Lydia's Game of Dreams

2019, 05-29

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in Windhelm. I see one of my least favorite people, Rolff, following a Dunmer and saying rude things. The Dunmer is Suvaris, she’s just ignoring him. I walk over and get his attention. I tell him stop harassing people. He calls me an elf lover and says people like me are as bad as they are. I tell him he is the scum that even bottom feeders won’t touch and he is good only for fus’ing practice. Suvaris turns around and starts to say Rolff isn’t worth getting in trouble over, but before she finishes her sentence I fus Rolff. FUS-RO-DAH! Rolff flies through the air and slams into the stone wall of Candlehearth Hall then falls to the ground in a heap. He isn’t moving. Suvaris asks if I killed him. I say no, it was just a fus. But I’m unsure… did the idiot go and die? I try to remember when I last saved, wondering if I should just leave him dead. Skyrim would be slightly better without him. But I see him moving when I go over to him. He groans and picks himself up. He says I’m crazy and was trying to kill him. I say if I wanted to kill him he would be dead, but if he stops being an asshole I won’t bother him. He says fine, he’ll leave the gray-skins… er… elves alone if I promise not to kill him. Before I can answer he disappears into Candlehearth Hall.

I’m not sure what I was in the middle of doing before I saw Rolff being an asshole. Why am I in Windhelm? I go into the Palace of the Kings. Did I need to talk to someone in here? I see Galmar and Rolff in the back of the room, apparently Rolff snuck out the back door of Candlehearth Hall. From what I hear Galmar isn’t being too sympathetic with Rolff. He says he told Rolff if he kept up his behavior eventually he would get his ass kicked. Rolff sees me and starts insisting I’m there to finish the job. Galmar asks if I’m trying to kill his brother. I say no, if I was trying to kill Rolff he would already be dead. It was only a fus for Rolff being an ass. The fus is done, so unless I see him being an ass again… The doors open and a guard runs in looking panicked. He says they’re here, they’re at the gates! Without even thinking about it I ask who, but he ignores me. Galmar goes over to the guard, the dispute between Rolff and me clearly pushed aside. The guard goes to Galmar and tells him the Thalmor are here, and they have the black crystal. Black crystal? That doesn’t sound good… so I head out to see.

Note: I wake up here, but I use a DEILD technique I read about and somehow manage to get back into the dream…

I am in Windhelm again, now fully lucid. I remember there are Thalmor at the main gate. I make my way through Windhelm, which seems considerably larger than it is in the Skyrim video game. I come to the main gate, which is closed and barred. There are guards who say no one enters or leaves, the city is under siege so they can’t open the gates. I say I don’t need gates. I jump up to the top of the wall, ignoring the stunned looks of the guards. I look out and I see an army of weird spectral black things. They look sort of like Thalmor, but all in black. I see one normal looking Thalmor near the back, there is a black orb floating over her head like a miniature black sun. The scene is quite disturbing. How many are there? Hundreds? A thousand? I don’t care, this is a dream and they can’t touch me. And even if they can, the worst that can happen is I wake up! And I have a plan that’s going to be awesome!

I jump down off of the wall and come face to face with a Thalmor. There actually are a few normal looking Thalmor in the group, the others all look like some form of solid shadow. I tell the Thalmor I am there to negotiate with their leader, and he doesn’t question it… he takes me through the ranks of shadow Thalmor to a woman I recognize is Elenwen. She says obviously there will be no negotiations, just a complete surrender or we will all be annihilated. I say I was about to say the same thing, but she and her shadow puppets will be the ones annihilated. She laughs at me and asks if I think the Stormcloaks stand a chance against her army. I say I never said anything about any Stormcloaks, it will just take me. So am I to assume she is refusing? Then kiss the army goodbye. She looks at me and says she can see I really believe I can do it, well no matter. I tell Elenwen I have one final thing to say, she says I had better say it fast then.

