Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by tommo

It's probably a good thing that you don't feel much effects from opiates.

I used to be able to get pretty high with 30-40mg of Codeine (before tolerance of course).
Since you crave the dopamine rush, it would suck if opiates actually gave it to you.
And undoubtedly you can still get pain relief if it's serious as they have ridiculously strong opioids for hospital use.

I didn't know Ketamine was a d2 agonist. Thought it pretty much exclusively binded to NMDA receptors.

Yeah, probably lol. For a while they weren't exactly hard for me to come by, which definitely could've gone badly. And yeah, I'm not worried about if I actually need them in a hospital setting because if they have to they'll just keep shooting me up until it works. That's what they did to my dad, anyway.

I do sometimes wish I knew what all the hype is about, though.

Ketamine is all kinds of things, like basically all NMDA antagonists. Its different isomers have varying affinities, but aside from that its mechanisms of action as far as I'm aware are as a serotonin-dopamine-norepinephrine reuptake inhibitor, D2 agonist, mu- and kappa-opioid agonist, sigma agonist, and anticholinergic (both nicotinic and muscarinic, if I'm not mistaken). I also remember reading something about some obscure channel it inhibits causing some hypnotic effects.... I believe its main effects come from the NMDA/D2 effects and altered monoamine transport, though.

All the drugs I've tried with D2 have had the exact same feelings and types of hallucinations that are instantly recognizable to me. Any description of D2 effects I could give would fall very much short of how amazing they are, but for me they mostly involve lots of highly sexualized entity contact. Cannabinoids also supercharge my sex drive and D2 does that on its own by lowering prolactin, so I wouldn't be surprised if that's a big part of it, too. Ketamine definitely has that same feel to it, it's my second favorite drug after LSD because of it. It's actually the most realistic of them that I've tried, almost undoubtedly because of the NMDA antagonism. It's a pretty interesting experience, though I can honestly say I've never met anyone else who feels those D2 effects as strongly as I do so I don't know how much of that might be considered the norm for it. I get sexual entities on salvia too but my friends just end up horrified lol.

I should mention too that such effects were completely absent from all of my DXM experiences, and DXM is known not to bind to D2, so I'm pretty certain it's not just a dissociative effect (though I could vouch for that because of its presence in my LSD and high dose 2C-I trips as well). For what it's worth, lots of people say that ketamine and DXM are very comparable, but this effect makes all the difference for me. I probably am just overly sensitive to it. But, it's possible that you might get some of this boost as well because I'm pretty sure that part of it also has to do with how D2 colocalizes with 5-HT2A in certain areas of the brain, and I'm fairly certain the OCD is to blame for all drugs that work through 5-HT2A being a bit more connecting to my subconscious and natural or spiritual feeling for me than my friends. Hard to say how far that will take you, though. I do think that this opioid/cannabinoid thing is significant as well.

Well, hopefully I'm lucky enough to get some Ketamine one day and I'll tell you what happens lol

There you go hurting my brain again, Aly

I've never truly understood drugs. Pot makes me feel "car sick", Hydros do nothing except perhaps make me sleepy, Coedine makes me puke, something which was supposedly Heroine made me sleepy but thoughtful.
The only drug I truly loved (besides nicotine and caffeine lol and the calm from SI) is Laughing Gas. It makes me hallucinate and I get "brain zaps" from it that sort of counter the drowsy effect. It psychs me out and makes me more creative. But I avoid it like the plague because I had a tendency to overdo it.

Back in 1997 or so, I had ALL of my teeth pulled over the period of about a month (one side a week). I don't know the drug the "Dentist" used but every time I saw him I needed more and more and by the end it barely worked. He asked my grandmother (who was paying for it) if I was a drug user because he had given me enough of the drug to knock out an entire football team plus the coach It was a brutal process and I still have nightmares about it. Back then, I had tried pot about twice and years earlier.

