fogelbise

Thu, 26 Mar 2015:
*** short LD x2 + WILD=No.300!!!! 1030pm quick bts@1240am wbtb recording dream only but took at while @420am (5h50) first awakening @1240 had some vague recall of ideas. Decided not enough to use for bts visualizing and didn't record.


420am wake from an "I was just there" dream. Facility similar to SD in C(25 minutes W NW) or one of my past workplaces. End with helping special needs adult who was with C from work section near mailroom and a little girl. Actually before the facility we are in a store like Target or Kmart and I'm there with I think my #Dad and #Brother. My brother is pushing a shopping cart also and a little fast and draws the attention of a manager that is up on a platform about 1 story higher. I notice this and motion like I am telling my brother to act right and get the manager to back off.

This transitions shortly after to me driving outside the aforementioned facility and was going to park in front of the main entrance and use my badge to get something I forgot inside. I don't want that manager guy (mixing the work facility with the store) to come though so I look for another place to park more out sight and get further from entrance trying to find an actual parking spot almost parking in an area that was painted off with gray border that I decided meant "no parking."

Eventually park to the left of there and I think I hear employees coming out at the end of their shift. I think about heading to my car but they will wonder why i am out here. Now I need to hide behind a crop of shrubs and small trees on a small hill above the parking area and there is a trail off to my left that I later realize has a fork that runs right behind me as well. At first it looks like some will walk towards the couple of cars in the lot below and others off to my left walking towards perhaps the train station but cut over to the fork towards me and see my feet sticking out from my hiding spot as I lay belly down on the ground looking around at where everyone is heading. When they find me it seems both groups have converged on me and I'm discovered and get up. My story is that I was going to surprise someone. "Who?" They ask like they are interested in who has a secret admirer or something. "It depends on who came by" being vague or secretive they might figure.

Talking with the ladies, I see an ID picture of C (mentioned at beginning) and this transitions to me indoors with her a little older and a little girl maybe 5 and a special needs adult. C asks the little girl to come with her while she goes to the bathroom outside(?) in case she needs to call for help and I tell the little girl who looks maybe half Black and Hispanic "yes just come back here and knock on the door like so and I can help." During this I am having a bit of a challenge keeping the special needs person from falling over holding onto him(?) as he leans various ways but mostly backwards while he is putting on his shoes or something. 5am finish typing on my phone (quieter). time flew by though.

***League game, Mom, DEILD
I'm getting ready for a game and the game before us that seems to have implications on who we might play in the playoffs. it seems the underdog won tonight...could affect our playoffs. Oh no I think I'm not fully suited up yet and I look up and some guys are playing Basketball and my teammates are all gone and I realize that I'm dreaming. I float up a little bit in the gymnasium before waking up. On waking this reminds me to check status of playoffs and related email when i get up later. 298


I'm in the car with my mom who's driving and the road looks a little strange as I look closer it looks like the road has been taken out by some disaster but there's still a strip of it left and I ask my mom if we are sleeping and then I realize yes this is just a dream. I float up out of the car a bit before waking. 299

Yesterday I was thinking how I have shortchanged my LD count in the past whenever I had a really short LD often not counting them but I decided that was not right…so I counted those last two but will not make any adjustments to past counting…too much trouble and probably not very significant.

Trying to get in a super comfortable position after my wife leaves and has set the alarm I am determined to get back to lucid dreaming and hold on to it for number three hundred! Not a super impressive lucid dream but it was much longer than those last two and I achieved my first WILD in a little while! (FM and CL if reading: still no G yet, only apple juice but may try soon). I am very happy with how my overall wild transition went seemingly never losing consciousness as well. I was getting significant HI's (just imagery). Even reposition myself somewhat slightly and get back to the HI's. In the sequence that led to the dream entry it started with a white shape, somewhat complex, on a black background. It was like a morphing white circle with some gashes cut into it mostly along the right and bottom making the white parts in that section look like curved knives. Mentally reminded myself to only observe it passively but in retrospect I think I was already fully in a dream based on the next sequence and the stability of the white on black HI.