I am thinking back to an anime I watched called Slayers. There was a spell used in it called Dragon Slave, but Dragonslave uses dark energy and that will surely do no good against shadow warriors. For a bit I think I will be unable to remember the spell, but then I do remember, and I modify it as I say the words to make it use the power of the light instead of dark. “Sunlight beyond twilight, pure light is the power that flows. Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows…” The shadow Thalmor are attacking with black fire, it doesn’t burn but it seems to suck my energy out. I continue my spell, gathering my energy around me… “… In thy great name, I pledge myself to conquer, all the foes who stand, before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand. Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed, by the power you and I possess… Dragon Slave!” The resultant explosion is a blinding light that makes it impossible for me to see what is happening, but when it fades all that I see around me is a handful of dazed looking Thalmor and Elenwen staring in stunned silence. The black orb hovering above shatters like glass and turns to dust that blows away. I hope any dark energy in it was fully neutralized…

Elenwen is staring in stunned silence, I feel like I might pass out, which would most likely lead to me waking up. I guess it’s the dark energy draining my energy then the energy focused into the Dragon Slave. But I can’t look weak in front of these remaining Thalmor. I go with a video game power, I change my right arm into a sword like Alex Mercer on Prototype. I turn to the remaining Thalmor, preparing to fight with my Alex Mercer blade. They’ve had enough, however, and they take off. Elenwen is already gone, that sucks… I’d really like to fus her off of a cliff. I’m too tired to chase. Some Stormcloaks come out of the gates and chase after the Thalmor. Galmar comes out and pauses briefly, then seems convinced I’m fine and continues. So I’m alone? No one to see if I pass out. I’m about to pass out when I see I’m not alone. More Stormcloaks? I see Ulfric… I won’t pass out where anyone can see. The group that followed the Thalmor return, saying Elenwen and the Thalmor disappeared through a portal. Ulfric is staring at me as if I have grown a second head. Has he never seen a Dragon Slave? Oh, right… probably not. So I will go somewhere I can pass out and wake up in peace. I am walking away like a drunk, I almost walk into twin Ulfrics. This time I really do fall over, right on Ulfric, he holds me up for the brief moment before I wake.

Link to a video showing Dragon Slave: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QINNMT9TWIk

2019, 05-24

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am in a green place with trees around. I don’t recognize it. I look around and I see an old burned out house that may once have been a farmhouse. There is also a burned out barn and a small cabin. The cabin is the only part not burned. I head towards the cabin. When I get closer I see a man with long white hair pulling clothes off of a line and throwing them in a pile in a muddy patch near a spring. He then proceeds to whip out his member and begins urinating all over the clothes. I approach the man and ask what he thinks he’s doing? Pissing on someone’s clothes? How old is he? Five? Because no one older than that would be acting so immature. The man looks over at me, and in that instant I know who he is. It’s Eldred Jonas from the Dark Tower books, and he’s pissing on Roland’s, Cuthbert’s, and Alain’s clothes! Yuck!

Jonas doesn’t do much of a double take, he pulls his gun and says it’s too bad I happened to come by here at the wrong time. It’s too bad for me, that is. I just laugh. He points his gun at me and asks if I have any last words. I say as a matter of fact, I do. I have three last words. He tells me to hurry up and say them. So I do. I shout them. FUS-RO-DAH! Jonas is propelled backwards by the Unrelenting Force shout and crashes into a tree, falling into some tall grass. He struggles to get up. He does so and points his gun in my direction. I use another thu’um, the Disarm shout. ZUUN-HAAL-VIIK! The gun falls from his hand into the tall grass. He is saying he doesn’t know what manner of witchcraft I’m using, it won’t save me. He is frantically searching the grass for his gun. So I fus him again since once didn’t get the point across. FUS-RO-DAH! Jonas is propelled even farther away. Now he seems to get the point. He turns tail and runs, clearly deciding my witchcraft is too much for him. I retrieve Jonas’ gun and then go over to the cabin and sit on one of three chairs, I will wait to make sure Jonas doesn’t return.

After I wait on the porch for a while the three young men return early in the afternoon. They see the pile of clothes and then they see me. I tell them about catching Eldred Jonas in the process of vandalizing their place, but I sent him packing with a fus to the ass. I say I only wish I’d found him doing something bad on The Drop. Then I could fus him right off of the edge! That would be amusing. I decide that will be a future dream goal... fus Eldred Jonas off of The Drop. Of course none of the three young men know what I mean when I say I fus’d Jonas... I’m not sure how to explain it without fus’ing one of them. I don’t have much time to think about it before I wake up.

2019, 05-21

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am at the front gates to Disney Land with my ex boyfriend James. I look around to see what is going on. There are surprisingly few people here, but it doesn't seem odd to me. We are just early! We go through the main gates and down Main Street. We are trying to decide where to go from here. I pull out my phone and open a Disney Land map app. I highlight two paths, one that heads off to the right and the other off to the left. One will take us to Space Mountain and the other will take us to Star Tours. I tell James we can go to either of those first, but I want to start with one of them. James agrees and we head to the right towards Star Tours.

