Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Ah no, I play them in English. Chinese is still a tad harder for me to read as compared to English.

You know for HeartGold, I have a guide book so I was training my Pokemons by repetitively going to the Elite Four to match up to the Elite Four I'll get to battle after I defeat Red. They are still the same, with much much higher level Pokemons.

Regarding Black & White, even if I don't know the names of the Pokemon, I can help you with the types, so you know which types is more effective towards certain types. I see you've gotten yourself a water, grass, fire, ground or rock type Pokemon? Maybe you can try looking for steel, physic and ghost type Pokemon. AND ELECTRIC TYPE IS MY ALL TIME FAVOURITE!!!

Gotcha, gotcha. Yeah, it's water/flying, grass, fire/fighting, ground/dark. Joltik, the one I'm thinking about getting next, would be bug/electric. There is a steel type in the same area though, I could go for that, hmm.... I'll think about it, I'm not there yet anyway. Thanks for the tip!

...

I made an art!

keytarist.jpg
(click to enlarge)

This little guy entered my mind for some reason, so I drew him. Pretty happy with the way it turned out. That's pretty much what I had in mind.

That's a nice sketch!

I don't really like bug type Pokemons, my Butterfree wasn't growing as well as the other Pokemon I had in my team. But I've got myself a Starmie and made it learnt Thunderbolt, Surf, Waterfall and Ice Beam. So currently my Starmie is super effective against fire, rock, ground, water, flying, grass and dragon! Isn't that awesome!

Originally Posted by Spartiate

Worst porno ever.

I don't think it could be a porno hahaha.

Originally Posted by Carrot

That's a nice sketch!

I don't really like bug type Pokemons, my Butterfree wasn't growing as well as the other Pokemon I had in my team. But I've got myself a Starmie and made it learnt Thunderbolt, Surf, Waterfall and Ice Beam. So currently my Starmie is super effective against fire, rock, ground, water, flying, grass and dragon! Isn't that awesome!

Thanks! Starmie is pretty great. Sounds like a powerhouse! I normally don't go for bug Pokémon either, but lately I have a thing where whenever I play through a game again I try to use mainly new ones on my team so I can get used to all of the different ones. I haven't used either the electric or steel ones in that area though, so either would work.

I LOVED those commercials

I need to change my diet again. I guess I'll return to Arby's Roast Beef sandwiches They give me neither gallbladder attacks nor acid reflux. The salads I've been eating are killing me. I think that's the main reason I've been sleeping so crudily. I really wish I could eat like a normal person. But hubby doesn't like paying medical bills and I refuse to see another doctor until he starts paying them. Insurance covers most of everything and he thinks that's good enough

I took 1/4 of valium to knock myself out but still only managed to sleep for 3 hours.
I have parenting class tomorrow but I'm pretty sure I'm going to cancel until next week if I can. I am in no mood to fiddle around with it...

Why am I still awake? *Looks at time... 7am* SERIOUSLY?

And I'm too lazy to bathe too. I just want to flop dead somewhere but I'll feel too dirty to sleep for long. And my body clock continues to be so screwed up with no intention of fixing itself back. I wanna go back to my childhood days where my only trouble is how to keep myself from feeling bored.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

I LOVED those commercials

I need to change my diet again. I guess I'll return to Arby's Roast Beef sandwiches They give me neither gallbladder attacks nor acid reflux. The salads I've been eating are killing me. I think that's the main reason I've been sleeping so crudily. I really wish I could eat like a normal person. But hubby doesn't like paying medical bills and I refuse to see another doctor until he starts paying them. Insurance covers most of everything and he thinks that's good enough

I took 1/4 of valium to knock myself out but still only managed to sleep for 3 hours.
I have parenting class tomorrow but I'm pretty sure I'm going to cancel until next week if I can. I am in no mood to fiddle around with it...

Acid reflux sucks, I've been getting it really bad lately. If I forget to take some tums before bed (and sometimes even if I remember!) then I wake up feeling like my throat is burning away. >.<

Have you tried any herbal supplements, like valerian root? It works on GABA just like valium does (and alcohol, and some other things) and it feels very smooth and natural and it tends to last a long time, at least for me and my friends. I took a large amount once (seven capsules I think) and went to bed, slept all night, and woke up still feeling it the next day, though I wasn't unable to function or anything, it was nice.