In the next sequence I am looking at a movie screen size and shaped image forming in front of me taking up most of my field of view with just blackness on the edges, formed from the previous white circle on black, and I start to get imagery that I thought was coming from my waking life eyes of the wall that I'm facing towards, from my position in bed...but I see that if I keep my eyes just a sliver open that I can continue to see the imagery and block out the view from my room. this was all part of the dream however because I realized that I'm still wearing my sleep mask and I would not be able to see the wall in my room at all.

I come more and more into the image and eventually I'm fully in the scene but it is not clear yet. I stay patient and before long I am in a beautiful sunny daytime scene with green grass and houses and a wall nearby that I go for, to rub on the cement wall to stabilize the visuals. It works. I float up a little bit but then I decide to land.

There are a lot of people around now and I'm checking out the DC's. I walk up to one group and at first they look at me curiously but then look absolutely terrified and run off! This is not something I've seen since purposely trying to scare DC's. Interesting. I see more people whose path I'm going to cross and as we approach each other the same thing happens, they look terrified!

I see a restaurant whose whole front wall is all big glass windows, so you can see inside and it looks like it is full, hosting a busy party with DJ lights despite being daytime outside it looks a little darker in there. It has an interesting symbol on the outside that gives me the impression that it is Asian Restaurant of some kind. I make my way towards the restaurant passing a few other terrified groups of DC's and I stand outside the door thinking about what I want to do next and I decide to go in, it could be interesting. As I go in the visuals start to fade but I remain calm and I can still make out shapes of people moving around and eventually decide to walk back outside the restaurant and observe from the outside where had no issues.

Eventually I got down on the ground laying on my stomach with my head propped up on both my hands, my elbows on the ground and just watched what was going on around me in wonder. After a while I could feel a little pressure on my left shoulder and was feeling like it was my waking life shoulder tired from laying on my side but I was able to shift back to my dream body and feel myself completely off of that sore shoulder and back on my stomach with my head propped up by my two hands, elbows on the ground which was a weird shift in orientation from side laying to a more upright straight on forward position. Eventually focus shifted back to my sleeping body and my shoulder who wanted me to turn over into a more comfortable position and I transition completely to my waking body and woke up smiling big and turned over to my other side! No.300

Side notes: RC's had more impact yesterday after the LD where I almost couldn't believe I was dreaming and felt totally awake. I did drink 6oz of apple juice this night a little after 9pm, after one night off from apple juice and 10 days or more off before the two nights before that. AJ always seems to help with vividness and putting me "there." This is also the 3rd night in a row with LD's and 3rd night in a row where my only focus during wbtb was on recall. Upon btb I am only visualizing becoming lucid in the previous dreams. No mantras or SSILD. I have also been better about checking off any daytime worries or thoughts quickly and getting back to dreamy thoughts.

Wed, 25 Mar 2015:
1am(late game) 545 (4h45) skip apple juice not expecting much opportunity after tiring game. My #brother, #mom and #dad all #exchanging #gifts. Some gift that has been great for something since some past time period. Spending $90 for a gift seems like an odd amount and if it came up more than once.


Ex KM's family, her mom was taking a rest after hosting me and now I am talking to P, ex's brother. It is great to see them. Occasion? Recalling if a trip dream sign involved: feels right.


