JonBingus

my alarm was too sweet

Although it truly began elsewhere, this dream really picked up when me father took pity on the misgivings of the earlier dream, which was very boring. He sent me on a vacation, to go find myself. I was on the plane with him, and when I looked out the window I saw I was in Bucharest. It was the absolute perfect sunny day, with green grass and tall orange buildings extending as far as the eye could see. The architecture reminded me of Hieronymus Bosch's painting "The Garden of Earthly Delights." I told my dad I'd spend the entire week here wandering alone, finding trouble and beautiful girls wherever I went. He approved.

Right before I landed, my dad left and I found Chris on the flight. He was also here for a solo vacation, though his flight was connecting and he would continue on to New Zealand. We shared how we had very similar sentiments about the nature of our trip, and that he had even been here before a year ago. The flight landed and I headed off to the largest, most grand building in the whole country. It was a temple, parliament building, community center and hotel. The building was like one massive pancake, with 4 tiers, each one serving one of those functions. The hotel was the second highest tier below parliament.

As I entered the building I saw a guru on a balcony drop acid. I knew this was the place to be. I was going to go to my room and then find that guru.

I did.

Upon a rooftop terrace of the grand building, I found the wizards, the gurus, a small group of sages who were all in the beginning of a long stage of imbibing psychedelics. I looked down in my hand and found a zip lock bag full of about 25 truffles. I ate two, and they kicked in immediately. I felt amazing. We decided to go explore the city and find some things to do.

There was only one catch. As I was walking to the elevators I checked my live 3D map to see where the border to Georgia was. In this reality, the black sea had been reduced to more of a blue lake, and I could see the nation from the coastal perch of the grand building. Even stranger, that lake was within Georgia's borders. And the shores which we were on. And the fields between us. In fact, the border was 20 feet away from me, right next to the edge of the building, across a tiny creek. I had to go jump over it. We ran to the creek and found a pretty bridge of stepping stones leading over it. Guarding the stones were 3 snapper fish, which had the heads and jaws of snapping turtles. They moved slowly but I could anticipate their bite. I crossed the stream but then turned to observe these creatures. Out of the muddy bottom, a full snapping turtle emerged and began intruding on their space. I watched an argument unfold between them about this infringement, and watched them try to bite his armored fingers off, to no success. I probably should have become lucid here, but I was far too entranced with these speaking predators.

On the other side of the creek were long, beautiful fields. I was watching the grass sway when a sniper bullet grazed past my forehead. Looking far down the creek I could see a huntress in futuristic armor with a laser rifle at the shoulder. She took another shot, this time at a comrade of mine. The battle began. A flurry of pursuit, evasion, running and gunning unfolded and eventually we shot her down. Realizing that this place would be crawling with enemies, we took to the building for sanctuary. Bad call. We dropped down a tier and entered a room, but found more enemies in a room filled with grass and rocks. Luckily they were pitifully low leveled. We removed them in seconds and looked around. This room was filled with grass like outside and seemingly lead further inside the building where the enemies would level up more, presumably.

Still tripping on acid, I decided to go back outside of the room, jump off the balcony and enter through the tier below us, while the gurus headed further in the easy room. I ran outside, jumped, and landed on a black patio. This was different and I could feel it. I opened the door and entered an identical room to the last, but instead of the grass, it was just pure black ebony with purple stones inlaid. Inside were three girls. All of them sultry, tan and wearing tight black. They smiled at me, and I had a feeling I was the first to come here in a very, very long time. I looked harder at them and saw their level: 8888. The sniper had been 14. This was the last floor, the first room leading up to what certainly contained the most powerful beast in Bucharest.