Originally Posted by Carrot

They've been pulling that joke on me for ages.

Hmm, yup trying to get a girlfriend, not sure how am I supposed to even ask. I might just get a weird look and a permanent block from that person. Asian countries aren't very receptive towards homosexuals.

Move to Canada. It'll be a new experience for you and I've always wanted a lesbian friend.
-----
I just watched a movie called Burning Palms, it was a bit of a downer. I also let my noodles boil for too long and now they're all soggy/slimy.

I thought Carrot was a guy, wait are you? :X I'm confused by the gender that is manifest in your profile D:

Nope, she's a girl.

Wait a second, so all this time I've...but I thought. Oh my god. What the hell is wrong with me! I could've sworn Carrot mention she was a guy. I'm not even kidding! Oh my gosh. I'm really sorry!!!

NO WONDER you reacted weirdly when I was mentioning Ecchi Anime!

I knew you had the female sign on the gender portion of your profile....you know what? Never mind. I've gone CRAZY!!!!

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME!%!%

I remembered I had this problem when I thought a female friend I knew in the IRC channel of an MMORPG game had a daughter, but I thought she was a guy.

Fml fml fml fml fml fml. My most sincere apologies Carrot. How the hell did I think that you were a guy!?

I can't forgive myself!

We all make mistakes, man.

*Wake up at 4:30pm, spend 1/2 an hour reading the new stuff that's appeared in this thread over the night.*

@link If she's a lesbian, why should she act weirdly toward mentioning what you did?
And when you meet this woman, is she going to look like she does in the game with the slight polygon-ness, or will her skin be smoothed over realistically?

Originally Posted by Dianeva

*Wake up at 4:30pm, spend 1/2 an hour reading the new stuff that's appeared in this thread over the night.*

@link If she's a lesbian, why should she act weirdly toward mentioning what you did?

I've had my share with lesbian friends. (well only two ) Normally a guy would go head over heels with that kind of stuff, that's why I wondered why she was acting "normal" instead of going "WTF" (before I realized).

Originally Posted by Dianeva

And when you meet this woman, is she going to look like she does in the game with the slight polygon-ness, or will her skin be smoothed over realistically?

I don't know, I'm going to have to trust my subconscious on that one. I've had a few lucids, but I believe it can make her look more realistic. If my mind can make random blondes that I never knew, and trust me, they were pretty HOT, I think it can pull off some realism.

If not, I don't mind if she's a bit polygon-ness. I only want her to be a medium for emotional comfort, I just want unconditional love from my mind. And use her to let it express solutions to me to general problems. And hopefully form a relationship to the point where if I ask her to do something for me (like memorizing complex math equations for instance and help me retain more information).

You know what I mean? It's like friends with benefits, except she'll know everything I'll want, but she'll still do it anyway. It's to keep me sane throughout college. Because I'm honestly going to need emotional support from myself if I can't find time for a girlfriend...>.>

Call me crazy, but at least I'm being self-efficient, or trying to be (once I get better at LDing)

My mind is starting to drift so some really bad places. >_< Not like creepy bad, like depressing bad. Too much craziness is bringing back my old mindset, I feel like I'm starting to dissociate and lose sight of reality. Time to tone it down for a while....

I think I've had that problem for a while too.

Spoiler for Slightly Disturbing, you have been warned!!!!! DON'T DO IT IF YOU'RE SCARED...ARE YOU SCARED? PULL THE TRIGGER!!!:

Like if I'm watching an adult film, my brain keeps giving me "What if someone saw this" moments CONSTANTLY
Then the experience isn't fun anymore because my brain keeps nagging me "Dude what if your crush saw this man?" or "What would your teachers think of you if they knew about this? You're not such a good boy anymore aren't you?"

My mind has multiple thoughts, and I think I'm creating them, I'm not to sure, but I think I've been more open to what my mind is saying since I've joined this forum. Or maybe it's just me being crazy.

