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    Thread: Need help interperting and controling a vivid recurring dream I have started having

    1. #1
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      Need help interperting and controling a vivid recurring dream I have started having

      I am a first time poster and new member. I have been having a very vivid recurring dream since returning back home from spending the holidays with my family (this was first Christmas since my father passed away).

      The dream takes place in spring 1994 and I am 15 years old. I am in my grandads old Tan 1983 Plymouth Reliant K Car (which would become my first car later that summer when I turned 16). I am buckled in the front middle seat and the car is parked in my parent’s driveway. Soon my 11-year-old sister is opening the passenger side door and sitting down in the passenger seat next to me. She is wearing the same pink hypercolor shirt, red overalls, and tan sandals that she always wears in the dream(one of her favorite outfits during that time). She closes the passenger side door and then buckles her seat belt.

      For most of the dream, my sister and I spend waiting in the car for mom to come and get it. We are both buckled-up and ready to go and just need her to get in. We always spend a really long time waiting. Probably around 20 – 30 minutes. During this time my attention sifts between looking through the windshield at our backyard; looking at the gauges on the dash board, the tan steering wheel, and empty tan vinyl drivers seat; watching at my sister blowing on her shirt so it will change colors & putting her feet on the glovebox; looking at the a/c controls and radio that are by my knees; and looking over my left shoulder towards the back door of our house to see if I see mom getting ready to come out. I try to avoid have any conversations with my sister while we are waiting for mom as her breath reeks and I will have to smell it if she talks.

      Eventually, mom is unlocking the drivers side door and sitting down in the drivers seat next to me. She puts the key in the ignition and the car makes a buzzing sound until she closes her door. She then always spends a long time adjusting the mirrors. Once she has them adjusted, I see her hand reach for the black key in the ignition and turn it so start the car. The car fails to start as I see the dash illuminated with red lights and her the buzzing sound again. Mom keeps turning the key trying to start the car, but it doesn’t want to start. I am focusing on her hand turning the key, the red lights on the dash, and the buzzing sound. Eventually she starts pumping the accelerator with her brown clog, but each crank still ends with the red lights on the dash, the buzzing sound, and the engine failing to start. I keep watching her pump the accelerator and turn the key hoping it will start on the next crank.

      I normally wake-up from the dream while mom is still trying to get the car started, pumping on the accelerator and turning the key. In some of the dreams, mom becomes worried she has left something on in the house and leaves us in the car to go in and check and I wake-up while we are waiting for her come back out.

      The dream always ends before mom has been able to start the car or has given up, so I have no idea if she is eventually able to get it started. I also have no idea where we are going as the dream begins and ends with me bucked to the center seat in the reliant.

      The time when this dream happens is around 6 months after my grandad passed away a was a really dark time I do not like to think about. I am getting really tired of having this dream most nights and then having a hard time getting back to sleep afterward.

      I decided to join this form in hopes that other members can help me with interpreting this dream and how I can stop having it. I am also interested in learning more about how I can used Lucid Dreaming (which I have never tried) to control this dream and either get it to where (1) mom gets the car started and we get to where we are supposed to go or (2) mom decides the car will not start and I unbuckle and get out of the car. I am concerned I will keep having this dream if I keep waking up while she is trying to start the car.
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    2. #2
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      woffordwv!

      Sorry about losing your father. I can't imagine how difficult that would be.

      Perhaps spending time with your family triggered feelings of reliance on them. In the dream, you're relying on your mother to start the Reliant. The theme of security recurs often in the dream with the seatbeats, illuminated dash, buzzing sounds, adjusting mirrors, ect. You feel secure in the Reliant, but the Reliant isn't working. In waking life, if you feel reliance on your family, perhaps you feel secure in this reliance, but you also feel this reliance isn't working because you want to feel more independent.

      As for lucid dreaming, upon going to bed, imagine this dream, only with you realizing you are dreaming and remembering to try whatever dream goal you have. Tell yourself this is what you want to happen next time you have this dream. The idea is to develop a connection between this dream and the intention to realize you're dreaming. This way, being in this dream is more likely to remind you that you're dreaming.

      As a dream goal, I would ask where we're going. That might offer more clues about what the dream is about.

      I think recurring dreams are based on unresolved problems we habitually think about while we're dreaming and once the problem is resolved, the recurring dream goes away.

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      Thanks for the comment about my father! He was a great man and greatly missed!

      Thanks for your interpretation and suggestions for on how I can try to take control through lucid dreaming. I will give it a try tonight and hopefully I will be able to update progress in my next dream journal entry.

      Just wondering.. do you have any interpretation as to why I am always in the middle of the front seat during this dream and why I spend so much of the dream waiting (first in the car by myself and then for the majority of the dream in the car with my sister). I am always especially confused about riding in the middle since (1) the reliant had a backseat and (2) my sister is younger/shorter/smaller than me. This part of the dream has never made sense. Is there some significance to me always being in the middle, my sister by the window, and my mom driving? Is there any significance to my sister and I always spending over 20 minutes in the car before my mom even get in? The whole dream is really confusing and hopefully I can take control and move on!
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      I think you're always in the middle of the front seat in the dream because you always feel you're in the middle of this situation where you want feel like you're in control of where you're going (in front), but are still yielding to and being dependent on your family.