James and I head down the path towards Star Tours and we enter a Star Wars themed area of the park. There are various life sized props we could take photos of, and James climbs up on the nose of an X-Wing. I am about to take his picture with my phone when a person dressed as Buzz Lightyear says he'll take a photo of both of us together. I climb up on the opposite side from James and Buzz takes the photo. He says we will now get a trip to infinity and beyond. The previously shuttered cockpit of the X-Wing opens up and there is a strange alien in there. The alien smiles and takes off. We go up into the air. James is freaking out because he can't find anything to hold on to. I am a little concerned, but not much. It looks like James is about to fall off when the X-Wing finally lands. I am thinking it was actually a rather fun hidden ride, but James is mad.

We keep going a bit farther and I go into a restroom. Alicia is in there, I am surprised to see her. She is annoyed at the fact there are no stalls in this bathroom, just toilets in a line. Everyone is supposed to drop their pants in full view of anyone else in the bathroom. Alicia gives up complaining and drops her pants and sits on a toilet. I really have to go. I don't want to drop my pants in front of everyone, I'm too fat! But necessity wins out and I drop my pants as little as I can and sit down, trying to cover myself as best as I can. It seems everyone is staring, then I wake up because I really do have to go...

2019, 05-14

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am at a party of some kind. Everyone is dressed up fancy, though very old fashioned. I look around to see what is going on. There is an old man sitting near me and he's getting a bit grabby with his hands. He reaches over and puts a hand on my thigh and starts sliding it upward. I push his hand away, giving him a dirty look. This guy is old enough to be my grandpa! What a pervert! He looks at me strangely, as if he'd expected me to not only allow his touch but to like it. He tries it again, but I just find it too creepy. I push his hand away again and excuse myself. I look across the room and I see a man enter, he is also dressed up but seems to stand out from the others. There are two others with him who look so young they might still be counted boys. For some reason my eyes are held on that man. And it seems he is having the same situation with me, he is staring straight back at me.

I am distracted from the man by the woman who had been sitting beside me before. She looks pissed. She asks what I mean by rejecting poor Mayor Thorin like that. My first thought of who Thorin is brings to mind a dwarf with a long white beard from The Hobbit. That makes no sense, I don't see any dwarves anywhere in the area. But the woman is angry. She asks what I mean by staring at that affiliation boy so openly. I figure she means the young man my eyes had been drawn to, but since I don't know why I was staring at him I don't answer. This makes her more angry. She calls me "Miss-oh-so-young-and-pretty" which really annoys me. I interrupt her and ask her please not to call me that. She says she will call me whatever she wants. I say that's fine, I tried asking nicely, so now I will call her "Miss-oh-so-loud-and-rude" whenever she does. She turns beet red and for a bit I think she might strike me. I say noting, but the primary thought in my mind is, "Bring it, bitch!"

I think there is going to be more to the party, people are bringing food out now. I don't feel like staying. I head for the door. The woman calls after me, calling me "Miss-oh-so-young-and-pretty" again and telling me not to dare walk out that door. I call back to her, calling her "Miss-oh-so-loud-and-rude" and I tell her I'm really not feeling well, I'll be in bed. I think the fact I actually called her "Miss-oh-so-loud-and-rude" left her speechless. I get out the door without another word from her, then I wake up.

2019, 05-07

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

Note: I just has the longest and most epic dream I have had since forever! I took a melatonin pill last night to aid in recall and I have been reading dream journals here and thinking about dreams, and I think it is really helping! At least it did last night!

I am at school. I am in a computer class and we are dividing up into groups. Allison is in the class, and a couple others that I know. I am wanting to be in Allison’s group but she ends up forming a group with others and I am left out, so I end up getting placed in a group where there is still room. I don’t know anyone else in my group and I am not happy with it. Class lets out and we all leave class. I am upset and I avoid Allison, but a bit later we both end up at a pool that is at the school. I was going to get in the pool but Allison and her friends are there. We get into it, we have some pretty heated words, it ends up with both of us really pissed off at the other one and we part ways.

Later on I go to bed. I start dreaming. I find myself walking down a path at night that looks like some kind of fantasy forest. There are over-sized mushrooms that I think look like fairy houses and there are strange lights glowing amongst the trees. I think this fantasy world is not real, I must be dreaming. I do a nose pinch RC and I can breathe while pinching my nose. I become lucid.

I now remember the argument I had with Allison and I feel awful about it, I want to find her in this dream and make up. I continue down the path, now I am calling out to Allison, hoping I can find her in the dream and apologize for my part in our earlier argument. I want to say I got more upset about being in a different group than I should have and we can’t all be in the same group so it’s no big deal, I said things I shouldn’t have. I get no answer, but I find a town. I fly over the town, calling Allison. There are people in the town looking up at me and pointing and talking. I keep flying and calling, looking for Allison.

