side notes

Suddenly I was waiting for a train car to arrive on the railing system in a dream world. I looked around and saw people walking about as they did in waking life in similar places. I noticed that there were several tracks leading in different directions in which all the directions seemed to venture out into a similar distance, almost as if they shared the same track but split, if that makes any sense.

This kind of reminds me of my life right now, and how I hold a belief that I have many options or ways to outlook my own life, through meaning and understanding or disdain. I like the first two over the last, except, sometimes I get caught up in my own feelings and I feel like I can fall into an empty void of eternal darkness, and that's just scary, but as time ticks on I am learning to rid myself of fear and old beliefs so I can become one again. Oh, and have better dreams because I have been through quite the dry spell lately.

So frequently I have these dreams that are located at shopping centers.

In the dream I hear conversations of people happening around me. The dream started out where I was walking towards a store with some kids that were supposedly my own. One of the kids that was with me was just a toddler girl, she kept running away from me towards people and other stores so I kept having to catch her and hold her for a bit before putting her down again. Anyways, I heard a conversation that was I'm guessing my own conversation about being goal orientated or wanting some goal orientation because it seemed to me that nothing was happening of interest in this dream.

FYI: I have a separate dream family apparently. The are made up purely from imagination and I can't fully see them in dreams, its almost like they are just shadows, but I can see them and talk to them but it just doesn't seem real enough to me and it is quite frustrating that the keep showing up. Rarely do I ever dream about real family members. It is very strange to me.

I am then losing track of who I'm with because it is not clear to me who these people really are to me and they won't really communicate with me either mostly because it just seemed like I had a baby with me and that was it, but I felt other presences within the dream, it was odd.

I walk around the store I was going into in the beginning of the dream and start looking for clothes for a baby. I do this a lot in dreams and I have no clue why because I don't want kids, although I love kids and am definitely not expecting. Apparently my subconscious picks up on the side suggestion that maybe I do want kids but it will never be a set fulfillment in my life so it leaks out into the dream world.

So this whole entire dream I'm just walking about it store outlets, and I have no clue what I am really doing there. END

The next dream I was playing a video game that reminded me of a shooter like Grand theft auto. I was playing with these people and was telling them to take down this mob boss in the game. The mob boss had two stacks of health and when I shot him his health only went down a little, but he was just standing there staring at me. Then I said something like "wait, who is the person I'm shooting? Am I supposed to kill him?" There were these two other people with me who told me that there was some other objective to accomplish before we killed the mob, but I was still confused about why he was there in the first place if we had to do something else before killing him. END

The last dream kind of remotes back the shopping center except it was kind the shopping outlets were separated into fairground booths but still had the layout of an outlet store. You could walk into these booths, just like you would a store and the whole room consisted of the booth. The had weird prizes for kids, very ugly giant stuffed animals. Someone then told me these booths were like daycare, you leave your kid at a giant outlet store fair game booth with unreliable people. I told the people at one of the booth/stores that these were a bad idea and no kid would want to stay at these. Apparently as it was apparent to me in the dream I was very disappointed at the idea and left or rather awoke. END

I remember the dream seemed to start out where I was at a school library that looked like the inside of a Barnes and Noble book store. I could smell printing in the books, and then It was like I was reading a manga book but then it was happening right in front of me somehow but two dimensionally. The manga book really didn't seem to have a premise because when I was reading it I saw the print of a school girl aiming a gun or beam gun up in the air randomly. She had short dark hair pulled back into a pony tail and looked like a manga character. Then, she pulled the trigger. This was like looking at a flip book except it seemed to happen on one page. After she pulled the trigger it hit a pillar which then collapsed and fell on top of another school girl who kind of looked like Konata from lucky star but then an older version of her or a similar looking girl then came around the corner. The younger Konata was passed out from being hit and the older girl that resembled the younger shorter one came in and swiped the girl up then ran off to get some help or something. I then flashed back into the bookstore. It was almost like I was witnessing another dimension act itself out. I thought that what I had just read was boring and seemed to lag on about random stuff so I looked through the other manga books. I said no to all of them while saying things like "another book about school girls, no. A book about friendship and hardship, no." I listed all the genres off by my own liking and insisted that it was just the same crap over and over again.

The next dream I was onboard an Alien ship, I had awoken into this dream remembering seeing a fading light and being lifted up. I saw these tall green aliens looking at my feet and poking them, I then realized my feet were green. The aliens then started saying things like "where, were you?" "we were looking for you" and they kept asking those questions until I said something like "I don't know." and then felt distanced from the aliens as I zoned out into a haze for awhile and then woke up

The next dream was Harry Potter related. I remember that chronologically something had happened to where howarts history was repeating itself and time in this matter really didn't exist. I was walking around Hogwarts talking to Ron who was telling me how easy it was to get lost as a first year and told me to try not to get into trouble. I then was on a different floor, Hermione, who was standing looking on ward looked disappointed about something. I couldn't tell until the scenario of where I was became more clear to me. I was in a class, I don't remember which one, but something had gone terribly wrong and Hermione was struck by this. I was a little disoriented within the dream so I don't remember completely what had happened in the classroom like room in hogwarts, it was as though I was trying to remember bits of the movie and the book together to create a dream, but it was all a haze.

