Timothy Paradox

I was being terrorized by Homelander in my own apartment. I think he'd already killed a bunch of other people, and he needed something from me. He told me to do it, and left. I knew he would never leave me alone, this would probably not end well for me, and he knows where I live. I knew I probably needed to move, quietly and without anyone knowing. I got back to my computer. It was my older 2016 machine, and I had successfully gotten it to run Windows 98.

I waited way too long to write this down, so most of it is gone. I was with my old high school friends, Fenn and Barra. I was feeling a sense of melancholy, as if on some level I knew they weren't real and I was just reliving a piece of the past.

I think it started off as some kind of messed up game show like the Hunger Games, or at least that's how it felt. I was released into the world in the aftermath of a zombie apocalypse. I entered a house and picked out a sword from a weapon rack. There was a big curved sword which looked awesome, but it was way too heavy to be practical to carry around (nowhere to attach it to my outfit) so I opted for a short sword. At one time I was forced to flee from enemies, and I had to quickly scale a hedge or fence. I also fought zombies. On the horizon I saw a stunning view of a castle on a hill (in retrospect reminding me of Beauclair in Toussaint, The Witcher 3) and I wanted to take a picture of it with my phone. However, it was so big and I was so close that I struggled to get the whole thing framed right. I think I woke up in the middle of trying to take the picture.

Earth was under attack from what I can only describe as flying saucers. I was in a strange place, impossible to describe. An area separated from the rest of the world by huge... there are no words for it in any language I know. Like gigantic window blinds but placed vertically, forming a wall that could open and close. I think I went through at some point and it closed behind me. I felt deep inside that my every step was predetermined, and I was always going to end up where I was supposed to be, safely "imprisoned" behind that wall, until the aliens were done with the world (but I had at least survived the armageddon). I felt like I wasn't supposed to stop this disaster, just survive it. I was having some kind of massive déjà vu the entire time. I remembered having dreamt all of this before, and felt like I was simply retracing my steps. I walked out into an open area, and saw hundreds, maybe thousands of saucers descend from the heavens. I knew that soon, they would lay waste to our world. I'd seen it happen before.

In one scene, still in the same dream (where on the timeline this happens is unclear), I'm sitting at a table with a number of other people. They're talking and the subject of dreams comes up. I say I've had lucid dreams before, and begin elaborating on the entire subject. I think synchronicity also came up. I think at one time, I called out "11:11!"

I've had two dreams, in both my mom is alive and well and makes an appearance. I've completely forgotten the first.

In the second, I was in a darkened room. My mom was on the computer playing video games. The only light in the room was from the screen. I was sitting at a table, playing with a lightsaber. If it was supposed to be a toy, it was remarkably real. Made the zooming noises when I swung it around, and actually projected a plasma beam. After a while, the battery started running out, and the plasma beam for shorter and fuzzier at the tip. On the floor there were model airplanes like the ones I used to build as a kid. At some stage I had to leave the room to go do something, or go get something. I had a lot of difficulty seeing because it was so dark. I struggled with my eyesight, and trying not to trip over the airplanes. On the way out, I looked back at mom and saw she was playing an MMO like World or Worldcraft. When leaving, I felt a strange sense of melancholy, as if on some level I knew I was leaving her for good (she is gone in real life).