non-lucid

Dream - Lucid

I was back in time, sometime in my past, though I was still the age I am now. I was at an elementary school. I feel like I was in a group in a classroom.

Then, I was outside the school on a sunny day with this girl of about 9 or 10. She was my friend, but I knew that she would soon just stop talking to me with no explanation as to why (this happened IWL a few years ago with a guy I had become good friends with). We were wearing two-piece bathing suits, or at least I was. I was peeing into the stream of water from this garden hose, and it was turning my pee rainbow. It smelled like piss. I feel like the pissing in the hose stream had something to do with why the girl would eventually stop talking to me.

~

I was with my old friend Bret. He had gotten me this really long, white pipe that had like 4 huge bowls on it that stuck out from the sides. I had it stored away somewhere. It was full of weed in each bowl, but the weed looked like salad with chopped up tomatoes or red bell peppers in it. I saw it in the hiding place we had for it in my apartment.

I was then somewhere else, not sure where though. I want to say I was at the grocery store. I was afraid Bret was going to go smoke all the weed and not save any for me. I had heard him talking about smoking out of that pipe to someone. I was upset, because I wanted to smoke all the weed. I remember saying something to him about it at some point. I was thinking to myself also that I did not have any weed other than the weed in the giant bowls in that pipe, and I didn't know where I could get more; I always hated trying to find weed. I was anxious to get back home to protect and smoke my weed.

I was walking up the stairs to my apartment at some point. It was during the daytime.

~

I was at my old job talking to my friend Kristin who still works there. I figured out she was no longer dating David, but was together with one of my exes, Austin. Interesting.

I then saw Kristin carrying a baby. I knew it was her and David's. It was a girl, barely older than a newborn; she was quite tiny, even for being a baby. Maybe she was a premature baby. I kept looking at her, trying to see if she looked mixed, since David is black and Kristin is white, but she just looked white to me. She was wearing a light blue headband with a bow on it. I saw her looking at Kristin, and she winked. I knew that both of her parents winked, so she probably picked it up from them. The wink looked very intentional, and did not match her baby face, however; it looked so adult-like. She then looked at me and winked. Again, it didn't fit the child's face. She then winked again, this time with her other eye, and then again with another eye around where her nose would usually be. That's when I noticed that she had three eyes.

I was then with Austin and Kristin inside somewhere. I feel like it had something to do with cars. They seemed happy. I remembered Kristin telling me how happy she had been with David, how she had told me once that she was "on cloud nine" (she did say this to me IWL). I wondered what had happened in the short amount of time I had been gone. Either Kristin or Austin then had to leave, I think Austin. I said something to someone else, Cherie' maybe, about Kristin and Austin fucking.
"Of course they've fucked," she said back to me.
I wondered how much she liked his big dick.

~

Tried to do some MILD mantras last night as I was falling asleep ("I will become lucid"). Fell asleep doing them. No dice. Up quite early today for work, earlier than usual. I am glad to see last night's dreams weren't totally uninteresting. Hoping for lucidity again soon. Maybe on a morning when I can sleep in a little. Just gotta keep trying.

Dream - Lucid

I was watching this girl from my old job, Chelsea, get swept away and killed in this river current that she was sent out into by someone, maybe our old boss, but I'm not positive. It was in a jungle-type setting. She was sent on some mission that was doomed from the beginning. I think a lot of people were sent on this same mission before, and no one came out alive. I feel like I was a passive observer in this dream.

~

I was in the neighborhood I grew up in. It was very small and fairly new, like when I moved into it in 1995. I remember saying something about how it was a new neighborhood. I ran down a street that ended because it hadn't been built up to where it is now yet (IWL the part that ended in the dream actually did not end even then when the neighborhood was new).

Then, I was waiting on my brother, Blake, and his fiance', Sarah, to get back from being out to eat. They were at a restaurant somewhere. I remember texting them. I was getting impatient, because whenever they finished eating, Dallas and I could go eat.

I guess they were finally done and heading home, because Dallas and I were then at a restaurant. The lights were off, however. I remember thinking that they were closed. Wherever we ended up going, we ended up there for a long time. I think my mom was getting worried about us. I remember being at the restaurant, and having this huge pan of dinner roll dough that was left over. We were going to take it home, but we had some loose extra roll dough as well. The pan was covered in ceran-wrap, and was quite full. I peeled back the wrap to stick some of the dough on the ends. I got one piece of the dough on there successfully, but it didn't look attached. I then said we needed to let the waitress do it.

Finally, we were heading home.

~

I was with Dallas at some store. My friend Leigh worked there. We were going to buy this huge rolling rack that resembled the ones we use at work to put multiple pans of baked good in the oven. We were checking out with her.

She then offered that we have some kind of internet service with them. The rack had something to do with the internet? And to have service with them, they would fill it up with these things that resembled white plastic or dough that would get a slit cut down the middle? Yeah, idk. Anyway, the offer was really good, so we agreed to it. They started to put the things on the rack.

Then, I thought about it a little. This company used to do that and let the wireless network be open free of charge, but now, I didn't think they did unless you paid a lot more. I asked about it, and Leigh said we would have to pay extra to open up the network. I pictured a screen of lots of different servers opened up to play a multiplayer game online. We would not have that unless we paid a lot of extra money. I wasn't too terribly upset about not being able to open servers, but Dallas was. He didn't want it like that, he wanted it all for the price they were offering. He was arguing it.

Dream - Lucid

I was inside some building at night. I don't know for sure what it was, but I was inside a bathroom in this building. Inside the bathroom was me, a police officer or some kind of law enforcement officer, and Doug Funny, who was the criminal. It was like he was trying to escape. He had a mean, angry look on his face, and had blood on his shirt. I remember the police saying something to him. They left me with him so I could detain him.

Instead of detaining him, I spoke with him calmly. I looked for the wounds that were causing him to bleed, and saw two areas that looked like a bunch of raised blisters, one of the back of his head, and one on his stomach, but the one on his stomach was just a bunch of nutshells. I brushed off the nutshells. I told him I would bandage up the back of his head. He asked me to wrap some gauze around it. I told him I would.
"Let me go look in the first aid kit," I said.

I looked for the first aid kit, and couldn't find it.

I then was in a room in the same building that had some long cafeteria tables in it. There were a few people at the tables eating, one being one of my managers from my old job, Laura. I think Doug Funny was also sitting there. I was worried that he would get in trouble for being there. I sat at a table that had someone else at it, but I sat alone. I was looking at my phone; I knew the sun would be up soon (I think this was bleeding in from having to be up early for work this morning). I remember talking to Laura at some point.

I then went looking for another bathroom, because I had to go. I found two bathrooms, and instead of being marked "Men's" and "Women's", they were marked "Physical" and "Spiritual". I knew it was referring to physical families and spiritual families, and it had something to do with the Muslim faith. I went inside the one that said spiritual. Inside, there were these huge, luxurious stalls. I went into one that was close to the back. No one else was in there, but I felt more comfortable there. I sat on the toilet, and an oriental woman came up to me and started setting up this station for a foot massage. I quickly told her
"No thank you, I don't need a foot massage!"
She promptly left. I didn't want a foot massage while I was pooping.

I remember having flesh-colored feces in a plastic Ziplock bag. I had to hold them in place while I tried to go to the bathroom? Didn't really understand this part too well.

Then, as I was leaving the bathroom, I ran into a young Middle Eastern couple, maybe in their 30's or so. The man started to speak with me about Muslim spiritual families, using all these terms that I did not understand. His wife then said
"Honey, she has no idea what you're talking about."

~

I know I had a dream before this one, but again, insomnia kicked my ass for half the night. Getting pretty fed up with this sleeplessness stuff. I guess I was spoiled for awhile and was getting plenty of sleep. Now, I just can't seem to catch more than a few hours. Bleh.

Dream - Lucid

I was on the computer in the living room of our apartment. It was nighttime and extremely dark in the room, save from the light of the computer. I was showing my husband a YouTube video that had a song playing in the background. The song had something to do with poverty (I was reading something about poverty before I went to bed). I had a feeling my husband was annoyed because I was making him watch the video. The screen on the computer then went black. I had a general feeling of unease. I clicked something and it came back up on a different screen. I then clicked the YouTube tab that the video was open in, but it went black again. Now, the room was even darker.