The girls did not move to attack but instead waltzed around the room, so I began a conversation. In the center of the room was a booth, like what the hostesses in a night club in hades would stand behind. I walked to it and stood against it, and the closest of the demonesses approached me. I knew there was no escape without killing them. I had come here to experience life, and so I would. As the demoness approached, I began to perceive her true nature. Each of them contained the power of a small sun inside them. Though perfectly human on the outside, their eyes had a certain spark that would dance like a flame, and their skin radiated beautiful energy that my acid-tuned senses were picking up on. It was incredibly intoxicating. This would be an OK way to die. She came closer, the heat of her beginning to warm me, passing right through my skin and into my belly, like hot cocoa.

I reached out and grabbed her waist. Wow. The flow was not instant but built quickly like the drop on a rollercoaster, blowing me away and making my head spin more with every millisecond. I pulled her tight and looked deep into her eyes. I had joined her energy, completing the circuit, and the moment we let go I would be completely destroyed. There was nothing left to do. So I kissed her, as any sane, balls-tripping adventurer would do.

The unity I experienced in this moment was so powerful I can still feel it. The other two froze, struck by the moment. This was the first time this had ever happened, not to them, not to others, but simply anything of this nature in the continuum, and the new precedent was already rippling its way outward, changing little bits of the fabric of time here and there in light of this new information. This new possibility.

We kissed and kissed and our bodies melded and she cried, a creation of a god given humanity, bound to destroy the giver. I felt her energies flow through me stronger and stronger, but slowly I came to understand them. I was a vessel too. And as more of her poured into me, I cried too, and I accepted it. The inevitability. Curiosity. What came next?

And suddenly, we were equal. The massive distance that separated us moments ago was gone, and as she rested her perfect skin against mine, I slipped back. And I was fine. She looked up at me, frozen in that moment after your last tear dries up, and before you smile.

I walked out.

Chris and I are in a truck. We're driving up north to a cottage, and we're talking about how he used to come up here as a kid. Loose wooded patches pass us by through the windows, and the grey light outside doesn't reveal any animals of sorts.

"When I was a kid, I had a dirt bike up here. That thing was fast, you cloud rip it anywhere up here pretty fast."

We got to his place, and left pretty quickly, with our little brothers in tow. We first went to a pavilion. Under it's roof was a small model of the surrounding woods. It had the mountains, rivers, and full typography modeled out in clay and paint. I picked up some pieces and saw that they were live, that they would expand naturally as I explored the place. Good, a map. We went for a walk down a forest path and came across an old barn. There were deep muddy trenches around it on either side, carved by trucks and heavy rain. More reason why the sky was so grey, thank god it was dry so far. I was looking at the barn, thinking about how pointless it would be to walk around just to soak myself in mud, when I saw something out the corner of my eye. Chris is standing with a cheeky grin, and next to him is a little pocket bike, like the ones for little kids. It has a little motor and wheels the size of canteloups. I hop on and kickstart the thing, and immediately it reveals to me that it has more power than it looks. The boys must have done some work on her in their childhood. I look around for some possible places to ride, but most areas are full of muddy water. There's back where we came from, or a path that strangely has snow cover. I choose snow, more adventure.

"Try it out, see if it still works."

It did. I was ripping off through the woods as fast as you could say 'wear a helmet'. I didn't need one, this was a land of childhood innocence and the forest would protect me. Down the path I went, through snow and patches of frozen ground. Soon I came upon a large circular depression carved into the snow, maybe 6 feet down and 50 feet in diameter, with a few expertly crafted snowmen spaced around the clearing seemingly at random. Aa staircase of snow at one edge lead to a deep uinderground network of snow carved tunnelsl; or so I assumed.

"Hey"

A man walked out from behind a particularly large snow man.

"You come to build?"

No I hadn't. So there were people here, strange. I had thought Chris' family owned all the land. And he roamed freely here as a child, strange. I noticed the guy was carving a perfect snail, with small delicate flowers growing from its shell, entirely from snow. I recognized this snail, and I knew that I must have seen the man before.

"I know you."

"Probably. Been coming here for years. Join in if you'd like."