* this feels too real! But we're totally awake! These were the feelings when I started to question the dream when I start to question if I was dreaming! I'm with my wife and she is driving into like a grocery store parking lot and she tries to pull into one space but I say that that car is just pulled in really far and there's a car in front of him so there's already 2 cars head to head and you can't park there. another car is moving a little bit so we think he's about to pull through but no he's just adjusting his space and I also interact with one of the drivers who seems to be apologizing and I say no worries . We eventually go around and park down one of the aisles a bit further away from the store but as we walk back we see there are now three spaces close and for some reason we decide to move the car. It seems like we're in then the truck today. As we walk back to the car/truck I tell my wife I don't think it was this far down but she says yes we parked all the way over by such and such. but now we're walking out of the parking lot and down the strip of stores on the main street and she says "through here" and it's an old decrepit fabric store, looks like it's been shut down but maybe you can go through back into the parking lot from here. I'm looking at it and my wife is so willingly going in through this way that I start to doubt that maybe this is a dream. She is so clean-conscious and this place looks dirty that she would be worried about cleanliness plus it doesn't look very safe. but this feels so real this can't be a dream. I looked down at my hands to RC and I have trouble seeing my hand clearly but I keep looking and eventually I can see six fingers and I realize I'm dreaming! I start rubbing my hands together to get the visuals going stronger and the friction between my hands feels so real! That feels too real but yes I am dreaming! now I'm by myself in what looks more like the layout of a house and there are 4 bedroom doors or what I assume are bedroom doors and I go to them one by one opening them seeing what's inside by the time I get to the second one I'm already thinking about Girl Friday but nothing in the second or third room. so outside the fourth room I say Girl Friday will definitely be in there and I open it up and it looks like just an empty bed with a lot of big blankets on top and I tell myself oh yes she is definitely under those blankets and as I go to the bed and start to pull back the blankets the visuals start fading but I stay confident and calm and reach under the sheets expecting to feel her warm body and sure enough I feel her warmth and then her body and the visual start coming back. I tell her how she's been expecting me, and we are so happy to see each other and I start kissing her. we kiss for quite a while and I feel something a little bit strange with one of her teeth and I pull back to take a look and it is a small chip out of one of her front teeth it looks like she's a bit self conscious about it and to keep this realistic and like a real experience I tell her it's fine it looks very cute and that I actually have a small chip in one of my teeth as well.

Spoiler for sexual content:

I pull up her shirt and look at her beautiful breasts after having only reached under there caressing them previously while kissing.

I then start to get up to take off my clothes and I think about the conversation on DV in the Lucid sex thread and I try to rip off my clothes in one swoop of my hand but I have to actually pull them off this time! I also told girl Friday to remove her shorts and her top completely while I'm undressing and she looks so gorgeous laying there!! She is lying on her back

Spoiler for sexual content:

with her breasts compressed back little bit due to the "gravity" but they are so nicely shaped and perfect and her ahem looks so inviting with just the right amount of hair! as I crawl into position to make love to her I do

Spoiler for possible schema poison side notes but with explanation to shoot down such schema:

start to wake up and I can feel myself actually back in bed but I try to deild. But I'm too awake now too late in the morning and I know that like so many times before I can definitely have sex and stay in the dream! This one was just the end of REM and we interacted for quite a while!

No.297


No apple juice, continuation of the "switch" in my mind allowing me lucid dreams and that they don't have to preclude taking care of my business, better day practices, late night after my game, but the key may have been being able to sleep in this morning that's when the lucid dream happened before waking about 9:20 a.m. Late to bed and late to rise does also seem to help in the past. Possibly just changing sleeping schedule what helps possibly? *Also, this dream reminded me that any moment could be a dream and made my RC's have more impact the day I woke up from this LD.

Not too impressive, but just coming back from 11 day dry spell…Got a nice Girl Friday dream the next night.
(Morning of) Tue, 24 Mar 2015:
Apple juice again 2nd night, earlier than last night, this time at 830pm; 11p 3a wbtb(4h) facility with swimming pool? ; I am meeting someone and the previous person, a sweet lady or girl is helping me get ready suggests I wear a nicer shirt than my T-shirt and lays out my green shirt for me and delays the other person I'm meeting. I put it on and there is something bulging from the neckline a bit like I'm wearing a necklace and I flatten it out a bit. As I enter I am hearing that he is or was connected to a Native American and did something to protect his people or his family status or something that sounded noble. At some point going through this building a fire truck is superimposed by an image I took of the fire truck some time before when there were notices posted on its windshield...now neatly cleaned off as if they were never there.

Playing in a game this coming day so planning quicker btb and visualize only. Btb 320
In a really big house with huge great rooms with a large family. Beautiful and vivid.