Then, I was sitting on the floor, and my husband on the couch. I was sitting right below him; I could see his legs. The feeling of unease was worse now. It was so dark...and something just didn't feel right. I could still sense the annoyance of my husband too. I was scared to look at his face, thinking the face of the devil would flash in front of my eyes instead of his. I climbed up onto the couch with him. I had my sleeping mask on now? I was "sensing" what he looked like without looking at him with my eyes. I could "see" his body, but when it got to his face, it was like I had heat vision, and it looked red. I couldn't see any details of his face. I then bravely took off my sleeping mask.
"Dallas?" I said. I slowly looked towards his face.

I did not see anything scary, but the feeling of unease came to a climax. I partially realized I was dreaming, and started to scream, trying to wake myself up. I then heard this terrible noise; the best way I can describe it is screeching, but that isn't accurate. It didn't sound like anything I've ever heard before. It was horrible and unearthly. I struggled trying to move my limbs as the dream faded to black; I wanted to wake the fuck up.

I then woke up and was wide awake for awhile. I was only asleep for about 15-20 minutes for this nightmare.

~

I was with this guy I "dated" when I was 11 years old (IWL he is gay now). I was with him, but I realized I couldn't be with him. So I had to break his heart, and he was very sad. He looked different too; he had blonde hair and a different looking face in the dream than in IWL, though I knew it was the same person.

~

I was playing a video game. It was like Mario 64 but with something else in it. I was trying to beat Bowser, but the fight was a multi-stage fight that if you died on the last stage of, you'd have to start over again. I had played this boss many times trying to beat it, but I kept dying. Then, I figured out something about the fireballs coming out of the lava around the platforms, and when I would do a certain move with them, Bowser would get hit twice. There were two bosses here as well, not just Bowser. I remember pausing the game at some point.

This dream was quite long, but the rest of the details evade me.

~

My husband and I were shopping at Kohl's. We had split up to pick some things out. A lady then was going through our things and adding up the prices, but not at the cash register. Dallas had gotten lots of things, like peach-colored women's nightgowns, men's and women's shorts, and men's pants. We were racking up a bill of $555 before we were done going through everything, so I had to lay down the law and decide what we needed and what we didn't need. We didn't need the nightgowns, nor did I need new shorts, but he definitely did, so we held onto those. He had also picked out some nice short-sleeved button-ups that didn't look like anything he'd actually wear, but he said he needed them. I kept some jeans too that he wanted, and asked if they were size 32. He said no, they were 36x30. I asked if they fit better, and he said yes, so much better.

I then saw that Dallas was dressed in one of the nightgowns. I was having trouble discerning whether or not the nightgown was supposed to be for a man or woman, though, looking back, it was obviously a woman's nightgown. He was being silly, making the nightgown sway at the bottom.

~

Yeah, another mostly sleepless night. I was dog-tired last night too; I stayed over at work to help out because there was a call out, and we were very busy. Also, the night before I didn't get much sleep, so I thought for sure I would tonight. Guess again. Ugh, body, you are not cooperating with my brain. I want to have more LDs! Can't do that if I can't sleep.

But I suppose I should be more patient about it. This happens to me from time to time, especially during times of stress. Things will calm down again soon, and I will have more LDs. Hopefully will be able to accomplish some of my goals as well, such as more dream sharing, and delving into past lives. Can't wait to tell you guys about these things when they happen!

Dream - Lucid

I was at my old apartment, and a younger guy was living there. He looked to be about 20 or so, and had long, very curly dirty blonde hair. He was talking about how small the beds were at the apartment, and I agreed with him, telling him that I had to sleep on a pull-out couch, and Courtney C. had to scoot two beds together. I also told him that I got my own room to sleep in, while she had to sleep elsewhere in the apartment, even though she had her own room.

I then remember having to work. It was supposed to be at where I'm currently working, but I was having to greet people as they were entering this bungee jump ride. It was kind of like a video game at this point; it makes me think of Animal Crossing. Some of the people looked like they were made in that art style. Anyway, to greet them, I had to "click"on them, and they would say "Thank you!" in a little voice. It took me awhile to figure out how to greet them. Being greeted made them happy, and gave me points.

I then went back to my old apartment to sleep. I had to get up again in 4 hours to go back to work and work another 4 hours doing something else. When I walked in, the curly guy was in the living room fixing something. I thought that he was lucky that he didn't have to work a split shift. I went and took my Ambien to go to sleep, and laid down in the bed.

Then, I woke up for work again. I couldn't remember what my task that night was. I was thinking customer service, but that didn't seem right. I got there, and then remembered: I needed to go to the hospital. It was my due date for my baby. So I went there, which it just so happened to be where work was, and went into this room that had a hospital exam table, a hospital bed, a TV that had the news turned on, and 3 or so other pregnant women sitting in it. It was a kind of holding area for pregnant women who may go into labor. My mom was there with me. Apparently, I wasn't actually due for another two weeks and was having signs of early labor, so they wanted to monitor me. If I showed signs of labor, they would have to do an emergency C-section.

Then, it was just me and the pregnant women in the room. I was wondering if it would be alright for them to give me pain medicine even though I'd already had an ambien 4 hours prior. I laid down on the bed and watched the TV a little bit. I also remember seeing my reflection in something at some point, and thinking to myself that I didn't look pregnant, and I hadn't looked it when I had my daughter a few years ago either. I wondered what happened to her; my mom had adopted her, but I hadn't heard about her in awhile. I figured my mom had adopted her out to another family. I thought to myself that I should remember what happened to my daughter.

Then, I started to feel something dripping down my leg. I looked and saw a bit of blood. I then had the urge to lay down on my back and start pushing; I felt a twinge in my belly urging me to do so. So I started to lay on my back, and thought to myself
I was so glad that she shared her pain pills with me.
It sounded like I was narrating what was happening to me. I'm not sure who gave me pain pills or when, I just know it was one of the expectant mothers in the room.
I then felt the pain pills; I felt woozy and high, but no pain. The nurses rushed in and said they were going to put me under for the C-section. I said something back, but I don't remember what. They said it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't remember. They put the mask to my face to put me out, and I breathed it in a few times. I was then out like a light.

The next thing I knew, I was waking up in the room again, but things had calmed down. I got up out of the bed, even though I knew I probably wasn't supposed to. I was careful not to exert myself too much since I had just had a C-section. I held the area on my tummy where the stitches were. The room was empty now; I was alone in it. I wanted to know where my baby was, if it was a boy or girl, if it was even alive...

The doctor eventually came in to talk to me. They said that the baby was alive, it was a boy, but they had to amputate one of his legs.
"Was the cord wrapped around it?" I asked, thinking for sure that was what it had to be.
"No, it was because of a birth factor," said the doctor.
He then explained birth factors to me, and they run on a sliding scale back and forth, and whatever the factor is on when the birth happens determines if the baby has anything wrong with them or not. My birth factor had been high, while a low one would have also been bad. It was ideally supposed to be in the middle.

The fact that my child had a severed leg made me remember all the dreams I've had about having to get a leg or foot amputated, or about seeing people with prosthetic limbs (IWL this actually is a very common dream theme for me, though it hasn't been lately until last night). I then wondered if it was the Ambien that I had taken all throughout my pregnancy that caused this.

Anyway, I was so glad that my baby was alive, despite the leg. I knew I would love him just the same, and raise him like he did not have a defect. I walked into the nursery to see him. He was in a chamber at the very end of the room that had caution tape taped around the inside of it. Below the chamber was a bucket with two severed legs in it, although my child had only had one amputated. They almost looked like baby doll legs. There was a little blood. I wondered if that was just the holding chamber for severed legs.

I then was back in the holding area, and my husband came in. He was excited that I had had the baby! He asked if it was a boy or girl, and I said boy. His face lit up, and he got really excited. I had never seen him so excited about anything! I then told him about the leg. It seemed to slightly temper his excitement, but he was, like me, just glad the baby was ok. I imagined holding the baby, and putting him on my shoulders to play with him. I wondered if it would be different to do so because he had one leg.

