Lydia's Game of Dreams

2019, 09-27

Dark Tower: Parting of the Ways

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

It is night, I am standing near a campfire with Roland, Susanna, Eddie, and Jake from the Dark Tower books. Eddie and Jake are transparent. Susanna is holding Eddie’s hand and Roland is holding Jake’s. There is a young man there I don’t know. He is drawing on a pad of paper. He shows his drawing, which is a work of art. The drawing is of Eddie and Jake. As if by seeing the drawing Eddie and Jake become solid. Susanna and Roland reluctantly let go of Eddie and Jake. As they let go Eddie and Jake start fading again. I look at the drawing and I see that is also fading… but why? Roland says it’s because they’re not really supposed to be here, that’s why. Susanna grabs Eddie, Roland grabs Jake, and they stop fading. But they don’t become solid again…

I ask what is going on with Eddie and Jake. Roland says ka is trying to reassert itself. If Jake and Eddie don’t go to the world they belong in soon they might completely fade. So far they have only been able to remain in this world because of their connections. I realize that is why Susanna is holding on to Eddie and Roland to Jake, to try to anchor them in this world. Roland says there really is only one answer, Eddie and Jake have to go to the world they were meant to be in. And Patrick (indicating the man with the drawing) is the only one who can make it happen. Susanna goes over and whispers to Patrick for a bit, then Patrick starts drawing.

I hear something out in the darkness, it sounds like something is creeping about out there. I feel a sensation of being watched. Roland sees me and says Mordrid is out there, and Mordrid’s a-hungry. I say no, it can’t be Mordrid, MoSh killed Mordrid. I am sure of that. Roland says something is lurking out there. I stare out into the darkness, trying to see what’s out there. I see something is reflecting the firelight. I slip into the darkness, ignoring Roland saying I shouldn’t. I use my night vision and I find the thing. It looks like a cross between a giant beetle the size of a large dog and a praying mantis. It attacks me, but I form my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and slice it in two. The thing melts into a strange black fluid that flows off into the darkness.

I return to the camp and now there is a door standing near the edge of the campsite. Susanna is looking at the door, still holding Eddie’s hand. She opens it and lets go of Eddie. When Eddie and Jake get near the door they are solid, but they start fading when they move away. Eddie says that must be the place. He is reluctant to leave because he wants to reach the Dark Tower, but he knows if he stays here he won’t make it anyhow. He and Jake will fade. After some debate it is decided that Susanna will go through the door with Eddie and Jake. Roland seems worried that the door is a trap that leads to toedash space. I say if it does I will get them out. I think Roland just doesn’t want them to leave. Susanna, Eddie, and Jake go through the door. After a brief hesitation Oy follows Jake. Patrick stays behind even though Susanna tries to get him to follow.

The door closes with a resounding thud. Now there is only Roland, Patrick, and me at the campsite. Roland looks depressed. Patrick curls up and appears to go to sleep. Roland sits by the fire and stares into it. He says maybe I should have gone, too. I say it would make no difference, I will wake up back in my prison dimension where I have no skills, no talents, and no abilities. Roland says he doesn’t believe that. I say yes, I always end up there. He said no, he meant he doesn’t believe I have no skills, talents, or abilities there. I don’t answer. He looks more depressed so I put my arm around him and give him a hug. I say I’ll probably wake soon, but I will be back, I am sure of that. I want to see the tower… if the roses around the Dark Tower have the healing properties of the one in the vacant lot then maybe it can even overpower my depression. Maybe both Roland and I can be free. I wake up here.

2019, 09-26

The Dark Tower: The Laughter Vampire

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am in a strange place. It is snowy all around, but I don’t feel the cold. I draw the conclusion that I am playing Skyrim VR since I can see the snow and feel a breeze but I’m not cold. It is getting dark out and the snow is starting to fall. I see a plowed street and a small house with smoke coming from the chimney. I head in that direction. I hear roars of laughter from inside. I look in the window and I see Roland, Eddie, Susanna, and Jake all laughing their asses off. There is also another man there that I don’t recognize. Something about him looks fake, though… like he was an illusion. This feels off, so I try the door. It is unlocked so I let myself in, hoping to not be seen as too rude… after all, no one would hear me knock over the laughter and for any normal person it would be bitterly cold out.

When I get inside and close the door behind me I see that none of the people laughing have even noticed me enter. The man I don’t recognize sees me and makes a lame-ass joke about my arrival. I don’t remember the joke, just that I found it about as funny as vomiting. I am the only one who finds it unfunny, though, as everyone else in the room roars with renewed gales of laughter. Susanna slaps her own face while laughing and a sore at the corner of her mouth starts bleeding profusely. This puts an immediate damper on Eddie’s laughter, and as the others look over they also stop laughing. The man telling the bad jokes, they call him Joe, looks annoyed. How dare Susanna interrupt his jokes with her bleeding!

Susanna gets up and excuses herself. Eddie wants to go with her, but she insists she’s fine and just wants to clean up in the bathroom. Eddie nervously watches Susanna as she goes. He mutters something to Roland about that sore not being a pimple, and he and Susanna should stop bullshitting a bullshitter. Joe tells a joke about bullshit. Eddie gets mad at Joe, saying his wife is bleeding, this is no time for jokes. Joe makes a joke out of that, too. Eddie laughs in spite of himself, Roland laughs, and Jake is on the floor laughing. I still find nothing funny. I think I will go check on Susanna, but then Jake looks like he’s choking so I go to him and try to get him to stop laughing. Joe tells another bad joke, making the laughter worse. I tell Joe if he wants to see something funny, watch this… and I fus him in the face. FUS-RO-DAH! Joe flies across the room into the far wall, falling to the floor in a mess of objects caught in the fus.

