Snacks From the Butler's Pantry

I haven't posted many dreams lately, because I've been dedicating all my recent lucid dreams to meditating and seeking "the void." I have a lot of stress lately, and meditating while lucid is INCREDIBLE for relaxing and getting back to my true self. Unfortunately, these dreams can't really be written in any interesting way, so I haven't updated in a while. That being said, this next dream slipped through due to... hormones... so I guess I'll post it.

I wake up from a dream about a huge pool party at the Playboy Mansion, but I don't yet open my eyes. Did I set my alarm? Am I late for work? What time is it? As I consider opening my eyes to check the time, I start to see a clock form before me in my mind's eye. The scene develops into a light dream where I walk around my house, checking the time on every clock. I can still feel my body, back in bed. Somehow, I convince myself that I can check the time by comparing every dream-clock in my house. They all say the same thing, 10:30 am. There is no way this is correct.

I realize I'm really close to a lucid dream. The scene around me is very vivid, but I am still completely aware of my body back in bed. I bring my hands up in front of my face, opening and closing my fists and counting my fingers. While I do this, I can feel my real hands in bed doing the same thing. I don't have a full body in the dream, only what I can see of my hands in front of my face. I hold my fists out like superman, and fly slowly out my front door. Out in the sunlight, the dream feels much more stable. I can now feel my feet on the concrete, as I walk down the driveway of my old childhood home. Like a retard, I am still holding my hands out in front of me like superman. They look hyper-real, and I can see every pore and hair on my skin, crisp and clear.

I am still slightly aware of my body lying in bed, and feel crazy horny. The combination of my raging morning-wood and the memories of the playboy pool party are too much. It does not take me long to decide what I want to do. I walk down the street yelling out, "Ladies, ladies, come on out of your houses." In response to my command, people start pouring out of every house on the street. They are all my old friends from when I was a kid in this neighborhood. They are all exactly as I remember them, and are either kids or parents. I continue down the street, yelling for people to come out of their houses, looking for anyone I might want to have sex with. As I round the corner, I see my super hot friend walking down her driveway. She is dressed strangely, but looks great. She is wearing a long, tight purple dress made of denim held closed in the front by a line of large metal buttons.

I meet her halfway down the driveway, and don't even wait to take her inside. We start making out, and I toss her on her back on the front lawn. She hikes her dress up around her waist, while I make my way up her legs with 1,000,000 kisses. She lifts her legs in the air to slip her panties off, like a pinup girl. I look up her body, watching her unbutton the front of her dress. My vision looks strangely distorted for a second, like my perspective is all off. I think for a second, "Yeah, there is a lot of difficult perspective in this scene," as if I were drawing or painting this. I'm afraid I'll lose the dream, and I briefly consider waking myself up to continue this for real with my girlfriend.

Before I can consider it further, I hear a bus pull up. The driver yells at us that we will be late for work, so we climb on board. My friend holds her dress closed with one hand, grabs my hand with the other, and drags me to the back of the bus. Seated in the corner, I keep one hand inside her open dress while the bus driver takes us on a wild ride. The driver is Wallace Shawn from Princess Bride. He narrates the whole trip as he swerves dangerously around the streets, "Woops, that was a stop sign! Look out for the puppy!" I ignore his antics, as my friend slides over to my lap. She reaches back to unzip my fly, then wiggles herself down onto me. It feels so incredible, I nearly wake up. I know I don't have a lot of time until my alarm goes off, so I start going to town on her. Her dress falls open as she leans back to lay her head against my neck. People on the bus keep glancing back at us, getting a great view of her naked body spread out on top of me.

Just as we are finishing up, the bus driver yells at us, telling us we are stopping for lunch. We quickly put ourselves together, and jump off the bus. We are at a small roadside deli. Inside, I see someone from our bus arguing with the cashier. He has buckets full of sodas, and a stack of notecards with everyone's sandwich orders. He bosses me around, trying to get me to order the sandwiches. I tell him, "I've got problems of my own, figure it out." The cashier grabs the notecards, and sends us outside.

This guy keeps yelling at me. I ignore him, and look around at the incredible cityscape that has appeared, where there used to be only empty road. I eventually tell him, "What are you stressed out about? This is all just a dream." To prove it, I hold my hands in front of me, thinking I'll create a small ball of fire to impress him. Nothing appears, except for a small wavy translucent sphere. This is enough to make this asshole stop talking, and look quizzically at me. I try again, and this time I see the air get all wavy and distorted, like heat coming off asphalt on a summer day. Suddenly, the air in front of me explodes into a huge fireball in the shape of a bird. Everyone is knocked to the ground. My whole body is on fire, but I feel no pain. Flames stretch out from my shoulders like huge fiery wings. I look around, flapping my wings slowly, and listening to the heat crackle like a blowtorch. My friend walks out of the deli, her eyes glowing orange with flames, and her own pair of fiery wings trailing behind her. She looks at me with her beautiful fiery eyes, and her wings stretch forward to touch mine. We wrap our wings around each other in a cocoon of dancing flames.

Suddenly, I remember I might not have set my alarm. I want to stay, but I wake myself up so I won't be late for work. Turns out I still had 10 minutes, but that just gave me more time to write this all up.