What a weird dude. I nodded goodbye and headed off on the bike, bringing that little hopped-up motor to life and aiming her force back at the pavilion. I arrived to find Chris talking to my mom. They greeted me and showed me the map. More had been filled in! Strangely, some portion of it seemed off.. There was a mountain nearby that was covered in strange mud or rot that was obscuring the detail of the clay typography before. I wiped most of it off with my hand and then placed that section back on the map, not really any clearer on why it was like that. I resolved never to go near there. Chris said I could keep using ol' betsy, so I just immediately turned it around and went back toward the snow. When I saw the depression again I went clear around it and saw a rocky path going up a hill back into normal, non permafrost woods. Going up the hill I realized that the bike didn't have as much power as I'd hoped. It was a bit of a struggle to get up, but when I reached the top I saw something pretty iincredible. Beyond me the path continued down into a valley, and at the bottom was the ruins of a pretty massive pioneer era building. I ripped down the hill toward the place, but the closer I got the more of it was complete. It wasn't being built by magic, it was just the draw distance of my dream had not allowed those sections to load visually. By the time I got there I could hear people inside. I put the kickstand up and went in. I was not prepared for the inside.

I am surrounded by naked women. Some of them are insanely beautiful, some more average looking, but none who wouldn't turn a head on the sidewalk. I walk through the house, seemingly ignored by the occupants. I think they're part of the building, and I am the only guest. None of them engage me or pay me much mind, they just continue on with seemingly scripted movements and conversations. Two of them in another room begin to kiss. I walk downstairs to the basement, it's warmly lit. Entering the first room on the right, I see a bed and sit down for a moment to collect my thoughts. Where the hell am I.

"Hey"

A soft voice, like a tired girlfriend welcoming me back home in the early hours of the morning. The smell of hot cocoa. I look up. It's Scarlett Johansson. Spread so effortlessly on a chaise longue, she smiled softly at me, her eyes locked on mine. Sitting next to her against the other wall was another actress, a beautiful girl who I surely recognized but could not place. I said nothing, just waiting to see what was to happen. It happened quickly, yet at a glacier's pace all the same. Scarlett rose up, slinking with the practiced elegance of a feline huntress. She turned to the girl with a smile.

"Wait here for me baby"

She was soundlessi in her approach. I find her arms around me, her mouth kissing mine. She pulled back and smiled again, holding my complete consciousness in palm. Her eyes telegraphed a message to me. There was more to come. The giddy fire of a child on christmas rose up inside me. She had presents. She held my hand and lead me up the stairs. We were giong somewhere, but I knew that every inch of this house was crawling with other women, and I wanted just her. This place must be designed to fulfill your wildest carnal dreams. I had a greater idea of where I was now.
I grabbed Scarlett, finding myself already naked, and slid in her. I will forever be amazed by the power of this sensation when dreaming. The element of reality is missing, and it cannot be compared to the real thing in all of it's delicacy and presence, but that does not detract from the raw bliss.

I am at the top of an old wooden staircase, slamming one of the world's most beautiful women from behind. And somehow, I remember to pull out. I guess all of my practice in the real world has trained my subconscious for this moment in a deep way. She smiles at me, and then walks away, continuing on her scripted path through the halls. This place must have a lot of money, because she is the real thing, no android or lookalike, and this is what she does. I walk through the house and see more and more famous women, and a few patrons who have entered since I did. I leave, and go up the hill. I find a place crowded with people and carnival games. This entire woods must be one spread out retreat. I head back down to the shack to take it all in, and I see my dad and Paul M on a hill nearby looking down at it. My father is purchasing the pleasure cabin as his retirement investment. How he has so much money I have no idea. They leave to go celebrate the moment, and I speak to a man on the hill, which I now see is covered in hundreds of shirtless old men, like an old roman bath.

In the final moments of my dream, I look up and see the rain finally pouring, the grey sky giving in to its own weight. I open my mouth and feel the rain on my tongue, and then spit some out.

I wake up, and realize that I just spit a big gob of saliva onto my pillow. Gross.

