I had way too many fingers than normal (about 14 on my right hand), so I tried to touch things with the hand to see how having more fingers feels like, and it felt like normal, just slightly different. It's hard to describe. But I didn't want to continue to do something else that is more personal.

I went to a sort of computer terminal and input commands and hoped for them to appear in the dream, but it didn't quite work out. At some point I did a stabilization attempt by inspecting my hands, but still nearly woke up, but ended up back at a sort of bodyless distant view that was even less aware of the terminal, which now looked like a piano/organ, and apparently dracula was playing on it. It sort of was like a comedic variation of some sort of area in a video game. I then sort of had to click on the piano to go to the terminal again to continue typing, and it still didn't work, and then I woke up.

---

That awareness drop after the vr segment was annoying, but being that aware at all was progress, at least. I think I will add something to get more aware of dream control in my dreams.

Also, the first lucid fragment resulted from an extra aware reality check yesterday before I went to bed, since I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't reality check all that much because of school eating my time and stressing me.

Another lucid dream!!!
(I'm not sure if this part came before or after I got lucid, but I doubt I was lucid)
I have something to do with Buffy the vampire slayer. I seem to just follow the team she has around. I don't remember what they did, or if they even did it. The scene just might have jumped. Anyway, I see the team gathered around Buffy, and Buffy simply said "Goodbye" or something like that, and everyone else replied "Goodbye" back to her, and the group went home. Buffy stood there for a bit, and I walked by her and said "Bye Buffy". I then thought that I like these "interactive movies" in which you are in the movie and seemingly just follow the protagonist. I then went into a sort of dance club for some reason. In the dream it was supposed to be the same club the characters always go to, but in the dream it was really, really tiny and only few people were in it, as opposed to in the series. I didn't like it there, so I left.

Then I was at a shopping district relatively close to my home. I suddenly had the thought "What if I am dreaming?", and thus I tried the nose plug reality check. As expected, I breathed through my closed nose, and I was lucid. Then the scene changed to my room. I then wanted to do something, but remembered dream stabilization techniques. So I rubbed my hands together for a bit, then I held them up in front of my face and inspected them. The dream was then like real life. There was someone there with me, and there was someone coming that wanted to kill us. For some reason, I really wasn't there emotionally. I was quite calm, trying to summon a weapon by having it appear in my hands, but I only got these really weird ammunition related things on beside which were some sort of ammo display, which I had no use for. I tried a few more times, and every time until the last one only got these strange ammo related things, but in the end I got a small hand burner, and decided to try and protect ourselves from the guy that wanted to kill us. I ran to the guy. He was some really tough motorcycle gang type guy. I tried burning his throat, but he didn't care. He just said something mocking I don't remember. So I ran back into the room and the guy I was with got killed by being shot. Strangely, the attacker wasn't close enough yet. He might also have been shot at the beginning already. Well, I stopped caring and tried to do shapeshifting stuff. I did the thing a shapeshifting tutorial says: I made another finger so that I could feel what it is like to have extra limbs. So I made another finger on the left of the pinky finger of my left or right hand, I'm not sure. I tried moving it and it worked, but it was connected to the pinky and ring finger, like the ring finger is connected to the pinky: they moved all at once. It frustrated me for some reason and I thought that it'd be better if I made it on the other side of the hand. It also seems like my hand was mirror inverted. I pushed the other finger back into my hand, but it didn't quite want to disappear, so I slapped it in and it made the Minecraft effect as if it died, and it was gone. I then forgot that I wanted to try and make more fingers. I then tried making two more legs, starting from my lower back. It worked a bit, but they seemed to disappear quickly, and they had barely any sensation. I didn't even see them. The little sensation my legs had reminded me of horses. I then decided that I want to leave the room, so I wanted to imagine a large black box that would've stood behind me with a button that would've brought me away, but I woke up and forgot about DEILD and only have a digital way of writing down my dreams, so I woke up completely and took my laptop to write this.

---

I am happy that I suddenly have lucid dreams. I am a bit sad that I was not really there with my mind, that I didn't really have emotion and also keep forgetting things, and that I can't manage to notice when the dream is falling apart so that I can stabilize it again. But I am happy I had a lucid dream at all, especially since I had one just yesterday.

Semi-lucidity! Trying shapeshifting.
In the beginning there was some sort of scary things, it was like a catalog of drugs that make your dreams insane with illustrations of what you could see, most notably a drug that is some sort of mineral which looks like some really demonic face with a mouth stretched down for meters, an unhealthy reddish skin and dead white eyes, and it made you see faces like that in your dream. Then it was somewhat about Subnautica. But then I was at home and suddenly I had a small amount of heightened awareness that it might be a dream. Then there was a sort of puppet but it was alive and I brought it into a room and closed the door to protect us from something. We went outside again and there were intimidating people and it was also like I read something bad about them. They said something I don't remember. I went past them and at the window were also some intimidating people I couldn't get past. I went back to the room.