I am trying to help Jake and Joe makes a joke out of my fus’ing him. This especially gets Roland laughing and now Roland looks like he’s choking. Joe is clearly an energy vampire and he’s stealing energy from their uncontrolled laughter! I am about to do something a bit more permanent than a fus when Susanna comes back from the bathroom. She has her Witchblade formed into a sword which she uses to remove Joe’s head. The headless body doesn’t die. It stays on its feet and starts transforming onto something that looks more insectile than human. The strange thing blunders around for a bit before collapsing into the fireplace and catching fire and finally dying.

Susanna and Eddie embrace but then I notice Eddie is semi-transparent. What is happening? Jake is also semi-transparent. I do a double-take. I ask what is going on. Susanna holds on more tightly to Eddie and Roland embraces Jake as if they can physically keep them from fading. And maybe it works, as they become solid again. Roland tells me that ever since Thunderclap both Eddie and Jake have been fading in and out of existence. He says he thinks ka doesn’t like being foiled like I did. He says I saved them both, but now ka is trying to set things back to the way they were meant to be, and that means no Eddie and no Jake. Susanna says she has been having dreams that indicate there is a world where they are supposed to be right now, and they will be taken there one way or another. I wonder how to counter this unexpected effect when I wake.

2019, 09-20

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

Dark Tower: Saving Jake

I am standing outside a convenience store and gas station. It is a nice day. I hear a gunshot from the store and look that way. Shortly after the sound I see a familiar looking man and boy come out with a middle aged woman I don’t recognize. The man is Roland and the kid is Jake, from the Dark Tower books. The three of them head towards an old pickup truck and pile in the front. I have to follow, so I run after them as the woman tries to drive. It sounds like she is torturing a Tasmanian devil under the hood, then she finally gets it in gear and we pull onto the road. I jump into the bed of the truck as it is pulling away. We barely avoid an accident with an idiot in a blue van.

The woman drives like a maniac, but still better than the idiot in the blue van had been. She drives like she’s late for an appointment she wants to reach, that van had been driving like they didn’t care about getting anywhere in one piece. We drive down a steep driveway and then Jake and Roland are talking to a gardener about Steven King. They finally notice me. I tell Roland I am just there to help out if needed. I usually find myself where I need to be, but I don’t know what I am here to do yet. After a brief talk the woman tortures the transmission of the truck some more and finally rockets the truck back up the steep driveway.

I stay in the bed of the truck as we speed down the road. We make a sudden turn and speed down another road. I do not recognize the location, but it is beautiful. It would be a good place to live. There is a knock on the window to the truck cab and the woman motions to me to brace myself. I do, and the truck skids to a stop almost quickly enough to throw me over the cab and onto the road. I see a man walking along the side of the road and the same blue van from earlier driving on the shoulder, straight towards him! I see the driver is paying absolutely no attention to the road, he has turned around in his seat to discipline two dogs in his back seat. What a moron! And it’s about to cost the man walking on the shoulder his life!

The next few things happen really fast, there’s no time for second guessing. The passenger door of the pickup opens and Roland falls out onto the road, grasping his hip. Then Jake jumps over Roland and runs to the man walking in a flash, positioning himself between the man and the oncoming van. No! Jake will not die here! So then I jump over the cab of the truck, landing between Jake and the van and without even stopping to think about it I open up with a FUS-RO-DAH at the van. The wave of force deflects the van away from the boy and the man and into a tree on the opposite side of the street with a squeal of tires and a crash.

Now that there is time to look around I realize I have seen the man walking on the side of the road before. Stephen King? The author? Roland gets up and rushes over to Jake. I look over at the crashed van and I see the driver is moving. He probably hit his head, but he clearly doesn’t use that much anyhow. Stephen King recognizes Roland right away and also Jake, but seems confused as to who I am. And what was that thing I just did to stop the van? I say I am just a different kind of walk-in, and what I did comes from a video game that won’t be released until 2011. Then I asked if this was sure 1999. Everyone agreed that it is. I wonder if I am somehow in the past of my own world, if I am then I need to open a bank account with some money to save interest until 2019… but even if it would work I don’t get a chance to try before I wake up.

2019, 09-12

Regular Dream - Video Game / Semi-lucid - Lucid Dream - Notes

Dark Tower: Algul Siento

I am in Thunderclap from the Dark Tower books. Roland, Eddie, Jake, and Susanna are all gathered in preparation for their assault on Algul Siento, which is where the breakers are being held while they work on breaking one of the remaining beams supporting the Dark Tower. I tell Roland that I can use a song to remove the brainwashing on the breakers, increasing the chances of them helping. Roland says no, that may help after but for now he didn't want the breakers helping, it would make it too hard to determine who the enemies are. Right now there are only a few people on our side, and anyone else coming at them with a weapon could be assumed to be an enemy. I agree to go along with that plan.

As we are talking I see MoSh arrive. He looks at me and says that Algul Siento has some serious giant spider problems, but don't worry about it... giant spider went squish. I am wondering if he means Mordred. If Mordred is dead that’s one fewer problems to deal with. I ask MoSh what happened with the giant spider but Roland says the horn will blow soon, signaling the change in shifts. He says we have to be in position by then. It seems MoSh and I don’t have a part in the plan since no one knew that we would be there, so we decide that MoSh and I will just do whatever we can to cause as much chaos among the guards, Can-Toi, and Taheen that we can. And try to keep the breakers safe.

I think I will stay with MoSh, but I see he has already gone off towards Algul Siento. I try to catch up with him but a couple of guards with guns get in my way. One of them has the head of a rat, the other looks to be human. The human says he doesn’t recognize me, the rat says he’s sure I’m not one of the breakers. I tell them I’m not a breaker, I’m a fus’er. They look confused, the human asks what a fus’er is. I say I’m glad he asked… FUS-RO-DAH! With a sound like thunder the two guards are thrown backwards and they slam into an electric fence, getting electrocution added to the fus’ing. I change my right arm into an Alex Mercer blade and cut through the three electric fences that surround Algul Siento.

