dream fragment

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Other info: My sleep schedule went overboard again. At least we have proven again that bad schedule results in more deep sleep, less dream recall and diminishing LD chances.

Dream recall method: None. I really felt like giving it all up and skipping the DJ today, but forced myself to write those fragments before they were gone.

Dream1: I am watching a show of some kind and am in the audience. Initially this thing was supposed to start late in the evening, but it got postponed so it began at 4.00 am. Towards the end of it, it is 11.00pm the same evening, and I find it a bit strange that it finished earlier than it began. There are a lot of parents with their small kids and they complain that it is getting really late and their kids need to be in bed. So the show is just about to finish. My mom is sitting next to me. Most of the audience at this point consists of black older women. There is a moderator kind of like Oprah. Music starts to play and everybody begins to clap hands church style. I am trying to move my body in the rhythm but something in me doesn’t wanna do it. I can’t do what they expect me to. Next thing, a song from the 60ies begins to play, a song which I knew in the dream very well. Once more, everybody including my mom knows the moves of this song. It is a strange sequence of finger moves around the head and on the face. My mom encourages me to participate, but again I just can’t do it because this time for real I have no idea what the moves are, so I feel a bit stupid.

Fragment2: I am going back in some place where I see an old friend of mine. It looks like he has made a huge mess, there is lots of water and dirt on the floor and he is trying to clean it with a mop. I wonder if I should do something about it but it looks like he is finishing up. I take some cauliflower from the floor and throw it in the trash. I go back to look for my friend, wondering whether I should tell him about LD and what he will think about it.

Fragment3: Another friend of mine. I was wondering if he is really back. Don’t remember much, but I perceived him very vividly, I guess because I couldn’t believe it was him.

Fragment4: I look around and notice that I am in some German looking city. I say to someone that this looks like the same city I went to a concert a while ago. [I had a very long and vivid dream where I went to a concert in a small German city a few months ago. That dream concert was really cool!]. Then I look around and see that perhaps it’s not the same city.

Fragment5: I was reading a post on DV.

Note to self: “I am going to bed on time tonight. I will notice every feeling I have when falling asleep”.

During day: 6xRCs

Total Sleep time: 6+ hrs.

Other info: Went to bed quite late, fell asleep even later.

Dream recall method: DS review

After waking up couldn't remember almost anything, so I went over my DS, checking for a gut/ memory reaction. Got a confirmation with 2 DS. Today I have only fragments

Fragment1: My dad was riding a bike, which later transformed into a skateboard. He was performing some unbelievable stunts.

Drawing a line under water in the same place where other tracks were.

Fragment2: I am in something like student housing, got my own room there. Some guys which I know in the dream leave the room and I lock the door. One of them had to return he forgot something, it is agent Cho from the Mentalist but he looks even prettier. He asks me where the knife is, it is laying on the desk nearby. Some bad guys smoke cigarettes outside, one of them resembles Ross from Friends.

Fragment3: I am having a way too honest conversation with grandma, where I complain a lot and feel like a complete loser. My aunt is lying on a bed, next to grandma, using my blanket, and a pillow I identify as mine. She plays, or just uses as another pillow a toy rabbit which my grandma says is very important to her, so grandma wants it back.

Fragment4: An unpleasant person from my past. I notice her in the midst of a crowd. She is wearing Sari type of clothes, orange color predominantly. She expects to win some kind of award and when that does not happen I see her face convulse with anger.

Total sleep time: 9+ hrs

Dream recall technique: dr1 – woke up, noted key words only, went to bed and played the dream 3 times in mind; dr2-dr4 left it entirely to chance if I would recall anything after final wake

Other irrelevant info: was supposed to wake up on time but turned off the alarm, and as I lay in bed I fell asleep, woke up two hours later and had a shorter Saturday. Well, you can’t have it all…

Dream1: I am looking at a building and can see a female politician . I am in some kind of garden where there is sand instead of grass, and cactus-type looking plants. The politician is going somewhere and I hide behind part of the garden construction, observing her. She has a beautiful watch, silver with tiny diamonds. I am thinking about the watch so I zoom in, in my mind. It then becomes a strange looking ring. There is a large gray stone in the middle, and the metal part looks like a twisted wire, like an old handicraft object. I am thinking about how people have treasured rings and precious stones even in ancient times.

