side notes

Unspecific fragment
I remember standing in front of the door to the staircase connecting all flats of my house. Otherwise, I only remember wanting to remember the dream once I woke up since I recall that the dream was great.

---

I guess school killed recall.

Reviewing life moments after death
I am in complete darkness, and the only thing that I can still sense are my memories. There is a sort of sad music, but it has a happy and ethereal to it, like I was done now and no longer had to worry about anything, but now it is all over in exchange. It was some sort of synth instrument maybe, but there was definitely piano. I relive the memory of when I was 4 and apparently a cousin and his mother were coming up to visit us. I came to see them. Then, probably a few years later, apparently the house of them were now right next to ours, only about 8 meters needed to walk to the other's house entrance. It was night, and the cousin was visiting. At some point later we apparently flooded their house, which was extremely big, with phosgene for some reason and left to my house. At some point I looked to the window and it was pitch black outside. My mother smelled something weird at some point, and I suggested it might be the phosgene, so I closed our windows. Had problems closing the left one, though, and it had a weird design. Back in the black, I kept thinking how I really wished that you could just turn back time. At some point I also thought about my borther.

---

That was deep.. also, that phosgene part was weird.

Joining a forum about spirits after a ghostly experience
I am in a dark house, it seems to be my home. A TV is running on static. Suddenly I have some sort of paranormal experience which freaks me out which seems to be about some recently deceased grandpa or uncle, so I join a forum about that and try not to glance at threads, especially not image threads because I was still very freaked out. I either make a post or read a post that was like the experience I had. The experience might have had something to do with American Indian mythology.

---

School started, so all lucid progress is basically lost until next holidays.

Weird game fragment
It was about some sort of Mario party-esque game, but in real life and as such pretty dangerous. It might have involved later mentioned Skype and in real life friends. There might have been other things that happened.

Distance fragment
I was making a Distance level, using some quite advanced level editor tricks to achieve a specific, pretty trippy effect. I showed this to the aforementioned Skype and in real life friends. There might have been other things that happened as well.

Warehouse 13 and old man sacrifice fragment
There might have been something about a friend dying, maybe something other than human that became a friend to the team. Then it was sort of like a spaceship like in The Orville, but like in a previous dream, where a whale creature was saved. Something was about to destroy the ship, and the only thing that could save it and everyone on it was the sacrifice of a very nice old man who wasn't supposed to die yet. He understandably got a bit depressed and didn't want to talk to anyone, so he just went to the elevator and went all the way to the top, where he'd die and thus save the ship.
Suddenly, the dream starts again, but I have the memory of before. I tell the first officer that I had the memory of the future, and thus they apparently sent someone different. But then I watched the old man also going to the elevator and I shouted "Wait! They sent someone different!", but he didn't hear it. I ran to the elevator and at first wanted to send an elevator up to the old man to signal that they sent someone different, but noticed that it wouldn't work. Even though I had already selected a floor, I hammered the button on my floor, but then I pressed the door button and it opened, even though I had already sent the command to send it away. I selected the floor right under the deadly top floor, and my elevator quickly caught up with his. Both elevators had glass walls at at least one direction. I hammered on the walls and shouted "They sent someone different! Wait!" and he noticed me. He was sitting on the floor of his elevator, said. We met on the floor right under the top floor. I ran to his elevator door and as it opened I told him "They sent someone different already! You don't have to go anymore!" but he just told me "No.. they sent someone different already, but it did not work, I have to go anyway...". I was
quite sad and shocked now. "Oh.. o-okay.. goodbye..." I had no idea what to even say. His doors closed, and his elevator went away, sending him to his death.

