Thread: Does substituting a lucid dream girlfriend for a real life girlfriend have serious consequences?

Good luck losing your virginity.

What an interesting question. I guess it is healthy, as long as you are honest with it, and know it is just being in love with yourself. Sort of like a masturbatory romance. Nothing wrong with self love, as long as you still keep yourself open to the real thing. Nothing can totally replace real human interaction, or real relationships.

ummm...
i have really good/great sexual relationships in real life.
and...
i have dream lovers too.

sometimes i do things with my dream lovers that i don't do with my real time lovers.

and, sometimes, afterwards, i think, wow, what was stopping me in real life? that was SO much fun!!! time to loosen up here, girl!!

we already know that in dreams we can drop a lot of the inhibitions. when i do this and it turns me on, well, i get inspired... it carries over into the rest of my life.

so overall i think this is very healthy. opens my imagination and winds up benefitting real life partners.

Totally unrelated, but Loaf, when did you get a new website? I still log onto Boxhead once in a while...did that one go belly-up?

EDIT: Just for the sake of being on-topic...no, it's fine, as long as you don't get obsessive with your dream GF. Human to human interaction can be pleasant, too. If you DO happen to pick up a real GF, you may wish to break it off with the dream GF to avoid issues with jealousy, etc...not to mention that at that point, your dream GF is more or less obsolete. So yeah, have some fun in your dreams, but also go out into the real world and try to find a REAL girl...you'd be surprised how awesome they can be.

EDIT EDIT: Wow, I really went overboard with the emoticons...

EDIT EDIT EDIT: On a side note...who are any of us to tell this guy what he can and can't do in his own imagination?

It's not the same, try to have both if you can >.>

Feels almost like lucidology thread lol, guy shows how to lucid by his way and he gets trolled by dreamviews.

Your mind would probably make ideal gf, so it woudn't be interesting. No arguing,stupid her wishes. You should just have Lucid Sex. That's all. ^^

Originally Posted by M45t3r

Feels almost like lucidology thread lol, guy shows how to lucid by his way and he gets trolled by dreamviews.

I "showed how to lucid by my way"??? How does that make sense? I didn't do that in my first post in this thread.

No, that's what happened in the Lucidology thread. The similarity would be, you came in and asked a perfectly legit and honest question and pretty much people jumped all over you.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

No, that's what happened in the Lucidology thread. The similarity would be, you came in and asked a perfectly legit and honest question and pretty much people jumped all over you.

Oh, my apologies to M45t3r then.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

No, that's what happened in the Lucidology thread. The similarity would be, you came in and asked a perfectly legit and honest question and pretty much people jumped all over you.

Originally Posted by Mathemagician-Taliskuji

Oh, my apologies to M45t3r then.

No problem

No way im letting a women take up my Lucid time, Real life Girlfriends are bad enough. "Lets go shopping!!! *^-^*" NO!

I cringed as soon as I read the title of this topic, because as long as I've been here every thread along these lines has gone the exact same way. At least this time there are a few members around that have some other viewpoints and it isn't exactly like the first of these I've seen.

Now, as to the issue at hand, I don't think that it would have any serious reprocussions any more than all the people who use lucid dreams to go around killing [humans/zombies/whatever] or those who use lucid dreams as an outlet for nympho urges. I think that if you want to persue a dream relationship you should definitely go for it, It is a good experience to have had. To any of you guys who feel differently, I'm open to reasons why you feel this way. Also, to be fair, I do think that if you are getting a DGF because you've been burned by a real woman and are hoping that it will provide a good escape, that could be comparable to someone using drugs as an escape and thus wouldn't necessarily be healthy. Consult your heart and find out what is best for you.

Personally, I don't have the desire (and never have had much social drive since I was very young) to be in a romantic relationship and probably never will. I'm already out of my teens and past the age all of my offline friends assured me I would go crazy over girls without any change. It doesn't hurt me one bit to live my life the way I do, and I can't imagine getting a DGF would in any way change that.

To those on the tune of "your DGF would be too perfect": Am I the only one who is confused by the concept that discord is a good thing? Why would settling for someone who would get on your nerves be positive? I wouldn't really want my love life to be a challenge. Heartache for the sake of making you appreciate what you have is great for those who don't appreciate what they have, don't get me wrong, but what about the rest of us?