I was then shopping with my mom at Kohl's for some baby supplies. I knew I needed bottles, so I went and found a package of three colored bottles that had Disney character head cut-outs at the nipple. I saw Mickey and Donald, but noticed that the third bottle was missing. I then picked up the package, and noticed that the Donald bottle had water in it. I told my mom that I had wanted to get those, but not if they had been used and were missing a bottle. I didn't see any more, either; it appeared to be the last one.

Wow, this dream was so vivid. Again, barely any sleep, but when I did sleep, holy crap. Definitely a memorable dream.

Dream - Lucid


I was in a school, a college. I was trying to pick out a class to get me to 18 credit hours to complete my major. I was filling out a paper, but it was like the paper was also a computer. I needed to choose one of these medical classes that I really was interested in taking, and the course numbers were 96, 98, and 99. I saw one, and then it disappeared. I could not find them anymore on the paper; they had already filled up. The only course numbers I was seeing were numbers in the 60's and I remember seeing 89. Those were not courses I wanted to take, however. I was frustrated. I wouldn't be able to take them until they were offered again the next fall.

I was trying to fill in the credit hours so I could stay a full-time student, so I signed up for a music class with my husband. I sat down in this single arch of chairs in front of the conductor's podium. It wasn't in a classroom; it seemed to be open to the whole building. In fact, the whole building seemed to be set up this way. At any rate, I noticed the band was all reed instruments, which was fine, because I play the bass clarinet. I remember seeing people with saxophones and bassoons. It was also a very small band. I sat down somewhere towards the right on the arch. The band instructor stepped up to the podium. She was a shorter black woman with lighter skin with reddish hair. It was actually difficult to tell if she was black or white. She seemed like a hardass; she never cracked a smile as she addressed the class. I was nervous too; this seemed like a class full of musical experts, and I had not played my bass clarinet in years. She wanted us to get right down to playing, and singled me out, since I seemed to be the only bass clarinet, telling me to play. I told her I could not play that day because I didn't have a reed, but I would get one for the next time. She said
"Get out of my classroom."
I guess she really didn't like that I wasn't prepared for class. I got up and left, angry and a little embarrassed. I wasn't going to come back either.

I talked to my husband later in the dream about the class, about the instructor. I remember also seeing the small reed band practicing as the instructor instructed them.

~

I was working at Target, setting up some summer set in one of the departments. I was a new employee there. I think it was the accessories department. I was unloading boxes and putting things on the shelves. I felt like there wasn't much rhyme or reason to it, but they had not given me any. I kind of had the freedom to put them where I saw fit. I can't recall exactly what items I was putting out.

I then had to go take some empty totes to the back, and had to ask someone where the back was and what to do with the empty plastic totes. I had the empty totes on a cart, and rolled the cart behind me as I followed the person to the back room. It was a large back room; I remember seeing a dumpster, and someone throwing boxes into it. I don't remember what this person told me to do with the totes, but she was pointing out where things were back there.

I was then back out on the floor in the accessories department. I had to go find something for the display that I didn't have on me. I went walking around, searching for these items. I encountered a room that had flowers floating in tubs of ice water. They were pretty white flowers, and looked healthy. I knew they were in the ice water because it was so hot and the water needed to stay cold for the flowers.

The dream then shifted as I was searching, an absolutely seamless dream shift. I was walking around, looking for something, a job that I enjoyed. I was transitioning into these random areas, one I remember being a movie theater. I remember then seeing a girl sitting on what appeared to be my parents' bed in the house I grew up in. She was blonde, but her head was shaved. She looked quite androgynous, almost like a girl I knew at my old job IWL, though the girl at my old job had red shaved hair. I got this jealous feeling about her.

I then encountered Jake. We were then looking around together for something we enjoyed doing. We then walked onto a beach. It was a sunny day. We went out into the ocean, which was so calm that there were no waves at all, and noticed these men swimming in this formation around some kind of float in a deeper part. Their formation was perfect; think synchronized swimming. Looking closer at the men, I noticed that they were all super buff and muscular. We asked what they were doing, and they said they were some kind of coast guard or beach guard, though those weren't the words they used; I can't remember exactly what they said. But Jake joined in with them; he really wanted to be a part of it. They seemed like they were glad to have him, even though he was not buff and muscular; they were very accepting and happy. I noticed the androgynous girl was with him too. I knew they were good friends, maybe even lovers. That is why I got the jealous feeling about her when I saw her.

I did not want to participate, and started to swim back to shore. I watched them swimming with the men, and noticed that they were not perfectly in sync with them, but it would, of course, take practice to get as good as they were.

I then started to walk somewhere else. I was on a paved walkway that was shaded by trees. Looking back on it now, it was kind of like in the area that the Renaissance Fair is in every year here. There were many people about.

I then noticed a very fluffy cat; her fur was a creamy, very light tan color, almost with a pinkish hue to it. She looked scraggly and dirty. I noticed she had clumps in her fur too. Poor baby! She was a stray! A couple of people said something about her, and I said
"Well if she isn't anyone's, I'm going to take her in!"
I didn't think twice about it; the kitty needed a home, and I was going to take her. I named her immediately, calling her Annabel Lee after the poem by Edgar Allen Poe. I pet her scraggly fur after that at some point.

I remember her being in a warehouse-type area with me after that.

Dream - Lucid


I was with my husband at what was supposed to be the house he grew up in. The house was small with wooden floors. His family was there; we were visiting them for the holidays.

I was in his room with him, and I saw this HUGE black and white spider sitting on the air vent on the floor. So unsettling...I hate spiders so much. I don't think I said anything about it to my husband, but I was super freaked.

Then, there was this other giant spider, but this one was red and black. It was chasing my foot wherever I moved it. I was panicking. It opened its mouth and hissed at me. I somehow deduced that this spider was poisonous because of this. I moved further away from it. There was another giant spider there at this point as well.

I then was laying in my husband's childhood bed with him. It was nighttime, and quite dark in the room. I was laying there with my eyes opened because I couldn't sleep due to the damn spiders. I made up my mind that I couldn't be laying in that bed with all the spiders lurking about. I told him that.

There was more to this dream, but I cannot remember.

~

I was going to spend the holidays with mine and my husband's family, though not all at the same time. We would be with my family one day, like on Christmas Eve, and his on Christmas Day. I remember being in the kitchen at the house I grew up in and reading a text or a note on paper about this. It was from my mother-in-law.

Then, my friend Cherie' said her dad (never met him IWL) said my husband better see him for the holidays. I was concerned that he wouldn't make it to my family's in time if he did that.

The next thing I remember is being in our apartment. We were in the living room, and Cherie's dad, who, in my dream, was a short, fat man, maybe Cherie', and my friend Ashley's brother's wife came in. Ashley's brother may have been there as well.

Some of them sat down on our couch. Cherie's dad and Cherie' started to play fight. One had been on the couch, and the other on the floor.

Then, I was designing some tube-like roller-coaster ride with Courtney S. It was indoors, and would take you in a flume in the water through this small opening. It looked as if adults could not ride because the opening was so short. Then, you would ride in this rainbow tube really fast; you would ride what you designed. It was kind of like CyberSpace Mountain at Disney Quest in Downtown Disney.

I designed one for Courtney and I to ride. I remember putting in lots of drops and sharp turns and a couple of loops at the end. We went to go ride it. We were sitting in the flume, and Courtney was sitting in front of me. She was wearing a white shirt. I was surprised she fit through the short opening, because she is very tall. Before we could enter the tube, I fell out of the flume into the water. I somehow got back in, but I'm not sure how. The ride was very fun and wild, though I think I only got to ride the last part of it since I had fallen out before.

Then, Courtney designed a ride. For some reason, I couldn't be there. I'm not sure where I was, but I saw this flash of a long poem. Courtney had written it. It was about how much she loved me (not in a romantic way, but in an unconditional way). Though I didn't get a chance to really read the words, I intuitively knew that that's what it was. Cherie' then told me that the ride Courtney had designed was an expression of her love for me. I knew inside that she was not upset that I wasn't there for the ride. She understood.