I had a dream while I was taking a REALLY long nap today. I had finally fallen asleep and I was swimming underwater.

It was like I was just swimming and swimming for hours without worrying about harm or anything. It was kind of fun.

But then near the end of the dream I found out I was both watching and in a discovery channel documentary. There was this huge shark fish attacking a boat. I was thinking "Sharks don't do this in general, do they?" and then the guy who was narrating the show said "no, but watch this" he this like nothing was going to happen to the people on the boat. Then what happened was this fish knocked the boat so a human fell out. I was watching this from beneath the ocean floor but all this seemed all very close. The fish then swam up to the person and ate him but it was all blurred out by ocean floor sand. The narrator then closed the show by saying "next up on how in the world did that happen" like that was the name of the show I was watching. I then swam up a little higher and realized there were these fish by plants or coral reefs. I told them to "move!" like they were in the way of some great movie.

Notes: The giant shark fish kinda looked like a shark with a Merlin appearance but still had eager eyes of a shark and it was kinda fat.
Also I have had a lot of ocean dreams before, but this one was one the vivid end of dreams of the ocean.

First of all I'd like to go over that I have been taking a different vitamin supplement so my dreams seem a lot clearer and vivid than usual.

I had two periods of time after falling asleep in the past week or two that stood out very much.

The first one I had was about a week ago or more.

I was supposed to get something really important accomplished in the dream. I was given the idea that this accomplishment or task was to go to the doctors/psychiatrist to get some examinations done. I was going to see Dr. Silverman who was my real life psychiatrist at one point in time, before I turned eighteen. I had some imaginary friends who seemed to have there own presence within the dream with me. Nobody could see them.

The dream became vivid once I was in the office. It was like a corporate business office where the have huge offices. I was then told by one of my fake friends that Silverman was evil and that he was doing me no good by giving me advice about my mental illness or whatever I was in the office for.

I then took this to the next level by running up to a higher level in the building, It happened to be that I wasn't just in the hands of an evil apprentice who was my psychiatrist but also I was being followed. I kept running when I stopped at this weird architecture on the top floor. It was built in a way where there were walkways against the wall and railing, there were also ramps and coves. It was like a playhouse but it was used for adult purposes such as banking or meetings. I was up on this floor and huddled in a corner with a bunch of people who seemed real to me but I wasn't quite sure that within the dream if they were even real. We were huddled against the corner when something stuck upwards through the bottom floor through a wall on the floor i was on.

Then I was looking at a little girl in a picture that looked awfully familiar. I then heard a little girl's voice say something like "well, I believe in Santa clause..." and then there was laughter and cheers of little kids. Weird...


The next dream I had was last night.

I was at my grandmother's old house that we have not lived in for about a decade. We were in this house and it was the holidays. It was like I was having a past dream about memories in this house except that people who weren't even born yet during that time represented themselves in this dream as if I was being psychic about there existence.

There was also some family situation going on where one of my aunts who is known to steal or be deceiving was making up bullcrap in the dream. Nobody seemed to notice but me that she wasn't a bad person but because of the past and what her parent's let her do she was the way she was. Note **** I think I was thinking about this in real life one day

The first thing that happened was that I was in a movie theater viewing a film with a few people that I seemed to know but never met before. The movie seemed fiction but it seemed to real and people were questioning if the people on film where real people. Somehow this was not just a movie to me and what I was seeing was weird Anamorphic creatures who had human personalities on stage asking the audience if they were real or fake because they couldn't tell either. I got frightened and started to run away and then realized everyone else was running too and then there were only like three people left in the audience. I finally got out and realized everyone had left in a hurry because even the theater outside at the concession was empty. Knowing that something was not right this Asian girl appeared to me she started to drive me home. The part where I went from the movie theater to the car happened too fast to really know what was going on. She was driving me home and we got home rather fast. I noticed the house looked nothing like mine and it looked kind of old school. I told her this house was not mine and she said "okay" and drove away mindlessly with me. Something then happened to where it was the Christmas season and I was lost. It was like the whole dream changed but I was still in the past dream so I was trying to connect dreams in a way. Something happened to where snow was piled in on a toddler in a car and we had to get it out. we got it out but then there were these people who decided to take kids from the neighborhood and keep them from their parents. There was people standing in a hallway which seemed to be a street too with all there Christmas gifts from that season. Nobody knew what was going on so everyone mindlessly followed orders. It turned out that the people who took our kids were taking us against our will and taking all our things from us and our children. It was kind of like the holocaust. I ended up running away.