Schmaven's Dream Journal of Randomness

I hear some noises in the kitchen and walk over there. I see a young lady throwing lettuce everywhere. Fist fulls at a time. Reaching deep into the bags of lettuce and giving it a full strength pitch. Sometimes at a salad bowl, other times, well, I'm not really sure what she is aiming for. Lettuce covers just about everything now, all over the counter top and floor, and even filling the salad bowl amazingly. I think I see some shredded carrots fly through the air at one point.

I wake up thinking, "I should eat more salads"
And then I did.

With a visual migraine, I lay in bed watching the pretty colors swirl around in fractal patterns of beautiful blues, reds, and yellow geometric shapes that grow and pulse with bright color. Suddenly I'm in a dream and am trying to use metal chop sticks on an electrical outlet... I get electrocuted of course and wake up.

Working at some new job involving answering the phones and a square table with a few people standing around it. We are putting parts together sometimes, answering phones other times. I decide not to wear the uniform - some tan shirt with a collar. There are some other people out of uniform also. We get to talking a bit, but don't get along. Then I find out that they are the highest corporate bosses in the whole company, and they are upset about me not being in uniform! I tell my coworker if he thinks it'd make a difference to get in uniform. He's not sure. I tell him to wait here and I'll be right back then take off sprinting to my locker. I'm not sure what my locker combination is. I think it's 27, 3, 33 or something with a 17 or a 29 in it. I manage to get it right, and open the locker. Inside, no uniform. It must be in my other locker... I leave the lean-two locker room and run across a field at night to another small lean-two with lockers inside behind a small counter / cafe / bar where someone is serving food or drink. This time my locker is not even locked. Inside is the lock, with the combo set to 1337. I leave it inside and grab my shirt. It someone takes my lock, I don't really care, I just keep my work shirt in here. I put it back on and return to my post after what seemed like 20 minutes of trying to get the first locker open.

Sitting in the living room on the couch by the fire, my friend is busy doing something with headphones on. I take my headphones off and they want to eat. I have a few shopping bags with various kinds of chicken and cabbage, but think it'll be too hot to cook it inside, even though frying it is the best. Rather than decide what to do, I pick up my guitar and start learning how to play. I don't remember the chords after 7 years. I make up what I think is the A chord, barring my first finger across the 2nd and 3rd strings of the 4th fret, and playing the 3rd fret of the 5th and 6th strings. I strum with my thumb as a pick, and then see a pick stuck in between the strings near where I'm strumming. Perfect! I use it and play the chord and then the individual notes of the chord to a peaceful rhythm. It sounds awesome. I find a chord diagram and stand up to play so I can see it, but without a guitar strap, I don't yet have the strength to hold the guitar and play it. The B chord is wonky. The diagram indicates that B is just the 1st and 3rd fingers on the 12th fret of the 2nd and 5th strings with the rest open. Seems too far along the neck to be right. Before I can play it, another friend comes in and does a really fast yoga routine right on the wood floor. Looks like a pro. I take in the moves for later reference: Cobra, Downward Dog, and others. Then I go back to playing with the too open because I'm always worried that everything I do is displeasing to others.

I'm driving my mom's car for the first time in a while, and am having a grand old time doing 360s on the snowy road, while avoiding crashing into the other traffic on the road. I turn up a hill to my right and the back end of the car whips around half way, I turn the wheel the other direction, slam it in reverse and put the pedal to the floor, causing the car to do 2 complete spins. I'm heading toward a big snow bank, so I turn the wheel the other way and keep the pedal to the floor. The car starts going back down the hill toward the road. It's really slippery, so I start turning about a hundred feet before the road. Sliding sideways pretty fast now, I keep my foot on the gas and power slide out into the main road. Another car is coming the opposite direction. I do some fancy maneuvering with the steering wheel to get out of the power slide and just barely avoid the oncoming car. Close call there. Now on the main road, I'm just driving normally. Another car comes, but it is really straddling the center line. I move over to avoid it, but it's too far on my side. I spin my car sideways to avoid a head on collision, and just tap the front headlight of the other car with the rear bumper of mine. I pull over into the nearby store to see if the other car is damaged or not. She has already pulled in, and the store owner and her are looking at the car. I get out, turn the car off, and walk up, seeing a bunch of fluid pouring out of the other car. It looks like radiator fluid. At least it's coming out of the radiator, it really looks just like water. The store owner says, "You might want to add some oil or antifreeze to it." The other driver looks at her, gets a really upset look on her face and yells back, "Really?!? Obviously I'll have to add more coolant to it! How could I not?" I notice a pipe has come completely loose. If that pipe could just be welded back on, she'd be good to go. I think about possible repair costs and mechanic labor. Looking at the pipe again, a new pipe might not be that expensive, it's a straight tube going between two fittings. So one pipe, one fitting, and an hour tops to weld it, can't be much more than $200. I'm relieved that it won't be very expensive because I'm broke. Although it's really ironic that I didn't crash at all while messing around, but only when I started to drive safely that something happened...

