Thread: JoannaB's workbook

Nice to see your previous practice and/or recent thoughts about getting back were showing up in your dream! You were close!

I had no recall from the night before - only got 6 hrs of sleep due to crisis at work. Not worrying about it, actually had to work from 4:30pm to 1am on Saturday, and then 7:30am to 11am on Sunday. This is becoming ridiculous. I started this job with a "I don't work overtime" position, but it became non-sustainable.

I did buy lottery tickets today.

I don't remember much from my dream during nap time, except that something made out of glass (chandelier maybe?) exploded, and glass rained upon me, and later it happened again - two glass showers in one dream, because clearly one was not enough.

So stressful dream patterns continue.

I wonder what glass raining down on you means and if twice means your subconscious was really trying to get a message across.

Maybe, I think the message is something along the lines that the stress is getting so much, and it is exploding and cutting into me.

You know the saying "hanging by a thread". Well, I have started up my old hobby of crocheting again, and it occurred to me that that's my thread right now: the thread that keeps me still sane enough.

Edit: Usually I am not a believer in dream dictionaries, but I did a quick online search, and got things like that rain symbolizes depression, broken glass symbolizes an aspect of one's life that is in pieces, and an explosion can stand for an explosion of repressed feelings. That seems to fit quite well with my situation.

Ha, I may have discovered a very promising treatment for my depression. It hinges on the idea that my depression seems to be seasonal, more likely in the winter. If it is actually seasonal affective disorder (SAD), then phototherapy is an effective treatment. I got a lamp for it, and started treatment today - I really hope it will work, very excited.

I was also reading that researchers have a theory for why certain people have seasonal affective disorder: a vestigial instinct to hybernate! So according to that theory I am kind of like a mama bear. I get more fatigued and grumpy as the daylight gets shorter, crave carbohydrates (especially ridiculous amounts of chocolate), lack the energy for stuff, etc. I had already over the years noticed that I cannot work effectively in a window less office. However, until now I had not really put it all together. It fits.

So I will be shining a very bright daylight spectrum light (lamp made specifically for phototherapy) on myself every morning for 20-30 minutes. And if it is indeed SAD, chances are my mood will improve. It has something to do with seratonin and melatonin production by the brain due to light stimuli or lack thereof. I wonder what effect this will have on my sleep.

I have heard of that. I bet you will see an improvement! It should also help you to sleep better (my understanding).

I continue to go up and down, two steps forward one step back or alas at times one step forward two steps back. Had a couple of good days, followed by a really bad one, followed by one that started with huge anxiety but ended on a better note. On Friday morning some of my own thoughts scared me (that I was having such thoughts was a sign of how poorly I was). But then things got better.

Today I went for a walk and realized that I have been neglecting having fun. It made me almost cry. I came home and knew I had to do the dishes, but thought I got to have fun, but the dishes need to get done. So I put the radio on loud and danced while doing the dishes, and life was better. While doing the dishes I emcountered a tea leaves full egg that neither my husband nor I have been able to twist open for a while, and I almost had thrown it away. Today I did not take no for an answer, and had self confidence that I could do that, and the tea egg opened. I also realized that I should not focus on why I need to leave my current job, but rather why I want a new job: I need a new outlet for my creativity, I need new ideas to excite me, new concepts to learn to expand my skills. I had been feeling guilty that I have been causing my husband's stress, but instead of guilt over that I need to look for ways for us to have fun together. So progress. Although every time I think of that my throat constricts and I almost cry, but I think this emotion is due to having neglected this for too long. A part of me almost gave up hope that my conscious self would ever realize what is truly wrong with me. I need to go back to daydreaming again. I started a bit today, but it is not easy after the long neglect. But i used to know that i need to daydream to stay sane, and somewhere along the line I forgot, or rather convinced myself that it was foolish. Action item: be foolish more often!

Hopefully writing it all out will help to remind you what works for you and what doesn't. Good luck!

I thought I was still too close to depression and too much stress to even try to get lucid. Well, I was wrong! Tonight I briefly became lucid. Now alas I woke up immediately upon realizing it was a dream, but this proves that my mind is ready to try again.

Became LUCID briefly: why am I now wearing clothes in church? - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

Yay Joanna!! And you noticed oddities earlier in the dream!!

