Side Notes
Cellar spider infestation and visit to ominous school Unfortunately, it's been a little over 2 years since I've started this draft, so I can't do much more than just acknowledge I had it.
Failed dream stabilization in DILD I am on my way home, carrying groceries on the sidewalk of the quiet street passing by the house I live in on a cloudy day with a darker lighting of the environment suggesting that the time of day is soon to be or already is dusk. I'm not sure if my mother is with me, but she could be. Suddenly, I become lucid. It might have been a random thought about lucidity which triggered this. But I immediately start slipping out of the dream but try to rub my hands and to look at them to stabilize the dream, but I am already on the threshold of waking up, strangely controlling both my dream and real body at once, but apparently my stabilization attempt soon failed and I find myself having waken up. I got too stressed to journal again. I'll probably continue for real once summer holidays come around in nearly exactly a month. I actually chanted a mantra and used a special thought technique I can't really explain to kind of bypass the way you'd usually have this only incubate a fake lucid dream instead of actually causing awareness, and I guess it worked. It's like I went "behind" the normal thought? Only I really know what I'm talking about with that, I guess, at least I hope at least I will if I rediscover this some time. Nobody ever understood the way I explained how my brain worked. People tend to think these are metaphors, but I feel like I physically navigate my thoughts. While that's not what happens, of course, that's the input I'm getting and doing the same "movement" produces consistent results. It's weird like that. Also, I'm tired so I'm rambling about this, probably mostly as a big note to self so that I can reproduce this, since this is the first time a technique just straight up worked first try to that extent. I do wonder why the stabilization didn't work, though. And I tend to always find myself kind of "blind" in dreams, I've noticed that here as well. It's like my whole vision is covered by a blind spot, like how your thumb disappears if you move it into the right location, it makes it hard to stay in a dream. I feel like I only know some of the visual information because I just kind of know without seeing it, and that's annoying me. But I can't say reality is a whole lot different, honestly. My perception is always weirdly "blind" like that, like a very insidious form of tunnel vision. Enough rambling now. I still think this was probably the closest I've ever gotten to stabilize a lucid dream, so overall, this was a success. Good.
Strange magic dragon dream I am at building C of my school, on the second floor (entering from the yard, you basically have 4 important doors on the bottom floor. Two on either side, which lead to a staircase leading up all the way to the third floor, with every second platform, occurring after every second unit of stairs, leading to the corresponding floor. In front and behind you, you have exits, the former leading directly to the street and the latter to the school yard. To your left, you have a freestanding stairway, leading up to a platform, whose shape can be imagined as a rectangle without the bottom edge showing the path you can walk along, the path fitting to the wall. From there, multiple rooms can be accessed and also two doors leading to the left and right staircases to the other floors). There, I apparently have a kind of private lesson with a teacher I actually do not particularly like, but, apparently he wants to teach me, and a small group of other people who want this, how to become a dragon and I guess to harness that kind of magic(? not sure about the magic part. might have had to do with fire). Thus, I enter the class. I was excited, but had a kind of feeling in me that this would be too good to be true. Though, then, after a while, it did kind of work and I guess I transformed into some kind of humanoid dragon form. I felt a great amount of the feeling of freedom and also a kind of wildness along with this. I remember knowing that this would just be a small taste and that there was more potential in this ability. At this point, I guess I had remembered others and also myself couldn't see this happen (despite us having seen it before; it was kind of contradictory, even the moment this came up) and I thought that this would just be too good to be true and that I was stuck in wishful thinking again. The teacher wanted us to try flying, but I thought that was kind of stupid, considering the fact that apparently the bell had rung and everyone was moving to their other classes, so everyone would just think we're crazy and other teachers would get angry at us, so I just waited, despite my anxiety, as I knew the teacher was impatient, but that was just way too stupid of an idea to me. So, eventually, everyone had seemingly moved and I felt like nobody was going to see this, so, after watching some of the others in my group managing to lift off and fly around, I tried flapping my arms (despite me knowing that we were doing this because apparently we had learned to develop our wings enough), and, as I failed to lift off, I felt like my worries were confirmed and was discouraged, but did not have the plan to give up. I subsequently woke up. Finally started journaling again. There has just been a lot of stressful stuff going on in my life, which has prevented me from continuing this for quite a while. I actually only remembered this because I saw a cloaked person outside, which reminded me of harry potter, which reminded me of this for some reason. Weird. Legend: Dream Notes Awake
Infinity nightmare There's something with infinite dimensions. Something is infinitely backward in comparison to a lower integer, because of which I feel an unfathomable amount of fear. Later in the night, it continued, where apparently some number wasn't allowed to be reached, otherwise, it would wrap around to 16, which made me feel the same amount of fear. Buying stuff in a store with school class I am at a store. There, I buy something and apparently I am there with my mother, who is not happy because I am apparently supposed to be there with a school class. The first dream was a geometric night terror as a result of what seemed to be a fever. After I woke up, I was unable to notice that the ruleset of the dreams did not apply to real-life for a while.