Now the chaos begins. The horn sounds, signaling the changing of the shift. There are explosions from opposite sides of the small settlement. There is the sound of gunfire and someone is sending out a telepathic message to go South with your hands up and you won’t be hurt. I ignore that message, putting up a block so I won’t have to hear it so loud. I have my Alex Mercer blade formed, so I put it to use as some of the Taheen guards are going past me towards the sound of the gunfire. I don’t have a clear memory of the fight, but when it is ending I see the warden of this prison camp, Pimli Prentiss, lying on the ground, wounded. I see Susanna and Eddie celebrating. Then I see Pimli Prentiss raising a gun. This is where he shoots Eddie! I go and step on the hand raising the gun before he can lift it. I say he’s not going to shoot Eddie this time before using my Alex Mercer blade to remove his head.

I watch Susanna and Eddie embracing for a bit more and then I hear Sheemie running through the streets yelling at the top of his lungs that the beam says thank you, the beam says it’s not too late, all may still be well! This seems to have made Sheemie unbelievably happy. I see he is limping. I go to him and ask if he is hurt. He says his foot hurts a little, but not too bad, and the beam says thank you, all may yet be well! I tell him I want to look at his foot. He says there’s no need, but I insist. He takes off his slipper and I see a nasty cut on his foot. I focus healing energy on that injury, I remember in the book it became infected and Sheemie died from it. Now he won’t be dying from that at least. I wonder where MoSh has gone to. I look around for him for a bit but then I wake up.

2019, 08-29

Regular Dream - Video Game - Lucid Dream - Notes

Dark Tower of Skyrim: Between Two Worlds

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am starting over yet again though I don’t know why. I am in the cart with Ralof, Ulfric, and Lokir. We go through the gate into Helgen. I see Elenwen and I know she and the Thalmor are responsible for my repeating this so many times. I call to her that their plan will fail! The tower will stand, the rose will be preserved, the gunslinger will finish his quest. And I don’t care how many times they make me repeat this timeline! Elenwen looks a bit alarmed, like I wasn’t supposed to realize I’ve been repeating this time period or that their target is the tower. We get off the cart, Lokir runs and gets killed, my name isn’t on the list but the captain says I should die anyway. Then Tullius starts his monologue. Elenwen interrupts and says she wants me executed first. I tell her that won’t do any good. Tullius gets angry and says he’s in charge here, and the traitor will be the first to… then Alduin arrives and torches the building behind Tullius. Everyone runs for cover. I yell after Elenwen that I will find her and I will fus her with a full FUS-RO-DAH! I am surprised when the fus works and Elenwen is blasted from her horse. Ulfric stares at me, then our path to the tower is cut off by Alduin’s flame. So Ulfric and I go into the inn.

I hurry through the door into the inn and run into Ulfric, who has stopped. I see we are in the lobby of an apartment building or hotel. Ulfric is completely confused by the modern looking setting. I look for the door back to Helgen, but it is gone. The only door leads out onto a busy modern street. I am thinking this must be one of my mods, but it has started too soon! And Ulfric isn’t supposed to be here! I distract Ulfric from looking outside to the busy street teeming with cars, I tell him I will get him back to Skyrim. But I’m not even sure what is happening, though I don’t tell him that. I follow the sound of voices into a dining room that is filled with a black mist that makes it look like Silent Hill. Father Callahan is in the room holding up the scrimshaw turtle. At least dozens of people are looking at the turtle, enraptured. Many of them have purple auras, others have animal heads, and others have red pulsing holes in their foreheads. Vampires, Taheen, and Can-Toi. I quickly tell Ulfric not to look at the object Callahan is holding or he will be entranced as well. I resist an urge to turn my own gaze on the turtle that emits so much light. I say the vampires are about to attack, I have to help Callahan. He won’t die in this instance!

As I approach Callahan the tapestry on the wall is torn down and the ugliest vampires I have ever seen enter the room. It looks like their fangs have grown wild, they have too many teeth to fit in their mouths! Callahan holds a glowing cross towards them and that keeps them at bay. This shift of focus allows a fat Taheen to lunge at Callahan and knock the turtle from his hand. Now several Can-Toi and Taheen move towards Callahan, their leader seems to be a malformed version of Big Bird. I am too far away to attack directly, but not too far away to fus. FUS-RO-DAH! I fus the enemies coming at Callahan, sending them flying across the room. The fus distracts Callahan, however, and the vampires make their move. They all get fus’d by Ulfric as they attack, throwing them against the far wall. Now everyone attacks. At first I am cutting down enemies with my Alex Mercer blade but then I see the dark clouds close around some of the enemies and I think that can be healed. I call up a crescent moon wand like in Sailor Moon and use a moon healing effect to fill the room with light energy. I telepathically tell those healed to get out since Callahan and Ulfric won’t be able to tell them apart from the other enemies. I don’t see details of what is going on, but I hear more fus’ing and quite a bit of gunfire. I know Callahan had a gun, did someone else join in? Soon all of the enemies are either dead or have fled.

Now the fight is over, or I thought it was over. I hear a gunshot from out in the black fog and the shot hits Ulfric right between the eyes. Shit! That will break too many quests! It’s a good thing I’d placed a quicksave when I thought the fighting was done. At first I’m not sure how to load that save game, but somehow I make it happen. So this time I am able to throw up a Witchblade shield just in time to block the bullet that would have killed him. I look into the fog but I can’t see who fired the shot. I call out, asking who is out there. But then I feel I am almost out of time. I have to get Ulfric back to Skyrim. But how? I need to find a door… but a door to Skyrim? Is there such a door? But I’m about to wake up. Wake up? Is this a dream instead of a game? No time to consider. I open a portal to Windhelm and I go to push Ulfric through it, no time to explain what is happening. There is another gunshot and this time I can feel the bullet pass between Ulfric and me as I push him towards the portal, but I wake up before I get him through it.

