Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by Pris

I can't get a job. I'm doing everything that is in my power to find any kind of job, without waving my collage degree proudly, I'm not being arrogant or lazy. Any kind of job, waitress to begin with... Nothing. It's killing me, it makes me ill, I already have medical problems, on top of all I'm mentally abused by the person that feeds me so I'm loosing what's left of my patience and optimism. I began to push people away from me, cause I'm disgusted by my own behavior around others, that poor, naive enthusiasm that keeps loosing its credibility as I realize that I'm all words. Ideas and plans and wishes remain ideas and plans and wishes. I want to skydive. Is that ever going to happen??? Will I ever find the time and money to do it? EVER? This is just sad. I hate this. I just wanna work.

Yeah, it is rough finding a job with everyone getting college degrees and having the same competence as you. I worry about getting a job too after I graduate from college, I feel as if that I just have ambition and spirit, but that isn't enough to back up my ability to get job experience. Maybe you can ask your friends with a job to vouch for you in case there's an opening if you still can't find a job and hope for the best.

I find a lot of people I know do that lately in college/university, and most of the time they end up getting the job as well. And sometimes there are job openings, but they normally don't advertise them properly, which makes it feel like it's almost impossible to find a job opening.

I wish you the best, and when you realize that your ideas and wishes and just that unless you have something to fuel it, it does create a blemish on yourself because you're tired of the that prideful yet humble ambition that still turns to extreme idealism.

All I can say is dig deeper, hopefully other members here can give you suggestions on how to find some work, I'm sure there's an opportunity out there, it's probably just those who are giving it are probably doing a horrible job spreading it out.

I hope things turn around and you'll find what you are looking for.

EDIT: If you already have your degree (or not), you could go to your college and see if they will have job openings for small desk work or something like that, usually when you are/were a student, they'll still consider you a part of their life. I know mine does that a lot, maybe you can look to see if you can participate in helping with psychology experiments or something, I remember when I had to get credit for my Psychology course (14 hours of it) I saw people that looked like graduates being the instructors of the experiments. Then again some of those were probably volunteer work, but you never know.

Spoiler for Rant/Complaint:

I had a dream that Pam Beesly from The Office was bitching at me for doing something on a forum, and damn, she really elevated her bitching game at me, I felt like shit after that.

What the hell? And combine that with me seeing a lady's head get chopped to pieces and the blood spewing out while she's putting them back like a jig-saw puzzle is making me wonder if I should still lucid dream anymore.

It's like my mind doesn't want me to have fun or something. And these aren't nightmares, they don't scare me, it's just....it's just too fucking weird. I never knew I had this shit in my mind. And what's worse if that I'm seeing the experiences perfectly.

My mind always does this, and when I finally get lucid, everything is so pure and innocent and normal. It's like my superego or something is trying to freak me out with random dreams to distract my goal, like it's afraid of what I'm going to do...

Cliffs version: My dreams are showing me more sadistic and cruel things like guards being poisoned to death, a woman's head gets chopped off and is spewing all over the place, and bunch of other freaky shit that's degrading my purpose of trying to lucid dream in the first place.

Thank you for your words. Things will have to change, something will come up eventually, I just wish I could hold on a little more. The thing is, I even go from place to place with my CV, but the economic situation in my country has hit the bottom. Every business is closed or closing. There are a lot of people struggling with the same situation as I do. There has never been a worse time to be kicked in the world of adults.

Btw, I thought something looked wrong when I wrote: collage instead of college, but wasn't sure.

I made an edit to the previous post 3 minutes after you responded , maybe you could see if the college you went to has openings? Some of them might have volunteer work, but there can be others where you get paid. And even volunteering might shift you in the right direction because you can make more contacts to vouch for you.

If the education system in your area is still running, most likely you can find little cracks in the wall of opportunity and take advantage of it.