Then the last time I went in for surgery, I woke up from the drugs struggling to breathe and in the throes of a major panic attack.
I pray I never need surgery ever again because of those 2 times with the doctors.

My rant is that I'm jittery. When I showed hubby my skull thing, he asked if I was on caffeine because I was shaking so much (I wasn't). I ended up going back to sleep from around 11:30-4 and I woke up still jittery. What the heck?
I'm also still running a low grade fever, which bolsters the likelihood that the tinnitus is related to an ear infection... though my ear doesn't hurt anymore.
My temp is currently 99.5 but my body feels like it's on fire (to the touch) yet I'm chilled. If I put on a long sleeved shirt, I get hot lol (I run around my room in leggings and a tank top normally )
Blec...

**EDIT**
... and THEN I had the brilliant idea of applying cheap super glue to my SI cuts. I figured it would serve as a sort of "fake skin" that I could then apply concealer to
It crinkled almost immediately. It hid nothing. Then the dryness got on my last nerve so I pulled my skin in different directions to break the glue, which made the wrinkles worse and reopened my wounds
I then spent the next hour or so, scaping the stuff off with my blade and now the marks are more noticeable than ever And it feels like I have razor burn, plus I have a rash
MAJOR fail, stupid lol

Oh well, time to try to sleep a bit more...

This semester of online classes was the absolute worst. I will NEVER take all online again. I want to avoid doing any online from now on. There have been so many frustrating malfunctions with at least two of my classes and the teachers just don't care. I'm glad I got to review two of them, because they were horrible. lol I was kind of mean about my sociology teacher. I'm pretty sure I told them that if it weren't for the amount of issues I had to email her about, I probably wouldn't have remembered her name because she was soooo uninvolved. It's like she just set the entire class up to work on it's own and made NO effort to fix issues. Because of her, I missed out on a 40 point quiz, and that's apparently my fault. Now with my Foundations of Education teacher, she disabled a quiz that wasn't due until TONIGHT--and I had planned on taking the FINAL that was supposed to open up today, but it wasn't open and her dumb ass decided not to CHECK. You'd think if you have given your students a due date on the same date as the final, you might check your fucking email in case of questions and ERRORS. God. Online classes are just simply B.S. Online INSTRUCTORS that is.

Whatever. I'll be done by Wednesday for sure and I am not enrolling next semester. Fuck that. I'm taking it easy and focusing on my kids.

Rant: There's so much frickin' DV stuff to check up on. I've barely been on for the last few days because I've just been thinking about stuff nonstop, I've pretty much just been checking this thread and a couple others here and there. I really need to get on that....

I've been researching a possible role of endogenous tryptamine all morning and I just finished reading through this article on it I bought. It's crazy how much stuff is mostly unknown about it, especially stuff like related to reuptake. Tryptamine is known to inhibit the reuptake of serotonin, and it's possible that it does this just by competing for transport in the same way that phenethylamine inhibits the reuptake of dopamine and norepinephrine. But interestingly, fluoxetine (Prozac) was found to inhibit the reuptake of tryptamine along with serotonin, whereas zimelidine and cocaine only effect serotonin (and dopamine and norepinephrine, for the latter). That means you definitely can make a distinction between the two, and I wonder if there could be a selective tryptamine reuptake inhibitor as well? But that's significant, because the article goes on to describe how tryptamine positively and negatively modulates the serotonin system in different ways and even binds to separate serotonin-insensitive receptors. If not all serotonin reuptake inhibitors increase tryptamine levels as well, then that means that drugs like fluoxetine are not truly selective and likely have some other factors to take into consideration. And what about changes in tryptamine reuptake with recreational drugs (aside from cocaine)? Do meth/amphetamine, MDMA, methylone, AMT, etc., induce the release of tryptamine? Does it play a significant role in the pharmacology of any of them? And cannabinoids inhibit MAO enzymes (which I'm guessing might be related to their increased phenethylamine levels), which could prevent the metabolism of tryptamine and increase its effects and duration. Now that I have information about how tryptamine alters the activity of serotonin and other systems there's a lot more to consider with these things.