All the Best,
rR

Sorry, but I can't help but say "get off the computer, get some exercise, take some risks, forget about girls or love hurting and be a man. There are plenty of real human girls willing to have sex outside of a relationship, if you don't want a relationship.
Sure, have some wet dreams, but it will be boring because you won't grow. And that is the point of life is to confront your fears and grow up and realize your potential. If you are a wimpy nerd sitting behind a computer who can't get laid then do something about it.
Escaping reality is just postponing the inevitable, because sooner or later you will have to face reality because that is all there is. Use your dreams to heal your soul and your heart so that you can get laid in real life.

To those on the tune of "your DGF would be too perfect": Am I the only one who is confused by the concept that discord is a good thing? Why would settling for someone who would get on your nerves be positive? I wouldn't really want my love life to be a challenge. Heartache for the sake of making you appreciate what you have is great for those who don't appreciate what they have, don't get me wrong, but what about the rest of us?

Variety is the spice of life. You should have someone who cares about you, but you should also have someone with an actual personality; someone capable of throwing the odd curveball your way. Otherwise, it's just...sex, and you don't need a DGF to have dream sex...I have nothing against people who go out and pursue DGF's, but it seems sort of like a waste of a lucid to me. I'd rather spend my lucids doing cool things, like sky diving or drag racing down the Great Wall of China, or breathing underwater or destroying the Earth. I'm just saying...why go on a date night after night when you can destroy the planet, rebuild it, and destroy it again? Why settle for a fancy dinner out again and again when you could fly at twice the speed of light?

Bah, whatever. To each his own.

Originally Posted by Mario92

I have nothing against people who go out and pursue DGF's, but it seems sort of like a waste of a lucid to me. I'd rather spend my lucids doing cool things, like sky diving or drag racing down the Great Wall of China, or breathing underwater or destroying the Earth. I'm just saying...why go on a date night after night when you can destroy the planet, rebuild it, and destroy it again? Why settle for a fancy dinner out again and again when you could fly at twice the speed of light?

Bah, whatever. To each his own.

Oh, so very much agreed. Too much to me like wasting your time letting them take you shopping. Who wants to do that? Lucid Liberation ftw.

Originally Posted by Mario92

Variety is the spice of life. You should have someone who cares about you, but you should also have someone with an actual personality; someone capable of throwing the odd curveball your way. Otherwise, it's just...sex, and you don't need a DGF to have dream sex...I have nothing against people who go out and pursue DGF's, but it seems sort of like a waste of a lucid to me. I'd rather spend my lucids doing cool things, like sky diving or drag racing down the Great Wall of China, or breathing underwater or destroying the Earth. I'm just saying...why go on a date night after night when you can destroy the planet, rebuild it, and destroy it again? Why settle for a fancy dinner out again and again when you could fly at twice the speed of light?

Bah, whatever. To each his own.

Do all those things WITH your DGF. Blow up the earth with her, take her skydiving, have sex while skydiving, go drag racing down the great wall with her.

If you have any of an imagination, she won't be YOU, that's why she'll have a personality. Often in my dreams i'm stuck with a chick who is my girlfriend by default, not my choice. She ends up having the personality I like. It's not "just sex" we have lots of fun outside that. Rarely do I have lucid sex. most sex is non-lucid

Originally Posted by Acala

I see a BIG problem with a lucid dream GF. Suppose you want to break up with her and she doesn't want to let go of you and gets all psycho stalker on your ass? With a waking life GF you can move away or get a restraining order. But you can't avoid sleeping! And every evening when you approach your bed you will know that as soon as you slip into REM she will be waiting there to shriek invectives at you and try to kill you. And there will be no place to hide and no dream police to enforce a restraining order.

Hilarious, I like it.

Originally Posted by Purebred

Your mind would probably make ideal gf, so it woudn't be interesting. No arguing,stupid her wishes. You should just have Lucid Sex. That's all. ^^

I'm curious: Do you guys think that those who have or want to have a dream partner instead of a real one are pathetic losers? Why? Because they aren't real? Nothing in a lucid dream is real, so why have them to begin with?

Has it ever occured to you that some of these people, including myself, might have social phobia, asperger syndrome or similiar?
If I used the n-word on a black person you would be all over me with what an intolerant jerk I am, but as soon as it's something you are unfamiliar with, something you don't understand, then it's ok to make fun of it all of a sudden.

If you saw a little kid who was shy and didn't dare to play with the other kids, I doubt that you would call him a loser, but older people with the same kind of problem are appearently ok to spit in the face.

Why do you want to have a partner? Because of the feeling you get from it. You can get that feeling in a lucid dream, so that's what we do (or want to do), while you are running around looking for potential partners, going through failure after failure.
You are intolerant, and you make things harder for yourselves because of that intolerance. As far as I'm concerned, you are the sad pathetic losers.

