rshort1202

I’m at work when a regular comes up to the counter to check out. He talks with me, asking if/when his orders will be in. I nicely tell him not yet, thinking it’s way too early in the day/too soon after he ordered them to be asking. He then gestures at the countertop and asks about the ‘wall’ that we’re going to be putting up. I think about the old sneeze guards, but don’t really think that’s what he’s getting at. I nicely tell him I have no idea.

Something about watching Apollo for a night. I’m with Melissa and walking over to Crystal’s house (it seems close to where we live). We enter the house and it seems fairly large. It seems dim but moonlit. I think we have Stella with us and we’re going to stay here or bring Apollo over to our place.



I’m outside in a place that looks similar to Frenchman’s. With Stella, I’m jogging down a gray asphalt path. It’s a pretty steep downhill and continues in a straight line. We pass more and more cars and people the further we go. It levels off now and we turn to go back uphill, which already feels harder.

I’m with Melissa and taking Stella to a pool. It feels like the pool at our complex but a little different. It seems we’re approaching it the same way as we really would, but there is no fence. Right away I notice two guys (one in the regular at work, Blair) and their black and white border collie in the water. Stella doesn’t react to it. Now I feel alone or just separate from them. In the pool, which looks like a long oval with a skinny section in the middle that also seems to be a hot tub, I swim and submerge myself. Someone? asks if I’m doing it to get away from everyone. I think to myself that she’s not entirely wrong.

(fragment) I’m sleeping in a room with Melissa. It’s unfamiliar and the bed feels like it’s in an alcove. I wake up and feel like we have fans on and the AC on a very low temperature, so I ask if we can turn it off.

*I’m sure this is from sleeping in a much colder temperature than we have been, especially with the covers coming off of me at times.

Phil Lesh is showing me a round trip route on a map. The route is marked in red or yellow and passes through what looks like Idaho, Montana, and Wyoming (possibly including Colorado and Utah). I think it sounds like a fun trip and really consider driving it. He says there are two options through the state at the end - I see the line snaking up the full color topographical map. He says the one way is just small towns and Smith’s (the store) and the other is scenery. His tone makes the small towns sound unpleasant and I think I’d want to go the way with the scenery, envisioning both.

I’m with either Julia or Jessica or both in some unfamiliar room. It seems more like a motel than a house. Someone (the maintenance guy that lives in the building next to us) starts coming over and I know he’s going to get in, in a threatening way. I go around to lock all the doors (the locks look like that on the side door at work). He’s here now and saying something threatening as he tries to force open the locked handle. I watch it bend from the force. He’s inside this room now, facing Jessica and Julia, me facing his back. I watch as he shoots at something (not them) with a tiny black pistol. I think I now run to get a gun, shooting him when I return. He lies face down and I kneel on top to restrain his arms, as he’s still struggling. I call out for them to get a gun (I guess I’m not aware that I just had one) so I can finish it. It takes a while, but I think they finally do. I think I shoot him in the head, looking down at the resulting carnage. His body is moved now and I see indentations in the carpet and the spherical silver bullets about the circumference of a quarter within.

*I can’t recall many emotions during the last part of this dream. It seems that what I was doing did not feel wrong, though it’s obviously disturbing to write down now.

I’m in a large house on the ocean shore. It is Dad’s birthday, but Makayla and I jokingly run away from him when he shows up. He takes it personally and the look on his face says so. I’m going to try to find him a book here to make up for it. This room looks like a large foyer, books lining the top of every wall on a high shelf. They all look like Franklin Library or similar. Some are more ornate than I’ve ever seen. There are a couple of thick Dostoevskys, the binding looking like his portrait in stained glass. I think about getting these for myself. I know that Dad wants [a certain title] that has to do with maritime, so I search for it. I do find the title, but it’s combined in one volume with The Red and the Black by Stendhal. I open it to find it’s in a weird font that is pre highlighted, I think each character in a different color. I don’t like it. I find one more pre highlighted and spiral bound. Again, I don’t like it. Al shows up now and offers to help. Looking to the shelves, I tell her I’ve looked through every single title. She hands me a book on the old west as a recommendation. I flip through it and see some familiar figures in the illustrations/photographs, such as Judy Garland as Dorothy. Appreciative, I tell her I will take this one. Now, through a window or open door I see Dad walking along the beach with a beer bottle in hand and talking to himself. It is dark out. He’s sad about us abandoning him and, staggering and slurring, says he is going to see [someone]. I feel really bad about this. Now, Julia is here and it feels late at night. She says something and I say “these shrooms are starting to feel good” (I must’ve taken them a bit ago). I go into a room here, hers?, that has a nicely made bed with a fuzzy gray color theme. The rest of the room has the same aesthetic.