Tryptamine is actually a serotonin releasing agent itself. So I wonder if that means a selective reuptake inhibitor or releasing agent of tryptamine would also have significant serotonin effects? Just not as significant or as wide-ranging as an exogenous SSRI/RA. Serotonin increases are enhanced by inhibiting the reuptake of dopamine, so it makes me wonder if it would be neat to have something like a tryptamine-dopamine-norepinephrine releasing agent. I know that tryptamine has supposedly significant activity as a NMDA antagonist as well, and that could definitely contribute substantial effects to any drug.... Actually, I wonder if MDMA might specifically might have a lot of tryptamine activity, because it can get very dissociative in high doses. AMT would probably stand out as well since it's basically the closest psychedelic in structure to tryptamine and trip reports describe it as being very vivid and dream-like, too. It's pretty hard to say at this point, but there are a lot of potential implications....

Bah.

Originally Posted by tommo

Well, hopefully I'm lucky enough to get some Ketamine one day and I'll tell you what happens lol

Sounds good, I can always use more trip reports.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

There you go hurting my brain again, Aly

I've never truly understood drugs. Pot makes me feel "car sick", Hydros do nothing except perhaps make me sleepy, Coedine makes me puke, something which was supposedly Heroine made me sleepy but thoughtful.
The only drug I truly loved (besides nicotine and caffeine lol and the calm from SI) is Laughing Gas. It makes me hallucinate and I get "brain zaps" from it that sort of counter the drowsy effect. It psychs me out and makes me more creative. But I avoid it like the plague because I had a tendency to overdo it.

Back in 1997 or so, I had ALL of my teeth pulled over the period of about a month (one side a week). I don't know the drug the "Dentist" used but every time I saw him I needed more and more and by the end it barely worked. He asked my grandmother (who was paying for it) if I was a drug user because he had given me enough of the drug to knock out an entire football team plus the coach It was a brutal process and I still have nightmares about it. Back then, I had tried pot about twice and years earlier.

Then the last time I went in for surgery, I woke up from the drugs struggling to breathe and in the throes of a major panic attack.
I pray I never need surgery ever again because of those 2 times with the doctors.

Sorry, I just find it all so interesting.

You sound like you might just be sensitive to side effects from analgesics, I have a friend who's the same way. Aside from the opiates since, like I said, I'm naturally tolerant, I find most drugs to be extremely euphoric. That's mainly why I haven't tried laughing gas yet lol. I remember you talking about you using it before, your dentist must have been pretty shocked. I hope you never have to go through one of those surgery experiences again, though.

If I used nitrous I would probably do it way too often, too. All of the descriptions of the high that I've heard sound like heaven. Probably best to stay away from it for now. >.>

Over the past few days, I've noticed several cars stop and park to the side for a few minutes (10-30) and then drive off. Always a house or two away from mine. It's probably nothing, but idk - kinda strange.

As for my rant - I have to get a haircut. Hate getting haircuts. -.-"

I think it's about time for another good, old fashioned psychedelic neurochemistry rant. This story may seem a bit too romantic to my fellow psychedelic enthusiasts, but it's just something that came to mind.