2019, 08-21

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

The End of Torture

I am in a dark place, I am spontaneously lucid. It looks like a dungeon dimly lit by torches. I follow a stone passage to a lit room at the end. I see a table with nails sticking up from it and a naked woman tied to it on her back. A man is straddling her, clearly relishing the pain it causes when he pushes her body into the nails. Three more men are standing around the table laughing. I walk into the room and tell them to release the woman immediately, calling the men sick monsters. They laugh at me, one says I’m next, just be patient. Another asks who I am. I say I’m their worst nightmare. I change my right arm into an Alex Mercer style blade. That freaks them out. Two try to fight, the other two run. I cut them all down, they seem more like demons than men to me. I then cut the woman free. She is crying. I manifest a robe to put around her and I focus healing energy on her wounds.

The scene around me shifts, now I’m in a hot desert. The woman I rescued is still with me. There is a naked man tied out in the sun. He looks badly sunburned. Two more men are sitting under an umbrella drinking something. One gets up and walks to a berry bush on the other side of the tied man, deliberately stepping on him then going, “Oh, sorry! I didn’t see you there. Is it hot enough for you?” He laughed as he picked some berries then stepped on the man again on his way back. The tied man says he will tell the others anything they want to know. One of the others laughs and says they don’t want information, they just want to watch him die, nice and slow. I still have my Alex Mercer blade formed, so when one of the men looks over at me he first asks what the fuck am I, then he pulls a sword and both he and the other attack. I cut them down easily. I free the prisoner, give him a robe to cover with and use healing energy on his wounds.

The scene shifts again. The two people I have rescued are still with me. Now I see three men and two woman standing around a naked man tied to a spit and being roasted alive over a fire! There is a pan below the man that is collecting some kind of drippings, and one of the women laughs as she spoons the bubbling liquid over the man. What is with these sick people?! I give the sadists one chance to release the man peacefully and when they just laugh at me I quickly put an end to them and free the prisoner, giving him another robe and healing. My Alex Mercer blade is dripping with gore, I am a bit grossed out so I unform the blade. I am hoping not to need it again.

The next scene is with a naked woman tied up and seated on the pointed end of a triangular shaped bench thing, it looks very uncomfortable. The triangular tip is lined with rather long and rusty nails. There are weights tied to the woman’s ankles to increase the force pulling her down on those nails. A man dressed like a Stormcloak soldier is watching with rapt attention, drinking in the woman’s pain. When I give him his one chance to release the woman he gets mad and yells at me, saying he knows Ulfric wouldn’t approve but he doesn’t give a shit, this fort is his! This bitch refused to follow orders so now she pays the price! And if I try to snitch then I’ll be next! Since this seems to be a Skyrim world I fus the asshole. FUS-RO-DAH! He flies across the courtyard and hits a wall. The man looks shocked. He said there’s no way I could be the Dragonborn… the Dragonborn would never be such a wimp… When he attacks I incinerate him into a pile of ash with the fire breath shout… YOL-TOOR-SHUL! I free and heal the woman and give her a robe. There are now two men and two women that I have rescued. The scene shifts again, but then I wake up.

2019, 08-13

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

The Dark Tower: Ulfric Dreaming

I am playing Skyrim VR, I have a Dark Tower mod. I am standing on a dirt road outside of Calla Bryn Sturges. Jake and three other kids leave before I get a chance to approach them. They are creating a false trail for the wolves to follow. I approach Roland, Eddie, and Susanna. I see Susanna is using a Witchblade for legs. Roland says he’s glad I could make it. He asks who my friend is. My first thought is that MoSh is here, but when I turn around I see Ulfric Stormcloak. That was silly for me to think… how would MoSh get in my modded Skyrim VR game? But Ulfric is not supposed to show up in this mod! I am now thinking I’ll be unable to use this mod because it’s broken, including characters that don’t belong here. Well I’ll give it a try anyhow.

Roland says there’s no time for introductions, they’re coming. He points towards the horizon where there is a cloud of dust indicating the approach of the wolves. Ulfric wants to know what that is. I tell him they’re evil robots… think Dwemer constructs… who are coming to kidnap the children of Calla Bryn Sturges and use them to try to destroy the tower that holds space-time together… it’s the same ultimate goal that the Thalmor have in wanting to break the tower on top of the Throat of the World. That must be another aspect of the Dark Tower, just like the rose in New York is…

I see Susanna, Eddie, and the others have gotten into a trench to ambush the wolves. Roland is watching for Jake and the other kids. Something is wrong. I tell Roland I’ll check on them. Ulfric is just looking at me, probably when trying to explain things I said both too much and not enough, just enough to sound confusing and more than a bit nuts. I quickly say those enemies are attacking a peaceful town and I’m helping defend that town, so he can either help or just get out of the way. I head in the direction Jake and the three other children went. After a brief pause I hear Ulfric coming behind me.

I get a short way down the road when I see the four kids. One of them has stepped in a hole and they can’t get him out! I go over to them and try to help. But then the wolves are on us! It’s too soon! The cloaked robots are coming on their robot horses, and they have seen all of us standing out in the open on the road. I tell the kids to keep trying to get the boy free, I have to deal with the wolves. As several are heading straight for us, they are wielding something that looks like light sabers, I fus them. FUS-RO-DAH! The horses don’t go down, but it is effective in blasting the riders off.

Now the fight starts. There is a lot of gunfire. I think if Ulfric is helping I should tell him to target the dish on the top of their heads, but his axe is charged with electricity so I figure that should short the things out as if they were struck by lightning. Speaking of lightning… I use a lightning spell to strike some of the wolves with bolts of lightning. Their “thinking caps” are like lightning rods! The lightning is also drawn directly to the sneetches. Three of the kids have gotten to safety, Jake is still out and firing at enemies. I hear the whistle of the plates as they’re thrown and I see a couple cut through the top of the hoods of the enemies, severing the “thinking cap” right off. I hear a fus from off to my right.

