Twoshadows

Yesterday's Dream:

Last night I dreamed that I was at the lake. I was on a houseboat that was near another houseboat. I looked down into the water and to my horror I saw an alligator. I hadn't known that there were alligators here. i then looked over at the other houseboat which was only about 10 feet away from where I was. I saw two ladies I know who are my neighbors. All of a sudden they both fell into the water. One of the ladies is quite elderly. I knew she needed help. I wanted to jump right in and save her. But I had this horrible feeling of selfishness come over me. I didn't want to lose an arm or leg to the alligator. But then I also knew that there was no way I could just stand there either. I somehow was able to grab on to some things so I could get close to her without fully jumping into the water. i was able to get ahold of her and carry her out of the water. I then looked over and to my relief saw that someone else was helping the other lady.

I got lucid night before last...and it was the most pissed off I have ever felt when becoming lucid...haha.


Dream:

I was in a gym and I saw a pull up bar. I decided to see if the new workout program that I started was helping with my pull ups. I grabbed the bar and started pulling myself up. I was amazed at how I was able to pull myself up so easily. I completed my first pull up and lowered myself back down. The bar was sort of low, so I bent my knees back so I wouldn't touch the floor. I decided to give a second one a try. Again, I was able to pull myself up with ease. I felt this huge surge of joy.

I continued to do pull ups. I could feel my muscles working hard, yet the pull ups were still coming. I went to find a few people I knew to come watch me. I continued my pull ups. I counted....17....18....19...

Suddenly I had this horrible fear.

No...


No no no no no no.

I wasn't dreaming. I couldn't be dreaming.

But I started to wonder why I had improved so quickly. I mean, really...how many people suddenly can do 20 pull ups...20 easy pullups?

But I didn't want to think about the fact that it could be a dream. So I didn't RC. I hoped that I could somehow make this reality.

I continued doing pull ups. I called more friends over to watch me.

47...48....49....

I knew I was dreaming. How could I deny it any longer?

It made me mad. I didn't want to fly. I didn't want to do any cool lucid things. I just wanted to be able to do pull ups in real life.

I went over to Daron. I sort of jumped on him. I wasn't sure what I was doing. I didn't want to make out. So I climbed up to his shoulders and jumped back off.

I knew I shouldn't waste this LD, but I couldn't think of anything I wanted to do. I was mad and sad and frustrated.

And I think that was it.

I was sitting in what was supposed to be my car (but it looked more like a large, more spacious van), and I started seeing black widow spiders. They were on the floor, door, by the pedals, etc. I kept trying to step on them. I was worried that I would get bitten.

Dream 2:

There was a huge tornado coming. I was running and trying to find a place to hide. I was in the downtown area of a big city. I first ran into a building, but then saw that it was full of tools including chainsaws that I decided that I didn't want to be near when the wind blew them all around. So I ran out again. I decided to find the biggest building I could find to hide in. I figured that would be the safest. But then I turned and saw that the tonado was just a few blocks from me. It had ripped out a huge skyscraper. I then saw the building, full of people, come crashing to the ground. I felt sick. I had just witnessed the death of so many people. I ran again to find a place to hide.

At some point I had found a little girl that I was trying to protect. She had dark blond hair and was maybe 6 years old. I wanted her to be safe more than anything. I finally found a building and ran in. It was a library. I didn't like the thought of the books flying around and hitting us, but I knew that we had no time left to find a better place. I decided to remove the books on the bottom of one of the shelves and then crawl in. I had the girls squeeze in with me. Then I had this sudden fear that when the tornado came that the girl would be pulled away from me. So I unzipped my jacket and pulled her close and zipped it up again around both of us.

I don't really remember what happened after that. This dream seemed to last a very long time. I do remember at some point talking to my friend Shannon about the tornado.

Later I remember that I had taken care of this little boy, dark haired, around 4 years old. I had finally met up with his dad who looked like Robert Downey, Jr. I remember sitting on a bed with the boy while he was in the bathroom shaving. It seemed that the world was in total chaos and we were trying to find a way to survive.

Dream 1:

I was moving things in my yard around. I suddenly felt a sting and looked and saw that I had been bitten my a black widow. At first I felt quite alarmed, but then I calmed myself down and went to grab my homemade healing salve and "poison kit" I always carry in my backpack when I hike in rattlesnake country. I knew I would be okay. And I was actually a little excited to give this a try since I had worked so hard to put the kit together.