*Melissa asked last night what I’m getting Dad for Father’s Day and I told her I didn’t know. She then brought up Carlos’ birthday. I commented on the Franklin Library copy of Ulysses I’m reading and grabbed a Franklin Library copy of Crime and Punishment at work. The things in brackets are specific details present in the dream that I’ve since forgotten.

I’m walking Stella somewhere outside, a fairly wide dirt path, when I pass an older man with his dog, what looks like a retriever. Stella does well with being able to pass the dog without meeting it. There is a culvert off to the side, maybe 8+ feet long. It’s almost filled completely with running water and Stella decides to get into it. In an instant, she’s completely submerged and I can only feel by the pull of the long leash how far into it she is. I initially remain calm, hoping I’ll be able to remain calm, hoping I’ll be able to hold onto the leash until I can just run and grab her on the other side. This then does not feel possible, so I call for help from Dad who is now here. Stella is somehow still being swept down this stream that only seems a few inches deep. It is rocky as well and feels like it’s underground, as I run to catch up with her. With all of my might, I eventually do.



I’m going into a Dead and Company concert with Melissa. The indoor venue seems like something comparable in size to the Reno Events Center. There’s a simple white folding table in the foyer and some hassle with the middle aged white man in getting our tickets. I succeed in getting them and we go in. It’s close to empty, so we hurry toward the front. There’s no GA, only seats. When I ask, Melissa says she doesn’t care where we sit, which kind of irritates me. At first we go up too high, so we try lower. There are now some people here and we have to squeeze by them in their seats. The band is on the stage now, all unfamiliar except for Bob Weir, the rest seeming much younger. I notice the drummer playing but don’t hear any music. Bob is wearing a black cloth face mask which he removes and gives to one of the younger band members to wear. This makes no sense to me but I try to let it go.

I’m with Makayla outside of what looks like my apartment. I have taken some acid. Makayla must know this, because she asks if I’m feeling high. Walking up the stairs I start to feel spacey, so I admit it and tell her yes. Sensations feel amplified and I feel euphoric and ready to laugh at anything. Inside now, my whole visual field instantly shifts to look like a static overlay on the scene. It is fairly intense, putting me on edge a bit.

I’m at a concert venue. It is full of people but I don’t think I currently hear any music. I seem to be off to the side of the stage in what feels like a dugout. The crowd starts a circle pit with the inner group moving in one direction and the outer group in the other. At this point, I know it’s a Grateful Dead concert, so this feels very out of place. I see the rest of the crowd sitting on the grass facing the stage and I end up over there. It’s a sea of faded tie dye and friendly faces. I end up next to a girl near my age with two others. We start talking and I mention that it’s my first show. She gleefully exclaims this to those around. In my mind, the year is 1981 and the show is more than halfway over (though it’s fully light out). Thinking of songs I’d like to hear, Morning Dew and Black Muddy River come to mind.
*A movie came on at Blind Dog last night and my guess was that it was filmed around ‘81 due to the hair and clothes styles.



I’m at an empty park with a large play structure. Mark approaches, so I say something like ‘You have something in, I take it.’ He says yes as I walk up to a section of the equipment to grab it for him (I don’t notice anywhere with books or even a shelf). Now we are in what looks like an almost empty living room. Zoe and Nicola are here, each at a computer. Mark is going to order some more; I pull up Amazon on a computer as he sits behind me. The first one comes out to more than $40, to which he gruffly says no. He seems a little less friendly than usual and is wearing darker clothes and a ballcap. I notice and get frustrated with how dim it is in here, so I go to open these blinds just like the ones in our apartment. I twist the rod and every blind looks like it’s starting to split.

I am with Julia and maybe some others. We’re walking along a rocky creek bed. The rocks are dark gray, smooth, and large enough to create a few feet of space between us and the water below. I end up climbing down to the water. Julia reacts as if I shouldn’t be doing this, but I think it’s fine. I continue further, eventually submerging and then surfacing in a large, circular pool. The walls seem to be stone, though possibly with windows around towards the top, like a cross between a natural space and an aquarium. There are several sea animals swimming in here with me. Jon is here also and I think I jump into the water once or twice.