What a strange one. It began at a clubhouse of sorts. I was hanging out with some friends of mine when Sophie Mccarthy showed up. We started talking and she guided me to her room in the house. We then had extremely vivid sex. One of the most present moments I've ever had without being lucid for sure.

The main part of the dream was much more strange. I was accompanying/guiding/controlling a team of super powered beings. They were kind of like overwatch, but they were people I knew. I realized after a while that some of them were honestly fighting crime while the head of the group, this girl called valkyrie, was simply using everyone for her own gain. When I came to realize it I left them to their own devices.

At the end of the dream, I was with a friend of mine outside. It was raining, and we were on a hill. For some strange reason, there were people on the street either shooting a movie or a youtube video because they were doing extreme horse acrobatics in the street. I'm not talking your average Olympic equestrian here either, this was some next level shit. This one extremely fat woman was riding the main horse, and man that thing was having a real tough time supporting her. It was wheezing heavily, and with the rain on the hill, it was struggling to keep its footing. Suddenly, she started backing the horse up the hill. She rode it backward up the hill, then turned right and went backward up a ramp! The ramp was a quarter pipe, so of course, it was completely vertical at the top. The magnificent beast made it 95% the way up there, almost getting on the platform before her massive frame caused his stature to snap, and he slammed into the ramp, sliding down it with tremendous speed and across the hill through traffic, impacting the curb on the other side of the road. He looked like a horse ragdoll. Why would you let such a fat lady ride a horse backward up a slope? Who would do this?

The horse lived, though. No way I would let that happen.

I have no idea how to explain this dream. It had no narrative sense to it and a few isolated parts that are extremely vivid. This first bit is hours and hours in but the rest has faded. I was in a large open place surrounded by extremely high ciffs. The place was run by a small devil who lived in the palm of a god sized hand. I took him on and destroyed his little body. Next he turned into a fat beurocrat and I had to destroy him by soaking him head to toe with a water gun. After that I basically played Halo 3 against my brother for 10 minutes except we were literally in the game and all I focused on was sticking him with plasma grenades.

Suddenly I was watching a set of trailers for a guy and a girl. I think I was supposed to deal with the girl but it was showing meher old lovers and protectors, mainly this adonis dude who was the most patient man on earth, had many world records and would kill me for her. I was seriously weirded out by them adn then woke up.

I watched a long war draw out between two ancient forces. The tactics were brilliant and borrowed from the romans, and when the smaller force came out on top I left for a new land. I found myself at the old farmhouse, and in the distance I could see a large commotion. Iron man was in the field fighting some monsters. I hear a voice say, "truly, Iron Man is weak". Suddenly I was a new character, a superhero that does not exist. He was like Iron man, with a less powerful suit but more skill. Think bat man, played by brad pitt. Suddenly I was this guy, and flew off in my suit directly at Iron man. I attached a small tracking device to him that scanned his eyes, and then cybernetic eye implants in my brad pitt body allowed me to gain access to his computer system, where I shut off the suit and he died in battle. I now reigned supreme. I woke up.

Later on I had another dream that was just so strange. I was stewie griffin, and I was in a world where cartoons and fictional weirdos had come together. There was a monster eating someone around every corner, and no matter what I did I could not figure out what was going on. Bright coloured fleshy balls were gyrating everywhere and my companions were powerless midget fairies.

It was my birthday in the dream. I had just moved to a new home, so I couldn't invite any of my old friends over. Sean and yair were the only people here, so they invited a bunch of people the knew.

Luckily it was all chicks.

The party was pretty cool, I had a lot of good chats with my old friends and there was a lot of eye candy. At one point I left my place and started flying around on a small sled or surfboard magic carpet style, but I couldnt get higher than a meter. Some dude saw me do it and I spent a long while trying to show him how but the snow was too deep and it messed up my technique.

Woke up too fast

Well! After years and years of training, and many nights of tiny lucid moments, I can confidently say that I have now had a pure, 100% conscious lucid moment.