Dry spell, but ... Things are better. I found out about this book "The Power of Now" by Eckhard Tolle, and I sense that I am finally beginning to "get" mindfulness due to this book. I am beginning to watch my inner voice and to refocus on the present whenever I catch myself straying into negative thinking and worries. I am working on overcoming my depression. Today was a good day. I recommend this book to absolutely anyone. It combines ideas from Buddhism and Christianity and others but it is meant to appeal to a wider audience, and a lot of it just rings true - that's the best way to describe it I think. My approach to spiritual truth often is: does it ring true? And this does.

It's good to see you back around! Living in the now...I like it!

I had a long lucid! Long LUCID: went through solid window! - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

Contrast that to my last lucid before that which was very short: http://www.dreamviews.com/blogs/joan...-not-fa-56565/

Second lucid in one night!
2nd LUCID in one night, but gross! - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views
Alas really low awareness and really gross dream theme.
But hey at least I knew it was a dream, and at one point I went in fast forward speed.

Awesome JoannaB!! Two in one night!!

While I was away, I found treasure in my home: two paper dream journals - one with some entries ranging from 1997 to 2000, and another with entries from 2002 and 2004. Neither of them contains many entries, and alas only one lucid dream (became lucid in an ice cold shower in 2004, floated out of the bathroom and over to the bed, false awakening but retained lucidity, and my husband was there in bed - a good dream . What this shows that my memory was faulty: I did not completely abandon this hobby for twenty years. I wish I could find my original dream journal from when I first learned lucid dreaming, but alas that journal would either be at my father's house or no longer there.

Edit: I do however believe that 2004 was my latest dreaming effort until February 2013. Why did I stop trying to lucid dream? I had kids. My older son was born in 2005. Now that makes much more sense than a full 20 years without any lucid dream attempts, while my kids were young I was too busy to pursue this goal.

A major advantage of caffeine withdrawal is that I am getting more hydrated. It goes like this: I need coffee! Here have an herbal tea instead. Gulped down herbal tea. Still not satisfied. Try another herbal tea, and then a third. I still want coffee, but I have been a good girl.

I stopped drinking coffee or caffeinated tea on Saturday, in part because I know that caffeine has a negative effect on my ability to be mindful and so to improve my chances at lucid dreaming, I have given it up (for now anyway). Plus it was time because I had escalated consumption too high and had gotten too dependent on it.

Great to see you again Jo-B! That must have been special to find those old dream journals! I would love to find some of my old ones. I did have interest in dream journaling 10 or 15 years ago but stopped. Did you ever check out those Open Beta threads? I seemed to be one of the few people that really liked it but I wouldn't be surprised if you like it also.

I did read the Open Beta threads and liked them. It's been a while now though, and I forgot already, so I should probably reread them sometime.

I started going back through at least the exercises if not the text of the chapters. It really doesn't take that long to do an exercise and they give some cool experiences.

I had been wondering whether my mind would be anywhere near ready to do the dream competition, since I started working on my dream recall again only a week ago, and while I was recalling something every night, but nothing long or vivid or with any awareness whatsoever.

And then I had this dream this morning:
Inherited plantation - Dream Journals - Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

While it was nonlucid and I was not even myself, but it was amazingly vivid and long and while I was not aware, but there were moments where I was questioning something, like that tug of war for the apple.

So I think I am definitely making leaps and bounds in getting ready. I do enjoy a good nonlucid dream as well.

Very nice!! I also had quite an adventure in a non lucid/semi-lucid dream the night before last and I agree, they can be very satisfying as well. Congrats!! I noticed your workbook got locked/closed somehow so I unlocked it but let me know if you were wanting it closed.

Thanks, I appreciate you unlocking it. Definitely did not want it closed. I could have closed it accidentally though.

I am not sure but if I rber correctly I think this may have been my first time getting lucid during a competition instead of after it. What lead to this lucid aside from competition, I had lots of stress and long working hours and was sleep deprived for a couple of days there, and then on Friday the issues at my work got resolved, and I was so exhausted, so I picked up the kids after work, picked up McDonalds drive-through food, and after we ate I told the kids to wake me only during emergencies and I went to bed at like 7pm or even a bit before, and slept till 4am, and then I was up for like an hour or hour and a half for WBTB, and then went back to sleep, and that's when I had the lucid dream. So I had slept for about nine hours before this and then up for a while before this lucid. Thing is I am still tired. All the tiredness catching up to me.