I walk to another section of the garden, where I see small insects, like bees or flies, but hey, they are walking bypedally and have colourful armour. Next to them are small toys similar to kinder surprise toys. They are also alive and move. There a 3-4 different types and 4 of each type one next to the other.

Around the garden there is a race track, where Formula 1 cars usually drive. I start throwing small pieces of paper on the track. I later realize that these pieces may interfere with the driving, but it is too late. The cars cannot drive any more, they malfunction and get broken. I begin to worry that the cost of the damages would be really high, these are F1 cars. People would know it is me who did it, because the pieces of paper all have my name written on them. I start to collect them from the track in a plastic bag that I bring with me, and which I leave nearby. My collecting the papers is in vain, because somebody already saw one or two of these and they know. I am looking at a monitor which has information about one of the drivers. All I recall from what I read is that the driver is racing for Renault. I then remember that I left the plastic bag with the papers near the track so I want to go back and take it. I use an elevator to do so. The elevator comes and I press the 4th floor but don’t get in. The doors close, and I think “Damn, now I have to wait again”, but suddenly I find myself in the elevator and am going up.

This turns into some kind of detective series, where I am the party who is at fault, I am also a man. There is a woman with me who is investigating what has happened, and a relative of whoever has suffered from my action. I have no idea what that means, but I have the desire to tell that relative that it is me who is responsible for this and so I tell her. She gets really mad and annoyed with me, and I have to flee to another room to escape her reaction.

At some point in the corridors of that place my grandpa appears. [I haven’t seen him for 15 yrs irl, divorced grandma a long time ago]. I am surprised that I see him, the image becomes quite vivid and on focus. [Maybe it’s a dream?] I just ask him how he is, and how his family is doing.

Dream2: I am going somewhere very far to throw away the garbage. I find myself in a basement like room where there are hats on the couch. I am trying to concentrate on throwing away things and I see in a box containing trash, how many things I have actually cleared out. I look at another box and recognize some books as mine that I don’t want to get rid of. Maybe I will just use the place as a storehouse then, I think to myself.

Initially, I leave the room and want to be on my way, but there is a bum in front of me, and his scary looking dog(DS), like a big hound. He is also out of his mind, he is talking to himself or people that are not there. I try to avoid him. Then I decide that I want to go back to the place, but he is in front of the entrance. The place is now at the corner of a building and there are two entrances. That does not make it easy for me to enter. This is a favourite place for bums who are everywhere and so are their dogs. The dogs try to enter the place and the bums are inside. I finally manage to get in. I notice lots of rucksacks on the floor. My own rucksack feels suddenly very heavy and I open it. Inside of it is another red rucksack. [Crazy, bit just a bit].
As I am leaving the place a bum woman DC starts talking to me and I pretend I am one of them.

I am going home, walking down the street. I pass some place where they sell food so I decide to buy some. The place is like Indian food, but is not Indian at all. Some kind of really exotic stuff I really can’t describe, like green looking pasta, and some stuff that is half-cooked. The DC that works there comes at me, he has dark skin but is not Indian I have no idea where he is from. I ask him what kind of meat that is and stare at one of the products he is selling. He says it’s buffalo.

Dream3: I am in a phone booth and I am looking at an advertisement of Heinz tomato soup. In the ad this guy tells the story of how this soup has changed his life or something of the kind. I look at the name of the guy, it is my friend’s name. [who really loves that soup by the way]. I find the ad very funny. I am in a room and am talking to the friend “So, you took part in the ad, huh?”. He confirms, and then complains that the room smells unpleasantly, and that he can’t sleep there. I am trying to find ways to bring some fresh air in.

Dream4 [Fragment]: I am on the level of the first floor and look down to see two DS casually lying on the ground. The guy has shoulder –length blonde hair and perhaps a leather jacket, and there is a girl lying next to him. They look like they enjoy living like hippies, all relaxed and stuff. Suddenly, my boot slips away from my foot and starts falling. I yell at them to watch out, but it hits the guy. I begin to apologize but he doesn’t seem to mind the boot falling on him at all. Then, wearing socks, I try to step on some kind of metal ladder to come down and get my boot back.

Despite my increased motivation to LD, the recent two weeks have not delivered to my perhaps unrealistic expectations, so I decided it’s time to analyze what has been happening.