In a group of people, we are all taken prisoner. Our captors try to get me to give out information to help them capture and kill more people, but I refuse. They threaten to kill me if I don't tell them. I think that's a good reason to die. I get pushed down to the ground, and they threaten me again. I close my eyes and go to my happy place. I hear machine gun fire, and feel bullets ripping through my flesh. My shoulders, arms, legs and torso are all hit repeatedly, and I can tell the bullets pass right through me. I'm in shock. I can't open my eyes. I don't want to open my eyes. My visual awareness starts to swirl together and then get all whispy. Although my eyes are closed, even the glittering blackness begins to fade. Then I see horrible faces all around, like dark gray demons scowling and growling at me with menacing faces. I don't feel that I have a body anymore, just a consciousness. I generate my best mind of Love for all the demons, but it's pretty clear that regardless of what I do, I'm going to a very bad place right now. I pray for help, confident that no matter how late, there's always help to be had if I'm open to it and want it. The demons fade into a dark gray for a bit and then come back. This definitely feels like dying. It also feels like I'm going to hell or something like that, but I'm not terrified. I'm a little bummed out because I don't think I'll like it, but I think it's worth it to help everyone. With what seems like my last moment of this stream of consciousness, I sincerely pray for everyone to attain enlightenment. Suddenly it all seems hilarious. I get a few brief visions of Vajrayogini smiling at me. Then I wake up.

I take a picture of my mom's dog and cat as they are both sitting in the kitchen right next to each other. They both smile and look at the camera. The perfect shot. Funny how both the dog and the cat look alike, and also look like my dad's weird dog he has. My sister wants to see the picture, but when I look at it, they aren't looking at the camera anymore, even though I already took the picture. I look for another picture, but all I have are photos of the Simpsons in real life. Mostly weird ones, like a tiny animated devil sitting on a chair, with Maggie poking her head around the side, and Marge in the background. Or a photo of Mr Herman.

Suddenly I am on an airplane right next to an animated Mr Herman. Apparently he's a really fat guy, I'm not sure where his character comes from. He says, "I'm Mr. Herman!" and suddenly we're both falling from the plane. Now I'm watching us fall, hit the ground, but all cartoon like.

I stand up, the cartoon effect disappears, and there is a big bottle of whiskey in front of me. Kind of like Goldschlager, but with red bits instead of gold. Must be cinnamon flavored... An old friend next to me tells me I should have drank it earlier, but I can still drink it now. It seems like a tasty idea, so I reach for it, but wake up because I can't feel my arm, and my shoulder hurts. Arm =/= shoulder.

...All of this in an unplanned nap on the couch with the cat on me!

I decide to stop in to a place I used to work at. Arriving around 8:30 PM, I am included in an orientation group for new hires. I am a little surprised because I have yet to apply, but I do need a job so I just go with it. We get a tour, and the woman tells us about the company. Only lasting 15 minutes, I decide to go buy some food before the store closed at 9. Out on the floor, I see some old coworkers from CSU, Robert and Alberto. I am completely famished, so I talk with them as I browse for food, mostly looking for fruit. They seem to only be interested in distracting me, and not talking, so they leave. I end up eating a pound of cheese.

Now I see some night crew people starting to arrive before the 9pm shift. I walk to the back room like I work there to see if I can find the night crew manager. I'm wearing a jacket and carrying a bunch of things, too much for comfort. I find my old locker, still with my things in it from 3 months ago, and stuff my sweater and a bag into it. As I hang up my winter coat, I see that I have 2 winter coats of the exact same type. That's strange. It must have been because I ripped the side of it. I don't remember ever having 2 though...