Lucid Dream:

I had been talking to someone about this show that would be filming in an area close to where I lived. It was something that I thought would be shown on Discovery Channel.

Then I am at the place where they are filming. I am sitting at a table. It is a kids' show. There are a couple other moms there with their preschool aged children. I am sitting by myself, but I decided that I didn't care. I wanted to be there and was enjoying what everyone was talking about (which I no longer remember).

Later, after the filming, I asked where this was taking place at. I felt odd asking that question. Shouldn't I know where I was? I had to have gotten here somehow. The lady told me, "PJ Island, Utah." I repeated that a couple of times...."PJ Island...Utah??"

And then it hit me. No wonder things weren't making sense.

This is a dream.

I announced to the two ladies that were still there that this was a dream. I flew a few feet in the air to show them. I then flew back down to one of the moms. I asked her what her name was, It was Stephani B--something. I said, "Stephani--come fly with me...and later when we are awake we can talk about how cool this was, okay?"

So I got her flying a little in the air. Then a little girl who was about 4 wanted me to help her fly. I went to pick her up. She was extremely heavy. I tried to get her in the air, but the best I could do was to jump and slowly land. I was a little frustrated. Usually people I fly with are instantly weightless. But I did this for a little while because it was at least somthing the little girl could enjoy.

And that's all I remember.

This was one of those dreams where I was a little mixed up in my thinking. Even those I knew that it was a dream, I was sure that Stephani was dreaming with me and that I would somehow meet up with her later to discuss this experience.

I had a very powerful baby dream last night. I don't remember a lot of details. But I do remember I had this baby girl who was about 4-5 months old. She was so wonderful and adorable and I felt this overwhelming love for her. I remember just being in awe that I was this little girl's mom. It was amazing. At the same time I seemed to have this faint feeling that this wasn't going to last (but not enough to lead to lucidity). I remember being at my sister's place sitting on her couch holding the baby. I also remember seeing a baby swing in one of her rooms and being excited to put my baby in the swing. I also remember thinking, "I really need to buy some baby stuff."


I know this dream was inspired by being with two friends last evening and their babies which were both around 4 months old.

Dream:

I had a dream that was at least semi lucid. My recall was not great, so I can't really appreciate it.

I do remember being in the ocean and having the waves pass over me. I remember thinking that the waves didn't feel as wet as they should have. Later I remember running around through some stores at the shore, and pulling up my shirt and showing everyone my boobs. So typical of my dream self.

To be honest this is one of the reasons I don't talk a lot about lucid dreaming to real life people (except those really close to me) because I am afraid they will want to learn more and if I point them to Dreamviews they will find my DJ with all my odd dream habits.

Lucid Dream:

I was running around on some docks by the ocean when I suddenly knew I was dreaming. I decided I wanted to do flips off the dock into the ocean and see what that felt like while lucid. So I tried to run to the end of the dock. For some reason the end wouldn't come. I was always about 4 feet from the end. Finally I had to stop running and just take it one step at a time to the end. Then I jumped and flipped. I seemed to go in very slow motion. Slow enough that I could watch the land as it spun upside down around me until I landed in the water. I found that so fascinating that I got out and did it again. This time my flip was faster. It was like the first time my mind really wanted to see and appreciate the motion of the flip. Once it had, it let me do the next one in a more normal speed.

But that's all the dream I got. I woke up before I could try anything else.

But I woke up happy because this was my first lucid in weeks. I had been stuck in a dry spell.

I have had 2 more LDs this last week but haven't written them down. I'll jot down a few notes so I don't forget.

LD 1: I became lucid and started to fly. Then I realized I wanted something yummy to eat, so I flew into a store and found what looked like rice crispy treats, but tasted more like carmel corn.



LD2: I was flying and became lucid. I flew past some beautiful buildings and out towards the ocean

I had a lucid dream last night after a dry spell.

Dream:

I can't remember where I was, but I lifted up something and saw two black widows. One was really big and the other was smaller. I watched them for a moment. Then I started to notice that one looked strange. It looked more like a stuffed animal than a real spider. It suddenly dawned on me that I was in a dream, that finally something odd had triggered lucidity!

The first thing I did was to fly up in the air. I enjoyed the feeling of the wind moving against me. Then I remembered what I had been thinking before bed--that if I had a LD, I would eat something really good, because in real life I am on day 6 of a juice feast, and I know in the past I have used LDs to satisfy desires for foods I am not eating IRL.

