Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

I worked on a landscaping crew for a few months. I was a laborer and often days my crew boss didn't speak English. I often made more than my boss simply because I was white. Companies will certainly pay Hispanics less if they think they can get away with it.

The fact that candy-ass "civilized" people can't unify to improve our lot is the reason that we deserve the life of servitude that so many of us get. Were you to roll up on a band of wild humans and attempt to impose this kind of crap on them, they would be arguing over who got to eat your shoulder while you were still alive.

Originally Posted by sefalik

I don't think companies here in the states lower the wages for hispanic employees... instead, I think hispanic people in general are just more willing to do jobs other people wouldn't consider, such as working on a line in a factory (which is what I did, prior to my promotion to "quality auditor").

They don't lower them specifically for Hispanics. Some just prefer or need to pay as little as possible, and they'll do whatever they can to save that dollar, including hiring cheap labor.

I used to pick my friend up from work, a company that made buttons, you know, like for politicians and events. Anyway, the women who worked in the back were all illegals, and the owner would pay them below minimum wage, and they were willing to work just to make what they could. The owner was an ass, he way overextended himself, I'm glad that jerk went bankrupt!

Living along the border with Mexico, and driving all along I-10, you can see the immigration issues first-hand. Sadly, so much of our agriculture is dependent on migrant workers, and the pay is junk, but as a society we tolerate it because no one wants to triple the price for oranges or worry about drug-testing field workers because in all honesty, there probably isn't a more deserving group of people who should get high after work, but most wouldn't because they can't afford it or would be afraid to lose their job.

I'm tired, so I'm not thinking clearly. I'm probably not maing sense. I just know that some jobs need testing, cheaper labor will ALWAYS be available, and many Hispanics work damn hard to make this country go, and still have to put up with a lot of crap. Damn.

Think I need to go to bed soon.

everytime i recieve a holiday or birthday card from a "so-called" friend or family member, they write the most beautiful words but its like deep down i know its all bullshit. they only do it because they feel they have to. this is why i stop giving gifts on holidays. and the results is that fewer and fewer people give me anything anymore which is exactly what i want.

Originally Posted by tropicalbreeze

everytime i recieve a holiday or birthday card from a "so-called" friend or family member, they write the most beautiful words but its like deep down i know its all bullshit. they only do it because they feel they have to. this is why i stop giving gifts on holidays. and the results is that fewer and fewer people give me anything anymore which is exactly what i want.

Exactly, and when my father tells me that I should call them to tell them "Thank You," it's not even necessary for me to call them because when I do, they're like "Oooh? It's no problem." And that passive demeanor they give me, it's like, I don't even care about my half-sisters anymore.

And should I actually meet them again, it's just going to be fake expressions of happiness until I'm done and back to where I'm living.

Like, STOP TRYING TO TELL ME TO THANK PEOPLE FATHER.

I hate how parents try to compensate for lost time for not trying to build a bond with their child. It gets so annoying, especially living in a country (here at least) that promotes inevitable independence from family (I'm not talking about financial backup, just putting physical barriers to where they can't bitch and complain at every petty little shit they can conjure up about me).

Today is a terrible down day. I'm scaring myself too. I'm worried I might just sink back to depression again. I barely know what I'm upset over, just overwhelmed by my country's negativity and my own worthlessness, and my friend text back telling me if I feel like killing myself whenever I feel worthless, I would have died a dozen times. It's so hard to live. I guess I'm overburdened by a lot of things that can't be seen.

*hugs* Carrot.


Come play in the Bluebonnets!

It's not really a Quick Reply if it takes a full minute, now is it???


Curse my inactivity. I need to go to the park today.

Only got 5 and a half hours of sleep e____e can't.fall.back.

Sickness. :< *sneeze*

Originally Posted by Carrot

Today is a terrible down day. I'm scaring myself too. I'm worried I might just sink back to depression again. I barely know what I'm upset over, just overwhelmed by my country's negativity and my own worthlessness, and my friend text back telling me if I feel like killing myself whenever I feel worthless, I would have died a dozen times. It's so hard to live. I guess I'm overburdened by a lot of things that can't be seen.