~

I don't remember where I was, but it was very realistic. Something seemed weird, though I can't remember what it was exactly, so I did a finger count RC. I looked down at my left hand, and could immediately tell I had too many fingers. I counted just to make sure, and got six.

Holy crap! I'm dreaming! I honestly didn't expect the RC to work; I thought it was real life!

I remembered my goals quite clearly, and really wanted to try to dream share again, but I did not feel that I was in a deep enough sleep to do it (will explain more about this at the end). Instead, I approached some DCs and asked them some questions, and of course, had to tell them that we were in a lucid dream.

Then, something about my wedding photographer, Rachel. She was coaching me with something, though she wasn't supposed to be. I can't remember what it was though! I was in a room with her.

I woke up and went back to sleep.

I was still lucid, and Rachel had gotten moved to another location. I found her. More coaching. I remember flying or floating at some point. I thought about it too hard at first and it failed, then remembered I could just think about it and it would be so. And so I just thought about it without focusing too hard, and I floated up.

Woke up, went back to sleep. I would say I was semi-lucid for the rest of the dream.

They had again moved Rachel, but this time, I had to get caught with her the first time I went in. It was very video game-esque. I had to go into this temple, or pyramid. It reminded me of Ancient Egypt. There was water flowing in the opening I entered, and light was then coming through a small opening where the water was falling into the pyramid. I knew that was where Rachel was, but she was with someone else, someone who did not want me there. I do not even think that this someone was human. What I had to do was go through the opening, get caught and thrown out, and then have to find a new way in because the original way would get blocked off. The lights would also be out; I would have to do it in darkness.

I then was having to load up these dirty dishes onto this conveyor belt that took them up into an incinerator. I'm pretty sure I was naked? Anyway, I would have to run up some stairs to grab all the dishes that were empty or unused, and take them off the belt and put them somewhere else to be recycled. I was explaining this process to someone. I then loaded the dishes on the belt, checking first to see if they were empty so I could remember which ones were and weren't when I got up the stairs. I loaded a bunch, then raced up the stairs. The belt was moving too fast for me to save every dish, and I could not focus on seeing which ones were dirty and which ones weren't. I pushed a button to bring the last dish put into the incinerator back out. I put that one aside for recycling.

Then, when I woke up again, I stayed awake. I felt rested, so did not try to push any more sleep; when I do this, I wake up with a headache, especially after lucidity.

~

Coming back to what I mentioned earlier about dream sharing and deep sleep: I have found that when I wake up in the morning after a pretty decent amount of sleep during the night, I am more likely to become lucid from being awake for a little while; it stimulates my brain, and I am able to become lucid much more easily. However, there is a catch: I cannot hold the dream for as long as I would be able to if the dream occurred during the sleep I get at night when I am the most exhausted. When I become lucid during the night, I have much longer lucids and can perform more tasks, such as dream sharing, for example, though I have only dream shared a handful of times. At any rate, the dream quality is better, and I am less likely to wake prematurely. When I attempt things like this during the morning after I have already gotten plenty of sleep, it fails or I wake up. Usually both. So I decided not to attempt it this morning, because I knew I would wake up, and, of course, my morning lucidity was peppered with awakenings. It happens a lot for me in the mornings, but, like I said, this does not usually occur during the night, though I am less likely to become lucid during my nighttime dreams. I am hoping that I can find a way to improve this. I may try the WBTB method during the night, but when I wake up during the night, many times I have difficulty going back to sleep. If anyone has any advice, let me know.

Dream - Lucid

I was at the house I grew up in, in my parents' room. I was there with my bridesmaids, though none of them were actually the ones I had IWL. I remember one girl, Kristin, who was in my friend Rachel's wedding IWL, and I believe my high school friend Grace was in there too. The rest I don't remember, or I didn't actually know them IWL.

Anyway, they were still wearing their bridesmaids dresses, which also differed from the IWL dresses. They were long and white, with a touch of baby blue in the middle. They looked kind of old-fashioned. They had been wearing them since the wedding, which, in the dream, was a few days prior. I was still wearing my dress too. We were finally changing out of our wedding clothes.

Then, we were at the beach, swimming in the ocean. There were other people swimming as well, one in particular I remember being an older man. He was talking to us, though I can't remember what it was he was talking about. Something about swimming in the ocean.

I wanted to swim to shore, because I was afraid of sharks. We all started to swim to shore, which wasn't very far off. The water was extremely clear. I saw many animals swimming around that looked like sharks, but they didn't pay us any mind. Closer to shore, I saw one very close to me, but discovered that it was a dolphin, not a shark, so there was no reason for me to be afraid.

We made it to shore finally, and I was wanting to get everyone's attention to tell them something about my cat. They were all ahead of me. We were on the sand, walking away from the ocean. Someone mentioned that there were crabs buried in the sand that would pinch you if you dug down. I then saw crab claws sticking out of the sand in places I was sticking my hands into the sand. I would stick my hand in more places, and feel the hard shells on the crabs, and pull my hand out before I got pinched. I was sticking my hands in the sand so I could try to more easily get up to where everyone else was. It was a small incline that, in reality, would really only take me stepping up, but I was trying to climb.

I finally somehow got up to where they all were, and started trying to get everyone's attention. It was failing at first, but an older man, the same from the ocean I think, helped me. Everyone quieted down. Finally, I could speak. I feel as if I was standing on something so everyone could see me and my voice would project. I began.
"I know all of you think that my cat is mean, but it's only because you pick on her and try to pet her. She doesn't like you. She only likes me. She isn't mean, she's just unfriendly."

~

Something about David, one of my old supervisors from my previous job. I remember being by the cash registers.

Then, I was at my current job, though instead of the bakery, I was working in the deli. I was walking out on the floor, when a man, a middle-aged Asian man, picked up a bag of pepperoni that was on display on a table in the department. He asked me if it was included in the sale. I looked at the sign before I asked someone, and the sign said you could mix and match brands, and included a list of brands. The brand of pepperoni, which started with an A, was included, and I told him. He put it in his shopping cart and told me thank you.

There was then an employee, a girl, behind the counter, I actually think it was my friend Cherie', talking about some creme cake she had. The cake had white and light blue icing, and wasn't very big. It was a small rectangular shaped cake. It was supposed to be some fancy cake through some company she was using her mom's account for. She was really excited about it, so much so, in fact, that I was worried about her not doing her job. The cake was supposedly absolutely delicious.

I then saw the remainders of the cake in a bread pan; there was about 1/4 of it left. The frosting was melted, but it still tasted good. It was just too sweet to eat any more of.

I remember something else about this weird premium account that Cherie's mom had. I remember trying to do something with it, but was locked out of the premium things.

Then, I was texting my mom, and she was asking me if a 12 o'clock noon flight would be good for my husband and I to fly out on to go to the beach. Without thinking, I said "Yeah!!!". I wanted to go to the beach, and my mom was offering us a vacation!

Then, I thought about it a little. He would not be ready by noon, because of his job. Besides, I couldn't get time off with such little notice. I was trying to figure out how to make it work; maybe we could drive instead of fly so we could leave whenever. Still wouldn't work, not with the short notice to our jobs.

I talked to my husband about it a little bit. I think we were texting about it, either that, or he had gotten off work and were talking about it.

Then, our family friend and the one who officiated our marriage, Jamie, texted us to tell us she was leaving for the beach. We were then walking into an apartment, not sure if it was ours or was supposed to be where my parents lived, and the lights were off. I also remember it was evening, and the sun was setting. My mom was sitting on the couch wearing a white button-up tank top, some subtle white and blue pinstripe capris, sandals, and I believe a light white scarf. She was also getting ready to go to the beach. She was going to drive there alone. I was talking to her.

Then, my alarm went off.

~

Another night of barely any sleep for whatever reason. I was tired enough, but just couldn't get to sleep. So frustrating, because I've been so tired. Oh well, maybe tonight will be different. Fingers crossed.

Dream - Lucid

I was working at the coffee shop again, but it was much different. The only thing that was the same was that I had the same boss. It was sometime early in the morning.