Half-Life 2 and imbalanced transformation Apparently, I am Gordon from Half-Life 2 in this scene. Dr. Kleiner is with me in a half-destroyed room. There are big holes in the wall and debris on the floor, as well as a bridge made of metal grating and a pulley mechanism attached to it, which can be drawn in/out from within this room to pass over to another building, like in Half-Life 2: Episode One. He tells me to do something with suit batteries, and I jokingly think that it's weird that the level designers did this, when in the original Half-Life 2 game, they used car batteries. Scene change. I am in the same room of my home where the 3rd dream, 19.07.2021 ended, and am myself again. I am tending to my water snails which are in a jar between many plant pots. Then, I have a fake memory where my mother apparently blew into something which resembles a fallen-off flower blossom, which can apparently transform you into whatever you are currently thinking about when you blow into it, but apparently, she gave it to me but I threw it away for some reason. Now, I want it again, so I look for another one and find one I think resembles it. I know it could be poisonous, so I am a bit anxious, but I blow into it to see if it would work. Instead of doing what I hoped for, it blew up into poisonous plant sap. Scene change. The previous scene transitions by me running backwards into another room of sorts which is hard to describe. It is dark and there is another metal grating bridge, and apparently, if you fall down, you fall into the bathroom of my home from the ceiling. I sit on a duplicate of the sink in my bathroom. Apparently, blowing into the blossom did do something, but it does not work because it's apparently unbalancing the forces, or something, so bad things will happen because of that. Waking up from that was really weird. For a few minutes, I couldn't remember where and who I was and had great difficulty to notice that the dream didn't really happen.
Shadow of the Colossus fragment Somehow, I "drop" into the world through a sort of panel¹. There, I drop on some sort of colossus who can apparently talk and I ask him something. 1: It probably has to do something with the fourth spatial dimension and its geometric properties.
[18.07.2021] Roach escape I am with my mother, caring for my pet roaches. Suddenly, there is thunder outside and, simultaneously, a roach presses itself through a small opening and my mother despairs as is usual with working with such escapists. [19.07.2021] Storm I am at home, laying in bed. I look outside and see that there is a very dark and massive cloud there. Eventually, though, it moves away and I stand up, hoping to take a picture of a potential anvil. Then, I am back in bed and another storm comes around. This time, it does come to lightning here. My mother, who is scared of thunderstorms, says "Oh no.." as lightning impacts somewhere nearby, and the way the thunder sounds makes it sound like that there will be a second thunder that is much louder, but it doesn't come to that, so I comment that it probably wasn't a positive lightning strike. Transformations I am at home, somewhere past about 9 pm, using my laptop in the living room, where my mother is sitting as well, using her tablet. Then, I look to the left and see a bat on the wall. First, I comment on how none of us saw that then I put my laptop aside and run away in fear of the bat attacking me, and my mother tells me that they might bite or something like that. I come near the other end of the flat when I somehow grab the bat. For a few seconds, I am standing in a sort of large mansion with a pretty blue color palette used to paint the inside with the bat in my hand. Then I am back home, trying to handle the bat without it biting me. I think about killing it or something like that as I rotate it in my hands. A bit later, for some reason, I am the bat for a few seconds, and then there's a scene change. Apparently, I invited a friend over, who can make transformations or something. First, we are standing at night at the roach terrarium in the middle of the house and I transform into something there, but I don't remember what exactly happened. Then, after a small scene change where it is now somewhere mid- or late afternoon, we go into a room where we can probably be alone. There, the friend constructs the transformations from animal samples somehow, and I am eager to try it out. First, he wants to make one with snails (Gastropoda)¹, and I am one for a second. Then, there's a scene change again and I am back to normal. My mother wants something from me and I tell the friend to hide what he's doing, and then I go outside to distract my mother. Then, my father comes and wants something from the room so he just goes in, and luckily, the friend had hidden everything except the animals he was taking samples from, so my father asked what he was doing. As I woke up, I felt some disappointment, since it was pretty interesting. 1: This was just because I stumbled across the term on Wikipedia yesterday.
