Hey guys!

I've been lurking here for a while and thought I should get around to posting.

I've been very interested in dreaming for years, and have kept journals and analysed them and, very infrequently because I'm terrible at sticking to things, practiced methods to induce lucid dreaming. When I practice properly I am able to induce lucid dreams (though less commonly than I would like).

Anyhow, the first time I did this was absolutely hilarious. I used the reading method. I was on a bus and looked at the sign warning fare evaders that they could be fined, and it changed to "You are dreaming. This is a dream. You are in a dream."

I was completely shocked, a bit frightened but mostly exhilarated. I felt extremely aware and had perfect recall of my real life and the missions I had written in the back of my dream diary for when I became lucid (the first was to talk to a DC). However, the world I was in began dissolving just as quickly, and I had the overwhelming feeling of flying upwards (as if to awakening). I remembered reading the day before that spinning can stop you waking up, so I did, but I only flipped out more because everything disappeared, so I stopped immediately. The result was that I was in the same place but everything was faded. I only managed to cross the bus and sit at a table and chairs before I woke up (it was a false awakening but I didn't know it).

Ok! So here's where it gets irritating! Since then, my fear of waking up has caused me to rebel against lucidity in some bizarre way. Though I've become lucid many times, and immediately been able to affect every aspect of my environment - from flying, walking through walls/mirrors, creating buildings and calling in characters (so far), I have never felt fully aware as in that first LD. I'm still affected by dream logic - I became lucid when I was busting to go to the toilet once, so I created a toilet block instead of realising I didn't actually need to go. Additionally, I always seem to fall back into the dream quite quickly, or wake being unable to recall many details. In effect, I feel more like I'm dreaming that I'm LDing, rather than actually being lucid.

Any thoughts?