*After my wife left I only had an hour to get back into a dream and did a little visualization that I'm realizing it was a dream. I'm in a big two story restaurant and I need to go to the bathroom <snip> I leave the first bathroom and get lost and subsequently find that I'm in a big gymnasium like I was thinking about during wake back to bed . I go out to check out the gymnasium and it is the second story seats or balcony but the kids are using it still as part of their basketball practice making long passes among the balcony and then from the balcony and down to the gymnasium floor where practicing basketball. All the kids are black and I figure I'll work my way down the stairs back to the original bathroom <snip>. heading down the stairs in this balcony area I'm dropping my jackets that I'm carrying and I'm trying to gather them and a couple of black kids walk up and it looks one of them like one of them is a special needs kid but has violent tendencies and the other kid calls him "Rabid." Hey Rabid this guy is something something. They leaned me back over the seat and although it doesn't seem too dangerous I told him "look if I fall backwards I'm gonna land on my head way down there and I will die. You don't want that." after about a minute of calm talking to them they let me go about my way and I realize that I could have just squeezed out an energy burst and knock them away as if I knew it was a dream.As I continue down the hall it really sinks in that I AM dreaming. I see a black lady and the dream starts to fade so I say "come here for a moment, let me hold your hand" and I grabbed her hand and feel all the details of her hand, it is warm and feels just like a hand should and the dream visuals starts coming back. I reach up under her shirt holding her back and stomach and I start to reach up for her breasts and she says no no, tonight she is very tired from a long day. I say okay, no worries I don't need to force myself on a DC, even if it is just a dream and I wasn't feeling strongly inclined to anyway. I keep rubbing her back and she seems to like that. And I see a bathroom with a bathtub across the way and I say how about a nice warm bath? I could give you a nice warm bath or I could join you and I keep rubbing her back as we walk that way before I finally fade back to bed. I lay still going over the details in my head and then when I finally allow myself to move, I release a big smile. No.296

I do wonder if it was only because of apple juice that I broke the dry streak (no apple juice next night but still had an LD (next entry with Girl Friday!). I did set an intention before sleeping and at my short back to bed and again a bit after my wife left. I did hardly anything during the day though, so busy with two different business deals. But I also came to the realization that I put lucid dreaming on the back burner and maybe just maybe I can do both!..allowing my brain to accept lucid dreaming back as at least a partial priority. who knows!?

This seems to be a good example of what my lucidity looks like when my LD practices derail. After this sporadic and seemingly short LD (unless I forgot parts of it and dwindling recall is to blame), I had an 11 day dry spell which is unusual for me this far into my practice. Such dry spells only seem to pop up every so many months…maybe 4-6 months?

Thu, 12 Mar 2015:
Chance to get lucid as I slept in the before my dental appointment to 8:25am
1030pm? 1230=quick btw 4am wbtb(5.5h) At my #uncleT 's house I go into his room several times to use the #bathroom and the last two times I notice I can hear their phone calls via the speaker phone #answeringMachine in his in-room office suite through some double doors. Some thought about what area codes may be included in a metro calling plan but they all seem to be my local area IWL not his.
Had recall at 12:30 but didn't want to record and only spent very minor brain energy to try to mentally store before realizing I may wake too much. Can't remember at moment.
Something with a #black lady that doesn't trust the Chicago? #police. I forget to tell her the train option for getting between two cities and I see a #map with train system between those two cities in a big wide u shape. A scene then plays out that we seem to be watching at my uncles house TV in crowded family room couch where a black man is being tracked by the police and he grabs a #hostage at a busy train station or airport before a #crowd surrounds him and several have #guns. One guy carefully points his #gun at him at close range and #shoots him. Gasps all around.#hostage #vigilante


Holding #baby #singing hush little baby. also watching #kids they run outside to the neighbors to get into mischief and I go inside the house to let the mother know that they ran off
*Leaving #work with some #coworkers and we're talking about some #controversy about a cell #phone or two that was issued to some people for my work including D(the hilarious guy) "you know they may still be using it to do something with the phone calls" something about cutting into phone calls. we are going to my house for some reason and the guy that does <snip> is there and I'm guessing he's inspecting what I have set up here and we all go into the same house. "might be messy" and at some point I realize I'm dreaming perhaps through the "if I were dreaming I would" mental process and I pick up one of the female coworkers and float her to the top of the two story vaulted ceiling and back down to the floor. There are a lot of #kids here and a sexy lady and I <2nd base sexual interaction> at some point I lose lucidity probably doubting whether or not I should be so sexual and more kids are arriving and I think there's too many kids maybe someone can take them to the park while we're here but one of them ladies that brings the kids says she's been to the neighbors next door and they have a lot of board games so start to go with her to knock on the neighbors door but it seems like she turns too early into my #garage and wouldn't you know coming out of my garage is my #Mom saying that she has to go somewhere and I'm happy to see her she has short blonde hair and then I realize she's not supposed to be here oh yes I'm dreaming I forgot I give her a big hug to enjoy the moment since I don't see her very often then shortly after I wake up. No.295