I was on a golf course with chris, and we were sitting in a golf cart. We were about to start driving into the course when I noticed somethihng off about him. Suddenly, I was hit by lucidity. I got very excited, and was about to start ripping the golf cart, when I remembered how much I should just take a moment. I kept staring and chris and started taking long, deep breathes. I could feel the breath entering my lungs deeply. I could hear the birds and the wind of the golf course. And Chris' face began to morph in to some crazy version of his and mine combined, the veil of the dream no longer able to conceal how fucked he was. I turned forward and began to drive, taking in the moment, and quickyl lost my lucidity.

Although it was short lived, for a moment there my entire conscioussness was focused on "I am dreaming. This is a lucid dream." Meditating in your dreams is the way to go, and I will try to start every session like that from now on.

I have no idea what or why I was there, but I found myself with simon hanging off the side off a train. By that I mean I was tied to it witha rope and it was dragging me at 80 mph. I had to grab on a tree or fence and jump onto the train at full speed.

It was a great one. Damn memory

This was a strange one.

Lee and I were walking in the woods after checking out an insane fantasy view. We were walking back to the car when we passed a bro looking dude. I can't remember who said what or if we bumped into the guy or something, but suddenly he became very pissed at us. We giggled it off and got in this white pickup and started driving down a road in the woods.

About a minute later I look back, and the dude is following us. I tell lee and he gets kind of weirded out, but I decide to make it fun. "It's a race then". Lee floors it. I look back at the dude.

7 white pickup trucks are all ripping after us, full speed in the deep woods. We are fucking dead. Lee hauls ass and we start to panic. We pass a small sports court, next to it is a building with a basement. We both notice it. As we continue down the path we realize that we are heading directly into the den of the beast. There's a Mormon comune up ahead. Lee freaks out and starts to swerve. There is a massive building dead ahead and we skip to a stop.

"MEET ME IN THE BASEMENT! GOOD LUCK!"

I can't get my seatbelt off in time. The trucks close around in a shield wall and I am ripped from the vehicle. Kneeling on the ground, I close my eyes and raise my hands. In the long oment I await the gun barrel to my head. Instead, I feel a hand touch mine. Then another. And another. I am surrounded, my captors all touching me as they begin to recite a prayer. My fear deepens. They want to make me one of them.

I open my eyes and they hold a piece of scripture in front of me and ask me to read it. I read it at a level so indistinguishly quiet that they had to take my word that I said it at all. Then, the indoctrination began. They raised me to my feet and welcomed me to the commune. Immediately the most 'hip' guy closest to my age was assigned to take me around. He was clearly born here and had no idea about the outside world, which could be seen everywhere. He took me outside the building and we looked at the beautiful view of the surrounding forest and valley. I did not RC. I turned and looked, and two beautiful girls came outside. They were sent to seduce me, already in the last few minutes they had noticed that the guy would have little effect in my conversion. The girls were clever but totally brainwashed and used obvious tactics to get me on their side. I looked them all straight in the eyes but never did an RC.

After a little while I was given a bit of freedom of movement, and all the while I had not stopped thinking about what Lee had said. I knew he must have moved on from the basement by now, but if he wasn't brought back, there must be a solid method of escape there. There was an emergancy of some sort, and the men running the place were called to an auxilliary bulding. I was about to waltz off to the basement when they all emerged form a door. They were looking for me, when suddenly I realized, I can fly. Why the fuck am I here when I can fly. I ran past them and leapt in the air, flying up in a shitty spiral toward the stained glass roof of this massive commune building. The leader, who was the ballet teacher from Black Swan, saw me. He screamed and I doubled my efforts to fly. This is when I realized i was dreaming. The feeling was amazing, entering a clear first person perspective and knowing that this is the time for me to be conscious. There was no more play time, no more need to be a slave to this place. I started analyzing the rules of how I fly. I went up through the window, but the man began to scream at me. His voice and incantations created a vortex in this hole in the roof, sucking the glass in and pulling me down. I overpowered him and shot into the sky.

