I applaud your effort, but I'm sorry to say that parts may not work... For instance, when you say to tell yourself that youre awake, how do you in fact know that you are awake? You must establish this first. I've had many many Dreams where I was convinced I was awake, only to wake up soon thereafter. Your subconscious does whatever it wants so as far as controlling that goes, you can't. You also don't have to tell it to take cues because it already does this every single moment of every day. You need your higher consciousness to be aware of cues.

In my opinion, your on the right track. It seems to me you've combined many of the techniques already established for Lucid Dreaming. I like that you want to practice RCs while you're in environments that are busy, this is how many Dreams are. You wanting to write down things from the Dream that are unrealistic is another technique people use, it's called Dream signs. They are things that appear in your Dreams more often than not that can signal you are Dreaming if you know how to spot them. Thinking in between breaths may be a little difficult seeing as how you must focus on holding your breath or not in order to do this. I've found that working WITH your subconscious will benefit you more in the long run when it comes to Dreams, so considering that it is your subconscious that controls things such as breathing and heartbeat I wouldn't suggest using that technique.

I'm not trying to tear down your technique, not at all. I'm simply sharing with you my experiences and things I've come to learn. Read up on a technique called Lucid Living. In my opinion, this is the best way to prepare your mind for telling the differences between waking reality and the Dreamscape reality.