I had to fill in this tray with whatever the side item of the day was. There were things on it like potato salad, deli mustard salad (wut), etc. I had to make it so people who wanted to take some could scoop it out of the tray. There was a sheet that said which day got which side. There was another sheet that was laminated that had a description of the meal of the day. The place where the side went was blank, and was meant to be written in Expo marker each day, then erased at the end of the day so the new side could be written in the next day.

I went to go look at which side item was the side of the day, and it was deli mustard salad, but mustard was spelled weird, like "mustrd". I used a small ice cream scoop to scoop the portions out onto the tray. It looked like chicken salad. I scooped the mustard salad out into a line on the tray. The first scoops I did were kind of small, so I made the last ones bigger. I could only fit about ten scoops on the tray. I didn't feel like that was enough, and some of the scoops started to blob into one another. I imagined people taking the scoops of mustard salad.

Then, something about being in the shower at the house I grew up in with this girl I met at my old job named Brittani. I was naked, but she had underwear on.

~

I was at a local go-kart/fun park. I was inside the building, wanting to get a drink. I looked in a drink cooler, and saw "Diet Mountain Dew Sprite". The bottle was green, like a Sprite bottle. I also saw a regular Sprite, which I picked up to get, but changed my mind and put it back. Ok, the Diet Mountain Dew Sprite sounds good (in IWL, I rarely drink sodas. I never go out of my way to buy them). I took a bottle and went to check out. There was a teenage girl at the check out. I had to either get something else or go look in the cooler, but I put the drink down at the counter and then come back. My drink was gone when I got back, and I couldn't find it. I looked all over the counter. I then saw it had been placed under the counter and opened by the check out girl. I said something to her about it. I don't remember her response. I went to go get a new one. I remember drinking some. It tasted like Sprite. I had really been craving it. I had the taste in my mouth throughout this dream.

I don't remember what happened next, but the next thing I do remember is walking out in the parking lot, searching for my car. It was nighttime. I could not find it for the life of me. I went back inside, and stopped at the cooler to get another Diet Mountain Dew Sprite. I noticed on the tags in the cooler that they were buy one get one free. But I also noticed that they were all gone. The employees had them behind the counter, saving them for some sort of party they were having later. I saw that they all were labeled with names for the employees. I felt that this wasn't very good for their customers, especially since I also noticed that they had done that with many other drinks in the cooler. I thought to myself that I probably didn't need the drink anyway.

I ran into Jake at some point later. He worked there, apparently. I told him I couldn't find my car. I remember getting in his car with him, though his was different from the one I remember. It was a used white car, but nicer than his old used red car. He drove me to a different parking lot, and I found it again.

Except for I didn't really find it again. I zoned out or fell asleep or something, and it was, once again, gone. I went back in and found my husband's band's drummer, or someone who looked very similar. I remember being in a car with him also, but I remember him cradling me in his arms, or me sitting in his lap. This time, we went to a different parking lot from the last two. I don't remember if we found it this time or not. I had another zone-out moment in his car for awhile.

I went back in, and there was an older lady behind the counter with permed, curly brown hair. She was also kind of short. I knew she was the manager. They were shutting down early for this meeting/party, and I "remembered" that they did that often. I think I said something to her about them hoarding the drinks for themselves. I don't remember what she said, or if she even addressed my concern.

Jake was in there again somewhere. I don't remember much about that part.

I was given this tiny red kickball that had monkey arms, legs, and a tail. It was alive. Its purpose was to help me find my car. I described my car to it. I remember it bouncing from car to car, and speaking to me as it did so. It found a car that looked exactly like mine, but it said that the license plate's first three numbers were off. I looked at the license plate, and it said "PPPPPPP". Yup, not my car.

The monkeyball was explaining something to me as we walked through the parking lot. It seemed like dusk now instead of nighttime.

I was then woken up by my husband's alarm.

~

I know I dreamed of a couple of other things, one before the first dream and one after the last, but I can't remember them right now.

Dream - Lucid

My grandpa was still alive, but he knew he didn't have much time left. I was with him, my mom, and my aunt Marge, though I feel as if there were more people there too. They were all very sad about him dying, but he was at peace with it, and was trying to make the most of his last moments.

I was then somewhere else, though the situation had not changed. I opened a door, and saw my grandpa sitting in a chair at the head of a table. His hair appeared different than it ever was IWL, with streaks of red, some blonde and maybe brown as well, though the red is what I really remember. I then caught a quick glimpse of my mom and aunt, who were sad and not wanting him to go. I feel like they were asking him, pleading with him not to die. He looked at peace.

My aunt Marge closed to door. I wasn't supposed to be there for some reason.

~

I was at my old job, which was a department store. It was nighttime. I was in the building with a few other associates.

I was over by the women's fitting rooms, when I saw some lava leaking from a crack that it had caused in the wall. I remember going back to it a little later, and more was coming out. I started trying to cover it with clothing, but, of course, the clothing just caught fire and burned up. I felt as if we were trapped.

I then had another idea. I went to another fitting room with another associate, and we started looking for fire retardant clothing. We looked through lots of packaged pajama sets that normally the store receives around Christmas. I went through lots of red ones. Then, a supervisor, Charles, came up to us.
"Those aren't going to work," he said.
I imagined the fitting rooms slowly filling with lava.

Someone went back in the fitting rooms a little later to get something, and I was surprised when they came back out, because some time had passed, and I figured it was filled with lava by now.

Then, I was close to the front of the store by the doors, when Ashley, another associate and my IWL friend, came back in. I asked her if there was a way out, and she said no, there wasn't. I imagined it outside, us surrounded by lava or erupting volcanoes. I knew we were doomed to die in the building. We all knew.

I then approached Jaime, a manager, and asked her if she had anything strong we could take. If we were gonna die slowly, may as well not be able to feel anything. She took a silver package of these big pills out of her purse. They were Percoset, a strong pain killer (never taken them IWL). She gave one to me, one to Ashley, and took one for herself. The pill was wrapped in another piece of plastic besides the silver packaging, but it was supposed to dissolve when you took it. I put it in my mouth to swallow it. It immediately tasted very bitter. I tried to swallow it, but it was such a big pill, it was proving to be difficult. I really wanted the bitter taste out of my mouth. Before I swallowed it, I already started to feel the effects of the pill. I figured it was a fast-acting pill for those who were in major pain. I remember Jaime chewing her pill. I didn't understand how she could stand the bitter taste.

I woke up for a little bit, then went back to sleep, entering the same dream.

The pill was in full effect now, and I went to the bathroom to pee. I looked down at the tiled floor, and the designs on the white floor tiles appeared to be oscillating. Yeah, definitely feeling the pill. I stood up, and then, even though I did not feel the need to pee, I kept peeing. I peed a lot.

~

I was at the department store I used to work at again, setting up some display on the endcap of a register. It was almost Christmastime. I thought to myself that it seemed so soon for Christmas; it felt as if we had just had it. I remembered the year prior with my husband, who was then my fiance. It seemed like just yesterday.

Then, Ashley walked by. She was wearing a black maxi skirt that was slightly sheer, but only at the legs, and a black top. She said
"It's been a year, and I'm going to be possessive of you, _____, and _____." I can't remember what else she said besides me.
Apparently, Ashley was my wife. She had some issues about Christmas; something about the holiday made her feel insecure. I understood this, and was not upset by it. I just wanted her to be happy. I "remembered" kissing her, and thought about how I never thought I would marry a woman, and how my family never saw it coming either. But I loved Ashley; she was my wife.

I then "remembered" driving to see her the prior year on Christmas, and taking pictures of the road on my way and sending them to her. I remember one in particular of the interstate in front of me. I was in the far left lane, and there was a metal chain-link fence on the divider. I think a semi-truck was also in the picture.

~

I was walking through a city in the daytime. It was sunny out. It reminded me of a video game. I was with my husband, Dallas. The objective of the real-life game was to kill the governor. I had a shotgun on me.

Dallas and I split up at some point. I was walking the streets alone, searching for the governor. I feel like I encountered some people and talked to them, but I can't quite recall. I noticed my husband's absence, and wondered where he was.