I don't remember the part right before it, but I knew I was dreaming and did multiple reality checks and they all told me I was in a dream, so, now aware, I thought of something to do. The dream was very unclear and I totally forgot about stabilizing, but didn't even notice, so this was at most semi-lucid. I went to a mirror and tried transforming into a dragon. I didn't manage to do it at all since I hadn't at all had a visualization of the dragon I'd want to transform in. I tried doing it by looking to the mirror and back once I had an idea of what I wanted. As it didn't work after multiple attempts I just tried a tail at first, and that worked... somewhat. I didn't really take the right idea at all from the beginning anyway. The tail was there, but it was numb and had no feeling. And it was green, and I wanted it blue, so I just looked away and back again, and there it was blue. Then I just sort of gave up. I went away to see if I could manage to breathe fire at the people I couldn't get past, but I just forgot about it and tried to do something else. At some point I lost lucidity somewhat and slightly fell back into the plot about these demonic faces. Then I got excited over something and I woke up quite a lot. I then remembered the shapeshifting tutorial, and I wanted to do it. I remembered dream chaining, laid completely still, aaaaanddd... my parents managed to wake me up on accident.

---

Glad to know my practice is working. Not sure what to improve for next time, though. Maybe I should just continue as usual with my practice.

A meeting with my manipulative friend fragment
My father has already opened the door after the doorbell rang and my manipulative friend is there and I quickly put a sentence together. The sentence might be an apology to him, something I am trying to prevent myself doing.

Finding treasure in my house
I and my father helped some dangerous looking guy with dark skin. He sort of reminds of some guy I knew once, Darren. He wants to find some sort of treasure. At some point he might have had other people helping him, but in the end he was alone with us. The house was somewhat weirdly structured. We were searching around the door to the garden. There is lots of things on the wall you could climb on, and lots you could miss. In the end he finds it and tells us to leave. But I sort of knock him out and find it as well but he woke up again and I run up the stairs towards home. Then one of his partners comes along and says something along the lines of "What do you think you're doing up here, hm?" but I say something like "Of course I can be here, I live up here!" and they say something like "Yeah yeah..." and leave, going down quickly. And then I hear my father talking to the guy from the beginning to distract him so that I can get the treasure. But I notice that the guy would be facing me and that he might notice me anyway because he could hear me so I didn't take the chance. Then I went outside and then ran in and just tried to get the treasure, but he stopped me. I thought about saying that he'd get half, but I didn't know how much the treasure even was worth. I also thought about just knocking him out again, but I thought I wouldn't be strong enough.

---

This was after multiple MILD attempts. I woke up multiple times throughout the night and tried to do a MILD nearly every time. Because I woke up often, there were probably some WBTBs.

Me and my cats running from demons at school
Someone I don't remember has brought me to school, and I trust him but he's involved in some magic ordeal. He might have
brought me there since he thinks I'll be safe there for a while. I am supposed to do my homework, which I do. I also seem to
have brought my cats and am supposed to take care of one other cat which I don't know. They all just jump on the window
sill and watch the outside world as I continue to do work. But then there is something, I think it's an animal which is
possessed, suddenly starts banging on the window, slowly breaking it, but for a few seconds I don't really notice. But then I
do notice and quickly push the cats off the sill and tell them to follow me, which, surprisingly, works on all of them. I run into
the wrong direction, and then quickly turn around. I push the cats a little to hurry them and run out the door into some sort
of teacher hall. It's only about 3-5 meters long and there's a room at the end and on both sides, both right in the middle of
the two side walls. A woman comes up to me and looks at me with a confused expression. Suddenly the plot changes a bit, and I simply don't know where I have to be, but I am still running from a demon. She says that she doesn't know, in a sort of "You should know that yourself..." undertone.

---

I just noticed that I have a recall streak, which is pretty cool.
The school is also a recurring location. I'm excited to map it out once I get to have consistent lucids.

Subnautica-like dream
I am in some sort of very dark abandoned hospital, nearly everything made out of stainless steel, even floor and walls, with no sign of decoration or anything else that would make one feel in any way happy, or even at all positive. There's blood everywhere, and it's too silent. I walk through it, and I think I discover another person.

Next thing I remember is looking for something outside in the water in a small submarine, like the seamoth, in some sort of kelp biome reminiscent of Subnautica, but different. I get whatever it was that I was looking for and go back to some sort of base, which you enter by going under a sort of large hydraulic opening which opens as you approach it, and you go through to the surface of the water, and it closes again, and you are inside and can swim a few meters to dry land. There were other people, and we were working on something.

Then, the next thing we do is go to some exceedingly exceedingly large cave, in which a creature just a bit smaller lives. It's literally many many kilometers large and we do some sort of research mission. Then I wake up.

During the entire dream I felt really curious and excited, and in the hospital part very disturbed, hence the title.