Fleeing from Rumpelstiltskin
I was at home, and there was a Skype friend and an old primary school friend. It was not in the past though, and thus, the primary school friend had aged. I was doing some chemical experiment involving chlorine for some reason on the floor without any protection. Then the skype friend brought me something and I poured it into the experiment. But suddenly I had forgotten what I was even pouring into what and panicked slightly. But then I noticed that it didn't smell like chlorine, so it was fine, so I just let it be and stood up and went into a corridor, where you can go into the kitchen and the living room, as well as at the far left end out of the house. My friends asked me what I was doing, and I showed them a bag of magic items. They were amazed. I said that we'd revive the magic again. I asked my skype friend to bring me something again, and he took a school bag of items and unpacked it, for some reason in the living room. My mother asked what it is, and I said some excuse that worked out well. So we left the house with all the items. Then at some point we were at a house. In between something relating to Rumpelstiltskin happened and we were fleeing, along with like 7 other people. We came to a building and went in. At some point we wanted to leave, but the entrance collapsed for some reason, but I told them we could get through, but everyone except for me ran back into the house. Luckily, only the entrance collapsed a bit. I went out, though, in fear of the building collapsing. I then ran around outside and spotted Rumpelstiltskin, disguised as a worker, since there was sort of like a large runway, maybe for an airport, directly adjacent to the house. After 20 minutes I accidentally came really close to Rumpelstiltskin, and he mumbled "When's he going to go in again...", but I actually thought it might be good to come in. I went in and went up to a high floor and told everyone where Rumpelstiltskin was. A few girls were browsing eBay, and listed some things we needed, including glass. But I said that we need it in borosilicate, since we need lab items to ease our survival, since we were planning to go to the enchanted forest like from Once Upon a Time. They said it is a stupid idea. One of us had like a dog-like face, which was apparently normal, but one made a joke if I could build a gun with a name something related to dogs which he could should the dog person with, which was just a very morbid joke. I answered by just saying I can't build guns, just fuel. Then we decided to leave and all went out. A lot of people jumped from like 10 meters high up down without hurting themselves, but I took the stairs, as any sane person would. Only one other guy came with me to the stairs, but it was full of spider webs and I asked him to remove them a bit with his feet, and he did it and I came down as well.

Monk dream
There was something about the crime series Monk.

Thunderstorm dream
There was some quite cool storm. It was really dark and a cool atmosphere.

---

That was a VERY long dream and lots of recall. That was really cool. No lucids, though. Maybe tomorrow.

Improbable lucid fragment
I don't remember the dream itself, but that I thought that it probably wasn't lucid. In the end I remember that some insane guy dragged me into a room and chopped my head in half with a chainsaw. I seemed to already be dead, so I only felt a tickling on my head as I watched in third person. He seemed to also have done it with another person and we were paralyzed to death or something.

Lego lucid
I don't remember how I got lucid, but I had an idea and I wanted to have some space. So I wanted to go outside, to the garden. Thus, I went to the door of my home and opened it, hoping for the garden to be right there. It took a few attempts, but then I was in the garden and I wanted to do something but then, suddenly there were some strange people that wanted to punch me or something so I decided to try and go to a large plains, apparently one from lord of the rings. I then wanted to do something, and suddenly everything was like in lego videogame, sort of. I had like a hotbar and was in some funny colored land, like purple shades and blue. I then tried doing what I wanted to do, but I lost lucidity. I also remember at some points stabilizing, focusing on every sense while stimulating them. In the end I dreamt that vinny from vinesauce was streaming the lucid dream I had, and I was apparently giving him tips since I was apparently his friend. In the end I was waking up and had a moment of lucidity. I was in the void, and tried opening my dream eyes, but it opened my real eyes and I was awake.

---

That was cool. Finally some lucids. Now I just gotta keep it up and I'll have consistent lucids. I'll say the first one was a lucid since I was at least close. Also, I have no idea how to train myself to keep my eyes closed when I wake up. My mantra is already pretty complex "When I see my hands I will remember I am dreaming and I will remember that my body is in bed." so I don't think I can attach even more onto that sentence without forgetting it mid-sentence.

Blurry fragment
There is something, maybe having to do with a tesla coil or some similarly shaped pillar at my home in the living room, right beside me.

---

I waited too long with writing down my dream. I remembered it just a few minutes ago. But I remembered my mantra once again so I'll hopefully have another lucid dream soon.