It doesn’t take long before all of the wolves are nothing more than scrap metal… with no losses on our side! My lightning struck down the sneetch that had been about to explode Jake’s friend Benny and the wolf that had been about to cut the woman’s head off found itself getting fus’d by Ulfric and then shot by Roland. I see Ulfric is still here. It looks like he is about to say something but then he fades from existence right before my eyes. Roland sees it, too. Roland asks if that’s normal? I say not really, but I think I’m about to do it as well. Then I wake up.

A Fishy Thalmor Tale

2019, 07-30

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am going out to eat with my mother and a friend from a past job named Evelyn. We are at a place that sells fast food seafood, similar to Long John Silvers, but a different place. There is a sign in the window saying they have a special going on, a full meal for $10. My mom says that won’t work because it’s limited to one use of the offer per order, and there are three of us. I say we can just go in and order separately. They seem hesitant to do that, Evelyn says she doesn’t think they’ll let us get away with that. I tell them I’ll go in and get my meal first, they can follow after.

I go inside the restaurant and tell the cashier I want a shrimp meal, the $10 deal. The cashier looks at me strangely and then calls to someone behind her. A manager steps forward and says he needs to talk to me in the back office. One of the other customers tells me not to go, it’s a trap. What kind of trap could a fast food place set up? I consider grabbing my food and running for it but my curiosity gets the better of me and I follow the employees into the back room, taking my bag of food with me. I start munching on breaded shrimp. As I eat it occurs to me that I never paid for this… but no one seems to care.

We get to the back office and I stop immediately, drop my bag of shrimp, and I do a double take at who I see. There are three Thalmor standing behind a large desk! THALMOR! What the fus are the Thalmor doing here? They obviously need to be fus’d! One of them is in robes while the other two are in elvish armor. The one in robes says it has come to their attention that I have been interfering with their operations and making a general nuisance of myself. I can’t help but laugh. I then thank them for the compliment, adding that I do my best to get in their way. The Thalmor looks angry, his eyes briefly seem to glow.

After a pause, the Thalmor asks if I even have a clue who they are. I say I do. In the past I would have seen Templars, now I’m seeing Thalmor, but I know what they are and what they are and what they are trying to do. And they will fail. The tower will stand, the rose will be preserved, the Gunslinger will complete his quest. I say these things without even realizing what I am about to say, but it all sounds true. The Thalmor says those are big claims from someone who may never leave this room. I say they can’t keep me here, because this is a dream…

This is a dream! I become lucid by realizing if the Thalmor are here I must be dreaming. I tell them that to leave I simply have to wake up. But before I go, a fus. Yes, a fus is definitely in order here. FUS-RO-DAH! The force of it throws the three Thalmor against the wall and blows everything off of the desk. Papers are settling around the stunned Thalmor. The other people in the room are also stunned by the fus. I turn around and walk out of the room without interference. I return to the front of the store to see if my mom and Evelyn are still there. I was going to tell them it’s a dream, but they’re not there. I decide to fly a bit but I wake up.

Skyrim: Dream of the Gunslinger

2019, 07-29

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR. For some reason I am starting over yet again. I am thinking I have started over so many times but I can’t think why. And here I am back in the cart with Ralof, Lokir, and Ulfric. I look at them and Ralof says the usual stuff, so does Lokir. I ask no one in particular how many times I have to repeat this. Well there’s nothing to do but wait for the dragon. Ulfric is staring at me. I don’t remember noticing him staring at me here before. I look around the cart and I see numerous Imperial soldiers riding around us, more than I remember noticing in past times I played this. But other than that it seems to be going normally… until we arrive at Helgen at the same time as a group of bandits.

The cart comes to a stop near Helgen because there are bandits between us and the main gate. They’re fighting someone. I hear the crash of a gun firing. The bandits freeze, not sure what to make of that noise. A mage throws a fireball at someone near the gate. There is another gunshot and the bandit mage falls. More start attacking, and more gunshots ring out. Bandits fall, one for each shot fired. The bandits actually show intelligence as they scatter from the unknown threat. As the bandits scatter I see a familiar face. It’s Roland Deschain from the Dark Tower books by Stephen King! The guards are trying to arrest Roland, so much for showing some gratitude for defending Helgen from bandits. It seems they’re assuming Roland is also a bandit.

The fact we were delayed at the entrance to Helgen does not delay Alduin’s arrival. The huge black dragon soars over Helgen, bathing everything in his path in fire. He saves a blast of flame for those of us outside the gate. The explosion flips the cart end over end, dumping all four of us out. I have an image of the cart landing on top of me and I try to get up only to be knocked back down when Ulfric lands on top of me. The flaming cart lands several feet away with a crash. I look to the side and see Alduin grab Lokir for a snack. That guy just can’t catch a break! Ulfric gets off of me so I can get up now. I see Roland staring at Alduin in amazement. When the dragon circles for another pass Roland starts shooting, though the shots have no apparent effect.

There is now chaos. People are running through the gate and into the surrounding wilderness to try to escape Alduin, many don’t make it. There’s an explosion near the gate and I lose sight of Roland. I head in his direction, I have to be sure he’s ok. Someone grabs my arm and pulls me towards the cover of the trees. I look and see it’s Ralof, I pull away from him and head for the remains of the gate. Roland comes out of the smoke, he looks unharmed. The Imperial captain that I hate so much is coming at us with several guards. I want to fus her. So I do. FUS-RO-DAH! The captain and the guards all go flying backwards from the force of it. If I have to repeat this, at least this cool glitch repeated!