Negatives:
- Sleep schedule disruptions: unfortunately guest stay-over during the weekends (on bf’s initiative) means having exhilarating conversations up to 2 am, then listening to bed preparations, and I fall asleep at 4-5 am. Obviously, this makes it harder to wake up early, and go to bed early, and this is spiralling into the week.
- Increased sugar intake: I have been very tired last couple of days, mostly like because of the above reasons, but I’m thinking that eating some ultra sweet desserts before bed in the last few evenings has contributed to this. Don’t usually consume that much sugar and this dehydrates and exhausts me.
- Reduced physical activity: have not touched dumbbells/jogging, etc., really don’t feel like moving at all! I probably should go back to exercising, this does help my sleep and improves my mood. Just do it!

Positives:
-RCs: after registering at DV, I have been doing a nice amount of RCs, including starting the day with a RC
-DJ: I keep the tablet near my bed, so it’s pretty fast & easy to jot down any dreams
-Sleep recall: I have been writing down dreams every day, even if it’s just fragments, and that helps me remember more
-Just let it be: I try to have a positive attitude, perhaps my body is tired and needs more sleep, so I just let myself recharge, confident that things will eventually align
-Dream Yoga: as mentioned before I was conducting the experiment, having to fall asleep, while concentrating on a white letter ”a” on the area below navel for seven days in a row. That helps me fall asleep faster, plus usually helps with LDs, so I think I will try to incorporate it into my every night routine.

19 March Dream Fragments

As mentioned, was really exhausted last few days, so I slept like a log, didn’t even wake up to go to toilet.  After waking up still tired as hell, I couldn’t remember anything. I was beginning to get rather pissed off, but did a RC anyways. I also repeated my DS – there are lots them. If not anything else, I catch the feeling that I dreamt 3 DS, I sit on the sofa and try to concentrate (got interrupted by a phone call and conversation in the process).

Dream1 [Fragment]: I am at my grandma’s apartment(DS). She is also there and plans on going to the city center with the tram. I tell her that she will be really uncomfortable in the tram, taking into consideration the way she is dressed. She wears a green sweater, similar to one I had but never wore in the past, and she has a semi-transparent red-orange blouse from a lighter material over the sweater, so basically these are reverse and I tell her that she needs to change, so that she is more flexible in the public transportation. [there was more I can’t remember]

Dream2: I am in my first school (DS) and a schoolmate (DS) from there tells me he wants to find our teacher from second grade. We go into one of the classrooms (I am always amazed IRL at how accurately I remember my schools in dreams!), looking for our teacher. She is behind the teacher desk, her hair has greyed, she behaves like a puppet. I tell her that my schoolmate was looking for her and wants to send his regards to her. While I am saying this, she behaves like a robot, doesn’t even look at me, but continues writing down on some document, which she signs, and perhaps tries to pass to me. We leave the room and I continue in the corridor, towards the school gym. In the corridor are two girls from my high school (DS). They are happy to see each other, talking to each other. I remember during the dream that they are good friends. I continue towards the gym and see some more girls from high school. A narrator’s voice is telling me something about the two girls, how the mood of the one was actually influencing the behaviour of the other all the time, or something like this.

Dream 3 [DS recall only] – I am sure that I dreamt the guy from high school, that I called main DC in the previous DJ post…

Experiment night 3/7
Experiment: falling asleep while imagining a white letter “a” on area below navel (from dream yoga book). Usual effects for me – increased dream vividness and a greater chance of LD

This evening: somewhat hard to concentrate on the white “a”, some trouble falling asleep after a rather heavy meal. Nevertheless, the first dream was quite strong and detailed, perhaps about 5 hrs after sleep onset.

Dream 1: I was in what looked similar to my grandmother’s building, and it turns out this very important for me irl person, a main DC now lives. I am going up and down the stairs, in the hope that I will finally meet him along the way, but he is not there. I leave the building, standing on the stairs that lead outside, looking at a person that is walking down the street. At first I don’t recognize him, he is wearing a white hat or strange blouse, but then I finally see that it is the DCs I was waiting for. As if this were a real life situation, I try to hide my excitement of seeing him (haven’t seen him for 12 years irl) my eyes shyly looking to my left, then allowing myself to smile and going to greet him. He is being polite, greets me, and says that he hasn’t seen me for a year. “Well, it’s because I don’t live here anymore”, I reply. He makes some remarks about different countries which make no sense at all, I correct him with my knowledge, which by the way is also wrong. Then, the conversation seems to be over for him and he likes to continue on his way. “Wait, why don’t you tell me what you have been up to these days”? I really don’t wanna let him go. I pat him on the cheek the way I do with my bf. That is really strange and embarrasses me, I begin to apologise myself, and then, I do it again! I tell him that I pat my bf the same way, he reacts in some strange way, and his face starts to distort and now he has some facial features similar to my bf. I am quite worried about what he thinks about me in this dream and apologize for my weirdness again and try to change the subject. [end]