As I said, I've been thinking about tryptamine all day. I read in the article about it I bought that it's theorized to work as opposite to serotonin. It binds to serotonin receptors as an agonist but has very low activity and so it behaves more like an antagonist. That got me thinking about 2C-B, 2C-C, 2C-D, and 2C-I. All four of them are said to behave antagonistically to serotonin because of their low efficacies, but what's significant is that they still activate the part of the 5-HT2A receptor that serotonin doesn't as agonists. I'm pretty sure that's why they still cause psychedelic hallucinations and ego loss even considering that. They're also, or at least 2C-B and 2C-I were for me, much less emotionally intense and more stimulant-like than other psychedelics. I've heard about people getting psychedelic effects from tryptamine as well, so if it's true that it blocks serotonergic activity then it might be this same way. Tryptamine is also a NMDA antagonist and so it could cause dissociative effects. I started thinking about what it's effects in the prefrontal cortex would be. Decreased serotonin activity disrupts rational thought processes and activation of the serotonin-insensitive function of 5-HT2A causes distortions of ego. It also deactivates metabotropic glutamate receptors, which I'm presuming is why it's known to block the neurotoxicity of NMDA antagonism. This of course frees tryptamine up to cause an out-of-body experience by blocking those receptors.

That's when I really got to thinking. The theory in the paper was that the tryptamine system opposed the serotonin system, and serotonin is the chemical related to calm, happy, and carefree mindsets. I started thinking, what if tryptamine is part of a stress reaction? What if norepinephrine release or something related to it in the prefrontal cortex caused an increase in tryptamine levels that amounted for the dissociation, time dilation, instinctive reactions, and loss of emotional reactions from heavy adrenaline rushes? I once thought that norepinephrine was somehow at the core of 5-HT2A ego loss, but now I'm thinking it could be the other way around. They say that 5-HT2A is involved in stress and depression, and psychedelics definitely set your mind on overdrive, but if tryptamine works the way I think it does then this could actually block those feelings and let you remain calm while still having psychedelic distortions of reality. The reason no psychedelic synesthesia or sensory hallucinations would be involved is because those happen in the visual cortex and this is all confined to the prefrontal cortex, but it would still cause the same kind of out-of-body effects. If all of that is true, then it's possible that near-death experiences could actually result from the significant increase of tryptamine activity, which would make them psychedelic in nature. And if you ever actually read vivid descriptions of typical near-death OBEs, they definitely sound that way. This ties me back to when I was thinking that the out-of-body effects of adrenaline rushes must be tied into the same dopamine release that gets adrenaline junkies hooked, the one that happens in the mesolimbic pathway in response to prefrontal norepinephrine, which has also been identified in playing a role in the reward of stimulants and opioids. That dopamine pathway is known for being one of the key things involved in dreams, when that part of the brain is deactivated dreams just don't form. However, the prefrontal cortex has been more closely tied to out-of-body experiences. Interestingly, the mesolimbic pathway has a function called the amygdala hijack where in a moment of intense stress it can shut down the function of the prefrontal cortex, which is how the adrenaline rush effect works. With all that considered, it certainly made it seem like mesolimbic dopamine would be what was causing the increase in tryptamine levels in the prefrontal cortex.

Here's where it gets interesting. I remember finding a quote by Rick Strassman a while back saying that he found evidence that DMT levels increase during intense stress, like when you're approaching death. I really wish I knew where he got this information from, but there were no links to it. However, what's significant about it is that DMT is a direct metabolite of tryptamine. DMT only exists in the brain because tryptamine is metabolizing into it, which means that if DMT levels increase then tryptamine levels have probably increased even more. If DMT appears in situation of extreme stress, it would make sense to suggest that that means a very strong effect from tryptamine might be reached by that point. If this is the case, that would mean that dreams (and sex, and basically all recreational drug highs) also increase the levels of tryptamine in the prefrontal cortex. Since dopamine levels are at their very highest during dreams, this would cause high levels of tryptamine to shut down the serotonin receptor function of the prefrontal cortex and put you in that instinctive, non-lucid mindset, aside from the psychedelic and dissociative properties which would then be used to form the out-of-body experience that is the dream world. Significantly, DMT would not play a role because it activates serotonin receptors and serotonin receptors are very inactive during REM (correlating with tryptamine), but it would be present. It's possible that it may still bind to other receptors and have effects, but it's hard to say. This also ties into why the aforementioned 2C-x psychedelics are more stimulant-like because they feel more like the energy of REM than the usual emotional intensity of drugs like the classical psychedelics.