If you focus on negative stuff, you'll feel negative. There's a reason I don't have cable and generally ignore reading up on the latest political garbage. Even song lyrics... I don't even pay attention to lyrics, but I noticed that listening to songs with depressing vocals actually does change my mood even if I'm not really paying attention to them. May sound silly, but one day I was blasting Tom Waits all afternoon. That night, I got unintentionally drunk (which is something I pretty much never do, because I don't like the effects of alcohol) off of whiskey... hmm.

Seriously though, you're mind works similarly to your stomach. Feed yourself greasy garbage and you're body will run like crap. Feed yourself good healthy food and your body will run clean and feel great. So, feed your mind negativity and you will also feel like crap. Positive thoughts will provoke more positivity in your life. It's hard to make a switch, and may even seem "lame" or "fake," especially if you are well-aware and conscious of the negative aspects all around us. But note, there's a difference between ignoring something versus taking a step back. I'm not saying you should just ignore problems and negativity. Rather, take a step back and realize it for what it is. Don't get attached. Similar to seeing a lion in a zoo. You wouldn't feel to safe if there was no fence between you and the beast. When you come across negativity, you want to create that same fence to protect you, otherwise it'll eat you up...

Originally Posted by sefalik

If you focus on negative stuff, you'll feel negative. There's a reason I don't have cable and generally ignore reading up on the latest political garbage. Even song lyrics... I don't even pay attention to lyrics, but I noticed that listening to songs with depressing vocals actually does change my mood even if I'm not really paying attention to them. May sound silly, but one day I was blasting Tom Waits all afternoon. That night, I got unintentionally drunk (which is something I pretty much never do, because I don't like the effects of alcohol) off of whiskey... hmm.

Seriously though, you're mind works similarly to your stomach. Feed yourself greasy garbage and you're body will run like crap. Feed yourself good healthy food and your body will run clean and feel great. So, feed your mind negativity and you will also feel like crap. Positive thoughts will provoke more positivity in your life. It's hard to make a switch, and may even seem "lame" or "fake," especially if you are well-aware and conscious of the negative aspects all around us. But note, there's a difference between ignoring something versus taking a step back. I'm not saying you should just ignore problems and negativity. Rather, take a step back and realize it for what it is. Don't get attached. Similar to seeing a lion in a zoo. You wouldn't feel to safe if there was no fence between you and the beast. When you come across negativity, you want to create that same fence to protect you, otherwise it'll eat you up...

I think I was doing it the wrong way when I told myself to accept negative things without protecting myself. There are truths in negative things and I've been called navie more than once. To them it's like everything in the "real world" or "adult's world" is negative. I'll ponder over what you said!

Originally Posted by Erii

Only got 5 and a half hours of sleep e____e can't.fall.back.

That's because Erii and I stayed up all night skyping :3

XD.

Originally Posted by Mancon

That's because Erii and I stayed up all night skyping :3

XD.

Could have done what these two did!

I tried telling my father on volunteer work I can do during the summer to help with my Resume. Of course, he's going to declare his limited perspective on what he thinks volunteering is.

He tells me I can get the same experience by getting a small job, and that volunteering isn't going to help you get money.

Wait...wait..I wasn't fucking talking about volunteering helping me get money. Are you so full of shit to believe that I'm not cognizant of this? He believes what I told him is some kind of storybook tale, and goes on professing his bullshit on what he thinks volunteering is.

But he's not listening to what I'm saying, he's implying that I'm focused only on volunteering to get a good word on my resume, but in fact, I'm only mentioning as part of something to make me more than qualified in the workforce when I graduate from college.

I'm suppressing my rage, and I was this close from using my cynical demeanor towards him, I RARELY have that temptation, but if he kept professing more bullshit, I honestly don't know how I'd feel, because I would already know that I would start playing mind games with him to where he'll have to admit that the suggestions he told me before were full of shit, and then he'll try to get off topic and go back to his ignorant view on volunteering vs. having a job for money.


Here he goes on with his little lecture on People working for money, even if they don't like it, they're just in it for the money.

Like WOOOOAH I NEVER KNEW THAT! THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR GIVING ME THIS AMAZING REALIZATION TO ME!?!?

Are you seriously telling me this lecture? Are you seriously telling this? Are you fucking kidding me? I continuing suppressing being cynical towards him, and I tried talking about how I have to look for research as well.