The night crew introduces themselves to me. There are now about 20 people on the crew. Compared to 6 when I was working there. The manager tells me he's called Justin, and then we all just wait around in the break room for the shift to start. Justin lays down on the bench seat and keeps encroaching on my space. I keep moving over until I have to stand up. He goes even further so that his head and upper body are not even on the bench seat anymore. There is a chair I was going to use that he now is using as a pillow. He moves around and it doesn't look comfortable at all. I move the chair out of his way and he looks upset at me. "Well are you using it as a pillow, or is it hurting your neck?" I ask him. He laughs, and everyone gets up for the start of the shift.

I clean up the back room, making to throw out some plastic and recycle some cardboard, but the trash barrel is 30 ft tall. I try to throw it into the barrel, but it's just too high, and the plastic doesn't throw well. Someone starts using an industrial vacuum, but is having trouble with it. I'm not sure they know how. I remember that's the same one we just got when I quit. Now I see that the 30 foot barrel is just several barrels stacked up to clear the floor for vacuuming. I walk to the receiving dock where several people are standing around, getting ready to unload the truck. One guy puts a climbing harness on so he can climb up a 20 ft pallet, and attach ropes to unload it with a crane. That looks like the best job to have! Too bad I quit earlier, now other people are having all the fun. But I seem to be back on the team now, so it's all good.

I've been injured, and somewhat maimed by machinery or something like that, and just stand there, bleeding and in pain. Suddenly a woman comes out of no where and kisses me upside down. With her upside down, floating through the air, her dark brown hair hanging down below (above?) her. As she kisses me (just a peck) I feel some energy pass from her to me, and heal my wounds, eliminate my pain, and also change my color. I got a lot more tan with each little kiss, and could see the color change spread down my arms and hands. I don't recognize this woman yet, but I feel like I know her.

Riding my bicycle along a road, it begins to get steeper and steeper. There are other people also on bicycles who had to stop and walk their bikes. I even see a few cars that are unable to climb the hill. It's so steep, that it's hard to walk up. I'm in a higher gear, but the hill came on so fast that I am unable to downshift as quickly as I would like, and just muscle through it for a few pedal strokes as the bike downshifts. People tell me I can't make it, but I believe I can. My legs feel like they are on fire, as they shake with all my energy going into each pedal stroke. I'm still not in the lowest gear, but I know that if I downshift, I will lose all my momentum and that will be the end of it for me. So I push on, letting my legs burn, shake, and otherwise crank the pedals in each revolution. As the hill gets even steeper, I push even harder - beyond where I thought my maximum limit existed. I even start to gain some speed as the hill gets steeper. It's like my legs are growing stronger the more I push myself. Passing beyond everyone, I feel happy that I didn't give up when no one else believed in me.

I take this dream as encouragement to always believe in myself and give life everything I've got, no matter how things look to others, and even no matter how hopeless things may look to me.

Laying in bed, I'm partially aware of some outdoor scene at CSU, as well as my body laying in bed. I can see both scenes, and know that the outdoor scene is just a dream. I focus on the outdoor scene where my friend is standing far away across a few benches and trees. As I continue to pay attention to the dream, I am suddenly in the dream fully. It feels a bit unstable, like I could wake up at any moment. I call out to my friend, and he responds just like he does while in the waking world. I walk over to him, but he doesn't have a whole lot of other responses in this dream character. I talk to him a bit, and he doesn't answer at all, he just looks at me blankly for a bit and starts to turn away. I know it's a dream, so I decide that maybe his role is just long distance shout-greetings. I walk about 30 feet away and yell out to him again. He responds as usual. That definitely appears to be the case here. I yell out various versions of 'hey! and hello!' and get a great genuine seeming response each time. Just a little weird how repetitive it is.

Bored with his limited responses, I go into a nearby building, which turns into a clothing store. Not interested much in buying clothing, especially not in a dream, I instead try to find some girls to talk to. There are a lot of girls in this store, but they are all ignoring me and walk away as I walk up to them, even as I say 'hello'. I go up to one of them and step in front of her so she has to see me and tell her that her scarf is pretty awesome because it's the best color blue that exists. She smiles, thanks me and turns away. I still know it's a dream, and decide that this must be some sort of belief I have about people that doesn't seem to be helping with anything. If this is indeed a belief I have on some level, I am now determined to get rid of it.