So, now back to my same old complaint. There's no hope of proving this right now, and may not be for some time.

But... but... but.... I want to know....

Just found out my uncle died. Second one this year.

It's irritating seeing the lightning flashing, makes me scared and frustrated at the same time although I know it can't hurt me from where I am. >.<

Auron, Carrot, Gavin.

And as always, VERY interesting info, Aly (even if I don't understand most of it ).

I LOVE thunderstorms, Carrot, but heavy rain triggered tornado dreams earlier I LOVE storms. Tornadoes seem to be a strange new-ish anxiety of mine though.
In the dream, I was gliding (half hearted flying lol) off of a hill where I had been visiting with some people. I was trapped in a minor whirlwind for a few moments. It dissipated quickly. But in the distance, I saw the mother of all tornadoes coming right our way. Some people were hanging outside our (hubby and mine) hotel room and I told them to get inside quickly. Then hubby and I got naked and into a tub full of water lol. The bathroom had a huge glass door and I wondered why the heck we were hiding there.
Don't remember much after that.
As much as I love storms, I HATE tornado dreams.

Another recent dream theme is that I'm in some other country and I can't find my ID or passport.

An anti-rant is that I heard from Miley (Myles) again today. "He's" gone completely girl now except for surgery and he's happy with it, so I'm happy. She's doing okay, it seems... even talked about maybe coming home in the Spring.
We shall see.

I had hubby give me some antibiotics today. I take 4 a day for 5 days then 2 until they're gone. If my ears not cleared up by then, I'll have to go see a Doctor.

@Zhaylin: I think it's an anxiety thing that's why I don't like the lightnings. Otherwise I love listening to the sound of thunderstorms, if I don't get to see it.

What happened to Myles? I think I missed out a huge part of the story.

Rant: So yesterday I decided to go out in the cold without a jacket. Just a black shirt, regular jeans. It was probably at least 30-50 degrees. Felt like a nice day, except for the wind blasting on my face.

So when I come back home, the heater is set to 80 degrees, so I get a "nice" welcome with a sudden blast of warmth. I start getting the sniffles at first, then I when I wake up today, my nose is stuffy and I'm afraid of releasing all that disgusting stuff from my nose. :s

It's my fault for blasting the heater in advance after going out in the cold. I hate this body so much, sweat is horrible. I know I don't have any major illnesses, but still, I'm disgusted with the body I'm in either way. Even though it prevents me from getting heat strokes, and I can deal with extreme amounts of heat, it's still has that annoying consequence.

I need to make an 80 to get a B on my U.S. Class, and my Sociology Exam starts in 3 hours, but I'm prepared for it, but still, I want to get an A because I know I failed one class, and I have to pull off some miracle for math tomorrow morning. It's multiple choice, and I can just memorize the formulas, but what good with that do when this woman gives us mediocre review sessions, mediocre homework, and mediocre notes?

She's going to curve, she has to curve, she better curve.....but what can I do? Just make invisible threats for her to curve? Loool.

Anti-Rant:

Got another payment for blogging, and it went faster than the last one. 4,100+ views so far. Glad I have extra side change that can help pay the easy bills.

What's your blog Link?
You get money from ads?


Rave: Geminid Meteor Shower tomorrow night. And the whole world gets to see it!
I'm going to go up to some mountains near me and try and get a good view.
Rant: Tried viewing 4179 Toutatis (asteroid) tonight, as it is at its closest point to Earth at the moment, but it is too small to see through my telescope (and probably light pollution isn't helping either grrrr).

I can't provide that information to you, but it's based on the number of views, comments, and likes I get.

Originally Posted by tommo

Rave: Geminid Meteor Shower tomorrow night. And the whole world gets to see it!

I need to try to remember that lol.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

And as always, VERY interesting info, Aly (even if I don't understand most of it ).