I guess I will try posting each night separately…see if it is more time consuming or useful.
Wed, 11 Mar 2015:
11pm? 4am wbtb (~5h) Much digging for dream recall and "train" from my dream sign checklist was the trigger that reminded me of dream where I mentioned to A (from team) where I live after seeing he is also in a newer home. "If you take the train before you get to R." "If I get there!" he says indicating he would likely never go to that place. I say it's also before C(city just over the hills)...seems my memory of geography is off - yes my city can come before those two cities but you would have to be going two different directions! "You see the new homes. None still being built but you can tell it's all one newer development." He drove me to his place in a nice sports car crossover type that makes me wonder if it is a car from England for some reason. He gets behind a slow car and speeds into the grassy shoulder on the left and around. Now at his home, he gives me a tour of his home, I see his bathtub, like modern fancy ones and when going back downstairs I see a man and a woman who appear to be a couple and one is his sibling... I think the woman. They are signing a real estate offer on a preprinted form with carbon copies. I wonder if they wonder if I took a peek at offer amount and address but they didn't seem concerned. Before this I was thinking about how PJ was disappointed in the way we lost by one point after tying it up (WL memory from that night showing up in the dream). I pass another game while heading home it seems and think a player is calling me to help their team. I need to get going but it seems I help get a piece of equipment but don't end up playing.

Feeling like I am back in bed, at some point I get a light feeling like I am moving slightly and I just enjoy it and try to do some motion-based entry into dream dancing and what not and probably already dreaming at some sleep stage. eventually images form and I am definitely in a dream but it is all very light and wispy. There is a wispy dream figure standing above me and to the left. In an attempt to bring myself more solidly into the dream, I take some swipes at "him" with much effort as if my hand is made of dream clouds. I also later get an image of a sleeping me, a close up of my face and later a woman undressing, unzipping her dress from a front zipper. Hot! Memory gap and then (maybe starting to wake into and in-between states) I hear the house alarm set by my wife as normal while at the same time feeling what seems like my wife rubbing my back and then holding me tight. I am a little confused here if it is HH or if she came back upstairs but I settle on HH or SP and try to use it but I think I woke myself up too much. I do get back to sleep and when the alarm goes off I am groggy as if in a deep sleep cycle the same as yesterday morning. we did have the time change recently which I seem to be adjusting to quite well by going to bed earlier but not as early last night because of my game. No.294

For some "meat" see my previous DJ entry, these will be very brief, sorry.

2/25/15 Thinking about someone, who just passed away, while I fall asleep and I have a related dream and realize that what is happening is impossible and become lucid (inconsistent with waking life). I have a sexual dream that as it progresses becomes weird and I use dream control to reverse the trend. #286

After Wife leaves I have an exhilarating dream in which I should have become lucid earlier involving sex with the girlfriend of someone I care about (this is the one I told you about ~10 days ago FM if you are reading this). After an near-epic non lucid sex dream I am putting on my shirt in the dream and suddenly see a huge sky full of an usually large number of stars and realize that I dreaming. I play with the stars and they start sweeping past me before becoming fixed again. Eventually hang out in the void reflecting on the crazy sex dream before. #287

2/28 dream girl initiated. This time two black ladies. #288

3/7 had been getting too lazy with day work. continue reverse eye blink and mixing up SSILD with visualizing at WBTB. An asian guy becomes an asian woman when I go to catch up to him (or I tap on the wrong shoulder) and I instantly realize I am dreaming. Sexual interaction with her. #289

3/8 Three different dream girl initiated DILDs. Basically my interaction with them is recognized as dream like and helps me to realize that I am dreaming. Sexual interactions. #290-292

3/10 Only trying to sleep tonight but stayed up longer than planned recording my dreams during an awakening, so not a true WBTB but this probably helped. Enjoying the visuals from an airplane flight I hear a song mentioning "stockyard cowboy" in the lyrics and then see a cowboy riding a bucking bronco in an impossible place down below and tell myself "this has to be a dream!" I float up from the airplane confirming and float down to the ground losing visuals for a while before recovering and running into a co-worker. #293