8:30 Our neighbours wake me up. I write down this dream and I decide I will try to WILD at 8:50. First WILD attempt ever. Initially, I was too alert, a lot of thoughts in my head, then I finally manage to relax with some nice thoughts. I wake up at 10:35 - WILD fail. I remember a dream but decide against writing it down because that will wake me up too much. I try DEILD. DEILD fail. I continue sleeping. BF is already up, walking around.

12:30 – I finally wake up, disappointed, and I have no recall of any dreams whatsoever. I isolate myself with my notes and want to remember. Nothing. Did I dream about a school? Yes! Finally, some fragments begin to emerge:

Dream2: This was the one immediately after the WILD attempt. It was the first day of school for the year and I am in my high school (DS). My mom is with me and I don’t like that. I try to send her away, telling her that I am going to class. She leaves the building. I have other plans too and leave the building, looking for someone familiar outside. There are fewer people than I expect. Some guys are playing, throwing a tennis ball that lands in my hands, I awkwardly toss it back, having trouble controlling my movement, it goes in the wrong direction, but they manage to catch it. I wake and know that I have failed the WILD.

Dream3: [Fragment]After watching some factories, I hear my friend DC from school (DS) tell me some arguments about China. He says that they had a country only for 80 years or something like that. He was discussing the development. I told him that he is wrong, and there had been China, for some 5000 years, though not in its present form. Tribes and clans that have come together and apart over time. I tell him that some 3000 years BC the Chinese were already highly advanced, and I refer to a pottery that exists irl (I saw on wiki December 2011), that he can check online if he doesn’t believe me. I feel guilty for arguing with such a fervor with him…

Dream4: There is some kind of international festival, where young girls wear national traditional dresses. I am looking around, and become part of an “active audience”, which is part of the set. There is a cupboard with some objects that faces the stage, rather than the audience. This is where I stand. I start messing with the objects that are placed on the cupboard. There is a miniature watch, which literally falls apart in my hands. I try to fix it, but small parts keep falling to places that I can’t even reach. I try making the watch or whatever it is stay in one place, then I hide it somewhere at the back. I look at the objects on the cupboard, I made such a mess there, I feel embarrassed, hoping that no one will notice and that this does not influence the play in any negative way. A DC woman with authority comes and looks at the mess. She doesn’t notice anything out of order and I feel relieved. She is more concerned with finding some suspicious individuals, a renaissance picture and a news article is presented to me. It tells briefly the story of three pirates, a man and two women, one of them, I identify as myself. The DC woman tells me that these are dangerous and it is possible that they are around. I become worried that she might discover my true identity, but luckily she doesn’t. The performance is about to begin. Now it is more like a theatre act than a dancing performance. I make remarks that it isn’t the plot? that people are here to follow, but rather the performance and play of actors. That’s what it is all about.

Dream5: I was talking to a DC real estate agent. He looked at the nearby river and found it really disgusting. He said that he would never live near a place like that. I agreed with him and told him that I felt sick from the river. I would rather live somewhere high up the mountains. I looked and there was a green-yellow hill with some houses on it. Some misty clouds were over the hill. I would rather live there, I thought. Then I fly/zoom over the hill, looking for a place where we could move to. I reach some kind of city suburbs, with strange buildings, not industrial, but rather they look like some past communist memorials. I remember in the dream that this was exactly the path of the processions from the day before that I saw on dream TV. (fake memory?) In front of the memorial are some Czech enthusiastic young people, they are members of a youth communist organization and seem to be celebrating. I try communicating with them in an eastern European language that I make up at the moment, something like eastern European Esperanto. [end] The movie that my bf is watching in the other room is getting too loud and I finally wake up.

Mood after Dr1 Wake: Sad
Mood after final wake: A bit irritated with myself as no LD, and initially no memory of dreams