Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

This is the coolest thread!

Here's one from my DJ:


Girl Verses Snake

We are in a lounge room with wooden floors. There is a girl being attacked by a snake.

Her father approaches and gives her a stick. He says "There, that increases the odds four to one."

I think that makes sense, as she has four limbs.

I had just become lucid in my kitchen and I noticed that one of my art teachers was there and watching a show about either WWI or WWII.

Me: Hey -insert teachers name here-, did you know that we're in a dream?
DC: Yeah.
Me: Next time I see you in a dream, you have to tell me that I'm dreaming, okay?
DC: But it's so hard with all these actors!!

And another from my DJ

...
In the meantime I remember my friend's request for a "Ginger Pancake". I can't see any so I ask the shop owners who are Asian and I hope they understand my request. They say they do have some. They hand me the "Ginger Pancake". Then I remember it has to be "Funny Ginger Pancake" so I ask "Is this FUNNY ginger?" They tell me it's not and I don't know what to do next.

And one more... last one...

...There is NO way I am jumping. It's far too high. I go back to the cashier and I want to ask if there's a bungee or a parachute but I can't think of the right words so I hold my hands over my head like I'm holding a parachute.

She says "sure, you can hold a hankie over your head if you want to".

Originally Posted by Bethany

And one more... last one...

...There is NO way I am jumping. It's far too high. I go back to the cashier and I want to ask if there's a bungee or a parachute but I can't think of the right words so I hold my hands over my head like I'm holding a parachute.

She says "sure, you can hold a hankie over your head if you want to".

Oh wow this one made me laugh when I woke up He was standing outside and was wearing glowsticks everywhere on his body.

A teacher's standin outside and some kid asks him:

Kid: "Dont you ever get tired of kids with glowsticks?"

Teacher: "In my whole 15 years of doing this, I ahve never lost my love for kids with glowsticks."

I was having a very chaotic, apocalyptic-type dream, with people screaming, flailing, and running everywhere. I noticed a man sitting peacefully on the ground holding a screwdriver. He stabbed it into his thigh, looked up at me and screamed, "YOU WOKE THE GOVERNMENT!"

DC to me:
"Swim! Swim now Zac while you still have a chance! Quickly! The nazis are coming!...AND THEY'RE BRINGING THE CHEESE!!"

Conversation between me and DC:
Me: Man i wish i was lucid dreaming.
Him: But aren't you dreaming now?
Me: Pffft, no, if I was I'd know....
Him: You sir, are an idiot.
Then he drove his car away.

Originally Posted by Afterglow

DC to me:
"Swim! Swim now Zac while you still have a chance! Quickly! The nazis are coming!...AND THEY'RE BRINGING THE CHEESE!!"

Conversation between me and DC:
Me: Man i wish i was lucid dreaming.
Him: But aren't you dreaming now?
Me: Pffft, no, if I was I'd know....
Him: You sir, are an idiot.
Then he drove his car away.

LOL! Epic fail for you, epic win for the DC.

In a recent non-lucid dream, the singer Pink was a vampire in a black, ankle length leather jacket. She stalked some girl and followed her into her house, but the girl screamed and whacked Pink over the back of her head to try and knock her out. She fell to her knees, but then ended up grinning and getting back up.

Pink: "You can't knock me out. Vampires don't have a fourth dimension."

According to my dream logic, a fourth dimension is unconsciousness. Makes me wonder what the three before it consist of.

Looking up at the moon, I saw it was actually a man with a paddle standing on top of some long wooden boards with blue warning lights on either end, paddling across the sky.

Me: Dude! Look at the moon!
DC: *looks up* Yep, thats the moon... (sarcastically) His brother is much better at it though.

I only recall this because it was said at the end of my dream last night. A DC was going on about her dress (black with white polka dots) and I was getting a little annoyed.

"I'm beginning to think people people care more about polka dots than saving the world..."

Originally Posted by Jimmehboi

The funniest one I've ever heard was last night, I was actually laughing when I woke up. I saw a poster on a wall for a game-
I asked- "What's that?"
and my Gym teacher replied-
"It's a new game based on hypothermia, you make a hole through the palm of your hand and you need to try and hold a marble as long as you can."