      I think you are yielding the front window seat to your sister because you want to be nice to her, feel close to her, and feel she can take care of herself. Mom is driving the car and choosing a direction because you feel you are not quite capable of doing this and are placing your trust in her. I think in waking life this represents an inner conflict where you want to feel more independent in choosing where you go in life, but still feel security in feeling attached to and dependent on your family. I think in the dream you wait for a long time because in this situation in waking life, you feel like time is passing by and being wasted.

      That's my guess!

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      I tried to use Lucid Dreaming on Tuesday(1/7)/Wednesday(1/8)/Thursday(1/9) to control this dream.

      On Tuesday night, I started hoking the horn after my sister and I had been waiting for less than 10 minutes and I was getting tired of having her try to talk to me and having to smell her breath. I kept laying on the horn until mom cam out of the house. Mom worked in her garden for a while and then went back in the house for another 30 minutes because I honked at her. I tried to get out after mom went back in the house, but the drivers side door was locked and I couldn't undo my seatbelt because my sister was sitting on the buckle. When mom finally came out, she spend the longest time I can remember in any of the dreams trying to get the car started. She kept getting out and looking under the hood to try to figure out why it wasn't starting. I eventually woke up while she was trying to start it.

      On Wednesday, in the dream I thought the car smelled really bad. My sister also thought is smelled when she got in. While mom was trying to get the car started, she noticed I stepped in dog poop. I unbuckled my seatbelt and my sister let me out so I could clean my shoe. I woke-up while I was cleaning my show and could hear mom still trying to start the car in the background. This was the first time EVER in the dream that I was not buckled to the front center seat.

      I did not have the dream on Thursday and have not had it again since Wednesday when I dreamed I stepped in dog poop and got let our of the car to clean it.

      Wondering if Lucid Dreaming was responsible for the changes to the dream on Tuesday and Wednesday (and it not recurring since then) or if it was just a coincidence. Friday evening through this afternoon, I was leading an out of town retreat for the leadership team for a big community event I am running this summer. It has been a nice break from the family drama I dealt with over Christmas.

    6. #6
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      Sorry to hear about your father.

      Never underestimate the power of your subconscious. Your mind can do some funky things in your dreams. One thing I do see, it looks like you are heading in the right direction. However, not all lucid tricks can magically fix everything and make your nightmare go away. Just keep that in mind. Keep on fighting.
      Your subconscious, probably like this one, will make you go through all kinds of scenarios before you can solve it.
      What do you fear in your real life? It's good that you got that leadership thing. Positive can always be a plus for battling inner turmoil.
      You can lock up bad memories, you can burn it. Bury it and pray that it dies but, it never will. It just rests awhile. I suppose that can't always make a nightmare disappear just like that. You can lock your doors in your dream, and say your prayers at night but, a nightmare is out there, waiting. And maybe, just maybe, it's closer than you think. You have a lot of work to do because if you suppress a bad dream, it will take a different form.
      So, as far as Lucid Dreaming was responsible for the changes to the dream on Tuesday and Wednesday? That is a possibility. Something happening in your waking life can have a compact on your non-lucid and your lucid dreaming.
      What would help if you continue practicing is "all-day awareness" and Dream journaling. If it comes up again, chronicle it. Right everything down that you remember. Some of the smallest details can help solve your inner puzzle.
      Continue to do things in your waking life that will boost your confidence.
      With me: I've had dreams like this where they started badly at first, like losing a family member, gone lucid and made the mistake of thinking that you can just fix the problem just like that. The next time something negative happened, in my life, they appeared again but, different scenarios.
      I got to a point where I still see these dream characters but, they are not the problem. Then again, they only really appear when I have self-doubt.
      Seriously, though, there is no essay way of making something go away.
      I hope that helps?

    7. #7
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      If this is truly one of those unresolved issue things then I have done what you describe, hundreds of times, and it is not a cure. When I take control of these types of dreams I find that even though I am aware and in control, I still experience the same frame of mind, and the same emotions as I would otherwise. It's as if the stage is set for one of those dreams, and being aware doesn't change that. You'd think, "I could take control over the dream and change it to something happy" but that is not what happens. One cannot simply choose to be happy. The dream, being a relative construct of your own consciousness, cannot be happy if you are not. Having control over your dream is not the same as having control over your emotions during that dream.
      That said, I'm not saying that taking control over a dream like this is a bad idea. I am saying that it may not result exactly how you would expect. I speak from a LOT of experience doing exactly what you're talking about. In fact, it is the reason my profile is tagged with "haunted by entropy", and has been for years. I've never told anyone here, but most of my lucid dreams these days are these recurring unresolved issue dreams, based on my grandfather. I have them every week.
      However, everyone is different, and your experience may be completely different.

      If you want them to go away, tackle the root of the issue; Controlling the dream that emerges from that issue does not necessarily make it go away.
      Last edited by sloth; 01-13-2020 at 08:40 AM.
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