Someone has grabbed my arm again. I look and see Ulfric this time. He says we have to move now, I won’t go anywhere until I know Roland is ok. Roland isn’t even supposed to be here, I’m not leaving him. I pull away from Ulfric and go to Roland. Roland is staring at Alduin, who is over Helgen and torching everything. I grab Roland and tell him we have to get to cover. Roland turns to me but then becomes transparent and disappears. What the fus?! I am looking where Roland disappeared. My arm is grabbed again and this time I go without even looking to see who is pulling me. I am soon in the trees with Ralof and Ulfric and a couple other Stormcloaks. I am wondering what happened to Roland. Ulfric wants to know where I learned to shout, but when Alduin roars, Ulfric says that will have to wait. I am about to follow Ralof and Ulfric into the trees but I wake up. After I wake up I wonder if I disappeared just like Roland did…

2019, 07-11

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR, starting at the beginning. Ralof is across from me, Ulfric is to my right, Lokir is across from Ulfric. Lokir is being extremely rude. He won’t shut and two out of every three words is an expletive. He is directing his torrent of obscenity at Ulfric, who is completely ignoring him. Ralof tries to tell Lokir not to talk to the rightful high king of Skyrim like that, but gives up. Lokir sees me staring at him and takes a break from Ulfric to curse at me. I ask if he talks to his mother with that filthy mouth. He gives me one final, “Fuck you!” before going back to cursing at Ulfric.

We arrive in Helgen and stop. I see the Imperial Captain and say to no one in particular that I really wish I could fus her ass. I look at Ulfric. He could fus her. I say I’ll get that gag off of him if he’ll fus the Captain. He looks at me strangely. Did he hear me? But other characters can’t hear what I say, they only hear the dialog choices I make… But then Lokir had seemed to hear me, too… wtf? Did I add a mod that includes voice recognition and explicit language?

Ulfric and Ralof are on the list, then Lokir insists he’s not a (expletives) Stormcloak and he hates that (expletives) traitor Ulfric. The Captain doesn’t believe him so he then turns his expletives on her, calling her a list of rude names I won’t repeat even though I agree with them. He then makes a run for it and is shot in the back by an archer. Hadvar says my name isn’t on the list, but the Captain says I should be killed anyway. Lokir used every expletive in the book, so I settle with telling the Captain to go fus herself. I would love to be able to fus her right off of a cliff.

Alduin swoops over the town, bathing everything in fire. I follow Ralof into the closest tower. Ralof and Ulfric and a few other Stormcloaks come out the hole in the wall, though after a blast of fire from Alduin the other Stormcloaks are either killed or separated leaving Ralof, Ulfric, and me. Hadvar and the Captain attack Ulfric specifically, saying he’s not getting away. I get to see the Captain get fus’d after all. Ulfric fus’s her right as Alduin makes another pass, so she gets fus’d and then toasted! I exclaim, “That was AWESOME!” Ulfric looks at me like he thinks I’m insane. He can hear me! I’d better watch what I say or everyone in Skyrim will think I’m a total psycho.

The rest of the opening quest goes pretty normal except for Ulfric is with Ralof and me. Then we are out and Ulfric wants to know if I know what fus means. “Of course I do, it means force. Ro means balance, dah means push. Now if I can just kill a few dragons I can do my own fus’ing…” Alduin flies overhead. “But not that one… I’m not ready for that one yet.” So the sooner I head off the Whiterun the sooner I will get the first word! I head down the path then wake up.

2019, 06-25

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

School Daze

I am in school. I am in a classroom, though I’m not sure what class is going to be here. I sit down at a desk about halfway to the back of the room. I look around at the other desks and students. I see a rack of comic books on one side of the room. My attention is caught by a Ranma graphic novel and a Ranma comic. The graphic novel is a collection of many of the comics, the single comic is a new release. I hear Vegeta’s voice in my head telling me to buy them both. I go over to the comic rack and take the graphic novel. Somehow someone else managed to get to the comic before I could. So I go back to my desk with the graphic novel. Vegeta will have to be satisfied with that.

I put the graphic novel under my desk to keep from being distracted. I notice on the cover it looks like Ranma has punched someone into orbit. I think a comic book rack in a classroom is just asking for distractions. A boy in the desk in front of me looks a lot like Ryoga from the Ranma comics. He hands me a green marker. I ask what I’m supposed to do with that. He says take notes. I give the marker back and tell him I prefer pen. He hands the marker back to me again, so I return it again. He lies the marker on my desk. I don’t know why he wants me to have it so badly. I am looking at my black notebook when I wake up.

2019, 06-24

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

Fus You Again, Eldred Jonas! A Dream Goal Fulfilled!

I am in some tall grass looking at a small cabin. I go towards the cabin and I see a young woman in the door. She is sitting on the stoop. It’s Susan Delgado. I ask her if she and her friends are all ok. She says she is, but Roland and the others are going into danger. I tell her I need her help with something. I have a goal I have wanted to complete ever since I saw Eldred Jonas for the first time, but I need her help. I am now remembering that Eldred Jonas is watching Susan through the pink glass of the Wizard’s Rainbow, so I will use that to lead him where I want him to be. Susan says she will help me, but she won’t leave Sheemie here alone. I say that’s fine, but I don’t think we have much time. Susan, Sheemie, and I head to The Drop.

I tell Susan I’m going to stay out of sight and wait for our guest, but don’t worry… I won’t let anything happen. And Sheemie should stay out of sight, too. Susan hesitates for a bit then agrees. Sheemie and I get out of sight in a clump of tall grass and wait. It doesn’t take too long before Eldred Jonas and a couple of thugs arrive. Susan has been looking out over The Drop and she doesn’t realize he’s there until he puts a gun at her neck. I hear him talking to her and telling her to come with him, she shouldn’t be out there alone. I tell Sheemie to stay put then I step out into the open. I tell Jonas that Susan isn’t alone. He glares at me and takes a couple steps towards me, moving away from Susan. I motion Susan to get behind me, which she does. Sheemie joins her. Now Jonas and his two thugs are between me and the edge of The Drop. Jonas says I’m going to regret messing with the Big Coffin Hunters.