In the epilogue of the dream I lost my lucid state, but I met Lee and he explained to me how he escaped, by stealing a UPS truck

What a great one this was. I remember an extreme level of detail and it's Sunday morning so lets try to get it all in.

It began in a strange moment, as I found myself having just gotten off of a greyhound. Here we were, a great big group of people, some I knew but most I didn't, all moving into a giant, massive version of the T House together. It had the same basic layout, but each room was the size of the entire actual building and allowed everyone their own giant living space, not just a bedroom.

I started grabbing my bags from the bus and saw that there were a lot of beautiful girls getting off. If I was a perfect lucid dreamer I would have reality checked here, but instead, I gawked. I realized that they were famous, it was a group of girls and a guy that were a pop band. Suddenly it hit me that everyone here was famous. It was like the hotel in Youth.

As I was going in, one of the girls started talking to me and we had a really fun conversation, not really about anything just lots of witty banter and gauging what the other was like. I made strong eye contact throughout the conversation but did not reality check. My RCs have failed me so far.

I get in my room and unpack, then hop on the computer. I'm doing emails and stuff when I hear a noise outside. I look out the window and see a massive war between big piloted ships and mechs outside. The battle seems to be man vs alien, and a buddy of mine is heading the human effort. I run out there and he points me to a downed human craft. It is massive, with huge plasma cannons on the front but the cockpit is just open to the air and dead between the guns. All the ships are like this, they have only a single crew piloting them and that person is not protected by glass or anything. I fight in the ship, taking down some enemies before mine is destroyed. I immediately hop out and go at an alien, jumping past his guns and beating him up to take the cockpit. I fight once again.

The fight ends and they are driven off, and I return to my room. I am on the computer again when I hear a knock at my door. There's a group of women, some of the pop stars and some older women. They're looking for my friend the battalion commander and they have the wrong place. We make some jokes and then they head down the hall. I walk out and see that on the rooftop is another massive room, and the guy staying there is one of the richest and most important men on earth. I know he knows the commander so I go talk to him, hoping to make some connections. He talks to me for a bit but knows why I'm there and points out how young and inexperienced I am. I tell a joke and he laughs a bunch, then gets a phone call or something. I head out of his room and see the commanders. I go to talk to him but in there I see all the women on his bed with him. They're clothed just talking, and I chill for a short moment, before putting on a Kanye song on my phone for them. I swear to god the song doesn't exist but my mind just knows his voice, and created an amazing track that was somewhere between "real friends" and "heard them say". Such a relaxing tune.

The ladies started kissing the guy, and I was really weirded out being there so I leaped from the balcony and drifted down toward the dock. This is my favourite part of the dream.


The pier was gone, now there was just the tiny wood dock at the end of it, now attached to the bottom of the stairs. As I stood on the dock, looking out at the water, I became extremely present. This is a new habit of mine derived from meditation. If I find myself alone with a beautiful view I often take a deep breathe and drink it in. However, before my thoughts turned to reality checking, I became engrossed by the water. I slowly walked toward the edge of the dock, staring down. I leaped high in the air, and though to myself, "I always fuck up dives. Let's do a perfect dive right now." My body spun, head straight down. I plunged into the water. The moment I entered it I was once again horizontal, belly flopping without the pain. I slammed into the bottom of the lake. My eyes were closed, and the dream for a moment was nothing but the feeling of water, weightlessness, and the sandy lake bed.

I've always been sure that my dreams have to have visuals. This one single moment has undone that belief. It was the exact feeling I've had so many times up at summer camp, that moment right after you jump in, eyes closed and feel how different the universe has become in the split second.

