Ophelia's Book O' Fun II

Ok. I was floored by this. But first, my routine. I went to bed a little after 1am (bad I know, but I knew I could sleep in). And I had my mind on the lay and egg TOTM for days now. Woke up at 7am for the kids, then it took me at least an hour to get back to sleep. I woke up again, then fell asleep again. As I did, I thought about that egg..

I drifted off, and was suddenly aware that I was at work, in the PFDS department. I saw a woman walk up to me, and it hit me that I had just fallen asleep like 2 seconds ago. (note: This is happening to me more and more lately. Instead of WILDing seamlessly from awake to lucid dream, I'm losing my awareness for a few seconds, while the dream forms itself, then I quickly realize that I was just falling asleep in my bed a few seconds ago. No vibrations or HH that I'm aware of. Just a super quick DILD. No complaints.)

Anyway, I fell the dream slip a little upon awareness, so I just focus on the woman coming up to me which helps. The lay an egg task bursts into my mind, so I ask her point blank, "Hey, wanna watch me lay an egg?" She stops and says, "Ok..?" I pull my pants down just to my knees and squat. I push but not too hard (some of you members brought up the accident thing and apparently it crept into my dream, spanks a heap!).

But then I suddenly woke up (or so I thought). I was lying on the bed on my side, facing Danny, and I felt my pants fill up with something warm. Oh shit. I said "Oh no, I just tried the egg task and I think I crapped myself!" I told Danny. He laughed and said he didn't even want to know. I felt so embarrassed, but at the same time, it didn't really feel like poop in my pants. More like, wadded up cloth. So I reached down the back of my pants and felt what seemed to be some wadded up material. I pulled it out and it was a purple t-shirt with Disney characters on the front, dressed in Halloween costumes. At this moment, I believed that I had somehow carried something from my dream into reality. Danny asked me what the hell it was. I just said forget it and tossed the shirt onto the floor, feeling really confused. But then he got up and took it, and when I asked what he did with it, he said he threw it "over the ledge." Ledge, what ledge? Suddenly he was a black man, WEARING the shirt I had just laid. And our bed was suddenly a table with weird food all over it, that I was furiously trying to sort through. All this confusion finally reached a hilt and I questioned my reality.

I'm still fucking dreaming. I pooped a shirt but it was still in the dream! I looked at black Danny, and the second basic task popped into my head:

Me: Hey, I'm dreaming and you're a character in my-
Him: SHUT UP!!!!!
Me: Heh, ok you're a dream character and this is MY-
Him: No YOU'RE A DREAM CHARACTER!!!!!!
Me: No, YOU are a character in MY dream dumbass
Him: *pinches the spot where his nose meets his forehead, as if he has a horrible headache*
Me: Careful, this is where my DCs' heads usually explode. *I makes gesture with my hands of an exploding head*
Him: *jolts in surprise, but head doesn't explode*
Me: Hehee, keep the shirt*

Ok there's more, stay with me folks. I walked away, and got to this "ledge", which was an open stairwell like in a mall. As I was just about to descend, a few guys were coming up the stairs. The one in front looked like a young Baldwin - extremely delicious. The two behind him said something to the effect of "Yeah, he's new, and is the guy in charge now." I just grabbed his shirt and pulled him into a kiss. I could tell he was inexperienced, which just made him hotter. We were making out hard, and it was like the rest of the dream environment was gone except for him. He just seemed so hungry for this, which was such a huge turn on.

Spoiler for WARNING: sexually explicit:

It wasn't long before I unbuttoned his pants, ripped my own off, and began banging him on the stairs. The kissing was incredible, incredible incredible... I couldn't get enough! In a few moments, we were on soft, silky grass outside, sparking in the sun. But I was getting really really bored wtf! So I asked him if he wanted to turn over and try it another way. So he turned over on his belly and I switched to a dude. But he vanished. This ticked me off because I was a dude, and pretty hard too. So I grabbed the first DC near me, who was a really pretty blonde woman with long curly hair. I turned her over and starting doing her, but again... nothing. I felt nothing. I got up and started wandering around, remarking on how this dream was pretty long for a lucid. I didn't think about any more goals, I just wanted to wake up.

Spoiler for WARNING: sexually explicit:

So I did.

* I didn't really say "Keep the shirt" but I wish I had! I thought it added to the humor.