I am walking outside when I pass by someone’s yard. The path seems to go right next to the chain link fence. The yard is fairly large and at a slight incline. There’s a large rock right by the fence; I climb up onto it. There are two dogs here and I am impressed as one climbs onto the steep side of the rock. I’m not sure if the dogs are coming over to be protective, but I end up playing with them. A younger middle aged lesbian couple come out of the house through its back door and start to apologize for the dogs, but I don’t mind at all. I throw a ball for the dogs. I also sense the couple is tired and trying to go to bed.

I’m in either a pool or hot tub with Melissa. According to its circular shape and small size, it’s a hot tub - I just can’t tell if the water’s hot or not. There are also no jets running. It seems like this hot tub is in a slight alcove and partially covered by a ceiling. We’re facing the rest of the patio; it’s empty save for one younger, blond woman. A teenaged looking girl comes over and asks if we’ll need towels. She seems behind schedule and like she’s doing the bare minimum. Melissa and I glance at each other and tell her no. She comes back in a moment with a roll of paper towels and sets them on the water. I hesitate and then grab them out. Melissa is now sitting close to me in the water and I’m touching her between her legs, under the bathing suit. She is fine with it until I start to go inside, after which she says ‘please stop.’



I’m outside somewhere with Julia and Jessica. The area looks maybe like an empty parking lot beside a park. The trees are flourishing and casting solid shadows to contrast with the golden sunlight. They’ve set up some games, I think as an event for Grassroots. The only one who shows up is a very genial black man and his son (around 7 years old?). One of these games involves a tiny ‘hoop’. I’ve taken it in my hand and inverted it. It feels more like a paper cup and now I worry about getting it back on right. Another looks like a tank on four wheels that can be towed. It’s filled with what looks like different colored cotton balls. I think the ‘hoop’ goes on top and then the object is to drop a marble/jelly bean? and follow it down. The little boy is now playing with multiple soccer balls.

I’m at what looks like Basecamp with someone else - Makayla? This space seems a little more open and the floors look harder than the usual padding. I’m in my street shoes but I still step up to try a problem. The holds are blue, the small one after the starting hold quite a ways away. I attempt it not expecting to get far at all and end up sticking the first move. I do lose my grip and swing off after holding it for a few seconds.

I’m at some club (I don’t ever see its name, but I think it’s One Up). I’m with some others, but I’m not sure who. At the entrance I give the bouncer my ID, though it seems like he wasn’t going to ask for it. We are the only ones in here. The space is small and each wall is an overwhelming LCD display of moving neon, psychedelic patterns. There is talk of going to get high and I think I’ll join, imagining how the walls will look. Outside now, it looks like a bland strip mall and I see someone familiar. He is moving some doors. I go over to help him, screwing two doors together and screwing the bottom of the door? After I finish, I realize I’ve done it backwards, so I tell him I’ll have to start over. It seems like he is waiting on me.

I’m outside somewhere, maybe an apartment complex. I have Stella with me and notice a couple with a dog approaching. It looks like a black border collie and I recognize it as a dog Stella has seen several times but hasn’t been able to meet. Stella notices the dog, but the couple keeps approaching. The man, shirtless and fit, wearing sunglasses and a stoic expression, asks if he can ask me something. I say yes and then ask if our dogs can meet because they’re so close right now and haven’t gotten to meet. He amicably says yes and I explain that she gets frustrated when she’s on leash and can’t meet other dogs. Their dog, what now looks like a retriever, sits by me and playfully chews on my fingers. I clearly feel its sharp little teeth. Stella is very close but is largely ignoring the dog. Now one of them jumps to his back and he catches it with his hands behind his back. He never asks me what he was going to.



I’m walking into a building, a restaurant or something similar. I’m also a woman or dressed as one. I have on a light blonde wig that is not very convincing. I think I also have women’s clothes on. There is attention on me as I walk through to the restroom; I’m aware that I don’t fully look like a woman and stand out to judgmental people but don’t really care. I walk with confidence. There’s a small 90 degree hallway into the restroom, the floor of which is very cluttered with what looks like green foam blocks. They’re hard to get around and I think of what a hazard/liability they are. In the restroom now, the urinals are taken and 2-3 people are waiting. (I went into the men’s, slightly unsure, because I think I still have a penis). I notice two stereotypical straight white men who I know are going to throw a fit about me being in here.