Close call with ghost leviathan area I am at the mountain island in Subnautica, and for some reason falling down into the water at the side like a rock. I am a bit scared of the reaper, but then I notice a hole, which I go in, but I notice the water color suddenly gets really dark and I am afraid a ghost leviathan might spawn so I quickly retreat. Command and Conquer with Angela Merkel I am on a sort of flat, circular island which is in its entirety surrounded by very spiky and cartoon-ish mountains, which also nearly split the island save for a ~10 meter gap. There is apparently a battle. It also seems to be a recurring dream, where last time there was an intense battle with mammoth tanks and artillery walkers, now it is that in my fraction the leader is Angela Merkel and apparently this time, after a short battle, for some reason they apparently realize they need to nuke each other, and so they do. Yeah, idk what that second dream was.
Survival in chaos Dream fragment. There was some sort of survival situation, it seems to be happening with some sort of massive creatures or robots the dream itself compares to war of the worlds. At some point, at the location shown below (map day2_coast_09, Half-Life 2), a character imagined what it'd be like to be so powerful, which the dream illustrated. First, you saw a war of the worlds tripod emerge from the ocean, then, as it passed through an area where you can't see it, it turned into this large, bulky, and black robot and approaches something to fight it. War in my home There is a war in my home, and I am laying in a bed of sort with a friend who is fighting with me. He expresses his concerns if this position is safe, but I say that I can just play dead, but he doesn't feel safe so he runs away. Then, suddenly somebody discovers me, somebody with a female voice, who insults me and then crushes my skull. After just a second, it switches to the view of my friend. Then, there's a scene change. The war's over. A man is running around and complaining that he has to clean up. Apparently, there's a bunch of scorpions around because somebody broke a terrarium of sort. He puts away a few flower pots on the window sill and sees many small scorpions, which he crushes. Then, he sees what seems to be a dead tarantula on a cardboard box, which I know he thinks is a scorpion, which he whacks with something to make sure it's dead. Then, what appears to be an extremely agile spider jumps towards the man and I switch from spectator to active, as I then run away from the spider thing, which is now a butterfly or moth. It lands right in my face, and I try to wipe it off but it won't come off, which I explain to myself as the fact that it is way too flat. Then, somebody comes and gives me something which makes it easier to remove. Coast screenshot:
RTG = Radioisotope thermoelectric generator Finding my cat I am looking at some sort of website where we can apparently get a large list of benefits if we register, including ~350€. And apparently, they are saving cats they found alone outside by giving them away to new owners. I am afraid of that because one of my cats is roaming around outside after they ran away, but she always sticks to a certain area around my house, which means I can easily find her. But then I am not sure if she got taken away by that organization. Later, I find her in a bush and one of those people from the organization is wondering what I am doing, or maybe I just thought that they did, but I explain that this is my cat. Later, I think that it might have not been mine and that the cat just looked like mine. But I tell my mother anyway, and I ask if we should carry her home to save her or if we should use one of those portable cat cage-like things. She says we should use the latter. Makeshift RTG I am putting the last piece into my makeshift RTG: the radioactive material. It's this large pellet; it resembles ~2kg of plutonium, but in the dream, it's apparently not plutonium and I am having problems finding the name of it on the periodic table. I think it begins with W. Later, I show it to some friends on Discord, and when I return to it, the walls and ceiling of the space where the pellet is in are red hot, which is apparently according to how it's supposed to work. I feel around about 30cm above the ceiling of the little chamber in the middle, in which the pellet is sitting, and I feel the extreme heat of the chamber, even on my torso. I am also a bit worried that some of the heat I feel might be caused by radioactive particles hitting me. I have made a drawing of the makeshift RTG and also got the picture that the dream got inspired from: Drawings Picture of plutonium pellet
Ghost leviathan sighting Fragment. I see a ghost leviathan, maybe I am floating on the surface of the void in Subnautica. If any image of this thing wasn't so terrifying for me I would've had a great dream sign. Oof.
