GoldenLight

(2009) Old Meditation


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When I was meditating a lot - every day, for at least an hour a day, I had some very surreal experiences. One memorable session occurred while I meditated without music. I had progressed to the place where I could go to a black void and just hear and think nothing. I was able to hold that for quite awhile - THEN - now, not so much.

While in this void, which is very peaceful, by the way, a figure floated toward me. I simply observed it at first because sometimes the brain does send us images, but when you get to a point that you can quiet your mind, you can discern your thoughts. This was not my thought.

The silver man looked like a solid, human form of quick silver. He was quite stunning. I don't know why I knew he was male at that point - I think I noticed his chest was male and lacked breasts - sooo that certainly would give him away.

At some point, I saw myself floating in this void, and I was my golden image. I was floating, like in a pool, on my back. He floated above me, his face looking into my face. His eyes were the same color as his body, as were his lips and every other part of him. He was not translucent like me. He was solid and you could not see 'through' him. He had no male anatomy that I could discern. As he floated above me, I got the sense he was going to do 'something' to me. I became a bit nervous but not enough to leave the meditation. I think I was far too curious, as this was one of my first encounters. I was not able to control him. And I know that sounds weird, but it was similar to a lucid dream, after what I've read in here (as I've not had many lucid dreams) when you can't control your DC. He did his own thing.

He spoke to me but I don't recall now what he said exactly. His voice was deep and definitely male. He also was talking to 'others' and I could not hear them. I never did see these other people(??). But he continued to float above me - sort of in a missionary position, but yet, he never touched me, during this session. He was sort of a sexual being, but I got the sense that he was there for me, but I didn't know what that meant at the time. I was attracted to him. He had a very domineering personality. It was not mean, it was just matter-of-fact and you're going to do this. He faded away, and I came out of my meditation. It would not be the last time I encountered the Silver Man. (kind of reminds me of the Silver Surfer - which was not out then and I never read comics) He visited me a few more times and the visitations became more intense.

Old Dream from childhood....1980's (yeah, I'm OLD)

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My mother was driving my twin brothers and me somewhere at night. It was a dark two lane road and late. I felt really scared. All of a sudden the car breaks down and she tells us to stay in the car - she's going for help. She gets out of the car. Houses line the left side of the road. These houses are on a slight hill, but nothing that my mom can't climb. It's an easy grade. She heads toward the only house with a porch light on.

From the corner of my eye, I see dark figures sneaking up to her. I know they are after and stalking her. She starts to run and they chase her. I scream (and it comes out IRL). I open up the door and burst out of the car. I run toward my mother but she is already on the ground and the men are on top of her. They are holding her down and she is screaming. I am calling to her and trying to run. As I run, I pump my arms, willing myself faster. IRL I must have swung my arms too because I scraped my knuckles on my stucco wall and this woke me up. My knuckles were bleeding slightly and my dad was in my room. He apparently heard me scream.

Old Lucid Dream from 1991 (yeah I still remember it)

My grandfather died IRL in 1991, suddenly. About a month later, I had this dream:
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I was in my grandfather's attic, but it didn't 'look' like his attic. There were boxes everywhere and it looked like someone was moving out. The attic was fairly dark and no light was on - only a bit of natural sunlight from a small, square window. In front of me was an oval standing mirror. You know, those antique looking ones? I faced the mirror and noticed some hats. These were wide brimmed hats with feathers in them. They reminded me of the hats ladies during Victorian times might have worn. I placed one of the hats on my head and as I took it off I saw my grandfather standing behind me on my left. I was startled and turned around, but he was not there.

In a flash, I was outside my grandfather's house now. It was a red brick house with a red cement porch. A sidewalk was in front of his lawn and then a small strip of grass was near the curb. Hunched over, near the curb, with one foot in the street and one foot on the curb, was my grandfather, edging the grass...just like he always did. He looked much younger than when he died but I would recognize him anywhere. My grandfather was always doing yard work. He kept a pristine lawn in real life and apparently in the afterlife too! And here I became somewhat lucid. I realized he was dead and it confused me because he looked so real, and I believe I smelled him too. He straightened at that point, stopped edging with his clippers, and looked at me.

Clear as day he said, "I'm all right. Everything is all right." Then, he hugged me and I woke up.

April 12, 2012

Day 3
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Meditated with "Between Worlds" CD hemi-sync. Survived w/o any "distractions". I noticed that I kept feeling like I was moving when I don't think I really was. I seemed to go into a light trance very quickly and float in and out of a deep trance because when in the deep trance I tended to nearly fall asleep. So, as soon as I went under, I snapped awake and was out of the deep trance.

Still my mind chimed in with all kinds of comments and advice: "Don't think about the bum gif...", (which means I thought about the bum gif)..., "Okay, don't focus on the base chakra but move onward." (which means I focused on the base chakra BUT I did move on and got my abdomen chakra to thud as well as the solar plexus and heart - didn't go further). I did a bit of energy work as when one wants to experience OBE it's helpful to prime your energy body for OBEs. Basically, I'm just preparing for whatever comes or doesn't.

Nothing special in meditation other than feeling heavy, getting some reaction to my energy work, and trying to focus on the blackness behind my eyes. (Energy work: envisioned white pool of energy beneath my feet, then I draw up the energy from the pool through my feet and eventually circulate the energy. It makes my feet and body warm and buzzy...no not that kind of buzzy.)

Tonight, I will write in my journal an affirmation and leave the real life DJ on my beside table. Sooner or later, I will recall a dream and I want to be READY!

April 12, 2012
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Wrote affirmation in my dream journal: I am open to exploring new worlds and remember my dreams upon waking.

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Fragment: Something about MASH the TV show. I remembered it after I'd already woken up this morning and fallen back to sleep only then to realize I needed to get up immediately. So, I sort of forced myself awake. Nonetheless I still only recalled the 'theme'.

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Side Note: I began perusing through my old Astral Dynamics book and noticed a section on activating the chakras. Apparently, it is very common to have the Heart center go all spastic right before exiting the body. The last time I consistently meditated (year or more ago) I was doing energy work and activating/opening my chakras. My heart center had become so strong that I thought something was wrong. I even stopped my meditation and checked my pulse only to find it was not elevated. (which is what the book said would occur) It seems that if one can ignore this pounding and let go the next thing to occur is an OBE. I, obviously, was not able to let go. Bruce said it was very hard to ignore and the man was certainly right. Only mention this because I think that is what's occurring during my most recent meditation but in the base or abdomen chakra - which causes one to focus on sexual energy and distracts you. You're supposed to also ignore it and move on to the next center. Being completely out of practice, I focused on it and whammo - orgasm.