School trip to a distant, abandoned mansion
I am on what is seemingly a school trip to a mansion. I don't remember much, except that I wasn't quite interested in anything. I went to some friends, but I just watched them do things. We also went to an attic. For some reason I needed an asthma inhaler and something else I don't remember. I think some person, maybe a teacher or maybe some owner of this house came up and sent us out because some things are private, but I forgot my stuff there, including the inhaler, but for some reason I hesitated telling a teacher. At some point apparently I was unconscious or dead, and I was watching some insane doctor do something with my body. Apparently he needed to cut my clothes into shape, but for some reason he cut it to girl clothes.

Creepypasta image
I was searching for something on Google images, but then I remembered that this could be the name of creepypasta things, and I was right. I saw some very disfigured thing that was horse-like, but very big and stretched and entirely pale, and it's face was just an evenly oval-shaped hole, as if it was cut away. It was in a tunnel, that looked like some tunnel from Need for Speed: Carbon on one of the canyon levels, probably the first level when you start out the career.

---

Second day where I remembered my mantra. I guess school being cancelled for now is relieving some of my stress.

Strange creepy gaster dream
It was sort of about Undertale, but not really. The only real character from Undertale was Gaster. They were sort of travelling worlds, but I don't know if it'd be permanent or not. I was happy for them, though. But then Gaster told me something unsettling. He said that the darkness was coming. My happiness faded away immediately. I tried asking him what he meant, but he didn't reply, and then they were gone. I saw that they were flying away, but something was wrong, they were only flying into a void, everything around them was the blackest it could have been. I tried warning them, but they disappeared. In the evening in my home, with my parents doing stuff around the house, I heard some documentary saying "Imagine if it was entirely dark and you couldn't see anything." or something, since apparently this darkness is like a natural disaster. I looked out the window, and no light was there. I was afraid of the window not being closed, and I didn't remember how the handle of it looked when it was closed, so I thought about opening the window and closing it again, but then I thought that'd be a bad idea. I don't remember anything else.

---

This time I remembered to do my mantra when I went to sleep. Now I just have to keep it up and I'll have some lucids again.

Walking around the city for magic
I am walking around the city with my mother for some reason. We go through houses, and in the dream that confuses me, and I also had problems recalling how we even got into the house every time we entered one (I should've gotten lucid right there, ugh). At some point, it might have had something to do with the series Charmed. In some house I saw a girl play animal crossing, and her parents watched. They also seemed to like the game. My mother told me that they're filming the trailer. In an adjacent room or maybe adjacent house they're preparing to film some trailer about animal crossing that seems to be horror-themed for some reason. I remember already seeing the trailer. A girl sits on a couch and she just bends her head backwards as if she fell unconscious or something, and they'd zoom into her face and behind her is a TV playing a video on loop. It would be framed so that it would look like her unconscious face is floating in front of the images zapping by as creepy and intense music played, like House of Leaves from Kevin MacLeod. At the end I met my friend Steven on a sidewalk
and he looked pretty different. We were happy to see each other. My mother told us something. At some point I also got home with my father, half-naked for some reason. There were also some personal parts at some point.

---

Got a bit closer to doing a mantra, but still forgot. I guess I am just too stressed, and will be for a long time, so I'll just try to do something.

Dragon dream
I transform into a dragon at some point, it seems like an ability I have in the dream. I was getting mad at somebody. It was sort of in this like special bar like area, that seems to be becoming a recurring location. There are some of my friends there, I think.

---

Sadly I don't remember having any sensation of my form in the dream, which would've helped in shapeshifting in a lucid dream.

Also, I have been totally forgetting to use my mantra so that I'd get lucid; it works nearly every time, but my memory is horrible.

School has also been destroying my recall. I know I remembered more of the dream in the morning, but firstly, I don't want my parents to see what dreams I have, idk why but it's embarrassing, and on school days I can't get myself out of bed so I wouldn't even have time to write down the dream.

LEGEND:
Black = non-lucid
Grey = awake
Blue = lucid

---

Lucid fragment
I reality check and get lucid, but either don't remember what came after it or the dream faded.

