Timothy Paradox

So in dreams, our abilities are typically limited, and we are bound to follow the "plot" of the dream, blissfully unaware that we are dreaming. When one becomes lucid, one becomes truly conscious within the dream, can break free from the plot and decide for themselves what to do within the dream universe. Typically, the dreamer gains a whole set of abilities, only limited by one's imagination, and dream control.

I had a fairly active period in which I had quite a few LD's, most of them induced on purpose using practice. Then I stopped, but still had one or two LD's per year, naturally. Until last year... As of late, it's as if my subconscious has found a way to "sabotage" me. I have dreams these days, quite a few, in which I think I am lucid, feel I am lucid, but am not truly lucid. I gain a subconscious awareness of my reality (that I'm in a dream and I have god-like powers), but this awareness stays "beneath the surface" - like I'm not really aware of it.

Another way of putting is this: in lucids, you break free from the plot. The plot created by your subconscious, whose "job" it is to keep you unaware and following the story of the dream. So it's almost like my subconscious, in an attempt to stop me from breaking the plot, invented a genius way to stop me from doing so. It made the act of "breaking from the plot" a part of the plot! I literally dream about thinking that I'm dreaming. It gives me a bunch of cool powers I would normally have in real lucids, except they work far better because they do not *really* rely on dream control (like they do in lucids)...

That's just a theory of what this might be, though. Most of these "fake lucids" do wake me up when they end - just like all lucids do. I don't think I've ever *not* woken up right after a lucid ends (mine usually end when I lose control, typically when I'm having too much fun to bother about dream control). So that's a sign they could be lucids after all.

Still, in these "fake lucids" I never *truly* feel like I was free. I do in the dream itself, but after waking, it still feels like everything I did was "on rails", determined by another - not myself.

Again, fascinating.