Other than that, I'll take my leave here

I am actually thinking about volunteering, nothing to do with college though. They haven't contacted me even though I was clear I needed help finding a job, so I assume they are not able to help. I'll contact them once again, to make sure. You're right, volunteering can push you in a whole new world of opportunities, but as I said, things in general are fucked up. I need a great amount of patience, nerves and luck.

Pris and everyone else in need.

"... me seeing a lady's head get chopped to pieces and the blood spewing out..." hehee, sounds like a normal night of dreaming to me

I didn't lose my son today. I have one more day with him. I have to drop him off at the DHHR tomorrow and 10 and they'll take him to a town just a couple of hours away. I'm VERY glad he's not being sent to Charlestown!! And he's going straight to the facility.
But I feel even more like crap because the Bailiff came up to me as we waited, called me by my first name and said I should wait inside the courtroom because where I was at was being occupied by people for Family Court.
Really? I'm such a familiar face there that he knows me by name

But I was able to briefly speak with the Case Worker who over-sees all of my kids and I told her my youngest daughter is talking about running and my oldest daughter should not be returned home to me or returned to our home town. I've come to realize that I am not what is best for my kids. If I can't supervise them as they need to ensure them better odds of staying out of trouble, then they need to be somewhere that can.
I also told her I want my son tested for Aspergers. Even if I'm way off base, there's *something* going on with him and hopefully they'll find it.

Otherwise, I'm still sore but fine.

Another freaking asshole, my English barrier doesn't mean I understood less of the things you know. My inability to formulate my responses properly doesn't need a reply from you indirectly hinting that it's hopeless to further discuss anything. I hate people who think their English is so good, to the extent that anyone who replies with a weird phrasing sentence becomes a troll.

Your English is amazing, in your posts at least. There are very few errors, and your sentence structure is a lot more complex than most native English speakers'.

i was asked to remove this avatar:



from a site i'm on where the members are predominantly white because it offended them.

i'm now using this:



and not one person gives a damn

Originally Posted by Carrot

Another freaking asshole, my English barrier doesn't mean I understood less of the things you know. My inability to formulate my responses properly doesn't need a reply from you indirectly hinting that it's hopeless to further discuss anything. I hate people who think their English is so good, to the extent that anyone who replies with a weird phrasing sentence becomes a troll.

Don't have worries companion.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

Your English is amazing, in your posts at least. There are very few errors, and your sentence structure is a lot more complex than most native English speakers'.

Thanks.

Originally Posted by Xei

Don't have worries companion.

It just pisses me off most of the times, that I find myself having trouble writing a decent reply back because of the limitation of my dictionary and inability to convert my thoughts to words when someone tries to get into a hostile conversation.

Originally Posted by greenhavoc

i was asked to remove this avatar:



from a site i'm on where the members are predominantly white because it offended them.

i'm now using this:



and not one person gives a damn

Is that supposed to make a difference? ._.

Well what is the relevant difference? There are many. I think the fact that the first guy is making an annoying face probably has a lot to do with why it was considered offensive.

I don't think that's why...

I fucked up.

I went to the second session of my metaphysics/ epistemology class. The teacher wasn't there, just a person saying that he wanted us to talk amongst ourselves about the first chapter in the book. I thought hey, this doesn't have to be too bad, so I waited for a cue to chime in. Everyone seemed to already know each other so they were already joking around. They only seemed interested in roughly talking about philosophical issues in jest. There were a few times when they said something that gave me a chance to bring up something I would have liked to talk about, "must math exist in all possible worlds?" for example. I was just about to say, since I didn't read the whole chapter "Did the book bring up math at all?""What do you think is the origin of math is?" maybe "I'm a math major and don't even know lol" just to introduce myself and get something going. It was literally on the tip of my tongue, but I stopped, because I felt like it would make the conversation too serious or something when they seemed to be enjoying the more casual atmosphere. I ended up saying nothing the whole time. I'm so frustrated at myself that I let that happen. I wish I could rewind back to that moment and just have said what I was going to say, at least to break the ice. That's never going to happen again.