Spoiler for P.S:

No offence to anyone

Chill, panicky guy. Look, I'm like you: I don't like social interaction. But, by the same token, I'm physically attracted to women and I'm not going to let some irrational phobia stand in my way. Now, if you have social problems, issues, or fears, and you want to avoid them instead of facing them and growing as a person, that's fine. Good on ya. Have fun with that. But I'm gonna take risks. If I get shot down, that's fine. Get back up and try again. If a relationship ends in a breakup, it wasn't a total failure. You learn from that. There was a reason you broke up, and you can either identify the reason and attempt to use it to better yourself, or learn to recognize that reason in others so you don't make the same mistake twice.

Now, people with Asberger's Syndrome clearly have it harder, as do people with phobias. But there are options available. Phobias can be conquered, and people learn how to work around their limitations. We are an amazingly adaptive species. Now, again, if a person wants to conjure up an imaginary friend to live with for half an hour every night, that's fine. But, I myself would rather have a real, tangible girlfriend who acts on her own accord, rather than how my imagination tells her to act. I prefer the trials and tribulations of relationships, rather than a perfectly flawless relationship. I learn, she learns, and we're better human beings because of it.

I don't think anything less of people who go with the imaginary partner route, and they clearly aren't hurting anyone, present or future. I think it's a mistake...much the way people who cling unquestioningly to their religion is a mistake, but I tolerate both groups just fine. It's your choice, mistake or no, and you alone have to deal with the consequences. If it makes you feel fantastic to have a dream GF, then great. Bully for you. You're not bothering me, and I don't care. Hell, it's less competition, so thanks!

You were wondering about why to have lucid dreams if nothing is real. My answer: because there are no consequences for your actions within said dreams. They're fun. I capitalize on the fact that nothing is real. I will go snipe seventeen people and launch myself around with the portal gun. When I wake up, there won't be a squad of police cars at my door. A real girlfriend, by contrast, sticks around. What you do has consequences, for better or worse. Long-term consequences, I may add, rather than just whatever your imagination can cook up before you wake up. If you bake your real GF a cake, that will make her feel great, and should make you feel great back. When you do it in a dream, unless you're severely diluted, it will always be less sweet. A part of you knows you aren't making anyone else happy, and you likely didn't go through the actual motions of making a cake. Now, if you DO somehow derive the same amount of pleasure from the dream encounter as you would a real life encounter, then great. If you can wake up and feel like you're actually improving someone's life, that's fine. Good for you. Best of luck to you and your imagination.

In short: if you want a dream girlfriend, good for you. I think it's a mistake, but I don't think anything less of you. I would encourage you to more fully explore the options available to you so that you may live a richer, fuller existence, but that's about it. And if it seems like I'm making fun of you, it's because this topic is damn funny. I respect your lifestyle choices, don't get me wrong. But you must see how utterly absurd this whole thing is in at least some aspects. You've got to be able to laugh at yourself.

Well what if you ahd a dream girlfriend and you went up break up with her and she didnt want to and basically became Freddy cougar in your dreams. And basically haunted you forever? Scary thought lol. In short a dream GF sounds bad, very bad. Plus your gf would essentially be an imaginary friend.

Well i do have a dream girlfriend. She is not A figment of my imagination. She is very real, I have even sent her into other people's dreams.

I have known her over six months and I've never had a single lucid tender moment with her yet, for some reason... it seems to be difficult. It's all masturbatory fun and games for me right? WRONG. We've had fights, Drama, and growth all the same. In fact, most of my waking life girlfriends were short lived due to some of my personal problems. with my dream GF, since there is no finality in our relationship, has actually been helping me point out much of my patterns of self sabotage when it comes to love. And I have actually been dealing with those issues for her. It has been a very interesting experience for me.

so go ahead and laugh if you like. She IS real. She is helping me be more prepared for a love life in the waking world as well. These are my dreams, don't interpret them for me. I am the only one qualified to use my dreams in this manner for me.

Originally Posted by Mariano

eh no, what's the problem with all of you?!
a fake girlfriend CAN'T replace a real girlfriend! never! we are talking about a human here! we are talking about life!

For some reason, the way you speak here reminds me of Edward Elric.. But.. Yeah just don't try and have sex w/ her. Use you hand IRL for that (: NAH! just kidding. IMRO (In My Real Opinion) do whatever you want. Just don't go introducing her to your mom...