I'm trying to tell him these things because I'm giving him something to think about. These are long term goals, not goals I want to finish only in this semester in college.

But no, he's not understanding this shit, I tell him that doing volunteering can help getting references for things like research, etc.

And he just....I just see him break down to the point where I just feel he's not really in synch with reality anymore. He's wondering what the hell I mean by references, and tells me that me graduating alone is enough to convince employers to consider me in the work force.

Wait wait wait, you're giving me another lecture that contradicts what you told me before? You told me that there are people already graduated before me (no shit Sherlock, you're really a fucking genius) and that people with PhDs are still struggling to find a job.

Did you not remember that? And now you're telling me that me graduating from college alone, taking 4 years, just 4 years of competence, competence that is generic right now.

You're telling me just because I graduate from one of the top public universities in Texas, and even in the nation is enough for good word on my Resume?

Are you so full of shit that just graduating, which isn't really that hard (look at how many people get generic grades and still graduate), is enough for me to be qualified? Did you not remember what you told me of being able to get good grades is important because it will show that I'm capable of doing the work whatever industry/corporation/whatever will offer me?

Then when I tell him I can easily be textbook smart after he gives me another ignorant small talk that college is just being able to read books.

Well, for undergraduate studying, no shit. No fucking shit you fucking genius. More lectures that you think you're obligated to give me, it just, amazes me that I'm clearly seeing him expressing hypocrisy, inverting it, turning it into shit, forgetting what he said, and then recycling this thought process over and over.

And then when I tell him that I don't want to only focus on volunteering, when I clearly told him nearly 10 times already, he suddenly says, "Oooh well if you can mix both working and volunteering, that's no problem."

My face....my face....I literally wanted to drop my jaw, and just look at him weirdly, but of course, that would just make things worse, so I have to suppress the urge to almost laugh insanely at the kid lecture he's giving me.

Then he tells me that since I'm an adult, you don't have to worry about being force fed with what to do.

Another lecture.....thanks! As if I didn't know that? Then what really made it hard to suppress my anger more is when he indirectly attacks me with how teenagers these days reach a point of their lives where they think they know more than they're parents.

You honestly did NOT just use that really horrible attack on me just now to think that I know everything? Just because you lived longer than me, doesn't mean you're a guru.

People can learn what you experienced in a shorter time span, it's inevitable because information is everywhere, but here you are stuck in your nostalgic shit on how you think you have the right to declare you know more about college than I do.

And I say that because he always told me I had to stay on top with managing the money and all that, and clearly, I did! It wasn't really that hard, he made me look like I had some complicated role.

I literally gave him baby steps on what he needed to do, if I can easily help you help me, what does that make you?

Is he honestly keeping track of this? It's too late for you to give me small take and lectures that were already engrained waaaaay before I got into college.

When I see people who are able to interact with their parents just fine, you're honestly not knowing how much they're repressing just to make it look like it's a stable family.

And even when I had moments where I realize my father as a person rather than a parent, that still doesn't give me incentive to respect him at all. It makes me hate him because he is not educated enough.

You don't just watch the media giving you generic concepts of how the world operates and think of it as some new knowledge and give it to your child like that.

That just shows how fucking stupid you are, just because you read a few articles that clearly do not have enough reliability in their sources, doesn't mean you can be a Dilbert and start professing basic human practices to me.

And you telling me that I need to focus on getting my drivers license, when I clearly am telling you long term goals that you think I want to finish during the summer, I already know you want me to take care of the short-term goal of getting my license, you don't need to tell me that!

And when you compare my life to some other child who is still in High School (who is obviously one of those idiots that parents don't even realize, it's like they pull out a random piece of paper with their name on it out of a magician's hat), and how he has a job working minimum wage, doesn't mean I'm going suddenly have a a rudimentary change in mindset and say,

"Oh, if he's working and is still in High School, I should do the same!"

There's a difference when you're the on top percentile and clearly will have money handed to you for your hard work rather than being a shithead in High School and having to get a job to pay for tuition.

He doesn't understand that, I honestly wonder if he even thinks how I managed to get so much money, especially when things were almost too late for me to get it.

I obviously didn't pull it out of my ass. I obviously had a brain. And I remember when I used to show him one of my essays where I would get a 98 or above 100, he would ask me if I wrote it.