What's!̸̶͚͖͖̩̻̩̗͍̮̙̈͊͛̈͒̍̐ͣͩ̋ͨ̓̊̌̈̊́̚͝͠ͅ ̷̧̢̛͖̤̟̺̫̗͚̗͖ͪ̏̔̔̒́ͥ̓ͫ̀ͤ̇ͥ͝ ̡̊͛̇ ͫ̉ͦ̊̀̔ͧͮ͆̽ͦͩ͋̌͗̚̚҉̵͖̟͙̮͈̼̹̞͝ͅis wrong with your screen?

That does sound kind of like mine, though on a different level of subject matter. (And definitely not starting with that same scenario lol.) Usually if I get depressed these days it's about more basic stuff like that, but it was just headed in a way that it used to go.... Mine starts with me just getting stuck on the way my mind works usually, which is really odd and disconnected, like the short way of saying it would be that it feels like none of the different aspects of my personality are correctly integrated and they all just do their own thing at different times. (That make any sense...?) That's not the only thing I think about though, but a lot of it is related to that. Then when I start to get really depressed it makes me start feeling like I need to escape really, really bad, a way I've put it before is that it feels like I'm an infinitely large volume trapped in a finite container. I don't let it get any further than that without catching it anymore, but back when I was really depressed that would make me start to fantasize about death as a good thing and wish I had the guts to commit suicide because then I'd be able to set myself free.

But the fact that I know how to get out of that train of thought now doesn't really make me feel any better about it. The reason I can (other than the fact that I'm just not as depressed in general anymore, but that doesn't fully stop it) is because I know how to manipulate the different aspects of my personality, so I can bring myself down to my calm, collected self if I need to. But it doesn't really change the fact that that other part is there.... It's all kind of confusing.

Whatever you do, the next time you get depressed don't contemplate to suicide. Please don't. And I get what you mean now. You're basically saying you've split your personality, probably from the previous experiences of being depressed maybe?

That's sort of like Dissociative Identity Disorder, almost, but don't think of it as a bad thing. It's a coping mechanism your brain does to deal with the trauma. I'm not saying you have it, but that looks like you might have the potential for it. But don't worry, most psychologists don't really think that's possible.

The best thing is to probably let your thoughts run instead of manipulating them, since they'll just come back even worse than before. But enough of me trying to be Oprah.

Honestly, when I started to get interested in dreaming, I've been interested in finding aspects of my personality and splitting it apart to make my brain have several mini-super computers instead of one gargantuan of information being divided within itself. But even if I were to do that, I would lose sense of reality (then again I really take for granted of living because I've almost died two times and literally thought no one was going to save me). I don't know...I want to be able to split my personality for knowledge, but be able to control it, like making some kind of pact with my subconscious that it's for a better and more fulfilling life because I can use those different aspects to become good in many things.

If I were to tell that to people in real life, the initial response would be that they would think I'm crazy, but I honestly, I rather be good in a lot of things instead of living like the average Joe constantly trying to remember things (though having your personality split would make it hard to remember things, but that's where dreaming can come in for you to bring them back to consciousness).

I'm going on a wild tangent again, sorry. It's just what you said sparked an interest I've had for a while now.

I hope you'll accomplish a zen-like state.

Don't worry, I won't.... I'm a lot happier of a person than I used to be. Back then when I got really delusional like that I was depressed enough that it seemed like my thoughts made a lot of sense, but these days I can remind myself that I don't actually feel that way, and I have some friends I've made over the years who are always willing to drop what they're doing to talk to me if I get to that state, though I try not to burden them with it. And yeah, that sounds about right.

I let my thoughts go that way for a while, but it usually gets too far if I let it. I know that still makes it sound like I'm manipulating them, though. There's two really distinct aspects to it mainly, and the rest is kind of a gray area. I like to think of them as the side where I want to do everything and the side where I want to do nothing.