Jonas tells his thugs to take me out. I ask Jonas if he has already forgotten what I can do. He stops short and looks behind him towards The Drop. He motions his thugs to stay put and now seems like he wants to be reasonable. He uses his most amicable voice when he says there must be some agreement we can come to. I say no, there is only one thing I want to do now. Jonas draws his gun and shoots as fast as lightning. The bullet hits me right in the chest and leaves a red hole, I feel no pain. I tell him he went and put a hole in my favorite shirt! He gets a shocked look on his face. I fus him and his two thugs. FUS-RO-DAH! The fus sends all three of them flying right off of The Drop, plunging to the rocks far below. Susan says she can’t believe Jonas missed! I show her the hole and say he didn’t, but my body regenerates instantly. I show her the unmarked skin beneath the hole. I tell her everything should be safe for her and Sheemie now, but I will return if they need me.

2019, 06-21

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am in a town that looks like something out of a video game or an old western. I am outside what looks like the sheriff station where there is probably a jail in there, too. I have no memory of how I came to be here, but I know why I am here. Roland, Cuthbert, and Alain are locked up inside for something they didn’t do. A person in oversized cowboy clothing approaches the door to the office. I have to take care of things first, without bloodshed. I can make sure no one gets hurt here. I intercept the cowboy before he… no… she… reaches the door. I whisper to her that I can help make sure no one gets hurt here. She hesitates, asking who I am. I tell her to be ready to continue her plan once I get those officers in there to release her friends.

Inside I find the sheriff and a deputy relaxing in the main office and I see the three boys I came for in the prison cells. They look up at me with some interest but no alarm. The sheriff asks what he can do for me. I tell him I have come to relieve him of his prisoners. He laughs and says I must be on the devil grass if I think he’s going to just hand over those murderers. I tell him I hadn’t figured he’d do it of his own free will… but still, they’re coming with me. The sheriff tells me I’d better get my ass out the door before he decides to lock me up with those murderers. I tell him those three aren’t the murderers. I saw who did it, it was Eldred Jonas and his cronies. Now the sheriff is just getting annoyed and he says he doesn’t need me to tell him how to do his job. I don’t want to take any longer, so I decide to use song lyrics to create the effect I want.

Focusing on one of the men and then the other, I use the lyrics from the song Seasons in the Abyss by Slayer. “Close your eyes, look deep in your soul. Step outside yourself and let your mind go. Frozen eyes stare deep in your mind as you die. Close your eyes and forget your name. Step outside yourself and let your thoughts drain, as you go insane, go insane…” A blank look comes into the eyes of the two men, the song has worked. I hear fireworks going off outside but I ignore that. I tell the officers again that I am taking their three prisoners with me. This time they are very compliant. The deputy walks over to the jail cell and opens the door, standing aside to let the boys pass. Cuthbert sarcastically thanks him for being a wonderful host, then expresses his regrets that they will never be doing this again.

The cowboy from outside is in the room now and I can see she is a woman, it is Susan Delgado. She embraces Roland immediately. She then looks at the two officers. She asks me if they’ll be ok. I tell her this state will wear off in a while and they’ll be fine. Just to make sure they don’t alert anyone too soon I tell them to get in the prison cell and lock it, then throw me the keys. I lay the keys on the desk. Someone will be by to let them out eventually. Right now Susan should carry on with her plan. For now I have to go, but I will help them more later if needed. Be careful, the danger is far from over. She turns to leave and I wake up.

2019, 06-05

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

Fus You, Donald Trump!
I am on top of a tall building, perhaps the Empire State Building. There is some kind of gathering there. I get closer and I see the president of the United States is there. Donald Trump is surrounded by secret service people and reporters are gathered. The president is standing near the edge of the building where there is a really tall railing designed to keep people from falling or jumping off. I get closer and I hear Trump saying something about opening a new coal mine that will employ hundreds and make money for him and all his rich friends. When a reporter asks about air pollution Trump says the coal burns clean. I get closer and Trump sees me, then says he can have whatever woman he wants. He reaches to grab me. I tell him if he touches me I'm going to fus him. He grabs a breast and laughs. I drop down to get a better angle and I fus him... FUS-RO-DAH! Due to my angle he flies up into the air and right over the barrier at the edge of the building, disappearing from sight. I wonder if he will make a crater when he lands, or maybe he will bounce? Secret service seems at a loss for what to do.

So Very Cold
I am in a strange place. It looks like an old style castle or fortress. I am not very focused on what is going on around me because I am so very cold. Not just cold outside, but cold inside. It feels like I might have swallowed some liquid nitrogen and I am currently freezing solid. I walk through the halls looking for some possible source of warmth. There are people around but they all seem distant and cold. They look like Assassins from Assassin's Creed. I need to find warmth or I will freeze through. I go through some more halls and rooms not sure of where I am going. I enter a bed chamber. There is a bed there with an Assassin sleeping in it. I feel warmth from there. I need that warmth. I stumble over to the bed and practically fall into it, crawling under the covers and up against the sleeping Assassin. He wakes and looks at me. It is Altaïr Ibn-LaʼAhad from Assassin's Creed. He puts his arms around me and holds me, I feel his warmth and now I am able to fall into a peaceful sleep.

Design a Game, Design a Reality
I am in a school, I am in a computer class. Everyone is working on our projects. My project is to design a video game, and I am working on a creepy one. I have just finished modelling a student desk and I am placing multiple instances of it in an empty and creepy looking classroom. It is coming out quite good. I make the room dark and add spots on the wall that are cracked and peeling, just enough to make it look abandoned. I add some marks that could be blood stains near a door that will lead to the next room. I need a bathroom break. I lock my computer and get up. I head out the classroom door… and I find I have walked right into the room I was just creating! How can this be? I haven’t even finished making it yet! I walk into the room and the door closes behind me. I turn back and the door is gone! I am thinking this might warrant a reality check when I wake.