Suddenly, the dream changes completely, and seems completely real. I forget that I'm dreaming. A girl gets on my shoulders and I give her a piggy back ride. I don't know where, I just walk as we talk to each other. She sounds nice, but I have no idea who she is. Eventually, we reach a large room where lot of people are sitting on the floor. I set her down and we both sit on the floor as a video is played on the wall in front of everyone.

Late to meet someone, I am walking quickly down the road. I reach a train crossing just as a train does and have to wait. I walk right up to it, standing a few feet away as it rushes by. Looking down, I see two golden vajras protruding up from the platform. I think that maybe this is a bad idea in case it derails so I step back a bit. As soon as I do, I see one of the train cars sway, and hit a bump, jumping off the track. All the cars behind it are pulled off the tracks as well, and it jack-knifes off the tracks, one of the train cars slides off right where I was standing.

I see another train approaching, but on a parallel track as the first one. It hasn't derailed, but I don't know what it will do when it reaches the first one. It's coming in fast. I don't know if it will be safer to run away the direction it is traveling, or against its direction of travel. If I go against the direction of travel, I'll run into it sooner, but also I'll be upstream of the trouble sooner.

I decide on upstream and quickly run. The second train going 90 mph hits the side of the first derailed train that spilled over to its track, and it is pushed off the tracks as well. Pushed off the opposite side as me, I feel relief from danger. But only until the car that is pushed off the tracks forces the one behind it to bend the other way, where it hits the back of the first train and stops, sending the rest of the train flying off my side of the tracks.

In mid-sprint, I duck, and feel the train fly just inches away from me before it smashes into the ground, dirt flying everywhere like an explosion. I feel a strong continual blast of air as the train continues to rush by, totally filling the entire area I would have been if I ran the opposite direction!

I walk down the tracks to see if anyone got injured or trapped that I might be able to help, but it seems to have just been a freight train and no one else was in its path. Walking down the tracks, I notice a bunch of stairs leading up to the tracks - the only remains from some old industrial buildings that have been dismantled. I don't see much of the foundation, just the inner stairs following the nap of the earth.

I walk up one of the stairs, and notice a few sets of golden 4 pronged vajras built into the tops of the stairs, and in other places of the foundation that just now becomes visible. I feel like there were forces and beings beyond my comprehension that helped me survive this.

One of my friends comes at me, totally distraught over the loss of her friend in the crash. Which is odd, because no one else was there, but I try to find her friend anyway. We find a man who has a 3D map of the entire Ft. C. city, and he gives it to me. Quite a nice map really. My friend realizes that her friend is okay, and we continue on our way. I walk into a building and try to spit out a huge wad of gum. So massive, I don't even know how I got it in my mouth. Other people come in right as I'm trying to do this to brush their teeth. I have my tooth brush with me as well, and they comment that "we're brushing our teeth too!" I get the gum out and throw it away.

A massive airplane sits awaiting takeoff for a trans Atlantic flight. I watch from above as it is hoisted up a few thousand feet onto a tower where it will be launched off of to kickstart its journey. The pilot sits inside, while random people get tours of the plane, and take turns sitting in the co-pilot's cockpit. Then without warning, the tower collapses, and the plane begins falling toward the ground with just the pilot and a random person as co-pilot.

The pilot is really good, and manages to start the engine, and begin to recover before hitting the ground. But as he does so, the other person ejects saying, "sorry, but I'm ejecting now". The pilot yells, "Nooo! don't do it, you don't have to!". The ejection tears loose some essential flight components, and forces the pilot to land immediately. I walk around it, and notice how it is wedged around and on top of a stone public restroom facility. One that is in use too. I take a break and use it as well (very unfriendly people inside, glaring at me), then walk around the building again to look at how stuck the plane is.

I notice a TV monitor where the president is giving a speech about the recent national legalization of marijuana. He says something about everyone getting really high now. Going inside a nearby building, I quote the speech to them, and they laugh. One of my friends tells everyone I'm going crazy and to watch out for what I do next.

