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I've had a heavy cold for a week , so my dreams have been less than worthless! Heres my best one from the last few days

I step out my house with a pal, He's to my right though I never look at him. My house is nothing like my house IRL of course and it opens out ont parkland. We have a wee walk and one of my best pals appears from some trees with a dodgy looking lad dressed inn brown and smoking a fag. They have a wee brown dog. We now have a wee white dog. The dogs start playing and the brown one finds a tiny wee bone from somewhere and gives our dog it, which is nice. I look back at my house, its about 50ft away and the door is wide open. I go back to close it. My uncle is there, we have a disagreement and he says the 'F' word rather a lot, and so do I , to be fair. He then gets up and starts chasing me with a view to giving me a good kicking I believe. Theres an odd close up of a big book for some reason and I wake up saying out loud 'Leave me alone!!!'

The end

Oh dear...

(non lucid)

So I'm sitting on a potty in a public toilet in a wee village called Edzell. I do a number two (or jobby) but there is an issue (don't know what now) I wait for the attendant. He comes in. He's a wee man in his fifties, is wearing a blue boiler suit and is a bit rough looking. He tells me he'll get round to me soon. He moves to the left of me, I turn and see him mucking aboot with some purple hand cleaner and a bunch of flowers. Theres a gap and then I'm carrying my jobby laden potty through a churchyard. There is what is apparently a toilet in the corner. However, it was a skip. It had wee letterbox holes around the top of it. Theres a bench to the right. A lad I know from years ago is sitting there with a pair of comedy glasses. I start singing -
'I'm going to put my jobby in the toilet'...
My friend looks at me, he's not happy, this is not the place for fun. I attempt to pour the jobby from the potty into the wee holes. However (I'm very sorry...) its very viscous and it takes many attempts to get it to slide out. However, eventually I succeed and my hands are clean.....

Also a fragment about sticking my hand in my ear and pulling out a huge solid piece of earwax. It was about two inches long. I showed it to someone, they seemed vaguely interested.

One non lucid of note

Driving in the car. My wife and son were there but I dont recall actually seeing them. I noticed in a field to the right a bunch of wee furry animals prowling about. I slowed down the car and said to y wife 'What the hell are they?' She didn't see them and I was getting annoyed. One walked across my filed of view about ten feet from the car. It was a reddish brown colour with some sort of detail above its eye. It had a frown on its face and walked in a slightly hyena like manner. My wife still didn't see them or else wasn't interested, so I drove on. All of a sudden a bear appeared from the right hand side and was running in front of the car. My wife said very matter of factly to my son 'Look, a bear' Neither of the could particularly care less. The bear now was actually an exact copy of one form the Elder Scrools game 'Skyrim' - although I only realise that now of course...

TV dream - some guy had a sackful of foxes, they were all about and inch high, he had dozens.

Signing up to a new gamebook forum, I was browsing it, it had 3000 members. The dream then shifted to a TV style dream where a fat black man and a woman were arguing about the mechanics of a particular gamebook. The camera pulled back to reveal they were standing leaning on a wee cliff face. The man was consulting his notes which were written on pieces of 'fuzzy felt'

Real struggle last few days, one decent one last night (non lucid)

In my house, my wee boy pointed to the wall beside his room and said 'Theres a scary man in there --- again' I didn't like that so I went outside . My garden was now a huge stretch of grass which connected with a park IRL. There were tiny stunted wee trees and the grass was needing cut. I went back inside to a kitchen that was far too nice to be my kitchen. My mum was there and her pal and also a grumpy looking woman I didn't recognise. She had a fishing rod and was gently swinging a lure suspended online. M Mum said 'See you've got it! - are you ready to go?' The woman said yes in a tone which implied that she couldn't be arsed. I moved to the sink. I told my mu I was away to watch a Hammer horror. She said something sarcastic, and I said I liked them. My long dead IRL dog then appeared and I gave him a nice big clap. That was a nice way to end the dream .