I tried to swim up. I did my best, but I found myself unable to swim. was I drowning? maybe. who was I to know? I was thrashing calmly, floating up at a snail's pace. I could reach up and feel the surface but ascending the last foot seemed impossible. I just forgot about it and enjoyed the water. I found myself at the surface. Looking down, the water was only 4 feet deep, so I just put my feet down. At the bottom of the lake, in a beam of sun, was my brand new Beachman. It was resting perfectly, as if for a picture. I remembered that it was not waterproof, but this seemed to be a new version, with metal body and wood accents. I grabbed it from the floor and brought it in close, finding it to be damp inside. The word "Beachman" had mostly come off, and the letters were floating around in there. For some reason, I could see that the holes punched in the wood were originally made to put in a swastika and not letters. I was so furious, and began visualizing my conversation with Lucy about why the fuck this had been, and how we would need a new supplier.

When I looked up, the girl from the bus was there. She did not want to be in the commander's menagerie and had done it to make me jealous. She came to see me here, but suddenly there was a neighboring family in the water. We had to talk to them for a while, and when they left the sun was setting. She lay down on the dock and I was in the water. We talked and talked, and I started falling for this girl. The sunset on the lake was the perfect shades of red, orange. Casting what felt like the light of a warm fire on her face, catching her hair in the wind. Beautiful. The mind is a huge cheater, always knowing what you want. She looked exactly like that girl who kissed me in the bar.

I went to return to the T house with her, but when we got there everyone was leaving. The aliens were going to win the next battle, so we had to take an elevator to an interdimensional airport like in rick and Morty. There we would be able to escape to a new place with no enemies. There was an entrance to the terminal through an elevator in the house, so we all began going through. Suddenly Stu and Evan Ccole were here, and they said we had to defend the elevator from alien presence as they would try strange tactics to get past us.

At first, they were sending strange inanimate objects through in absurd quantities. The elevator doors would open, and 200 orange balloons with Shibes on them would roll out and slowly roll toward the security checkpoint and the people waiting in line. I think the aliens had only recently made contact with our homeworld here and had no idea what the meaning and pattern of our objects were, so they made huge sweeping guesses.

Evan cole and I had to stand in the hallway and smash every balloon. That came through. The next elevator was full of fake companion cubes. We smashed them as they came. Then, the tricks began. The aliens sent in real people they had captured, and mixed in were fake humans, poor imitations that were incapable of self-defence. The first ones were just full of gas and would pop when struck, but they became more solid with each wave. Eventually, they looked almost like us, but they were clearly never going to escape uncanny valley. They aliens had reached their peak of imitation. The fake ones were full of a fleshy pulp, lacking bones or organs and would fall easily as we smashed them with fists. I took a moment to catch my breath, and Kanye West himself was in line. I've had Drake appear before, but now it was the presence of this guy himself. I explained to Kanye what was happening. "come check this out man, it's worth seeing". He comes back down the line with me reluctantly, thinking I'm some crazy fan trying to convince him to something, but then I walk up to an old lady, at least 90 years old, and say "hello Delores!" grabbed her by the scruff of her collar and punched the shit out of her goddamn alien mouth. Her head exploded and the room erupted in laughter. So gruesome but so hilariously strange and righteous in its service to the human race.

I saw Kanye laughing and then I woke up.

Swear to god I spent half the dream giving advice to people. The first was an Iranian man. I was at a Delta hotel after coming up into the lobby from underneath. The manager of the place was this guy, who was a failed actor. We walked up to a scenic cliff and talked about what it means to act and how to become great, and I talked about deliberate practice. He then tried to seduce me, but a combat helicopter flew up from below the cliff in time for me to get away. I went back to where the hotel was, and outside I found hundreds of girls, all actors as well. They all wanted my advice. I didn't know what to say as I'm not an actor, but they were all trying to get my shirt off so I just kept making stuff up. Suddenly an attack fell on the city, a kryptonite nuke detonated 300 miles away on a mountaintop and superman had to fly head first directly into the blast. There was a long cinematic cutscene where the camera would just keep following him and cutting to different viewpoints of this epic sacrifice.

I will have a lucid dream tonight.

I did not. It was instead full of fantastical videogame worlds and a re-visistation of my highschool. Not the most unique by my standards.