You know what you really wouldn't want to have mine

... ok this was before i managed to controll them but here is a typical SP hallucination: It's all black, i feel myself being dragged downwards then begin to spin uncontrollably, i am petrified and i hear people shouting me and laughing at me...i am suddenly in my bed, everything is how it should be, things in their right places and hubby asleep next to me, i then think "ohh shit its happening i gotta wake up" suddenly i will feel the most evil precence, i cant see it but it feels like a large man so full of evil, anyway i begin to panick and my heart starts banging as if its going to burst out of me...i try to move but i can't the i feel hands all over my legs and something grabs hold of me, i try and scream but just a mumble slips from my lips, i try to reach over to my hubby, trying to grab him and get him to wake me up, in my head im screaming "wake me up, for f--k sake wake me up" this thing suddenly tugs hard on my ankles and drags me down the bed it then starts throwing me about, i can't fight it or stop it i'm completly helpless against it, it drags me off the bed and i slam onto the floor, imopening my dream eyes really wide hoping it will make my real life eyes open and wake me up but it doesnt work..i then hear scary music and i feel like im going to cark it from heart attack i'm that scared...i then get lifted from the floor, i'm just hovering then my body gets slammed against the wall and the pain is unbearable, i have also only once been used sexually by this thing totally against my will.
Also i was once lying on my bed relaxing and all of a sudden i could hear saws sawing it began to get louder and louder and i felt as if there were 2 tiny people laughing and they both had an end of the saw and they were going to saw into me, i got louder still and i was lying there not able to move thinking "shit me they gonna saw me to death" LOL i saw yellow and red colours on this occasion.
I am able to controll my SP now so it doesnt get to that point but sometimes i do still now and again get the spinning feeling and as if i am being shoved under my duvet and held tightly under it and too scared to do anything so i wait it out, but it doesn't get to the point where i am grabbed etc anymore because now i controll it, instead of it controlling me.
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