Thread: Are you attracted to people more for looks or personality?

No they need to be pretty for that.

I thought that's what light switches were for...

If I'm turning off the lights I'm going to use their vagina. That's what it's there for. BJs are a breakfast meal or at most an appetizer. Besides some mouths have very sharp teeth. Like sharks

Wow, gettin all serious an stuff..

BJ's only mean anything for us homos. Counts as a virginity loss even.

All I'm saying is no one's penis was hurt by the shark's vagina. That's all I'm saying.

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

As long as they have a vagina or an anus you can put your penis in it.

Hahahahahahahahahaha

I will read the entirety of the thread when I don't feel guilty about being behind with my work.. (which might perhaps be..never) but this line jumped in my eye sight. Grrrreat

Originally Posted by Omnis Dei

All I'm saying is no one's penis was hurt by the shark's vagina. That's all I'm saying.

When the hell did sharks come into this?

Sharks are proof you can't put your penis in anything with a mouth.

When it comes to girls, I can make sacrifices and overlook certain deficiencies. Would I prefer a very attractive woman? Yeah, I think that I would. Honestly, I don't think that most men my age would deny being more than a slight bit superficial. Being thin and not the worst looking, I sincerely doubt that I could ever muster up romantic feelings for somebody overweight or with unappealing facial features.

That being said, I don't think I could, under any circumstances, date a bimbo. I like pretty girls, sure, but I'm not one for relationships, be they sexual or loving. If I spend time with a girl, she needs to be at least relatively smart and share with me at least a few commonalities. A sense of humor similar to mine is great, as are coinciding interests and passions. In the last five years, I've found myself deeply attracted only to two individuals: one was exceeding beautiful, having herself a good brain and extraordinary personality; the other was plain-faced and had an average build, but embodied so many positive traits that I couldn't help but be fond of her.

So I guess I've got sort of a "standards bar". If a woman meets my physical requirements (athletic, thin, or average) and has a face that doesn't look like it was conceived within a beehive, I could go head-over-heels for her if the right conditions are met. Looks, past a certain point, cease to matter. Beauty is a bonus, not a necessity.

tl;dr - looks and body-type are fairly important, but an average-looking girl with an outstanding personality easily trumps a brainless model

'Presence' is the word in my not so humble opinion.

I kind of inadvertently explained my own preferences, in the posts that derailed the original thread (sorry about that! Lol), but I figured I'd elaborate a bit, since this branch-off thread is a more to the point.

When being asked what we're attracted to, I think it's important to clarify what one means by 'attraction.' It is really the broadest way to ask if someone finds any single thing appealing - whether it be the highness of a person's cheekbones, how knowledgeable they are at physics, or the way they snort when they laugh. I don't know that I can say what I'm more 'attracted to,' because some of the things that attract me just aren't really comparable. It's like asking me "what do you enjoy more - graphic/visual art or music?" I don't know that I can answer that question definitively. Perhaps (when it comes to women), it's because I don't look at sexual attraction like I do personal attraction. To me, they are hardly even two sides of the same coin. Sure, they can cross into each other a bit, but they can often be so far removed from each other that it doesn't even make sense to relate them.

If I see someone that has an amazing body, it will automatically put me into a 'sexual' frame of mind. I'd love to explore that body more than my eyes will allow me to. Call it plain ol' 'Lust', if you will. Since my initial exposure to that person might be just looks alone, they already will or will not be placed into a sexual context. If there was any initial 'want' - to see/experience more - it is already ingrained into my mind. On the other hand, when I meet someone and I'm attracted to their personality before their looks (if I'm at all attracted to their looks), then that person kind of slides into more of a 'partner/companion' type of context. I want to be around that person more because of their company. I want to pick their brain some more. I want to see what they're all about. I want to be impressed by what they bring to discussion. I want to be captivated by their sense of humor. Even if I haven't put a girl into a 'sexual' context yet, there is an intrigue that's already ingrained into my mind, that's just as strong.

Facial features kind of walk the line, for me. I can be personally attracted to a woman's smile, or sexually attracted to the fullness of her lips. I can be personally attracted to an innocent, doe-eyed stare, or sexually attracted to the way she arches her eyebrows, when she's smiling mischievously. Now that I really take the time to think of it, this duality goes beyond just facial features. I mean, I can be personally attracted to the way a woman holds her head high when she walks, exuding confidence, or sexually attracted to the way her hips sway, when she's leaving a room.