Two fuzzy unfocused non lucids

Walking along a wide promenade like place with my father in law. We started walking across a big chunky stupid looking shiny sliver bridge. From there I could see a pub on a corner I said to my father in law
'These places are great, coz bairns will meet their parents there instead of getting drunk'
'You think people will stop drinking?'
'Well, a couple maybe'
We then reached the end of the bridge and turned right. There was a churchy looking building that ahd a sign outside that said 'The Haunted Inn'

Walking towards my inlaws house. There were some House Sparrows on the grass. They were moaning to each other coz there was no food about. I pinched some fat balls off a hedge and threw them down for them. I then passed a lassie who was holding a rope which was looped around a tree. I went inside and my mum in law said 'Is that lassie still out there'
I said she was, to which she replied 'She's amazing!!'

Two dreams - non lucid. First was from my first bout of dreaming, I never wrote it doon, but kept trying to mind it upon waking (would therefore probably sleep better if I had written it doon - coz its mainly gone now anyway.)

There were these walls ye see, and there were awfy bonny lassies sort of attached to the walls, in pairs. I would cling (nothing remotely sexual here btw) to one of the lassies and they would say something and I would have to decide if it meant I was to remain with them or cling to the other one.

what a lot of rubbish...

Later dream - I was in what was supposed to be one of my familys shops - never seen it before. A guy I know a wee bit had a blue metal box, he flicked a switch and the brightest light ever shone out. I said 'Put that off, its far too bright' Then my faither said 'We need it to go into the attic' He took the light and vanished up the stairs. I asked if I could go, and I accompanied one of my uncles. There were loads of stairs and wee landings, I crawled a wee bit and was aware of getting a mucky knee. There was then a spot that needed cleared of rubbish. It was mainly strip lights and planks of wood. We made it to the top, it was actually outside, there was a road and everything. My driving instructor from my youth passed us in a silver car and I gave him a wee wave. We then returned to the attic. My uncle held up a laptop which had an article from a celebrity saying that this particular attic was the scariest place he head ever been....

One fairly substantial dream - non lucid

In a shop, I had two books. I had to slot them into a cardboard sleeve. It was tricky. I then left and went outside, there was a market of sorts,, including a book stall. There was an urgency for me to get somewhere, so I only managed to glance at the books. I then found a map. I looked at where the UK should be and it was in the wrong place - it was far too close to Russia - however , I never twigged! - grrr
I then was with my wife in a sort of courtyard surrounded by old brick built buildings (a school?) Suddenly we spied a Tiger - we were a bit concerened. However, when it got closer we could see it wasn't a Tiger but more like a grey wolf with a stripy midsection. It had two wee circles where its eyes should be, so we could tell it was blind. Still it was chasing us round and round a car. I saw a man in the distance, but he dived into the nearest building. Someone I know IRL came out of a car, and failed to notice the beast (because we didn't tell him) he then saw it and realised that it was actually some man who was dressed up in a costume. He proceeded to tell us why, but I forget....

Had another dream involving water (maybe walking alongside a river?) but I forget....

Very nice enjoyable vivid dream last night, packed with wee details. All that was missing was the lucidity!! - bah!

In my Dad's shop. It looked entirely unlike real life, it was fitted out in wood and had a Victorian look to it. A wee boy was annoying me so I stepped behind the counter. There was a unit on the counter which blocked my view of everything! I then kicked a big box. I decided to get rid of it. I then noticed it was made of glass. There was square hole in the wall with space behind. I looked inside, it was full of dust and also a wee shard of glass. I was a bit concerned for safetys sake but I pushed the glass box inside. I then left the shop as I knew I had a rendevouz with a lassie!
A small gap I guess and I was walking up the streets of Forfar with the lassie on the outside. She looked a bit familiar but I I cant quite work out if I know her IRL or not. She was a good size 12, had shoulder length blonde hair and gappy teeth. I said to her 'I don't know your name, is that no' awful?'
'Shona', she said
'Shawna? ' said I, (Her last name was either Murray or Connor, I just knew this)
She didn't correct me. I asked if she knew my name, she said of course and said it matter of factly. I said it was an easy name right enough and we entered my Uncles shop. My Uncle and dad were standing there. They said something cheeky about the lassie I was with. I noticed then how short she was. I walked to the back of the shop and my other two Uncles marched out a door. I said 'Jings, the whole Clan is here!' She wasn't interested so we left and kept walking.
I said to her 'Your older than me?'
'No, I'm 35 - my brother Alvin was in your year at school - do you remember him?'
I didn't, but lied and said I did. - I suddenly was wondering what my relationship with this lassie was - ie was I planning an affair or what?
We entered an unfamiliar pub. She sat down at the bar, and I stood beside her. I got a text (Never had one in my dream before believe it or not!) It was from my wife and said-
'This is a small pub- you 'll not get served if you are standing up'
I looked up the bar, there was a man in a white shirt standing up and clearly getting served, but I sat down anyway. At once the barman noticed me and asked what I wanted at the same time as he asked two lads to my right. I asked first for a pint, then changed my mind to a bottle for some reason.