A cat walks up to me purring, so I pet it. It walks back and forth, rubbing up against me, continuing to purr as I pet its back and let it sniff my hand. I'm not sure what they are expecting me to do...

I am a floating awareness, following a young buy as he runs from a man and woman. They are chasing him through the exterior stairways on a large ship. As he runs from them, he turns a corner and gets the attention of an officer on the ship who hides him underneath his coat. Quite well hidden actually. His pursuers catch up to the officer, who directs them on their way up the stairs.

I float up to the top, and see through the man's eyes as he looks through thermal imaging goggles at the officer, and sees the boy underneath the coat. They yell out, and begin to run down to get him. The officer quickly puts the boy down and tells him to run.

Now I am in physical form again and there has been a large conflict started between an apparent good force against an apparent evil force. They are using telekinetic weapons, superhuman strength, and guns to kill one another. I don't feel nearly powerful enough to do anything but die in this fight, so I run for my life as I hear some people approaching, and bullets ricochet off a nearby wall.

The ship is now an old Victorian house as I sprint down the hallways and down to the main entrance. Seeing an older woman standing there, I tell her it's not safe - that there are people chasing me and they will probably ask her questions under duress if they find her. I turn to run out the front door, but see many thousands of police officers with guns out front, all standing in a massive array facing the door.

I open the door, and drop my sweater I'm holding onto the ground and immediately put my hands up. They seem uninterested in me, as if they know I'm not a threat to anyone. So I pick up my sweater and walk through their formation to the back, where I look for a spot to sit down and get my bearings. There is not much room with so many police, but I manage to find a small spot up against the fence behind a hill.

As I sit down, my sweater turns into a giant inflatable boat / mattress with 3x 20 ft long air chambers. Other people lean up against it and rummage through my supplies. The closest one to me hold up several boxes of cereal and asks me where my things are. I only have a single box of life cereal and I show it to him.

Behind us is a large hill, and we watch as large Mac trucks drive up and down it, going off jumps, doing flips and 360s. A jeep is with them, and they crash into each other, sending the jeep flying through the air, doing stunts, and landing back on its wheels - neither of the vehicles are damaged at all. I think it's really strange how that can be, and am suddenly driving the jeep!

I am low on gas, so I pull up next to the Mac truck and get out. I have a few spare gas tanks, and think that other guy is probably low on gas too, his bigger truck surely uses more gas than my jeep does. So I begin fueling his truck instead of mine. Then I consider that it might take diesel instead of gas, so I stop. Walking back to my jeep, it is now parked further away, at a gas station pump. Some friends walk with me through the crowd of tall gas station attendants - all dancing and looking very intimidating, but acting harmless. There are 4 of us, so I get into the back of the jeep.

The back of the jeep transforms completely and I am floating above a field. My friend Rob has created a type of emblem for himself out of 4 cubes, and I am told to create my own emblem. It is described to me how the system works, and how by changing the adjacent cubes, others change to match it on the edges. It already makes sense to me, but through their explanations of how to use the system, and what to watch out for, I am confused and end up making a lame little unicorn pony.

Everyone watching me do this starts laughing. No one is even sure how I made a unicorn pony, but that aside, it's the lamest thing they've ever heard of. A little frustrated, I poke at it, making random finger gestures, and manage to add armor to it, and laser cannons, rocket launchers, and a disposable tail like a lizard. I continue to poke at it, and the armor gets upgraded each time until it is quite a badass unicorn pony. A pony even Satan himself would think twice before messing with him. That silenced the critics!

The pony stands there, covered in thick spiky armor - charred black, and with no gaps between it. Most parts of the armor are actually on fire, and give the pony a frightening aura of flames and smoke. Protruding from each of the shoulders are some sort of laser cannon that looks like its from 3000 years in the future. The unicorn horn has been modified into a serrated spike of death, coated in metal and adorned with extra spikes. On its back is some sort of rocket launcher or mortar with a laser guidance system.

Pulling trees out of the ground, I magically turn them into boards and make a huge pile of them several hundred feet behind me. I plan to build a bunch of things, so I need lots of them. Still leaving some trees in the forest, I quickly gather more than I need just in case I get carried away with construction. Just moving my awareness around, I don't have a visible body, but still manage to physically interact with the world, and rip trees out of the ground just fine. It's easy to float to and fro as I do this.