2019, 05-29

Regular Dream - Semi-lucid Dream - Lucid Dream - Notes

I am playing Skyrim VR. I am in Windhelm. I see one of my least favorite people, Rolff, following a Dunmer and saying rude things. The Dunmer is Suvaris, she’s just ignoring him. I walk over and get his attention. I tell him stop harassing people. He calls me an elf lover and says people like me are as bad as they are. I tell him he is the scum that even bottom feeders won’t touch and he is good only for fus’ing practice. Suvaris turns around and starts to say Rolff isn’t worth getting in trouble over, but before she finishes her sentence I fus Rolff. FUS-RO-DAH! Rolff flies through the air and slams into the stone wall of Candlehearth Hall then falls to the ground in a heap. He isn’t moving. Suvaris asks if I killed him. I say no, it was just a fus. But I’m unsure… did the idiot go and die? I try to remember when I last saved, wondering if I should just leave him dead. Skyrim would be slightly better without him. But I see him moving when I go over to him. He groans and picks himself up. He says I’m crazy and was trying to kill him. I say if I wanted to kill him he would be dead, but if he stops being an asshole I won’t bother him. He says fine, he’ll leave the gray-skins… er… elves alone if I promise not to kill him. Before I can answer he disappears into Candlehearth Hall.

I’m not sure what I was in the middle of doing before I saw Rolff being an asshole. Why am I in Windhelm? I go into the Palace of the Kings. Did I need to talk to someone in here? I see Galmar and Rolff in the back of the room, apparently Rolff snuck out the back door of Candlehearth Hall. From what I hear Galmar isn’t being too sympathetic with Rolff. He says he told Rolff if he kept up his behavior eventually he would get his ass kicked. Rolff sees me and starts insisting I’m there to finish the job. Galmar asks if I’m trying to kill his brother. I say no, if I was trying to kill Rolff he would already be dead. It was only a fus for Rolff being an ass. The fus is done, so unless I see him being an ass again… The doors open and a guard runs in looking panicked. He says they’re here, they’re at the gates! Without even thinking about it I ask who, but he ignores me. Galmar goes over to the guard, the dispute between Rolff and me clearly pushed aside. The guard goes to Galmar and tells him the Thalmor are here, and they have the black crystal. Black crystal? That doesn’t sound good… so I head out to see.

Note: I wake up here, but I use a DEILD technique I read about and somehow manage to get back into the dream…

I am in Windhelm again, now fully lucid. I remember there are Thalmor at the main gate. I make my way through Windhelm, which seems considerably larger than it is in the Skyrim video game. I come to the main gate, which is closed and barred. There are guards who say no one enters or leaves, the city is under siege so they can’t open the gates. I say I don’t need gates. I jump up to the top of the wall, ignoring the stunned looks of the guards. I look out and I see an army of weird spectral black things. They look sort of like Thalmor, but all in black. I see one normal looking Thalmor near the back, there is a black orb floating over her head like a miniature black sun. The scene is quite disturbing. How many are there? Hundreds? A thousand? I don’t care, this is a dream and they can’t touch me. And even if they can, the worst that can happen is I wake up! And I have a plan that’s going to be awesome!

I jump down off of the wall and come face to face with a Thalmor. There actually are a few normal looking Thalmor in the group, the others all look like some form of solid shadow. I tell the Thalmor I am there to negotiate with their leader, and he doesn’t question it… he takes me through the ranks of shadow Thalmor to a woman I recognize is Elenwen. She says obviously there will be no negotiations, just a complete surrender or we will all be annihilated. I say I was about to say the same thing, but she and her shadow puppets will be the ones annihilated. She laughs at me and asks if I think the Stormcloaks stand a chance against her army. I say I never said anything about any Stormcloaks, it will just take me. So am I to assume she is refusing? Then kiss the army goodbye. She looks at me and says she can see I really believe I can do it, well no matter. I tell Elenwen I have one final thing to say, she says I had better say it fast then.

I am thinking back to an anime I watched called Slayers. There was a spell used in it called Dragon Slave, but Dragonslave uses dark energy and that will surely do no good against shadow warriors. For a bit I think I will be unable to remember the spell, but then I do remember, and I modify it as I say the words to make it use the power of the light instead of dark. “Sunlight beyond twilight, pure light is the power that flows. Buried in the stream of time is where your power grows…” The shadow Thalmor are attacking with black fire, it doesn’t burn but it seems to suck my energy out. I continue my spell, gathering my energy around me… “… In thy great name, I pledge myself to conquer, all the foes who stand, before the mighty gift bestowed in my unworthy hand. Let the fools who stand before me be destroyed, by the power you and I possess… Dragon Slave!” The resultant explosion is a blinding light that makes it impossible for me to see what is happening, but when it fades all that I see around me is a handful of dazed looking Thalmor and Elenwen staring in stunned silence. The black orb hovering above shatters like glass and turns to dust that blows away. I hope any dark energy in it was fully neutralized…

Elenwen is staring in stunned silence, I feel like I might pass out, which would most likely lead to me waking up. I guess it’s the dark energy draining my energy then the energy focused into the Dragon Slave. But I can’t look weak in front of these remaining Thalmor. I go with a video game power, I change my right arm into a sword like Alex Mercer on Prototype. I turn to the remaining Thalmor, preparing to fight with my Alex Mercer blade. They’ve had enough, however, and they take off. Elenwen is already gone, that sucks… I’d really like to fus her off of a cliff. I’m too tired to chase. Some Stormcloaks come out of the gates and chase after the Thalmor. Galmar comes out and pauses briefly, then seems convinced I’m fine and continues. So I’m alone? No one to see if I pass out. I’m about to pass out when I see I’m not alone. More Stormcloaks? I see Ulfric… I won’t pass out where anyone can see. The group that followed the Thalmor return, saying Elenwen and the Thalmor disappeared through a portal. Ulfric is staring at me as if I have grown a second head. Has he never seen a Dragon Slave? Oh, right… probably not. So I will go somewhere I can pass out and wake up in peace. I am walking away like a drunk, I almost walk into twin Ulfrics. This time I really do fall over, right on Ulfric, he holds me up for the brief moment before I wake.

Link to a video showing Dragon Slave: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QINNMT9TWIk