Thanks, Zhay. It's all just theory at this point, but it makes sense to me. However, it's also made me genuinely distressed now. Which leads me to....

Rant: Anandamide is released with exercise, and that should logically include sex. Anandamide also has reverse tolerance, as does oxytocin. Together, higher CB1 and oxytocin receptor activation will lead to increased phenethylamine levels which, if that other thing I said is correct, will lead to increased tryptamine levels. That would imply that over time, sex will increase phenethylamine and tryptamine levels consistently, unless ---> you smoke weed all the time <---, like me. One use every now and then is fine, but chronic use of THC will downregulate CB1 and oxytocin receptors, completely abolishing this effect. The implication to me is that cannabinoids can lower the activity of the feel good chemicals you normally have from a long-term relationship, since that's where chemicals like anandamide and oxytocin become so important. It also means that you would have lower 5-HT2A activation and higher NMDA activation in both the striatum and the prefrontal cortex just on a regular basis. These are things... that I cannot allow. >_>

It seems there are some life changes in order.

Ugh... I feel like barfing. It'll pass soon (well, it better anyhow lol, it's mostly heat induced)
I slept from 5AM-3PM. I woke up absolutely frozen so I rant to get a shower. I am so weird. When I'm really cold like that, the bathroom is freezing because of having no heat in the house, but I stand outside the shower for the water to warm. As I'm about to enter through the sliding door, my body seems to violently convulse a couple of times. I barely make it through the door without falling and have to brace myself. Once I warm, it passes. That's happened on several occasions and it humors me.
Then I got the water too hot but loved it anyhow until I started feeling like puking and passing out That's also happened too many times lol

My temp was only 99.7 though, so the shower couldn't have been that bad. I've gotten out of a couple where my temp has almost been 102. My blood pressure was a low normal though, so I have no idea what triggered the dizziness. (But isn't high heat supposed to RAISE your blood pressure?)

I had a demonic dream which was distressing. I had found a "Coven" (it was actually just a hidden workshop for a Solitary Practitioner of magic). Off from the hidden entrance was storage and research material, but immediately in front of the entrance was a very long stairway. Kids, supposedly MY kids when they were 4-7 years old (but looking nothing like my kids) followed me. I was stressed because I didn't want them falling off the stair because there was no railing. At the top was more research material and some drawings as well as some boxes that had clothes and stuffed animals spilling out of them. I yelled for the kids to go back but they outright refused. They became violent. My own temper soared. They attacked me a few times and I wanted to stomp them into the ground lol. I somehow got them to leave then saw an open window. There was a young raccoon behind a desk. He scurried off only to come back and bite me. Then either it or a mouse revealed itself to be my familiar. I left and told someone we needed to seal the room because it was demonic.
Then I woke up.
Strange dream lol

Carrot, Myles (now Miley) had gone to Florida to live with my folks. After being there a couple months without incident, they came home to see him sleeping on the couch. He had cut his arm repeatedly. My mom also found a suicide note so she had him committed for an evaluation. He ended up leaving on his own and asked that no one contact anyone. He's been living on the streets since about the 21st of last month. He's been transgender for a while now (openly) but now completely identifies as being female (dressing accordingly and such).

I'm trying to act appropriately. The hardest thing is simply how to refer to "him". I'm old school (and closed minded I guess) in my thinking that "If it has a penis, it is male." And then there's the whole social thing of having to explain who Miley is, when it's no ones business (in the community where we live and such) but they know him and inquire after him and what do you say lol. I'm in no way embarrassed by his decision. I just like communication to be black and white, easily shared... but now I'm struggling with whether to use "him" or "her" without having to tell everyone what's going on but respecting my childs choice.