Great false awakening lucid!
Discouraged from my failed lucid that I just woke up from, I decide to do an especially aware reality check and then go to sleep with the mantra "When I see my hands I will remember I am dreaming and I will remember my body isn't real." The last part of the mantra is to make me more lucid and aware, so that I'm not just a zombie.

I then heard a noise my father made (maybe be dropped something) and got startled by it, and was disappointed. But I did a reality check, and, to my surprise, I breathed right through my plugged nose and was in a lucid dream. I immediately stood up and decided to leave my home. I tried looking away and back, imagining there'd be a door. I wanted to go to a specific place, but I ended up going into a mall. For some reason I suddenly had a VR headset on my head and my lucidity slipped a bit and things started getting unclear, both since that's something that happens if you don't have your VR headset on correctly and because the dream was fading, but as I took it off it caught itself. For a few seconds, I was somewhere else, but returned to the mall without really noticing. The place might have been full of brownish sand and sort of boxed in somehow.

Now, back in the mall, I run around and explore, excited, although not as aware as in the beginning anymore, but still better than any other lucid dream I've had. I see a small (100ml volume?) box of sodium iodide and think about trying to blow something up (that's hard with sodium iodide, but, again, I had lost awareness in the VR headset segment), but I ended up not trying, both because I didn't know if they'd have any chemical that'd work out with it (forgot that you could summon things since my awareness was shit) and because I didn't want to anymore. As I thought about it, I had actually tried to grab the box of it, but I only had the lid in my hands since it slipped off, and somebody was mad at me since I grabbed it (I had a small fear that someone would notice, but I didn't really care since I was sure I could just flee). And thus, I fled.

I then decided to try some shapeshifting again. I looked at my hands and saw that I had way too many fingers than normal (about 14 on my right hand), so I tried to touch things with the hand to see how having more fingers feels like, and it felt like normal, just slightly different. It's hard to describe. But I didn't want to continue to do something else that is more personal.

I went to a sort of computer terminal and input commands and hoped for them to appear in the dream, but it didn't quite work out. At some point I did a stabilization attempt by inspecting my hands, but still nearly woke up, but ended up back at a sort of bodyless distant view that was even less aware of the terminal, which now looked like a piano/organ, and apparently dracula was playing on it. It sort of was like a comedic variation of some sort of area in a video game. I then sort of had to click on the piano to go to the terminal again to continue typing, and it still didn't work, and then I woke up.

---

That awareness drop after the vr segment was annoying, but being that aware at all was progress, at least. I think I will add something to get more aware of dream control in my dreams.

Also, the first lucid fragment resulted from an extra aware reality check yesterday before I went to bed, since I was a bit disappointed that I couldn't reality check all that much because of school eating my time and stressing me.

Another lucid dream!!!
(I'm not sure if this part came before or after I got lucid, but I doubt I was lucid)
I have something to do with Buffy the vampire slayer. I seem to just follow the team she has around. I don't remember what they did, or if they even did it. The scene just might have jumped. Anyway, I see the team gathered around Buffy, and Buffy simply said "Goodbye" or something like that, and everyone else replied "Goodbye" back to her, and the group went home. Buffy stood there for a bit, and I walked by her and said "Bye Buffy". I then thought that I like these "interactive movies" in which you are in the movie and seemingly just follow the protagonist. I then went into a sort of dance club for some reason. In the dream it was supposed to be the same club the characters always go to, but in the dream it was really, really tiny and only few people were in it, as opposed to in the series. I didn't like it there, so I left.