So I flew down and saw a fridge. I opened it hoping for something really tasty to be inside. I was disappointed to find that it had mostly condiments and a doxen eggs. Finally I willed something to appear..and there on the top shelf was a plate of cheesecake. I grabbed the plate and put a piece in my mouth. It was lemon cheesecake with a layer of solid dark chocolate on top. I was quite happy that this is what appeared. I stuffed piece after piece in my mouth. I was a little disappointed that my sense of taste was less than normal. But all in all it was satisfying.

Before finishing the plate I decided I wanted to fly again. So I took off. Above me I could see clouds. It had been a while since I had flown up to the clouds. I kept flying as fast as I could and finally entered the cloud. For a few moments I couldn't see anything. Then I popped out in a space in the middle of the cloud. The space was like a cave becasue I could see a place to exit the cloud on one side. So I flew up and through the hole and saw to my excitement that I was about to come up to the top of the cloud. The sky had light but was dimmer than sunlight. I realized that it was light from the full moon. I couldn't have been happier.

So I burst out over the top of the cloud and could see the whole top of the cloud glowing in the moonlight. I flew over the cloud for a while, then I wished I could just lay on the cloud, so I tried. I found that the cloud felt like a fluffy sheepskin blanket. I rolled around on it for a while. It was quite warm and so comfortable. Finally I rolled to the edge and hung my head over and looked down. I then let myself roll head first down off the cloud and enjoy the sensation of falling.

And that's all I remember.

I must not be sleeping well in my hotel in Phoenix.

Dream 1:

I was in my hotel room when I feel a lot of shaking. The floor to my room starts to slowly fall down a few feet. I was able to get out of the room, but after I do I watch as the whole room falls several stories to the ground with all my stuff in it.

Dream 2:

I was supposedly sleeping when I felt this horrible feeling. I try to yell and scream, but as is normal for me in dreams, just the sounds of strong breaths come out of my mouth. Later I wake up within the dream and see that I had my camera on and facing the bed all night and notice that I captured video of myself sleeping. I watch the video and see myself trying to sit up and scream in my sleep. It is very freaky and I wonder if I had been possessed.

I just had one of those dreams where I am talking to someone about lucid dreaming and I don't get lucid. Neverthe less it was a nice dream.

Dream:

Jeff and I were going to see Angels and Airwaves play. The show was at the college we used to go to. To get to the room where the show was we had to climb this really tall weird staircase. The stairs weren't flat but round and wavy with large distances between "stairs". I was struggling near the top. I was worrying that I was going to fall backwards, but Jeff and Danny R were where giving me a hand.

We got the the room where AVA were playing. It was like a large college classroom. We sat in metal chairs. Unfortunately we were near the back. But then they started playing and it was great. After about a half hour of playing Tom Delonge stopped and started talking to the audience. Then he started shaking hands were people. He got to our row and shook hands with both Jeff and I. He started talking to Jeff. What he said wasn't making sense. After that he said they were taking a break and would be back to finish the show in about 15 minutes. I asked Jeff if he thought Tom was drunk. Jeff shrugged.

Jeff told me he wanted to wander the campus until we found the trophy that our band had won many years ago. So we did. We finally found the room where the trophies were and it was cool to see the trophy again.

Then I had this sudden fear that way more than 15 minutes had passed. I started running back to the stairs to the room. At first I didn't want to climb the stairs again. I thought it would be faster to take the elevator. But suddenly I saw Tom Delonge about to go up the stairs. I was so glad that the show hadn't started again. I caught up to Tom and decided to ask him the first question that popped into my head. I said, 'I've got a quick question for you...are you a lucid dreamer?"

He smiled and said, Yeah...well, no...not actually lucid dreaming....just vivid dreaming."

I said, "You are always singing about dreaming...in all your songs. If you don't lucid dream now, you have to learn. I learned a few years ago and it changed my life. I can't even imagine the songs you would sing if you could lucid dream." And he sounded interested and agreed with me. Then he started talking to me about how he also planned to write a song about the Bentley Project. I wasn't sure what that was, but decided that I would look it up later. I assumed it had something to do with UFOs or the paranormal.

As were were talking and climbing the stairs I saw that someone in front of me had dropped a cell phone. I picked it up. It was cool looking...clear and glowing. I carried it with me planning to ask the people at the show if they had dropped it.

