Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

Originally Posted by MrT1981

You probably had to be there

I cracked up.

Also, how could you touch her poison sweets! Wait, who'd want to.

It's happened again. This time...

Interviewer: So, what do you have to say about Netflix? I have this coupon...
DC (resembles Leighton Meester from Gossip Girl): Netflix? I don't even use that. What am I, 16?
(audience laughing)
Me: Now *that's* just wrong.

BUMP BUMP BUMP BUUUMMPPPP!!...

Heh, recent non-lucid:

I was sitting at a hot dog stand ordering a hot dog without a bun (meh, even in my dreams I'm on Atkins ). Next to me are a grungey chick, Orlando Bloom and a very small dwarf in a tuxedo.
Later, we're walking along the streets and I turn around, the dwarf's turned into a white fish with rainbow scales and legs and a top hat. I get really angry at two strangers walking behind us and scream, "Shame on you pushing a poor midget out on the street! Can't you help him jump over the bars?" I was really furious!

Just...weird... but Orlando was impressed

I remember having a dream a few months ago that was hilarious, I can't for the life of me remember what it was but I woke up laughing really loudly at something Professor Snape had said.

Dream I had a few weeks back, girl from school was in it. I asked what had gotten into her (as in why she was around in my dream) because she's more in the uppity crowd, she just looked and smiled at me.

Not words, but I remember it vividly

I had a dream last night where i was building a real house "Sims-Style" by using a PSP. I was dividing out the rooms by using squiggly lines like this

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The owners of the house were the simpsons and Marge and Homer were in ed together but not married, i turned around and shouted to the grandpa,

"The sanctity of your christian marriage has been reduced to some squiggly lines"


i aint religious btw xD

Originally Posted by MrT1981

Had an LD last night where at one point I found myself on a slightly raised walkway in a room and Dawn French (A UK comedienne) on the ground level...

DF - You've been tasting my poison sweets (candy)
Me - Eh? I haven't touched them...
DF - (Begins throwing sweets at me) You HAVE, you HAVE touched them!

Then a bit later she is trying to lead me somewhere and I suddenly remember reading on these forums about asking your DCs the best way to become lucid...

Me - Oh! Can you tell me the best way to become lucid?
DF - (Beckons me closer then in a conspiratorial whisper - ) Before you go to bed you need to sit down to pee and do it silently. No splashes or whistles, just a trickle...
Me - You know I just might try that.......

You probably had to be there

OMG DUDE I NEARLY WET MYSELF LAUGHING!!


haha xD

Written on an apron hanging on a kitchen wall:

"You ain't seen nothing 'till the cook gets mad."

I came home on a bus to find my mum sitting at my computer. She was reading a forum. I asked her what she was looking at, and she just said: "Look at this, it's really interesting!"

She then stood behind me as I began to read. The topic was about Soda and it's relation to world famine. I then looked at this graph, which I have depicted with my noob paint skills





It made perfect sense at the time, and I didn't become lucid .

lol, dreams have a logic all thier own. Congrats on bringing that little nugget back with you.

Originally Posted by SmoothGroove

I came home on a bus to find my mum sitting at my computer. She was reading a forum. I asked her what she was looking at, and she just said: "Look at this, it's really interesting!"

She then stood behind me as I began to read. The topic was about Soda and it's relation to world famine. I then looked at this graph, which I have depicted with my noob paint skills





It made perfect sense at the time, and I didn't become lucid .

I know what you mean. In one of my dreams I was struggling in maths, so a girl showed me her graph of how the more carbohydrates in a rats body the more food like it became, and it made perfect sense. It looked like the periodic table, with all the outside squares white, and as they move to the middle the got really purple.

^ nick thief! *sulks*

That graph is hilarious. I especially love the little stars .

Originally Posted by Snooze

^ nick thief! *sulks*

I'm sorry. I had no idea.

The funniest thing to ever do to a DC is tell him a knock knock joke.

Me: Knock Knock
DC:peanut butter
Me: no I said Knock Knock
DC:no I will not go in a bathtub with you.
Me:Hey DC I'm Dreaming
DC:good for you shut up I'm trying to find my banana.

Haha ^
Well, last night I had a dream where I was sitting next to my friend Tatiana and these guys sat to our left, and one walked towards us and he says
DC: My friend wandered if you heard what he said to you earlier?
Me: *Looks at Tatiana then back at guy* What did he say?
DC: He called you Ian
Friend: Oooo, Omg, He called you Ian!!
Me: *Confused* Whaa?..
Supposedly the name Ian was some sort of flirt line or something o_O
It really made more sense in the dream lol.

From last nights LD, towards the end of a conversation

Me: How many sexually transmitted infections do you actually have?
beautiful naked asian girl looking ashamed: All of them
Me backing away slowly: Yeah im gonna go now

In a dream I had last night (one that should have been lucid but wasn't because I'm an idiot).

Me: Run!!!!! (We had just robbed a store)
Random person in a car: Which of you will fight El Toro!!!!
Me: Umm, I will
El Toro: Beware of death, unless you live! HAHAHH!!!!

Then several minutes of fighting until I woke up very confused about what had just happened.

Announcery-Narraratorish voice:
"Coming up! Stephen Colbert versus a monster!"

Me being not-lucid, I reply:
"Awesome!"

Fun thing was I visualized tournament brackets with Colbert's pictures moving up a rank next to the monster.

Originally Posted by RooJ

From last nights LD, towards the end of a conversation

Me: How many sexually transmitted infections do you actually have?
beautiful naked asian girl looking ashamed: All of them
Me backing away slowly: Yeah im gonna go now

lol last night I had another one

DC:Hey Dude do you want to go to the pickle farm and have a pickle fight
Me:no I want to do fun stuff since this is a dream
DC:this is not a dream I hate you and he (started running around me crying)
Mebacks away akwardly)

Originally Posted by Mes Tarrant

Yes! *gives cookie*

A pie for anyone who knows which episode. I may have to eat this pie myself.

A year late, I know, but it was "The Passion of St. Tibulus"! Oh, it's terrible that I know that . . . So, do I get the pie? It might be a bit stale by now though . . .

This is probably the greatest thread ever. It really should be stickied. Unfortunately, I can never really remember exact words from my dreams...I just get the main gist of what DCs are telling me.

One thing I do remember clearly was that in one regular dream, I was trying to pee, and people were standing all around, so I accidentally wet this one girl and told her with a shrug: "Hey - for a man, peeing perfectly straight is an art to be perfected."

Oh, and also, I was once on a bus full of DCs who broke out into song; it was this gospel-sounding version of Slow Ride by Foghat - I can still remember the melody to that version. So weird.

I have a couple which I'm not entirely sure count, as they were when I was attempting to WILD.

I was sort of half-asleep, and I think almost succeeding, when a narrator-type voice suddenly spoke:

"Her attempts to WILD have long been a source of amusement to many."

Now that was a confidence booster.

I tried again:

Me (internal mantra): 1, I'm dreaming, 2, I'm dreaming-

Disembodied Voice (disguising his words as a cough): Bollocks.

Another one, this time from a non-lucid dream.

A teacher was showing us art-work on the walls that some students had done, which were mostly of people's faces (and very well done!).

Teacher (in a perfectly serious tone of voice): As you can see, all of these paintings represent porn.

There was absolutely nothing pornographic about them, however, during the dream, this struck me as perfectly normal.