Funnier still, this seemed perfectly normal to me and I didn't have a lucid haha

rofl

my latest LD, in full colour...
in a street, two male DCs talking.

DC1 (eating a BigMac) : I've heard you can only dream in black and white
DC2 (points at burger's lettuce) : That's why this is green.

DC2 shoves DC1s face in his plate and burger, DC1 comes out covered in sauce.

Once had a dream (non-lucid) in which I learned the key to a good life. And what was it?
"To live full-bodied, eating the sins of your fish."

I was jet skiing on a flooded road by Lake Champlain (in VT) with 4 people on the back of the jet ski and saw Champ the sea monster 20 ft away. I pointed at it as the tail went under water and said, "look over there, it's Champ!" to which someone on the back of the jet ski said, "that's just the water dragons we have" then I thought it was just normal and saw like 6 more of them further down the road.

Another one: I'm on a sinking cargo ship, and one of my friends is fishing out my other friend's car, when the fishing pole snaps, but the line is still attached. Some DC tells me to "pull it closer and tie an 'S' knot so it doesn't sink back down". I don't know what an 'S' knot is so I just double knot it.

my DG is a jerk sometimes. When i ask him questions regarding what he thinks he always responds; "Dude what the hell are you asking me for.... WE'RE THE SAME PERSON! You think what i think." but apart from that my DG makes for an excelent person to have a conversation with.

Non-lucid.

2 guys dressed in leather and wearing shades, looking very futuristic-apocalyptic come out of an full metal plate elevator in the middle of steam jets.
"Where are the frozen vegetables?", they ask me.
I think back to the contenance of my freezer and realize that indeed we're out. I tell them so.
"You must go fetch some more."
I'm really pissed at the whole macho "you're the woman, you do the work" kind of attitude.
"Me? Why the hell don't you go fetch them yourselves?"
"We're the messengers of Zeus."

PS - They really were. I guess the Almighty was in the mood for vegetable soup.

Me: Dude! Look at the moon!
DC: *looks up* Yep, thats the moon... (sarcastically) His brother is much better at it though.

Hahaha sounds like a mighty boosh quote.

Not so much what was said, but what was written. There was a piece of paper sitting in front of me with a picture drawn on it of a little, brown, disfigured dog. It basically only had two legs, and it's name was Jock. But for some reason, we understood it to have only three legs, therefore making it a tripod dog.

On the paper was written "Walking the Trock."

Apparently we'd combined Jock and Tripod to give this deformed doggie a new name. And we all thoughts it was very witty and funny at the time.

I am driving and I get pulled over. As I look into the rear-view mirror at the cop walking up I become lucid. This should be fun! So the cop walks up and he is the stupidest looking fascist red neck pig stereotyped cop. He asks for my liscense and I say "I don't have a liscence" and I keep smiling because what can he do? I'm lucid!
He says "If you don't shape up you'll have tail-brain duty in a brontosaurus!" At first I am a little scared but then I regain my full lucidity and I say back "well at least you won't be able to pull me over!"
When I awoke I cracked up laughing all day. I think I dreamed of a brontosaurus that had a head at the end of his tail also. I mean why not? He already had a tail-brain! And the other head would have no idea what this head was doing or if it even existed.

Originally Posted by Afterglow

Conversation between me and DC:
Me: Man i wish i was lucid dreaming.
Him: But aren't you dreaming now?
Me: Pffft, no, if I was I'd know....
Him: You sir, are an idiot.
Then he drove his car away.

Man where's my smartass DC at?

(Not actually a quote, just a comment.)

I had a Lord of the Rings dream last night. We were sitting around and not much was happening because everyone was watching the head orc dueling Frodo (who had temporarily turned into Harry Potter for some reason).

I got out my cell phone and called my mom.

"Hello?" my mom said.

"Um...we're going to be a little late, we got captured by orcs."

"All right." she said in a bored tone, "When will you be back?"

"Uh...well I don't know, I mean we're rather far away. We had to swim against this big wave and there was ice..."

"Really? There was ice?" mildly interested.

"Yeah, I think there was ice. Anyways, I'll call again later and let you know when we're on our way back..." Silence on the other end. I got a little annoyed. "...you know, if we survive..." More silence. I considered thinking up some dramatic last words, but decided it wasn't worth it and hung up.