I fly over a larger city. I see a big display screen that’s showing the news. I get close enough to hear and I realize I am the news. The reporter is talking about the woman flying all over the place looking for her friend Allison and anyone with information should call in immediately. I keep flying and I see someone waving to signal me. I fly down and a woman says she saw Allison. I follow her to a theater that is dark and empty except for a few people. Allison is in one of the seats looking as upset as I feel. Her other friends are seated around her glaring at me. But they don’t interfere when I go over and sit down beside Allison and apologize for getting so upset. We make up and have a friendly hug and then I wake up.

But it was a false awakening. I wake up in bed and sit up. I start talking about the dream to record on my iPad that I have set up with a voice activated recorder. I record as much as I can remember and then I stop. I rub my sleepy eyes and then my itchy nose. Then I notice that even when I had my nose pinched almost shut while rubbing it I could still breathe freely. I do a full nose pinch RC and I find I can still breathe. But that can’t be… am I still dreaming? I repeat the RC and become lucid as I realize I am still dreaming.

I leave my room and I find my mom on the front porch of our house. She is just watching the birds around our bird feeder. I tell her that I am dreaming. She doesn’t believe me but I tell her I can prove it by making us both fly. She decides to humor me and let me try. We walk over to the stairs and I help her into the air. We both fly away from our house. My mom is amazed and now believes me. I fly with her down over the city, though the city is much larger than the actual city of Tucson where we live. My mom looks at a billboard that shows an advertisement for a live action version of the anime series Voltron. She seems interested in that so I tell her I can give her a better preview than that. I fly with her over to a tall building and we land on the roof.

Once we are on the roof I walk over near the edge and yell, “VOLTRON!” The sound of my shout sounds like I just did a thu’um as done in Skyrim, it is extremely loud. And then the five lions arrive. The black, blue, green, red, and yellow lions fly in from different directions. I take my mom into the air again to get her the best possible view of the formation of Voltron. All five lions come together and Voltron is formed. The huge robot clearly has my mom impressed, which surprises me. I had never thought she would be interested in Voltron. I look at the advertisement billboard again. It lists the names of the pilots, but they aren’t the same pilots as in the anime. I specifically notice that the pilot of the blue lion is different, though it is still a woman.

As Voltron seems to be showing off I see something else going on. A giant robeast version of Freddy Krueger has arrived on the scene! I land on a building with my mom where we can see what is going on without being in danger. Voltron engages the robeast Freddy Krueger in battle. The fight goes for a bit, but then it looks like Voltron is losing! Voltron forms the Blazing Sword but Freddy knocks it aside! Freddy is laughing and knocks Voltron down into some buildings. Voltron isn’t getting up.

I tell my mom that maybe I have to stop Freddy because an actually dreamer has to do it, an element of the dream won’t be able to do it. I leave my mom and fly towards Freddy. I use my voice sounding like a thu’um again, but this time I say, “I have the power!” I transform into something that looks like She-Ra from the old cartoon, but I’m too small! I repeat the thu’um “I have the power!” several more times, growing larger with each repetition. Now I am equal to Freddy in size. I am ready to fight him now.

I go over to engage Freddy in battle. We grapple for a bit, I push Freddy away from me and then fus him right in the face with one loud and powerful, “FUS RO DAH!” Freddy flies backwards and crashes into a couple of buildings, landing not far from Voltron. I go over to the fallen Voltron and pick up the Blazing Sword. Freddy gets back up and comes at me, I fight him using the Blazing Sword as a single handed sword. I have him retreating, he is trying to block sword attacks with his finger knives and it isn’t proving too effective.

Now Freddy backs off a bit, he seems to be trying to connect to the dream around him with tentacles that look like those of the daedric prince Hermaeus Mora from the Elder Scrolls games, the tentacles are grabbing onto and boring into the dream world, changing it into a nightmare wherever the tentacles touch. I take flight and cut the tentacles with my blazing sword as quick as I can to keep him from transforming the dream. When I have cut all the tentacles I fus him again and this time while he is down I run the sword right through his chest where his heart should be. This time it works, and he lets out a loud cry of rage or pain or both before he turns to dust. I am looking at the huge pile of dust when I wake up to my cat’s meows. I am annoyed at my kitty because I’m afraid she will keep me from remembering the dream. I do a quick nose pinch RC to find I really am awake this time.

