 Originally Posted by Qwer
you can take advantage by not wasting it with suicide, by helping people, being a good person, experienceing things, exploring your consciousness and living
And what is the point in that? What are you wasting with suicide? Why should you help people? What does it even mean to be a good person? Why experience, or explore your consciousness?
What if, hypothetically speaking, you don't have the opportunity to do those things? Most of us have to work very, very hard just to stay here, stay fed, take care of our loved ones, etc. What if, rather than proactively seek suicide, someone decided to just stop working so damned hard and let themselves die of natural causes after they lose their house and their source of nourishment?
Most of us, as much as we may desire to help others and have fun experiences and explore our consciousness, cannot do so very often. As much fun as being alive is, it's also kind of a pain in the ass, a lot of the time. And a lot of people think it's a pain in the ass most of the time, and hold on for the sake of their loved ones but not because they're actually happy or enjoying their time here. I would love nothing more than to wake up every morning, greet a beautiful day, ponder whatever I wanted to, experience whatever I wanted to, and then go help people and be a good person. But in this world, survival can take up so much time and energy that what I want to do simply doesn't coincide with what I need to do. I certainly still get to do what I want some of the time, but a lot of the time I'm simply working, pushing my boulder up that hill. And during this time, I look forward to when things will change and I don't have to work and do things I don't want to do. But do you understand the confusion here? For me to not kill myself, it appears I must do what I do not want to do, at least with the majority of my time.
And another question, let's say someone is dealing with the debilitating regret of killing like, I don't know, 7 people in a car accident. Every second they live is in agonizing guilt. Should they just strive to make up for it, bury themselves in some altruistic fascination? Ignore the fact that they can't live with themselves and chase some notion of redemption? Should they forgive themselves and act like nothing happened?
I know a lot of people who committed suicide, and I have a hard time figuring out how I could have possibly talked them out of it, not any of them. One of my friends was addicted to downers and hung himself. He did it for a lot of reasons but the main one was his drug related demon. How do you tell someone in the grip of such a strong addiction that they should remain alive, just because otherwise it's a waste? A waste of what? One guy suffering so much he can only find solace in brief little moments where he gets high?
I know that things change, and people in these states of suffering can move out of them and find a happier state like Xei described. But it's also true that things change, and Xei's happiness most likely won't last the rest of his life. Like Buddha, Einstein and everybody else, he'll go through good times and bad. Are the good times really worth the bad? Or are they equal, so there's no real, easily verifiable difference between being alive and dead other than being able to experience and not?
I mean let's take Sisyphus. According to Camus' interpretation, Sisyphus could leap from the cliff at any time. He could kill himself if he liked. His duty was to roll a boulder up a hill... for eternity. This sounds like a predicament where most of us would choose death, almost axiomatically (teehee). When presented with an eternity of labor, wouldn't you prefer some sort of change, even if this change is simply the end? But Camus argued Sisyphus was happy, because if he wasn't, he would have killed himself. Seems plausible enough, if you're not happy you'd quit. Except I have a suspicion that lots and lots of people are unhappy lots of the time, and they cling to life not because they've surrendered to their predicament but because they await change, and believe they will escape whatever pile of shit they're in, eventually.
For me, I'm usually pretty happy. Not all the time, of course, but most of the time. Even while doing something I don't want to do, I surrender to it and that acceptance tends to make it slightly more bearable. But this is also why I don't understand how happiness is axiomatically a good reason to stay alive, especially if staying alive means doing what you don't want to do, as it does for most people. I am happy as a defense because it feels better than suffering, because if I had a choice between being unhappy and happy, I'd choose happiness. So I do, because there is a choice. This is why I don't see how happiness justifies continuing existence. Happiness justifies itself because it feels easier than unhappiness. That's it. It does not appear to justify life in any way.
And furthermore, surviving means causing suffering to others, for many of us. I suppose you could be a vegetarian and tell yourself plants don't have feelings. But if you choose to eat meat, you're choosing to cause suffering in some way. What if we met some alien race that evolved as predators and could not digest vegetables, and had to cause suffering to remain alive? What if these people, despite how happy they were and how much they helped others, decided to commit mass suicide in order to stop the suffering of the animals they killed? Would this be a justified suicide or self-extinction?
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