Don't worry, you can break the ice whenever you want. People understand how it is, especially at university where everybody experiences the whole 'new social environment' thing several times. Everybody understands the situation and everybody is nervous; your mistake is just in thinking that you are different in this respect.

What are you studying, by the way? I wish my degree didn't have such a singular focus (as is common in the UK)... I should have gone to a more modern university where I could have done maths with philosophy on the side. But I didn't know my tastes back then... or I didn't understand the general deal with academia. Oh well.

Originally Posted by Xei

I don't think that's why...

Then why? I can't imagine the white lips themselves would have been offensive.

Originally Posted by Xei

Don't worry, you can break the ice whenever you want. People understand how it is, especially at university where everybody experiences the whole 'new social environment' thing several times. Everybody understands the situation and everybody is nervous; your mistake is just in thinking that you are different in this respect.

What are you studying, by the way? I wish my degree didn't have such a singular focus (as is common in the UK)... I should have gone to a more modern university where I could have done maths with philosophy on the side. But I didn't know my tastes back then... or I didn't understand the general deal with academia. Oh well.

Thanks a lot, I suppose everyone does go through this. I just feel like I shouldn't be so quiet, even at the expense of embarrassing myself or whatever, at least something lol My degree is called "Applied mathematics/ physics concentration". Maybe you could study philosophy independently and attend philosophy meetings if they're available if the actual class isn't required for your degree. I always wondered, do you actually go to Cambridge university, or is that just where you live? If so, do you shoot Stephan Hawking "what's up"s in the hallway?

Yeah, just always remember that if you randomly start talking to a random group, it's not a faux pas in any sense at all. Everybody is very socially free, especially at the beginning of something like that. Even if you have been silent previously, people understand completely and will like whatever you have to say, and involve you in the conversation.

I am at Cambridge, yes, studying maths. I kind of work on philosophy on my own as I have a very high propensity to speculate and systemise, and I'd already discovered all of the more profound truths that the historically major philosophers seem to be famous for; those I've heard of, anyway. It's largely just an issue of not actually knowing what I know and don't know... I worry about things I might not have considered, and I don't know which of my thoughts are original. I'd also like a wider base of knowledge to draw from... I plan on going into theoretical cognitive science and philosophy has certainly been important in forming my ideas so far.

I have a friend who's doing philosophy but he doesn't actually seem very educated in what I consider to be the fundamentals (epistemology and the like). People in general are surprisingly uninspiring. And bizarrely there's no philosophy society here.

Unfortunately I've never seen Hawking! But some of my friends have seen him trundling around, apparently.

Originally Posted by Carrot

Another freaking asshole, my English barrier doesn't mean I understood less of the things you know. My inability to formulate my responses properly doesn't need a reply from you indirectly hinting that it's hopeless to further discuss anything. I hate people who think their English is so good, to the extent that anyone who replies with a weird phrasing sentence becomes a troll.

Hold on Carrot - I don't think Solarflare was trying to make fun of you for bad English - I think he just thought it was funny and ironic that you wrote public hair rather than pubic hair. The irony being that you're complaining about him posting the picture on a public website.. (That little L makes all the difference.. )


Also, why on earth would a picture of a black person in whiteface be as offensive as one of someone in blackface? Blackface images are associated with racist treatment black people received which was condoned by society at large. White people have never suffered any such indignity.

Originally Posted by ThePreserver

The TOTAL GYM?!

Yes!!!!!!!!!!!

Sometimes it sucks to be an atheist. I'd like to make a complaint about this world, but I have no-one to direct it to.

Originally Posted by khh

Sometimes it sucks to be an atheist. I'd like to make a complaint about this world, but I have no-one to direct it to.

We will listen to your complaints!

Even though we're all part of the problem.

I've spent in the region of 8000 Dollars on hard drugs in the past 4 months

anything to feel weightless again

The Preserver, have you used the total gym :O