I then approached a building and entered it. It was a library. I was standing in the huge foyer. There was a service desk in front of me, and behind it, glass windows looking into a room with computers and books. The floors were dark wood, and the lighting was sort of a "mood" lighting, not too dim but just right. Immediately, I recognized this library as one from a dream I had years ago, and knew I was dreaming. The dream quality instantly started to suffer, so I concentrated on my hands so as not to lose lucidity. My hands were changing as I looked at them, turning into baby hands and sprouting extra fingers. I walked as I kept focus on them, and the dream seemed to stabalize.

I approached a young, tall, skinny girl standing at a podium. She looked to be in her early teens, and had dark hair pulled back into a ponytail.
"What's your name?" I inquired.
"Jaime," she responded.
"Jaime, are you a real person, or are you part of my mind?"
"Part of your mind," she responded with a smile. As she said this, she stepped out from behind the podium.

I then went somewhere else, up some stairs I believe, and into a very crowded hallway with a balcony overlooking the foyer. It was circular and stretched around the edges of the room. I approached a blonde boy, probably about the same age as Jaime, and found out his name was Josh. He didn't really seem happy. He reminded me of someone I met IWL at my old job. He had the same name as well. He looked similar too, though much younger. I was having trouble getting him to look at me in the eye. I took his shoulders in my hands and said something to him, though I can't remember what. I was trying to get him to see something.

I then was not sure what else to do with my lucidity. I didn't feel like I had much more time. I could not remember any goals I had prior to falling asleep. So I decided to do something I actually haven't done in a long time in my dreams: Fly. I took a running start, and people started to look, telling their friends to look because I was going to fly. I ran up and down the hallway a few times before I decided a running start wasn't the best way for me to do this. I leaned over the balcony. I saw all the people across from me on the other side of the hallway, and everyone below me in the foyer. I wasn't sure about this, since I had not done it in so long, but I let myself fall from the balcony. I then flew. Everyone was cheering me on. I was going very fast, however, and felt out of control of my speed, though I could rise and fall when I pleased; when I thought about going higher, I would, and when I thought about going lower, I would. I was just going so fast...

The cheers then started to slow way down, like when a record is slowed down. I had an FA in my bed. I kept my eyes closed for awhile, but finally decided to get up out of bed, because I was hearing what sounded like someone peeing, or water trickling into water. When I went to get up, however, I noticed that my feet were already touching the floor, as if I was half standing, and half laying down in my sleep. I got all the way up and walked down the hallway. I noticed my husband standing in the guest bathroom doorway. The lights were off in there. That's odd, I thought he went to work. I got closer and noticed his shorts were pulled down, and he was peeing. Is he sleep peeing?

Upon getting closer, I noticed he was peeing in my cat's water dish! My cat, Belle, was just standing there too, watching. I started getting really pissed at him (no pun intended), and yelled at him for doing that. I know that he and my cat don't really get along, but seriously?? I started yelling at him to stop, and asking him how he would feel if someone peed in his water. He said something smart-assy back to me. As I was raging, he started to walk away into the kitchen, which was much, much bigger than our IWL kitchen, which actually brought me to lucidity for a second, but I was so angry that I lost the lucidity in my rage. I noticed that the kitchen had chopped up potatoes all over it; the counters and every surface were covered. I knew he had done this just to spite me. I asked him if he was going to clean it up, and he shook his head no. I was so fucking angry. I went into the guest room, which also looked much different, and tried to slam the door, but the coat rack on the top prevented me from doing so (this does happen IWL). Ugh, I was so angry!

Then I woke up for real.

~

Ugh, I can't believe I couldn't remember what I wanted to do with my lucidity. Maybe another night. I'll just keep incubating my ideas, and hope that they come through into my dreams. Glad for the lucidity though! Woot woot!!

Dream - Lucid


Something about two guys.

When I woke up, in the middle of the night, I told myself I'd remember this dream. I think it's time to start keeping a notebook beside me again to take brief notes between awakenings...

~

I was swimming in an in-ground pool with my friend Courtney S. It was sunny and beautiful outside.

I then remember thinking about my wedding photos, and whether or not they were edited yet. I was in line to speak with my photographer, who had just gotten back from vacation. When I saw her at the front of the line, we were inside and she was sitting behind this counter/podium. I said hello to her, and something about the photos. She smiled and was excited when she responded, but I don't remember exactly what her response was, though I feel as if I misunderstood her, thinking that she had finished editing the photos. I saw her handling photos, many of me when I was a child. I "remembered" them being in an album at my wedding for the guests to look at, but I did not see any photos from the wedding itself.

I remember doing more things involving my wedding, though I can't remember much of the specifics. My old work friend Nicole may have been there at some point.

Then, I was hanging out with someone I knew when I was in elementary school, Alex H. We were having fun, I don't remember what we were doing, we may have been swimming. I had a feeling he was ready to leave. I asked him if he wanted to stay longer, but he said he had to go. I understood. We had a good time, and I was not disappointed that he wanted to leave.

I then was waiting in line to ride some really fast indoor roller coaster with some friends, though the only one I remember knowing was Courtney S. It was a ride that usually had a very long wait time. I remember the colors being shades of purple and blue with dim lighting. The ride had something to do with the photographer/photography, though I couldn't tell you what the connection was, other than the photographer was the ride operator. Though this photographer was not my original one, but she was someone that my wedding photographer had hired. It was a woman around my age (25) or maybe a bit younger, and she looked very bland; her face had a blank, dull look to it. I remember hearing an old woman asking her a question, and her responding with a quick "No". The woman asked her another question, and received the same response. I walked away before I could hear any more of the conversation.

Anyway, the negative photographer (ha, see what I did there? ) was standing behind a podium, though this time it was a roller coaster operating panel. We did not wait as long as I had remembered waiting for the ride before. At the end of the ride, you would win a lot of coins, mostly silver coins like quarters and such, because it was apparently also some sort of race. One of my friends in the dream, a short, chubby girl about my age with a dirty blonde ponytail and round glasses who resembles Kristin, a girl I met at at my old job IWL, said that if you were on the last cart on the roller coaster, and you finished last, somehow cheating the system, you would win double the amount of coins as the winner.

We were then boarding the coaster. I got on the last car on the train. The shoulder straps came down, and the train started to move up. The chubby girl then jumped from somewhere on my right into my car with me. She was trying to cheat the system to get more coins.
"Get off!" I said to her, more than once. I was concerned about her safety.
She finally jumped off as the train was moving towards the main track. She jumped onto the last bit of floor left beside the car. When she jumped, the train was moving a little faster, so she had to run a little after she landed, and came very close to falling off the edge.

The ride was very fast, but very short. I had remembered it being a longer ride, and then I figured out why: The photographer who had run it the last time was the main photographer, the one who shot my wedding. This other girl was just trying to get us in and out of there as quickly as possible.

I then was at a machine that was dispensing the coins to those who won. I cupped my hands under the dispenser, and it started to pour coins out. I had quite a few, just enough to overflow my hands a bit.

I remember the chubby girl had gotten on a car behind me so she could cheat the system.

Remembered much more from last night than the past few. Just goes to show how journaling your dreams really aids in the recall of them. Hoping to step back into lucidity more often again, especially with the new mindsets that I've adopted. I'll keep you guys posted.

Dream - Lucid

I was at a school, either an elementary or high school, and I was supposed to go and work with learning impaired children. I had been asked to do so, and was very excited about the opportunity. I was going to get paid $5.25/hr, which was apparently a lot of money compared to some other jobs. I remember thinking about going in and teaching the kids.

I was then driving on the road in my car when I got a phone call from a woman, a teacher from the school, saying they were doing some switching around, and if I wanted to switch to working with vision and hearing impaired kids for a pay raise to $6.35. I got excited and said yes, of course I would! I told my mom about the opportunity that was offered to me when I got home to the house I grew up in.

Then, I was in my room getting ready to go to my first day on the job. Someone else was there with me, though I can't remember who. I was looking through a box of old mementos. I saw one that was a blurry picture of my friends from high school, Leigh and Erica, both wearing red shirts and holding balloons and gift bags. I was telling the person I was with that that year they were my Valentines. It was a funny, lighthearted "memory".