Then I was at a shopping district relatively close to my home. I suddenly had the thought "What if I am dreaming?", and thus I tried the nose plug reality check. As expected, I breathed through my closed nose, and I was lucid. Then the scene changed to my room. I then wanted to do something, but remembered dream stabilization techniques. So I rubbed my hands together for a bit, then I held them up in front of my face and inspected them. The dream was then like real life. There was someone there with me, and there was someone coming that wanted to kill us. For some reason, I really wasn't there emotionally. I was quite calm, trying to summon a weapon by having it appear in my hands, but I only got these really weird ammunition related things on beside which were some sort of ammo display, which I had no use for. I tried a few more times, and every time until the last one only got these strange ammo related things, but in the end I got a small hand burner, and decided to try and protect ourselves from the guy that wanted to kill us. I ran to the guy. He was some really tough motorcycle gang type guy. I tried burning his throat, but he didn't care. He just said something mocking I don't remember. So I ran back into the room and the guy I was with got killed by being shot. Strangely, the attacker wasn't close enough yet. He might also have been shot at the beginning already. Well, I stopped caring and tried to do shapeshifting stuff. I did the thing a shapeshifting tutorial says: I made another finger so that I could feel what it is like to have extra limbs. So I made another finger on the left of the pinky finger of my left or right hand, I'm not sure. I tried moving it and it worked, but it was connected to the pinky and ring finger, like the ring finger is connected to the pinky: they moved all at once. It frustrated me for some reason and I thought that it'd be better if I made it on the other side of the hand. It also seems like my hand was mirror inverted. I pushed the other finger back into my hand, but it didn't quite want to disappear, so I slapped it in and it made the Minecraft effect as if it died, and it was gone. I then forgot that I wanted to try and make more fingers. I then tried making two more legs, starting from my lower back. It worked a bit, but they seemed to disappear quickly, and they had barely any sensation. I didn't even see them. The little sensation my legs had reminded me of horses. I then decided that I want to leave the room, so I wanted to imagine a large black box that would've stood behind me with a button that would've brought me away, but I woke up and forgot about DEILD and only have a digital way of writing down my dreams, so I woke up completely and took my laptop to write this.

---

I am happy that I suddenly have lucid dreams. I am a bit sad that I was not really there with my mind, that I didn't really have emotion and also keep forgetting things, and that I can't manage to notice when the dream is falling apart so that I can stabilize it again. But I am happy I had a lucid dream at all, especially since I had one just yesterday.

Grey = awake
Yellow = non-lucid
Blue = lucid

---

There's something to do with Regina from once upon a time and a witch. They want to go somewhere with some circular magical construction in a gigantic warehouse made out of a black material, but they need food. Thus the evil witch decides to bring Henry from the same series as food. Regina of course says no and provides the food they need. Henry still goes with them, though. Suddenly there's a scene change to people going insane and violently throwing themselves onto their children. Suddenly I am one such child and someone sits down on me, and I wake up.

---

That was a weird dream with horrible themes. Not good.

Making horror levels gone wrong
I am in some level editor, possibly from a game by Frictional Games. I am placing some sort of monster, but how it looks makes me unsettled. Then, I suddenly heard a voice in my computer. "I see you..". I then felt so unsettled that I wanted to close all the editors. But then I opened the game window and pressed refresh, which made changes I made in the editor appear. I had originally planned to immediately press escape and exit the game, but that plan was interrupted by the monster suddenly appearing right in front of the camera, sitting in a chair of sorts making strange noises which had me frantically and in terror planning my next actions. I was so startled that I woke up.
-
After this, I woke up quite early, so I went to sleep again.
-

Awakening to lightning
I'm not sure if I had some dreams before or after this, but I have a false awakening that simply consists of some lightning outside. Usually, I would go and take pictures, but I forget and go to sleep again, the storm soothing me to sleep quite quickly.
-
After this, I once again wake up early and just close my eyes again, jumping back into my dreams within seconds.
-

Adventure as a shapeshifting being
I am a being that seems to be able to change to its will. It is limited, but I do not know how. I have quite a few friends that are also special in specific powers. I feel free and am usually quite happy and cheery to my friends, as are they. I don't remember exactly what we did together, I only know we were happy. I only know of our main goal, which was to recover some sort of artifact an enemy of us has. After a while, we get there and we are sort of on a long pathway suspended up in the air in a large temple-like, abandoned chamber full of moss and water flowing out of the walls in small but noticeable amounts.