Link, feel better soon! I do the same thing. I used to even shower before school, then stand outside in freezing temps with wet hair lol. I've heard from doctors and personal research that the cold does not make us sick. My hubby says that's not true, as does experience. If I get cold, my nose runs. Is that sick or just our body responding? Then why does the nose continue to run once we're warm lol. If the runny nose continues, then I get post nasal drip and if that continue, I'll get a chest cold and start couching

Aly. You sound like a woman on a mission! I hope your quest goes smoothly

Ugh... I have to leave for the store in 15 minutes. I do not want to go anywhere. I'll try to put it off until 5, but my son can be such a whiner.

My new rant is that today has been one of those days where every single thing that happens reminds you of something negative and by the end of the day you just feel really beaten down. My parents were trying to socialize with me for a while but I kept just brushing them off because I was already just trying to hide the fact that I would start tearing up again whenever they turned away. Later my boyfriend helped get me out of the heavy negative thoughts, but now I've still just got that drained feeling. It needs to be tomorrow already.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Aly. You sound like a woman on a mission! I hope your quest goes smoothly

Thanks again. I hope it does too.

I have over a months worth of dirty dishes I need to clean, and after that I'll have to tidy up my apartment. I've got someone coming over tomorrow, and I don't want to look like the complete slob that I am. Unfortunately it will probably mean little to no sleep tonight. Why do I always keep off until the last minute? I spent over 8 hours today playing minecraft. Oh well.
On top of that the battery for my music player died on me, and my stereo isn't working correctly. It's a pain cleaning without any sounds to take my mind of it.

And Aly, those are some interesting ponderings you've got going there. Keep posting stuff like that, when it comes to mind.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I need to try to remember that lol.



Thanks, Zhay. It's all just theory at this point, but it makes sense to me. However, it's also made me genuinely distressed now. Which leads me to....

Rant: Anandamide is released with exercise, and that should logically include sex. Anandamide also has reverse tolerance, as does oxytocin. Together, higher CB1 and oxytocin receptor activation will lead to increased phenethylamine levels which, if that other thing I said is correct, will lead to increased tryptamine levels. That would imply that over time, sex will increase phenethylamine and tryptamine levels consistently, unless ---> you smoke weed all the time <---, like me. One use every now and then is fine, but chronic use of THC will downregulate CB1 and oxytocin receptors, completely abolishing this effect. The implication to me is that cannabinoids can lower the activity of the feel good chemicals you normally have from a long-term relationship, since that's where chemicals like anandamide and oxytocin become so important. It also means that you would have lower 5-HT2A activation and higher NMDA activation in both the striatum and the prefrontal cortex just on a regular basis. These are things... that I cannot allow. >_>

It seems there are some life changes in order.

So does that mean, that heavy weed users like me and you have trouble having long term relationships because of weed?

Originally Posted by khh

And Aly, those are some interesting ponderings you've got going there. Keep posting stuff like that, when it comes to mind.

Oh, I'm sure I will lol. I don't really have anywhere else to vent most of this stuff. And thanks.

Originally Posted by ZeraCook

So does that mean, that heavy weed users like me and you have trouble having long term relationships because of weed?

It's possible. For what it's worth, my parents have been together for over thirty years and they smoked daily for nearly all of them. It's not going to make it impossible, but it may make it a bit harder, yeah. There's also a possibility that this applies more to women than it does to men. Cannabinoid receptors seem to have a larger sexual role in women than men, and oxytocin is a much more significant bonding hormone in women. That doesn't mean men will be unaffected, though.

Lower oxytocin levels actually increase dopamine cravings, which is what leads to addictive behaviors. The endocannabinoid system has been implicated in relapse before, and considering that it lowers oxytocin I wouldn't be surprised if this is to blame. The more dopamine cravings you have the more likely you are to go back to a bad habit or seek the thrill of a new sexual attraction, or anything like that. Oxytocin is kind of like the glue that holds relationships together, its reverse tolerance is what makes you satisfied with how you feel and still euphoric the longer you're intimate with someone even after the initial rush has died down. It's the chemical that promotes romantic love more than lust.