Updated 06-26-2021 at 12:22 AM by 96397 (Fixed date)
Fever dream Something like having forgotten something, along with some sort of pain associated with it. Right before I went to sleep I had taken a medication against allergy symptoms which made me horribly tired as a side effect.
Getting chased lucid I am with multiple people in a sort of changing room with many lockers. I do the nose plug RC and realize that I am dreaming. Since this dream is a nightmare, I am a bit worried, and try to get out of the situation first. I end up on a high mountain. I didn't have motivation to write down this dream for many days, which is why it's not really detailed.
Talking about my health It's night, and I'm laying in bed. Someone whom I don't remember is laying in a bed somewhere in the room. We're sending each other messages in the form of newspapers we write with magic, possibly with a wand. We tell each other about our health, apparently. Towards the end he says something along the lines of "You shouldn't complain so much" and that makes me mad, so I just go to sleep, possibly after a remark from my side. - I transiently wake up, and, after a minute, I go back to sleep. - Harry Potter-ish lucid I am around the street where I live. I see teenagers, behaving somewhat like Ron and Hermione, and I go to them. Suddenly we're in a sort of organization, and we walk behind a house, where we're hidden, and we practice magical spells. I say that I'd especially like to practice forbidden spells (I seem to refer to forbidden in Hogwarts), which the characters behaving like Ron and Hermione seem to like. Small scene change, I'm now walking away from that practice area with the characters I'll just call Ron and Hermione now, for convenience. I spontaneously become lucid. I think for a moment of what to do, and I decide to grow dragon wings since I've always wanted to experience flight. I tell them to watch what I can do, and I try to grow the wings, focusing. But it doesn't work, so I just remark: "Hm, doesn't work..." Scene change. Semi-lucid now. We're in a classroom, apparently in Hogwarts. There's an old, grumpy-looking woman who's the teacher. I'm sitting next to Ron. He says we're getting tests now, and as he says that, the teacher puts a piece of paper on each of our sides of the desk. Still semi-lucid, I decide to do the test. When she gave everyone a test, she says we should start, and I take out a pen. Now lucidity is gone. I talk for a while with Ron, not noticing I should work on the test. As the teacher walks by, I quickly take my test and try to look as if I'm working, and the teacher seems to simply ignore the fact that my test is empty, despite having had 5 minutes of time to work on it. I try to work on the first task, which is to rearrange a given set of letters magically into a specified sentence. I try to think really hard and see if I can remember the spell, but I don't, so I reluctantly put my hand up to ask the teacher. She comes over to me, and I tell her I don't remember the spell. She simply says that one surely wouldn't need more than a pen to finish this test, in a sort of humiliating way. I don't really care that she tried to humiliate me, but more about the fact that it seems pretty incompetent that she doesn't even know her own test. So, I just look around the class, and I spot a boy constantly farting, and the boy behind him clearly not enjoying that, putting his head down on his desk in anguish. That second dream was nice, just a spontaneous DILD. Just annoying my dream control didn't work, and that I forgot about stabilization and increasing lucidity. The farting boy clearly represented my totally mature classmates in real life, although the boy was a bit closer to the age where one would usually be expected to do something as immature as that.
Forgot to document this one. Nearly lucid There is something related to the movie the dark tower. I am younger. There is some sort of man with a spaceship, and we had an adventure and it was time to say goodbye as we stand on the sidewalk next to the place I live. We have a sort of discussion. Scene change. In my room. Am on the computer at night and there is some sort of loud screaming coming from my computer speakers and I felt something was about to happen. I frantically went to mute my audio, but it didn't work. This made me wonder if I am dreaming, so I pinched my nose and breathed through it, but I either tried teleporting away and it didn't work, or I just didn't understand the result of my reality check and just planned to continue on with the story. Either way, I woke up because of a noise in real life. I thought of reality checking because that is actually a recurring situation in some of my lighter nightmares, and the feeling was familiar as well. It was also pretty surprising since I didn't do my routine for a long time now. There was also a recurring scene, where I anticipated that I'd meet a screaming female character that has a horrible amount of terror associated with her; I think I had dreamt about her when I was little.