Then finally we were to the top of the stairs and Tom headed to the front of the room to start the show again. I called out to him, "If you need help with lucid dreaming, get on Dreamviews. I'm Twoshadows."

And then AVA stated playing again.

Old LD from 10-22-07

I forgot to add this one from a few weeks ago. It wasn't a long one, but it had a lucid moment. I think I'll add it here because I think every moment of lucidity should be accounted for.


Dreams:

I had an interesting stretch of dreams this morning after a WBTB. I even had a lucid moment.


In the dream I was back with my sister that has cancer. [Ususally when I dream about "my sister" I'm talking about my younger sister. My older sister doesn't show up as often.] We were in a little room that was supposed to be in her new-ish house.

We were looking through all these pictures and reminiscing. Then my sister pulled out a large picture and say, "Hey, you've never seen this one yet , have you?" The picture was of myself with her 14 year old son. In the picture he looked more grown up. It was a very flattering picture of us. We both look like we could be models.

I then pulled out a box that not only had pictures but a pair of my sister's socks. The socks were a pinkish tan color with chocolate brown stripes. I told her how cute they were. Then I remembered that they were similar to a pair of socks that she had supposed gotten me for Christmas last year. I figured she had gotten them at the same place.

Then my mom and other sister were there too looking through these boxes with us.

The next thing that I remember is walking through her kitchen and seeing the little black boy there. He was about 3 years old . At first I can't figure out why he is there. But then I remembered that she babysat for a few kids.

I reached out and try to hug this little boy, but he wanted nothing to do with me. I then looked over and see two little black girls. I also try to talk with them and be friendly, but they both walked away from me. I felt bad.


There seems to be a transition here. I think this is still part of the same dream, though.

I was walking though a college campus with a preschool group. One of the little girls was Japanese. She seemed to like me and let me pick her up. We somehow got a little behind the others, so I finally had to run to try to catch up. At one point I tripped and we rolled on the grass. Neither of us were hurt at all. I got up and felt like something was missing, but couldn't figure out what.

I looked a ways ahead and saw the last of the preschool goup head into the store/restaurant. I finally caught up and walked in. The group was now gone. I didn't have the little girl anymore. The lady inside asked me if I wanted any of the free lunch they had been serving to the preschool group. I said, "Sure".

It was then I realized that my purse was missing. I started to panic. I had lost it on the college campus. I knew that it was very unlikely that I would ever see it again. I started telling the lady I was with how I had lost it. She was sympathizing with me.

Then I remember saying, "You know, I think it's going to be okay. When I wake up my purse will be there. It's not really gone. This has happened to me before, and when I woke up the purse was there. I just need to try and stop worrying about it now."

Then I have no idea what happened next. I do know lucidity ended (if it was ever really there to begin with. Even though I was saying that, I never had that "Ah ha, I'm dreaming" moment. This is the first time I can think of there I made reference to myself dreaming with out truly becoming lucid. )


I then remember being in my basement. There was a crack in the wall and my cat was watching some silverfish bugs come out of the crack. She was swatting her paw at them.

I really think something is missing from my memory here. But the next thing I remember is being attacked by these large metal bugs. They were black and about a foot across. one looked like a spider and the other a scorpion.

I was upstairs at this point and I ran down into the basement. I frantically started looking for a hammer or something to smash them with. All I could find were a pair of roller blades. I picked one one of them and when the bugs came down the stairs I started smashing them with the roller blade.

Amazingly they both just fell apart like they were cheap toys. I then ran my hands through the pile of pieces. I suddenly thought about movies that I had seen. I figured it was a very good idea to put the pieces in separate bags to dispose of them, just in case they all came together and came to life again.

Then my alarm went off...

Old LD from 11-7-07


I finally had a decent sized lucid dream this morning. I did a WBTB (woke up at 5:30, went back to sleep at 6:30, had the LD and woke up at 7:30). And I took some B6.

Dream (Lucid):

I remember being with some people and going into the Caldwell's old house on the corner. I heard someone comment how they liked what the new owners did to the backyard. The group I was with walked into the backyard. I was expecting something pretty, but all I saw was junk. The rest went through the back door and into the house.

I started to follow, but then I saw my friend RD and her 19 month old daughter Catherine. I went over to her. I suddenly felt that we needed to go somewhere or we'd be late. But Catherine wanted to get on the swing in the yard. I felt impatient, but RD put Catherine on the swing. I gave in and started to push her gently on the swing.