Pointless - but fun!

3 Non lucid odds

1) At the shop. V Dull. Showing customer kilts.

2) Walking down the street with my wife. I looked down and the crotch of my jeans was worn away to ribbons. I thought I could see my bits and bobs, but I had flesh covered underpants on for some reason....

3) In a chippy. Someone I know IRL was putting in an order. What a time they were taking!

I am back.

Real life was getting in the road.

So last year, 3 lucid dreams in total.

I can do so much better.

Lets start with last nights dreams......

Erm.... Damn!!!

Nothing!

Non lucid drips & drabs...

two nights ago - looking through fleeces at the shop.

last night.

I went out the fire door at the shop , I stood there for whatever reason and then I noticed that the entire close was covered in dogs jobbies. One of them was about three foot long - disgusting! I stepped back into the shop and was a bit worried I had stood in the stuff.

I was waiitng for my sister inlaw to turn up at the shop. She eventually arrived. Her hair looked greasy. I put something into a bag for her and she said 'Will I need to give you petrol money?' I told her no tae be so daft...

Three non lucid thingys...

1) Driving along a familiar road in my home town. Then I took a right turn and I didn't know where I was. I pulled up outside a building. A man walked past who had spiky hair and the U.S flag spray painted onto his hair for some reason..

2) Possibly the same dream - I was in a room listening to an American speaker. He called a guy I know forward and said 'Ah, an Englishman'. The guy I know calmly said 'Scotsman' and the American repeated it.

3) On public transport of some sort with my wife. A woman said I had to sign a form before I left. As often happens there was something blocking my view. I signed my name and put my address as well. I didn't put my real life address for some reason... I left whatever transport it was (it was like a moving room) and I knew we were in a hotel, As we walked down some stairs my wife said 'I bet this place is crap, I'll kill Becky if it is' We reached a foyer with glass sliding doors. I couldn't get through the doors first go. There were a bunch of black children sitting behind me, one of them said 'You're too fat' I turned around and said 'Shut yer face you' , I then managed to get through the doors.

Bits & Bobs from last two nights.....

1) My pal texted me with a list of birds he had seen round Forfar Loch. Bit of gap then I was at his hoose. He said 'I kent ye'd be here in nae time!' I looked at his list , there were about 40 species, including at least 6 species of Eagle... (no eagles in Forfar) I didn't have the heart to tell him he was a blether. There was another species (I forget) which I pulled him up on as it was out of season....

2) My wife telling me I needed insoles for my shoes...

3) Looking at Long tailed Tits and thinking they weren't quite right (no wonder, they were soft toys!!)

Once Christmas is over I'll be less stressed and hopefully get my recall back!!
Two non lucid bitties

1) Going into a Chinese takeaway, I was handed my order by a stunning looking Chinese lassie called Sophe. (Never seen her before)

2) I really dull one where I was in a strange empty building with my wife. My father phoned to say he was coming. He arrived instantly and we discussed how he was spending his savings on property. (which IRL is not happening.)

Fascinating!!!

I had a nice (non lucid) dream early on, but I didn't make notes so heres all that's left!

I was at a castle with my boy. there was an old woman standing behind a table. She had glasses on, curly white hair and was wearing a khaki coloured double breasted shirt. She looked right at me and said 'I mind ye from last year.... I thought you had a nice body, but you really don't'....

How nice!

I have a vague memory of climbing loads of steps in the castle and also a sense of urgency in trying to get out.

That's ma lot!