2019, 05-02

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

Note: When I have video game dreams they tend to be long and detailed, which is one thing I like about them. I also seem to be very slow to realize it's a dream and not a game, which is frustrating.

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am starting a new game, I am riding in the back of the cart with Ralof across from me and Ulfric to my right, but I look to where I expect Lokir to be and instead of him there is a woman. The woman is glaring at Ulfric like she would really enjoy gouging his eyes out and feeding them to him. I am surprised to see the difference, I think there must be some random factor to the fourth person in the cart when starting a new game. She tells Ulfric she won’t kill him until he begs her to. Ulfric completely ignores her, not even looking at her. Ralof tells her to watch her mouth when speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak.

The woman briefly glares at him, then she sees I’m staring at her. She turns her glare on me. I return her glare, giving my best effort at a Vegeta (Dragonball Z) glare. She says if I even think about getting in her way she’ll rip off my face and wipe her ass with it. This strikes me as funny and I start laughing. She looks confused. I ask what her name is, she says her name is Varlin, and I’d better not forget it. I tell her she wins, and as soon as I learn the three word fus, she has won herself a place on the top of my list of people to fus off of a cliff. She looks at me strangely again, she clearly does not know what a fus is. Ulfric, on the other hand, is now looking over at me, but he can’t say anything because he is gagged.

Varlin returns her glare to Ulfric, who is still staring at me. I say that knowing my luck Alduin will eat Varlin, denying me my fus. And then Alduin will probably die from eating something that nasty. This earns another brief glare from Varlin and Ulfric’s eyes get wider. It sounds like he tries to say something, but then looks frustrated and growls, still staring at me. I want to know what he has to say so I stand up, and even though my hands are tied in front of me, I reach to take the gag off. A guard riding beside the cart gets closer and uses the blunt end of his spear to push me away from Ulfric, making me fall on the floor of the cart on my ass. He says if I try that again it won’t be the blunt end he strikes me with.

We get to Helgen and everyone gets out of the cart. Varlin immediately takes action. She has somehow freed her hands. She moves lightning fast and snatches a sword from a guard, and before he can even look her way she has run it through his chest from behind. She says she came to kill Ulfric, but now she wants to kill me first. She seems to think that will be easy since I’m still tied. I really want to fus her. So I do. I let out a full three word fus, “FUS-RO-DAH!” right in her face. And it works! She is launched backwards into the stone wall that surrounds Helgen. I have surprised myself, I didn’t think I could do that yet! A glitch? Nice glitch!

General Tullius arrives with Elenwen riding a horse close behind. Tullius asks what in Oblivion is going on, some people say Varlin killed a guard, more say Ulfric shouted at Varlin, and others say I shouted at Varlin. Tullius looks to where Varlin landed, but she is gone. He then looks at Ulfric, then at me. My cool down for shouting has finished, so I tell Tullius I have a message from Thorald Gray-Mane, and the message is, “Fus you.” He looks puzzled, then I fus him in the face. Now Tullius flies through the air and crashes into Elenwen, knocking her off of her horse. The two fall to the ground in a heap, they land in a pile of poop just dropped by Elenwen’s horse. I start laughing. This glitch is too fun!

These changes don’t delay Alduin’s arrival. He swoops over the tower and breathes fire. People start running, my ability to shout is no longer important. Tullius gets up and starts organizing a defense, all unarmed and bound prisoners make a run for cover. I turn towards Alduin and let out a fus. It does little more than surprise him, and he replies with a blast of fire. Ulfric grabs me and pulls me towards cover, his hands are free and his gag is off. He says if that’s really the World Eater, Unrelenting Force will do nothing to him. I think Ralof is the one who is supposed to come back for me, not Ulfric, and I ask where Ralof is. Ralof is on my other side, he says he’s right there and all three of us go into the tower.

Now things follow the normal path from Skyrim, notable differences being Ulfric says he has to make sure the other Stormcloaks get out safely, but Ralof will make sure I get out ok. And he wants to talk to me more, but that will have to wait. If we don’t see each other again here he will be in Windhelm. Ralof comes out the hole in the wall with me, at no time did I follow Hadvar or even see him. On the way through the tunnels under Helgen and out the back way I am completely fus-happy, these are people I’ve never gotten to fus before. The Imperial Captain who orders the player be executed even though their name isn’t on the list got fus’d repeatedly until dead. I follow Ralof to Riverwood and into his sister’s house where I collapse on a bed. That start was new, now to take off my VR headset… I’m not wearing one? Does that mean I’m dreaming? I never even get to RC before I wake.