It was then that it dawned on me that I should have stayed at the job working with the children who had learning disabilities, even though it paid less, because I had no idea how to use sign language. How was I going to communicate with these children? I remember mentioning this to someone that was with me, and they said, jokingly, I should just knock on the desk a few times, because it would get their attention. Apparently, in sign language, it meant there was danger, or that I needed to relay an urgent message.

I kept on thinking about what time it was, because I didn't want to be late. I didn't have my clothes on yet, which was a white button-up top tucked into blue jeans. I picked up some old, worn out blue jeans that I used to wear in middle school and high school IWL all the time. They were sitting folded up on top of a white set of stand up plastic drawers that I bought in college IWL. Whoever was with me was still there, and we were talking as I was getting ready to go. I kept looking at the digital clock sitting on my desk. I also remember that the lights in my room were off, the only light in the room coming through the windows.

I then was looking through the mementos, and was trying to locate a cute note card I could write on to give to one of the teachers I'd be working with. I found a bunch of small dark blue note cards with puppies on them from various people at my old job, one I remember specifically being from Brent. I saw his name scribbled on the inside of it. I then found a note with a hand-drawn cartoon of a man from my therapist. It said for me to talk to her later. I then remembered that she had been the one to talk to me about the opportunity to work with the learning impaired children. I could not find a note card that hadn't already been written on.

I kept thinking about how I was going to go into the school and ask the person who asked me if I wanted to switch if I could switch back because I didn't think I was up to the task. I felt much more comfortable with the thought of working with the children with learning disabilities.

Again, I was concerned with the time. I needed my white button up. I was just standing in my room talking to whoever was with me with my unzipped and unbuttoned blue jeans on. It was getting close to time for me to be there.


I woke up with ten minutes to spare from my alarm.

I know I dreamed more than this, but again, I did not get much sleep. I actually have my first full day at my new job today, though at this job I will not be working with children at all, just baking delicious breads and pastries. I'm thinking this may be an anxiety dream about starting the new job.

Dream - Lucid

I was in what was supposed to be my apartment. I had married my husband, but also this girl I know from my old job named Whitney, who, IWL is a lesbian. I was laying on the couch in the living room, and I thought to myself that I wasn't sure how I felt about marrying a woman, but I had asked her to marry me. I then thought about my husband, and I felt better. I remember they walked into the room and Whitney came over to the couch. She was dressed a lot more girly than she ever does IWL; she had bright red lipstick on. She and I gave each other a little kiss on the lips, and I thought to myself I had never kissed a girl before. Then, either I thought about or someone asked me about whether or not the marriage would be recognized in Tennessee.

~

I was working my last day at my old job, though the area looked much different. The registers were all in the same area of the store, close to a wall, and the walls were all white. I remember speaking with Jaime, one of my old managers, and asking her if it was ok that I was there because I hadn't shown up for my last three shifts. I don't remember her exact response, but she said it was.

I was checking people out at the registers. I remember one of my old supervisors, David, being there helping to check people out as well. One of the "higher-ups", as I like to call them, was checking himself out. At the time I did not see this as weird, but IWL, that is definitely not allowed, even for the "higher-ups". He was a black man who resembled one of the IWL district managers, though, in the dream, I never saw his face, only his back. I went to go help him bag his things. He was buying many of the same dress, a spring/summer dress for a young girl. I think it was white and a soft, minty green color with thick tank top sleeves (as opposed to spaghetti strap sleeves). I was neatly piling the dresses on the counter, one on top of the other. I don't remember what he said to me first, but I said
"I'm helping you bag."
He then laughed at me and said something else. Whatever he said really pissed me off, though. I walked out of the register bay, and was looking at his back. The next thing that came out of my mouth was
"Well I hope you have a nice fucking day!"
I knew I would get in trouble, but I didn't care. It was my last day anyway, and this guy deserved it. What a corporate douche. I thought David would get pissed at me for it, but again, I really didn't care.

~

I was going to a funeral for my grandpa (IWL he passed away on Memorial Day). I remembered him being alive recently, and my brother and I speaking with him. He was smiling and laughing as we talked.

I was in the funeral home with my brother. It was spacious and had lots of seating. I don't remember anyone else being in there though. The room seemed empty.

Then, I found out someone from my new job, someone my brother had worked with also (he works for the same company I do IWL), had passed away. It was a very kind, older white man who was short with a white mustache and white hair. We were then at his funeral. I remember sitting in the very, very front of the funeral home with my brother. I remember crying, but I wasn't able to remember the man's name, and neither was my brother. I kept going back in my memory, trying so hard to remember, and I kept coming up with George Lopez, but it didn't sound right. We were saving a seat for my old store manager at my old job, Sherry. She came in and sat next to us. I still could not remember the man's name, and I kept on thinking and thinking about what his name was.

Well, there you have it, my first DJ entry in over a year. I didn't get too much sleep last nigh, probably didn't end up asleep until almost 4am, unfortunately, so I'm surprised I remember three dreams. But hey, no complaints from me. I love dreaming.

Dream - Lucid

I was at work, standing behind my register, though it looked more like a grocery store mixed with the department store I work at. We were ungodly slow. My manager came up because I guess I had a problem with something, and I asked her how she was doing as she helped me ring up someone's stuff. She said "Good, you?" I responded with the same, saying I was good. We then worked in silence, and she came across some sweatpants with more than one security tag on them..3 to be exact. She didn't seem to notice them, so I pointed them out to her. We traded places and I got the tags off. She told me I was doing a good job at some point in all this, and I said thank you. I also remember looking at my computer screen and seeing that I hadn't gotten any credits, but I had gotten 7.7 emails. I thought that the 7.7 was kind of weird. I couldn't think of how that could happen...

Then, back to the slowness. I kept falling asleep behind my register it was so bad. Something then happened with my computer, and it was acting funny. I kept typing things in, and I'd see logos from other stores, like Toys R Us, advertising sales and such.

I then realized I was dreaming. I typed in a whole bunch of things in the computer to see what would come up. No matter what I typed, I'd get some sort of logo. I remember typing some inappropriate things, though I can't remember what.

I then went to go look around. There were other people in the store as well. I saw some hand soaps on display, so I decided to pick some out. I picked out a pink one with a butterfly on the label, and some others. I read the labels, but I can't remember what they said. I had my arms full with all the soaps I picked out; I needed a basket. I tried to pick up this teal basket that was for sale, but my arms were too full to get it. So I thought to myself "When I turn this corner, there will be a basket". I concentrated on this thought, and then, I started to notice buggies that were empty and laying around. I noticed a smaller black one that resembled the ones we have in the store IWL. It was by a frozen goods section of the store. It was made for a child to sit in it as well. I thought that one was perfect. I put the soaps down into the child's seat and started to roll the buggy through the aisles.

I then saw the back of what looked like my friend Caitlin's head. She was also rolling a buggy around and shopping. I passed her, then turned around and saw that it was, in fact, Caitlin. I said
"Hey, girl!"
She replied
"Hey!"
And I started to walk next to her. I then said to her
"You know this is a dream, right?"
and she replied,
"Yes."
I then said
"You know you are in my dream, right? Our minds are touching."
She replied with
"Yes. I have my theory on that. Minds can only touch for 2-3 minutes."
I liked that answer. This rarely happens with DCs for me; usually they stare blankly at me when I mention the fact that we're dreaming.

I guess we decided to take advantage of the 2-3 minutes, because Caitlin then said
"Follow me!", and she started to run.
I ran after her. We were in the back of the store by the beer. In that section, the floor was made entirely of beer can boxes. I had a good speed until I hit the boxes, and then I could barely run. She seemed to be having no trouble, however. She turned a corner into an area that returned to the normal, tiled floor. She was laughing, so I guess she was having fun.

Then, we approached a wall. I wanted to go through the wall with her, though I knew our time together was running short. I rolled my buggy to the wall, and pushed it. It went straight through with no problem. I asked Caitlin to go with me, but she seemed reluctant because the time limit was running short. I convinced her to follow, however, and I went through the wall first, with her behind me.