As far is what's "more important," then I guess it's simply situational. When it comes to 'just sex', I may have standards, but I'm a little more liberal with them. But as far as 'a potential partner', then I'm much more picky. When I first meet a girl, she might hit the 'sexual attraction' zone quite easily, but she may never get to the 'personal attraction' zone. On the other hand, she may hit the personal attraction zone first, and that might cause me to think of someone - that I might not otherwise have thought of as physically attractive - as sexually attractive. I still don't think it alters what I physically think of that person. It's just that I'll want to have sex with them for a different reason, I guess.

tl;dr - It Depends.

Best. Post. Evar.

Originally Posted by mooseantlers

I fell in love before i actually saw a pic of him sooooo....

pic of who?

Looks aren't everything but you can't masterbate over a personality.

I'd say 60(personality)/40(looks).
Both aspects are absolutely essential and I couldn't be together with a girl who - for me! - lacks one of them.

A girl's physical appearance is usually what sets the initial score, so to speak, while her personality acts as the sliding scale and has the final say in whether or not I find them attractive.

Originally Posted by tommo

pic of who?

Me, of course. I'm quite the charmer. ;]

As far as I can tell, there is simply a threshold for both. With respects to physical appearance for me, it's largely about facial beauty... and I suppose as long as they aren't overweight (and arguably that is linked to personality anyway). Then with respects to personality I'm probably more picky. Definitely intelligence is a must; both social intelligence and a sense of humour, and a keen curiosity... generally being 'nice' and lacking selfishness... a whole host of more complex factors too, I'm sure.

There's no use denying that we are human. It is our humanity that is behind pretty much every emotion we feel, most definitely including love; love obviously comes from our roots as social creatures and from courtship. In most cases it's not particularly good or bad, it's just how things are. But people who deny it are simply liars; the kind of person who lies in order to try and impose their own principles upon reality.

Also I think we need to recognise that the two aren't decoupled. I think if you think about it, somebody's appearance is intrinsically linked to how you view their personality. Faces are the primary means of emotional expression, after all.

Oh stop all the talk about personality above looks.

I say. I'll find a person with both the perfect looks and personality!

Hmm ok so maybe it depends on the time of month. Cause just for the heck of it I decided to google "hot guy" and was like...heyyyy!! I mean, I'm not going to sit around and fap to any of those pics...but I won't deny that there is a surface level physical attraction. But I swear there are other times when I could see a pic of any random hot guy and have zero attraction to them. They're just mannequins. But I assume that the time of month would actually play a large factor in that? It's the same with girls btw...though I tend to find girls more physically attractive than guys in general anyway...or maybe that depends on the time of month too? Gah, now I'm all confused damnit. This could make for an interesting experiment though...testing people's levels of attraction to males/females each day for a few months and see how it changes and when. I'm sure it's been done, but it would be fun to try it for myself.

Bah... I wish I could change my preferences and also, stop attracting the same types of males, but it seems to me predetermined somehow.

Originally Posted by tommo

pic of who?

My current boyfriend who happens to be a member of this site.

Thank you IRC.

Originally Posted by nina

Hmm ok so maybe it depends on the time of month. Cause just for the heck of it I decided to google "hot guy" and was like...heyyyy!! I mean, I'm not going to sit around and fap to any of those pics...but I won't deny that there is a surface level physical attraction. But I swear there are other times when I could see a pic of any random hot guy and have zero attraction to them. They're just mannequins. But I assume that the time of month would actually play a large factor in that? It's the same with girls btw...though I tend to find girls more physically attractive than guys in general anyway...or maybe that depends on the time of month too? Gah, now I'm all confused damnit. This could make for an interesting experiment though...testing people's levels of attraction to males/females each day for a few months and see how it changes and when. I'm sure it's been done, but it would be fun to try it for myself.

A related thing has been done, where it was shown that women are more likely to cheat during their ovulation, and more likely to cheat with a more typically masculine-featured man.

Originally Posted by nina

fap

Sorry but that term does not fit to female masturbation.