I run towards the enemy and recover the artifact, which allows me to turn into a creature which is gigantic and has immense power, and sort of resembles a ghost leviathan from Subnautica. I fly around the enemy, and I think I am devouring it. I get a third person view of this. Then I accidentally hit one of my friends with part of my tail, and she quickly collapses, dying. At first, I don't notice, but then I notice and get a very sinking feeling. My gigantic, four eyed face then approaches the friend laying on the ground. I am filled with guilt. Then the dream ends.

Extremely unclear fragment
The only thing I remember is that it contains the stairwell of my house.

---

The first dream stems from me making a SOMA mod. Not sure where that monster came from, though. It resembles Granny from the horror game of the same name, but I haven't thought of it for a while.

The second dream stems from me wishing for lightning storms and seeing that now as spring is coming, the clouds are getting larger much quicker.

The third dream stems from me not really feeling free as much, nor having any very good friends in real life. Not sure where the shapeshifting part came from, but it was quite cool. This dream made me want to lucid dream again and that's why I returned to the forum. I'm glad I did, I missed detailing my dreams here.

I don't really know anything about the fourth dream.

Tornado
I am outside with my father, on the way back to our home. We're already very close, just about 100 meters away from it. We see my mother for some reason doing something in an empty store, placing science equipment onto the counter in front of the window. My father says something which makes me suspicious that they might be gifting me the store as a workspace. While advancing closer to our home, I start debating in my mind if this could actually happen, which is quickly interrupted by my father telling me to look somewhere.

I look where he looks and we see a very, very dark cloud with lots of lightning. At first, we were both happy about this, but then, we suddenly see a very quick tornado zoom by, seemingly in random, chaotic patterns. We try to go back to my mother, but we apparently overshoot the target and end up in a shopping district about 600 meters from our home. I notice this and tell my father, so we turn around and again try to get to her. We go back a bit, then turn around again, before then again turning around. I asked my father which store she was in again, as I had forgotten because of my bad memory. My father said he doesn't know and we walk towards the house again. We then overshoot the target once again and end up in what was apparently a room in our flat. We're then suddenly at ground level in the house again, standing in front of the staircase to the higher floors and my father states something along the lines that we can't go outside again. I also knew it was too late to try to warn my mother.

A while later, my mother comes through the door, seemingly not having noticed the storm, nor the tornado. I come to my mother, suddenly standing a bit further outside, and tell her that there was a tornado here, before seeing it zoom by again, making me correct myself and making me point to it. She sarcastically states that that's absolutely amazing and we go inside.

Sudden (semi-)lucidity
I am standing in the bathroom, my mother ominously standing in the back of the room, behind the toilet. She seems to look up outside the skylight. She appears to say something which I don't remember but was just as creepy as the way that she was standing there. Suddenly, I become (semi-?)lucid and run over to my room right next to the bathroom. I pushed my chair to my computer table, before trying to change random things on my face to see if I could do it. It didn't work, and I tried remembering lucid dreaming articles about dream control. I then recalled you could, for example, drink something and imagine it was a potion that would change something. I felt a bit afraid of that because I wasn't entirely sure if this really was a dream. On my computer, a DreamViews page was opened, but before I could check it out, I woke up.

Short false awakening
I "woke up", looking outside the window to the clouds. Something felt unusual, but I don't know what.

Staircase
I am on the staircase to my home. There're some changes, and it resembles an older dream from the design. I walk up the narrow staircase, having to go through strange doors leading to homes, as well as things like hospitals. The first room I had gone through was empty and had no people in it, the second had a doctor talking through a procedure with the son of a woman who seemed to be a neighbor in the previous version of the dream. I listened to the conversation a bit, before trying to exit the room to continue up the stairs. I woke up before I could continue walking.

---

I'm not sure if the presumably lucid dream was actually that or just something else that I could mix up in retrospect. I seemed to be consciously in the dream, but I somehow didn't even think too much about anything else than what I had programmed into myself as what I first want to try to get a feel for lucid dreams, I didn't really think. Is that what a semi-lucid dream is?