We were then in a dim, alley-like hallway. I walked ahead and turned a corner. I looked behind me, and she was no longer with me. Oh well. I walked ahead, and approached a pitch-black area. I felt very unnerved; there was something there...

I then woke up briefly, and did not move or open my eyes, and ended up in another dream. I knew I was dreaming upon entering it, seeing as I had DEILDed. I was now in a dim-dark area, staring at my reflection in some glass double doors. My expression in the reflection was very frightened. I was also wearing an off-white, knitted winter hat resembling one I own IWL. Hmm...the expression did not change.

I examined my surroundings, and I was standing in front of some store. There was a whole row of glass double doors in front of me. Behind the doors, I could see nothing but black. Below me, on the ground, was a tiled surface.

I then heard footsteps on the tile, and a male voice from behind the door.
"Could someone please let me out?" it said.
I opened the door, and stared into the blackness. I heard the steps coming closer, and I briefly panicked, and backed away from the door.

I then thought to myself
"This is a dream. Whatever is there can't hurt me."

I approached the door again, so I was standing right in front of the abyss. A tall shadow in the shape of a man approached me. He then lunged at me, knocking me back. He was on top of me, almost "one" with me; he was a shadow after all, and had no mass. I felt this intense blow of panic and fear as I was knocked back and he was on top of me/with me/trying to merge with me. I then woke up.

Epic dream was epic. I have had quite a few epic dreams lately, actually. However, I am very busy at school and literally have no time to write anything down. I will keep up with this the best I possibly can, but the updates will probably be few and far between. I will tell you that I have been having a surprising number of lucid dreams lately. I think it is the new meds I am on that are causing this epicness, or at least they are aiding with it. You don't see me complaining!

Dream - Lucid


I was going to my house with Caitlin and her boyfriend, Israel. I'm pretty sure my brother was there too. It was nighttime. We had apparently bought a new house, and this one was on the market or something. But Caitlin and Israel wanted to stay there and hang out all night.

When we walked in, a younger Mexican couple came in shortly after we did, and told us we needed to get out. They had a key, and let themselves in the front door. They were in charge of the house now that no one really owned it. They yelled at us for awhile, and then left.

Right after they left, I remember looking out one of the windows next to the front door. Caitlin and Israel had parked their cars on the other side of the road to make it look like they were at the neighbor's place instead of ours. I remember a white pickup truck being out there.

Of course, we didn't leave. Caitlin and Israel gamed in the living room, and I went upstairs to my room to try to sleep. All the furniture was still there, my bed included. I slid my sleeping mask over my eyes, and tried to sleep, hoping that if the Mexican couple came back, they would take pity on us because I was trying so hard to get some rest. I tossed and turned (which is exactly what happened last night IWL).

Then, two little Mexican girls climbed into bed with me. I was happy to have them there. I figured that now the couple could never kick us out, seeing that there were small children here.

Morning then started to break, and only one child was there now, curled up under the covers. Though now, she wasn't a child, but a kitten, a white, fluffy kitten resembling my waking life cat, Belle. I remember seeing her fluffy tail poking out and waving. It was kind of like she was still the girl, but in a kitten's body? I dunno, it's hard to describe.

I then noticed that the little girls were playing a joke on me. They put up these really inappropriate posters on my walls of naked, HUGE women (they sort of resembled Jabba the Hutt they were so huge). One had speech bubbles coming from the mouths of the women. It was supposed to be funny, though I don't remember what it said. I was really concerned that the Mexican couple would come and see. I told the girls to take them down. They ripped the one with the speech bubbles off the wall, tearing it down the middle, leaving the side scraps taped to the wall. Underneath it was a fat, cartoon vagina.

I then had a thought to myself "This is a dream". Wait. This is a dream! I floated up from my bed, and saw some posters above my bed. I decided to phase through the wall to see where it would take me, though I didn't really think about the destination; I was a bit hasty with that decision. I just ended up back in my room after easily phasing through the wall.

Well, I thought to myself, I better think this through. I then really noticed one of the posters above my bed. One was of a bald, younger black man with lighter-colored skin trapped inside a crystal (it looked like the crystals you can break in Super Mario Galaxy, which I have been playing a LOT of lately). I decided to try to phase through to see what kind of world he was in. First, though, I tried to interact with him. I put my hand up to the crystal, and he did the same, and smiled at me. I started to phase through, and I went somewhere VERY briefly, though I can't remember any details because I either woke up or went into another, non-lucid dream.

~

I was in a math class with a woman teaching. We were finding number patterns. For every one that we found, the teacher would give us a $50 check. I remember we were asked to find a sequence, and I was writing it down in pencil, and I raised my hand to give the complete sequence, which happened to be the numbers 1-16, in order. I was writing the sequence down on a white envelope that had been torn open. I can clearly remember writing the numbers down, correctly and in order, despite dreams liking to mix things like these up. I received a check for $50.

~

I was now in a doctor's office or hospital, though it did not resemble one. I'm not sure why I was there. There was a man there too, who was getting worked on before me. A nurse then came in and examined my foot. She took a silver tool that resembled pliers/some sort of clamp, clamped it on my big toe, and squeezed down, cracking my toenail, which had old, lighter-colored blue nail polish on it. It took me a second to realize exactly what she was doing, because she offered no explanation beforehand; she just did it.

"Are you removing my toenail??" I asked, taken aback.
"Yes," she replied.
"Why? It's going to hurt isn't it?"
She replied, saying that removing the nail would make something easier, though I can't remember what.
I then said back, very upset,
"I don't want you to do that. Fix it! Fix it!!! There's no reason for this!"

But it was too late; the nail was cracked in three places. I removed my foot from her grasp and refused to let her remove the nail.

I then went on to a psychology class I was apparently taking. A friend was there with me, though I can't remember whom, or if it was someone I even really know IWL. The teacher was female, and she started to lecture, giving us the definition of psychology. I figured i should take notes. I scrambled through my things, looking for a sheet of paper. I realized I was so not prepared for this class. All the paper I had didn't have lines, and there were very few sheets anyway. I started to write, in orange highlighter, on the inside spine of a black and grey fabric trapper keeper. I write in huge letters, and spelled psychology "Psychollogy". I was desperately trying to keep up with her as she lectured.

The class ended shortly after, since it was only the very first day of classes. I couldn't remember if I had another class after that or not (in the dream, it was Thursday, the day school starts back up again IWL). I was going through my things again, looking for my schedule. But I just couldn't find it. I racked my brain trying to figure it out, and thought that maybe I had chemistry afterwards. I then remembered a dream memory like it was real life; I had dreamed that I had another chem class, and I skipped most of the classes (I did actually dream this once; in my dreams, I remember many dream memories as if they really happened). I thought that I had tried to take chemistry 3 different times.

I then was looking through a book I had, and I found many $50 bills tucked away inside its pages. I also found a fake-looking $20 bill that had a blank back side to it. I remembered the math class. I suppose I had forgotten about the money. I figured I should put it in the bank.

~

I was in my room, laying in bed. It was morning, and I could hear my brother talking to my mom. My brother was supposed to be out of town with his girlfriend, so I figured something must had happened with them.

I was then at my brother and I's friend Charles's house. I walked in the kitchen where Charles was, which looked different than his waking life kitchen, mostly because it looked like it was on the opposite end of the house, and my brother was there too, along with another person, I think it was supposed to be Charles's little brother (he doesn't have one IWL). Blake (my brother) was talking to Charles about what happened with his girlfriend, but when he saw me, he stopped talking. I asked them what was going on, and my brother just held up his hand to me like he wasn't going to tell me. I guessed they needed some guy time, and I was intruding.

Charles's little brother then chimed in and said something about Blake's girlfriend situation, and either Charles or Blake told him to be quiet, or shushed him.

~

IWL I'm about to start going back to school to work on another degree, and I guess I'm a little anxious about it since I haven't been in school for over a year now. I'm sure it will be fine, but I'm taking some difficult classes, I have two labs, and I'm also working part-time. Glad I got a bit of lucidity, though I'm surprised I did since my sleep has been hella fragmented lately. Hoping for some better, more restful sleep tonight.