LOL. LOL. LOOOOOL.

My father? Is this the role fathers have to live in? Because I honestly do not want to grow up having a child being ignorant towards them, and treating them like they won't know anything by the time they grow up to be adults.

Even if I see him as a person instead of a parent, I will never even bother trying to be sympathetic towards him.

It's the shit he tells me, and forgets it, and when I mention his shit back at him that makes me see how absent-minded he is, and his view on how college/universities work out is clearly on the level of shit.

Fuck you. I clearly did remarkable academically, and now in college, I don't really find the motivation anymore.

Sure I can be motivated to show him how much of a shithead he is when I can get a good salary right off the bat when I want to be serious, but that ambition is just proving someone wrong, and that's not worth it.

I can't find motivation in improving myself anymore, I want to, but when I hear contradicting standards from him, I just can't help but let them linger in my mind.

I can let them phase out, but it's going to keep coming back because I know he's going to be down my throat until he's dead.

I think this is why I'm focusing on finding guidance in my dreams.

Pathetic, I know that's a pathetic reason to dream, but it's better than listening to this asshole.

Originally Posted by Mancon

That's because Erii and I stayed up all night skyping :3

XD.

"everyone else is starving and not wanting to die" xD

I like your signature.

My rant is that I can hardly straighten my arms after the workout on Friday... We were doing some exercises to train the biceps. I guess they worked, but ouch! Oh well, at least this only happens the first time you properly work out a muscle group in a while.

It's only 81 degrees, but it still feels way hot.

I usually don't turn on the A/C until we reach 90, but I really want to. It's starting to get warm at night.


Guess I'll be drinking a lot more ice water.

I have an ulcer on my gums that hurts like a bitch.

edit: oh, and I got a parking ticket from the campus police in a place with no warning signs.

Originally Posted by Wayfaerer

I have an ulcer on my gums that hurts like a bitch.

Ever heard of a product called Gly-Oxide? Should be able to find it at your local grocery store or Walgreens equivalent. Use it, works great on mouth ulcers!

Feel better!

I look at my electricity and utilities bill, it comes up to be $112+

My apartment has like...I don't know?? 3 freaking main lights? I'm so living in the darkness from now on....and the Heater/ A/c? I'm turning it off, I don't care if I'm shivering at night...this is too freaking outrageous.

Either the meters are jacked up, or they're increasing the KWH ratio now.....this is BS. $112 freaking dollars? I could get 17 Sweet and Sour Chicken To Go Lunch special with that money!

My eyes WILL be adjusted to the darkness.

Originally Posted by OldSparta

Could have done what these two did!

Awwwww me and CT used to do that on msn. I would fall asleep and when I woke up sometimes, he would leave me a little sweet note in front of the webcam. I always find such romantic guys. My rant would be that my feet hurt from two 15-hour shifts.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

I look at my electricity and utilities bill, it comes up to be $112+
My apartment has like...I don't know?? 3 freaking main lights? I'm so living in the darkness from now on....and the Heater/ A/c? I'm turning it off, I don't care if I'm shivering at night...this is too freaking outrageous.
Either the meters are jacked up, or they're increasing the KWH ratio now.....this is BS. $112 freaking dollars? I could get 17 Sweet and Sour Chicken To Go Lunch special with that money! My eyes WILL be adjusted to the darkness.

You might want to check out your meter. I know water rates are high but you may also want to look at your consumption in gallons. If things don't add up for your personal usage of kilowatts or gallons of water, it's time for an investigation and a complaint.

Could be another apt. is hijacking your utillities.

I have high-flush toilets and do a lot of laundry, and I'm using about 6,000 gallons per month. You probably don't use 1,000, unless you shower frequently.

Check your appliances..they might be running too much. The refrigerator can be a big culprit, but so can any devices like computers that use power 24 hours a day even when not on.

Hope your bills come down.

Originally Posted by melanieb

Ever heard of a product called Gly-Oxide? Should be able to find it at your local grocery store or Walgreens equivalent. Use it, works great on mouth ulcers!

Feel better!

Thanks! I'll see if I can get some tonight.

4 AM, I can't sleep and I have to get up at 7. And it's not like I haven't been trying properly either, I've been lying there for almost three hours... >.<