As her daughter swung on the swing, RD started to sing the most beautiful song I had ever heard. I was mesmerized. I sat down and watched RD as she sang. RD then looked right into my eyes as she sang. I had the strongest feeling that there was something I was supposed to understand. I knew she was trying to pass me a message. I suddenly realized that this was a dream and the message that I was supposed to get that I was supposed to have a baby. I felt shocked for a moment.

Then realizing that I was lucid, I decided that I needed to go on and try the Task of the Month, that the message would have to wait, and I would deal with that when I was awake.

There is a fuzzy moment here that I can't explain.

At that moment I felt that I wasn't entirely asleep. That I was aware of my physical body still in bed and that I was only barely in the dream. But then I stood up and moved, and my dream body moved and not my physical body. I always know that when that happens after a WILD, that I am fully in the dream. So I really felt that I had just WILDed even though I'm pretty sure that I got to this point from the previous part of the dream.

But however I got here, I was now running around the house trying to find a mirror. As I got to the driveway, I saw a mirror that looked like a side mirror for a truck, but it wasn't actually attached to a truck. It was about 12 inches wide. I decided that even though it was small that I would use that to help me transform into a guy.

I looked at myself. At first I looked just like I did in last night's mirror LD. My hair was longer that it is and slightly curled. I concentrated on looking more like a guy.

At first I just started to look kind of deformed (as is typical of many lucid mirror experiences of mine.) Finally I started to look a little more masculine. I had no make up, my skin looked a little rougher (though I couldn't quite get stubble to show). My hair, even though it was still long and blond, looked more matted.

I reached down to touch my body to see if the transformation went beyond my face. First I touched my crotch. I didn't feel anything extra. Disappointed I moved up and touched my breasts. They were a bit smaller than normal.

I wondered if I should keep trying to make the changes more complete. But before I could, a group of guys walked past me down in the street. I decided I needed to see if I could pass for a guy. So I ran out to them.

I said to them in as much as a guy voice as I could create, "Hi, dudes." That sounded really funny to me, so I couldn't help but to giggle at little after that. The giggle did not sound man-like at all. I wondered if I had blown it.

The guys didn't say anything but were looking at me like they thought I was a total loser, and that they wished I would disappear. A group of girls met up with them, and everyone was still ignoring me.

So I tried again. I asked loudly, "What do you guys see when you look at me?"

One of the guys snorted and said something like, "Do you really want us to tell you??" And then the others joined in, laughing and making rude comments. But none of the comments gave me the answer I was looking for--did they see me as a guy or girl ?

This wasn't working out at all like I had wanted it to. So I decided to leave this rude group and try again. I saw a building in front of me that I knew had a girl's bathroom in it. I ran into the bathroom. It was full of at least ten girls all standing in front of this very large mirror.

I started shouting at them, "I need to transform! Help me transform into a guy!!" I started to push my way through the girls to the mirror.

I remember thinking as I shouted at them that my dream self was far more bold than my real self is. I wouldn't dream of shouting at a bunch of girls in a bathroom like that in real life.

As I got to the mirror I finally took a good look at what I had looked like out there with that group. I was surprised to see that I had clown make-up on my face. I wondered if that was why the guys had treated me like that. How long had my dream self looked like that? Or was this something that my mind had created just for this mirror scene. I didn't know.

I just knew that I needed to look like a guy. The clown make-up had turned into a mask in the last few seconds, so I just pulled it off. I concentrated again.

This time I made much better progress. Before I knew it, I was looking in the mirror at a guy. This was definitely a guy this time. He was nice looking. He had blue eyes, fairly short dark brown hair that had a bit of curl in it. I thought, "Wow...I'm good looking."

I looked at my clothes. This time I was wearing a bike jersey and biking shorts. My body looked very athletic and was definitly masculine looking.

But to make sure I reached down to my crotch. There was definitely a lump down there, though I felt no sensation touching it. I reached up to check on my breasts, and found that they were mostly gone--gone enough that they wouldn't be noticable by sight.

I looked at my self once more in the mirror. This time I noticed these odd boots on my feet. They looked like Roller Blades, but without the wheels. I wondered why they were on my feet.

As I looked at myself in the mirror, I thought back on everything that I had done in this LD, and I was suddenly worried that if I did much more that I wouldn't be able to remember it, so at this point with "mission accomplished", I let myself wake up so I could write it down.