I thought this sickness I'm having would be gone since if was just a few sneezing here and there. It's getting to the point where even if I take an hour nap and feel energized, it's coming back to hit me in the face.

My eyes are droopy, I can't concentrate, I feel as if someone took my whole motivation to study. It can't be that I studied too hard, because I would've been sick a long time ago....ugh. Why the hell do final exams have to be on December, the same month where getting a cold is the most probable event.

I swear, it's a huge drainer on my whole being, and I can't think straight. Most of this is done a passive train of thought. What the fuck. I'm going to fail my finals, and I want more sleep.

I'm not taking any drugs, this is really just pure will trying to keep myself up, and I feel like I've been just wasting my time with this whole college bullshit.

I'm not complaining, it's just that I can't even control my actions right now because my body is just screaming for me to rest. The fact that I'm still sane and awake right now really bothers me. I just wish I could sleep and have a placeholder take over for the time being to take care of a few things. It's so annoying when I can't overcome this annoying cold.

I hate it, it always happens during the time of winter, which completely makes me depressed. Then I look at people who take drugs and alcohol, and they laugh at me, I really wonder who really has the audacity to laugh....them or me?

I think drugs and alcohol can help if it's done in moderation, but if you're using it all the time to replace every single fucking thing you can't handle, they who are you to call me weak when I haven't taken any of those substances and liquids?

I'm not bashing people who take drugs and alcohol as a whole, just people who just go fucking incompetent mode on me and start stating really useless things to me. Then they're going to forget what they said to me, and call me crazy. Lol.

"HA HA HA HA HA, look at this asshole! HAH HA he's so stupid!!" *drink 10428930285943 dosage of Benadryl "YOu're so STUPID!!" *their lungs start fucking up* "You're..." *cough* "so weak." *vomits*

Really? Really? I can't believe there are people like this.




Whatever, just screw this whole ambition.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

I can't provide that information to you, but it's based on the number of views, comments, and likes I get.

Well, ok then....!

Rave: Clouds are clearing out, was getting concerned there for a while.
Aly, just a reminder for the meteor shower, don't forget!
It's gonna be awesome.

Also my motorbike was revving too high while idle, decided after the last debacle that I would try the easiest thing first.
Cleaned out the air filter, which somehow had managed to get leaves, sticks, dirt and oil of some sort inside it.
I have no idea how that happened, it is literally sealed air tight inside a plastic cover o.o
Worked anyway, from now on I will remember to try the easy solution first

Feel better soon, Link.
I've been sleeping all day myself. I got 10 hours of sleep, went to the store, tried to record taking meds in my notebook when I got back. I kept trying for half an hour. I never took the meds- said screw it and went back to bed for almost 4 more hours I've only been awake now for 6 hours and I'm already ready to crawl back in bed. So I definitely understand and sympathize with your "drained" feeling!!!

I realized I'e been having a couple more dream themes for the last week +. One is magic. I've been dreaming a lot about spell casting. I only recall snippets of them though. The other theme is of a particular house. Next to the house is a large pit covered by cardboard boxes or wood. It's more than just a pit, though. It seems like an underground-ish addition to the house. In one dream, the owners had suddenly moved away and left their dog chained up. He was dead and a little bloated before the pit. His whiskers were gray.
Such strange dreams I've been having.

Ugh... was going to respond to everyone, but I'm falling asleep.. . Must now go back to bed.

everyone.
Hope y'all got to see the meteor shower.

Geminid Meteor shower is actually TOMORROW night. Goddammit lol
Well, the peak is tomorrow night anyway. Night of the 13th, I was thinking night of the 12th (going in to the 13th).
Nope, night of the 13th going in to the 14th.
I may still head out to the mountains as it is clear skies tonight and it might not be the same tomorrow....

On a better note, a new meteor shower might be happening on the same night!
Which will add an extra 30 or so meteors per hour. Crazy how good this will be
New meteor shower might coincide with 2012 Geminids! | Space | EarthSky