The everything side is the one where all I think about is different ways to get euphoria, drugs or sex and fetishes or strange things like fantasizing about death, that's the side where I feel like I'm trapped in my own mind. I feel literally insatiable in that state of mind, like if you handed me a hundred hits of acid I would stick them in my mouth without a second's hesitation and then I'd start complaining about how I didn't have more. That mindset is the one that makes me feel crazy and it usually ends up being that I think so much about massive euphoria that the fact that I'm not in it makes me really depressed and then my thoughts start spiraling downward really fast and I start feeling like I'm having sensory overload.

The nothing side is the one where I get really emotional and am just really content with everything in life, or at least neutral about everything (when I was still depressed in general). I don't want to do anything but lie in bed and never have to deal with the real world ever again, and nothing beyond that. I don't care about any type of pleasure-seeking experience, that alone would be enough for me, although when I've had crushes I think about them in this mindset. That's one of the biggest dividing factors between them. That may not sound like it amounts to much (and I'm probably not explaining it as well as I hope) but it amounts to a huge change in personality. The crazy one makes me feel really eccentric and wild, and the normal one just makes me feel really laid back and open.

I kinda flip back and forth between based on a lot of different stuff, but especially stuff like music. That's the main thing I used these days to help switch myself between them. Also, more than I'd like to admit, when I'm one way it becomes much harder to remember a lot of thought processes I had when I was the other way, and stuff like that. The everything side feels much more dissociative than the nothing side, though.

I've thought about that kind of thing through dreaming, too. Maybe not as much as you have, though. I guess it'd be better to just say that it's occurred to me before. It'd definitely be an interesting experiment, but I don't think I want to experiment with my mind that much anymore. (<-- If I say things like this, I'm in the nothing mode. ) I feel the same way, though. There have been a few times when I didn't think I was going to survive drug overdoses. People probably would think you were crazy if you told them that, though. I think it's a reasonable thought. Most people just don't think about their minds that way.

Thanks for the good vibes. And sorry for the super long post!

Originally Posted by Linkzelda41

Like if I'm watching an adult film, my brain keeps giving me "What if someone saw this" moments CONSTANTLY
Then the experience isn't fun anymore because my brain keeps nagging me "Dude what if your crush saw this man?" or "What would your teachers think of you if they knew about this? You're not such a good boy anymore aren't you?"

My mind has multiple thoughts, and I think I'm creating them, I'm not to sure, but I think I've been more open to what my mind is saying since I've joined this forum. Or maybe it's just me being crazy.

I don't get that feeling watching porn, lol. It' like, someone catches me, not the end of the world. But if I'm watching something.... emotional, I guess, then I get that feeling. And I have no idea why. I keep having this show no god damn emotions feeling, but I'm slowly trying to... not do that, cause it almost drove me insane once
Like this -->

On the plus side, I get to act however I feel online, which is nice, cause since I stopped talking to my best friend, I haven't been letting any steam out.


And Alyzarin, I love how you use the most appropriate smileys at the perfect times, lol

Originally Posted by OldSparta

I don't get that feeling watching porn, lol. It' like, someone catches me, not the end of the world. But if I'm watching something.... emotional, I guess, then I get that feeling. And I have no idea why. I keep having this show no god damn emotions feeling, but I'm slowly trying to... not do that, cause it almost drove me insane once
Like this -->

On the plus side, I get to act however I feel online, which is nice, cause since I stopped talking to my best friend, I haven't been letting any steam out.


And Alyzarin, I love how you use the most appropriate smileys at the perfect times, lol

My sentiments exactly, this place is great, I don't have to hold back at all online. Why did you stop talking to your best friend?

And thanks! I try my best. I can't believe more people don't, having so many smileys at my disposal makes me feel like I can express myself better than ever!

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

My sentiments exactly, this place is great, I don't have to hold back at all online. Why did you stop talking to your best friend?

This was a awhile back, but mostly cause We don't she each other very often, and something about her boyfriend being jealous, or some crap like that. Plus I have a major crush on her, and she's engaged with her fiancé.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

And thanks! I try my best. I can't believe more people don't, having so many smileys at my disposal makes me feel like I can express myself better than ever!

Lol eh, most people are to lazy. the only reason I use it is to mostly get sarcasm across, lol.

<-- I love this smiley, lol. it's cute.