MadamAurantia

I need to not take Benadryl to sleep. With all the family issues going on right now, it wasn't good.

I was about 18, and my younger sister was 15ish. I don't remember exactly what was going on, but she started following me and telling me everything that was wrong with me psychologically. Every time I told her to leave me alone, she analyzed that too. I finally stormed out of the house, just leaving home to get away from her. She followed me still, chirping about how disturbed I must be to be running away from home. I stopped, gripping her wrist and bending it backwards until she started crying, and cussed her up one side and down the other telling her to f*** off and that I hated her. Then I woke up.

Before this, I was with my husband visiting an adult-themed shopping mall. It was a fascinating place with kinkiness that I didn't know my mind was capable of. Yay, me. But when I tried to leave, I suddenly found myself uncontrollably vomiting until I went back inside. I threw up blue hair at one point, and something pinkish and still undigested. I never ate, but I hurled several stomachfuls of yuk before waking.

On waking this first time, I saw my husband asleep next to me but he somehow registered as my Dad. I was shocked and disgusted at my cuddle instinct until I realized who it was beside me.

The sister thing is reliving some family drama, but a different sister is the one doing this. My elder sister has decided that something has damaged me to make me convert from the family religion, and is determined to heal me by the power of the family deity whether I want it or not. She recently sent me a Christmas card full of rather threatening rhetoric about what this god will do to me if I don't repent. And since I'm the only one of my faith in the family, no one will back me in this. They think she's a little over-the-top, but still in the right mind-set.

My little sister has come the closest to supporting me, and I'm very big-brotherish in my overprotectiveness of her no matter my femininity. I'd never hurt my Bugg in reality. Dunno why my mind translated my older sister into her.

I don't have many scary nightmares, just rage and screaming fits.